Do guys who get less attractive chicks avoid BPD?

[Zarky]

Been seeing a sh*t-ton of BPD threads and posts here in the past few months.

All of them involve a really attractive girl.

I haven't met one BPD girl ever to my knowledge, but then I "date" average looking (and below) women. Are they usually excluded from the ranks of BPD?

That is to say, does your chance of dating a BPD chick rise dramatically as you go up the hotness scale?

Has anyone known (maybe not dated) a fugly BPD girl?

 

[SgtSplacker]

Personally, I have a soft spot for ugly girls with huge cans. Kinda like pugs...

And no psychological issues there, the cans keep em sexual and happy and the grill keeps em private... win win.

 

[j.619]

Personally, I have a soft spot for ugly girls with huge cans. Kinda like pugs...

And no psychological issues there, the cans keep em sexual and happy and the grill keeps em private... win win.

I love you for saying this.

 

[Zarky]

LOL

10char

 

[devilkingx2]

it's likely that there are non-hot BPDs but no one wants to bother with an ugly chick long enough to find out the depths of her insanity

 

[asa_don]

That is to say, does your chance of dating a BPD chick rise dramatically as you go up the hotness scale?

Has anyone known (maybe not dated) a fugly BPD girl?

surprised that you don't know this or have encountered one since you said you've been banging 4's on pof for years.

 

[ovoxo]

The higher you go up the hotness scale the more poor parenting (lack of father figure) is magnified and shows through.

 

[SBW]

I'd also hazzard a guess that a BPD's behaviour and inherent natural capacity for game could bump-up/project their apparent attractiveness a good point or two for many guys.

 

[expos]

A personality disorder doesn’t discriminate.

The problem is that the hotter the female with the disorder, the more they CAN get away or CAN abuse. A people pleasing, beta, AFC male will willingly put up with disrespectful behavior over long bouts of time because if they are lower on the attractive scale (let’s say they are a 3 or 4) and they are nailing an HB8, they’ll want to hold on as long as they can because they think they are getting a great deal. The BPD woman is the prize, and she knows it, and the male is brainwashed into thinking that way. The abuse continues until the guy gets his act together and leaves.

It’s completely relative, if the BPD female is 4 or 5 in terms of looks, they will never target a guy who is a 6 or 7. They will go after an equal or lesser looking guy. Take a good look around - you’ll see this everywhere - not just with BPD women.

The BPD woman will target males they can control. Last summer I was dating this single mom HB8 who didn’t have BPD, but was definitely a branch-swinger to the highest degree. She wasn't a good woman. We stopped seeing each other for many reasons, but one of them was certainly because I never let her call the big shots and I wanted to drive that relationship (they way it SHOULD be). Call me controlling or whatever, but I think she knew that I wasn’t going to be fooled. She was always used to getting her way being an only child, and the minute she didn’t agree to meet up one night and was slow to respond to a few of my texts, I BAILED and never contacted her again.

Sure enough, I heard a week later she’s got some dude doing housework for her and playing with her son!

Anyways it’s all about CONTROL, CONTROL, CONTROL with BPD. In my marriage to a BPD woman, the moment I started going out and doing the things I wanted to do (running, soccer, playing my bass guitar) that didn’t involve her is when she started acting up and treating me like crap. Keep in mind that I WAS giving her a lot of attention, but it was this power shift where she wasn’t getting her way all the time. I should have set boundaries in the beginning. If i did, 1) we might still be together (but probably not), and 2) She would have bailed in our relationship a lot sooner because she knew it wasn’t always going to be about her.

In any healthy relationship there should be some sort of team effort between you and the female. But every team has a leader and that should be YOU, not some woman.

 

[logicallefty]

Personally, I have a soft spot for ugly girls with huge cans. Kinda like pugs...

And no psychological issues there, the cans keep em sexual and happy and the grill keeps em private... win win.

Same here! :crackup: :crackup:

And now all I hear is the country song "I like my women just a little on the.... Trashy side!"

 

[zekko]

I've never dated a BPD before, but then again all the borderline personality girls I've known have been ugly as fvck