Do I have an opportunity here? URGENT,

[Will_IR]

So recently a work friend asked me if I wanted to go see a movie. Which at the time i assumed the request was platonic in nature. I said sure and that I would talk to her later. I hit her up on face book because I dint have her number. Low and behold we weren't FB friends, so I friend requested her and sent a MSG saying how I had thought we were FB friends already. She responds "i know, what a shocker" at this point I start flirting with her a bit, being funny and sarcastic. I get responses like, " you crack me up" and "you're so crazy" . a day later we start planning what we are going to see and when. We decide on what movie and that we are going to see it on Tuesday. She recently moved into a new place which I had not seen, so I said I would pick her up, as it doesn't make sense to take two cars, and I could get a tour of the apt. I also mention that I will want to get food before hand so I'll pick her up a little early.

She then asks me if I want to invite other people. I respond with something along the lines of "let's just keep this a (insert my name) and (insert her name) thing. That sounds like a sitcom title." She mentions the show "will and grace" and I mention how I hated the annoying best friend on that show. I start to get that ol feeling when she says, " we'll I hope I'm not that way." I reply, "too late". Which gets a laugh.

Now here's the rub. Today I get a msg saying she forgot that she had plans for early in the afternoon on Tuesday, so she wanted to know what time I was going to pick her up. I said around 630-7 since the movie started at 8. She said she didn't know what time she would be back from her errands. With which I responded,"and...?" She came back to me with, "but I'll make it." So I said fine, just txt me you're address and I'll pick you up at 630-7, and she responded with, "sounds good." So do I have an opportunity here? Am I misreading her signals, or am i reading them correctly and just happened to pass one of her **** tests, by not allowing excuses?

 

[5string]

Escalate! Step it up and exchange bodily fluids with her.

 

[Will_IR]

So I'm not misreading here...?

 

[5string]

So I'm not misreading here...?

The voices in my head tell me you are being timid (with all respect). Like they say on this forum.....if you aren't fvcking her, you are just another one of her girlfriends.

 

[Will_IR]

I can afford to be timid here. But I agree so I will certainly escalate, just looking for other opinions...

 

[Atom Smasher]

Will, whatever you do, stop the chatting on FB. Casual texting kills relationships.

When you chat with a woman you become "common", like one of her chatty little girlfriends. You're a man who has little time for idle chit-chat unless you're present with her.

Believe me... many guys learn this way too late... text chat kills relationships. This happens for different reasons depending on the stage of the relationship. In the beginning stage it makes you appear common and too focused on her. Even if you're not focused on her and spinning a gazillion plates, all she sees is your focus on her.

After a few dates she is looking for excuses to either stay with you or dump you. That's when female INTERPRETATION comes in. She will assign everything you text a certain meaning, and it matters little what your actual meaning was. One false move at this point and it throws a switch in her brain.

Texting is the most volatile thing on the planet when it comes to relationships. It can make you or break you, and we witness time and time again here how some guy was texting a chick and she lost interest.

Texting is not completely avoidable and it can be a useful thing when used with the greatest discernment and caution. Successful texting is equivalent to the way of the sniper. Each shot must have purpose and intent, and even then her brain hamster can assign a completely different meaning than that which you are conveying.

When a woman misinterprets your text, her interpretation by and large becomes FACT in her mind. Half the time you won't even know that she misinterpreted because women communicate covertly while men communicate directly.

Texting: Useful in a sniper's skilled hands when used with intent and very sparingly. Brings you down to the common when used for chat. Is subject to wild misinterpretations. Good for flirting when used sparingly.

Any exchange of more than 4 or 5 texts is almost always way too much.

I know this sounds a little heavy and overly intense, but I see this issue with texting desproying chances with a girl over and over again. I myself have ruined things by chatting via text. A man's best bet is to appear busy, actively engaged in life, and conveying very clearly to any specific woman that she is an adjunct, a PART of your life but by no means the focus of your attention. Women actually crave this.

Men must do everything they can to avoid falling into the groove of what is common to her. Think if it as channels in her brain, much like those channels of erosion that run down a dirt hill. We must avoid falling into her established channels. Once we do, we are categorized and no longer a force that is digging a new channel.

This is way more than you asked for, but I'm writing this in hopes that some guys will think about the dangers of chatty texting. That phone of hers is a constant torrent of chat. You will get lost in that torrent. Instead be a torrent that comes in from the flanks, one that will knock her over and sweep her away.

 

[user43770]

I mean, it's hard for anyone to say what her intentions are. Only she knows that for sure. I would just caution you about getting involved with someone from work. How often do you see her at your job? How willing are you to give up a peaceful atmosphere at work? If this girl turns out to be a nutjob, you'll be into it. Nothing worse than dreading going into work every single day.

 

[Will_IR]

Thank you gentlemen for your advice. I realize texting too much is detrimental. Unfortunately, I didn't realize until much later that I may have even had an opportunity with her. Originally it was simply friends talking. That is part of the reason I posted this up, because I just want to stay objective. That being said I see her tomorrow, so we will see how it goes. But I don't plan to txt her much anymore.

As for being a colleague, we now work opposite shifts, so we have the same days off, but I never see her at work.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Atom Smasher's post should be stickied somewhere.
Every word is the damned truth.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Hey wait a minute! I've been saying "texting KILLS relationships" for MONTHS now and dang near got flamed for it, and now it's being accepted?!? Good grief...

Anyway... typically, anytime a woman hits you up to say "oh, something's changed," it's not a good thing. Doesn't mean she's going to cancel, but it never reads well, especially when it's last minute. Plus, when she said had errands to run, it's not like she voluntarily said "Oh, but I'll make it on time for you to pick me up" until you prodded her - also not a good sign. I don't know where in the world you live, but seeing as it's 9:36 PM Pacific Coast time, I'm assuming you all ended up going on the date. Let us know what happened, maaaaan!

 

[Will_IR]

No we haven't, it's tonight. But at this point I've come to think she is more likely NOT interested. Since out last communication, which was before I posted this thread, she has not given me her address. She knows I'm going to pick her up, and that I don't have it. At this point I'm willing to just say to hell with it. I'm not going to ask again for her address. If she contacts me with her address I guess we can go out. If not, she probably won't be sitting at home anyway, so neither will I...

 

[Greasy Pig]

No we haven't, it's tonight. But at this point I've come to think she is more likely NOT interested. Since out last communication, which was before I posted this thread, she has not given me her address. She knows I'm going to pick her up, and that I don't have it. At this point I'm willing to just say to hell with it. I'm not going to ask again for her address. If she contacts me with her address I guess we can go out. If not, she probably won't be sitting at home anyway, so neither will I...

I say if you're keen just ask for the address. There's nothing beta or weak about that.
It shows you're interested and a man who likes to be organised and who takes the lead.

Just say: ''Hey, is your address 123 Smith St, or is there another Amanda in town whose address I saw on the restroom wall at McDonald's?"
"So will I be picking you up from the special school this evening or will you be at home?"
"As a secret agent, I've acquired many skills...except the ability to guess where you live. Oh, by the way, this message will self destruct in five seconds...."
"Me and my friends have been trying to figure out your address so I can pick you up. So far, we've come up with Lazy Acres trailer park, behind a dumpster on 11th Avenue and that creepy house on Elm St where a lady lives with about 100 cats. Which one is it?"

These are quite lame, but hopefully you get the idea.

 

[playa99]

I posted last night about the importance of using text and FB as just a weapon on the Facebook thread on tips, relax man, go out meet her and see what happens, Try your best to escalate, if shes not interested move on to the next girl who is interested!! Atom smasher smashed that post, so true, you need to stop looking this much into things, I used to overanalyse everything, let things flow.. Don't be scared of the future what will be will be, just do your best to get the girl and keep on improving, texting and FBing are women's tools to chat, I use FB and twitter to post views about little things I'm interested in.. If I wanna get to know a girl I will get her number and meet her! Practice makes perfect!

 

[Bible_Belt]

So recently a work friend asked me if I wanted to go see a movie...She then asks me if I want to invite other people.

Did you see what she did there? She asked you on a date, but then got you to be the first one to call it a date. That is some good female game. But then it sounds like she got cold feet and chickened out.

 

[Will_IR]

And that's what happened. She flaked out. After I asked her for her address, I never got a response. Can't say I was surprised, I had a backup plan just in case. At any rate, figured I'd let you guys know what happened. Just goes to show, never underestimate a woman's ability to flake.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Fvcking hell. What a teasing bytch.
Go ghost man. If you see her at work, just give her professional respect and no more.
She's rejected the gift of being with you and now she should be pushed to your outer circle of work acquaintances.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Honestly before I read that she flaked on you, my response would have been that her asking you if you want to invite other people is a...wait for it....wait for it........HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE red flag.

"Do you want to invite anyone else" = please tell me we're not going on a date.

Hence the flake.

A girl who is really into you wants you all to herself. I have seen all variations of passive-aggressive rejects and the above is one of the top ways girls reject you.

 

[Will_IR]

It's honestly whatever. I really don't give a ****. Just another in a long line of ignorant women.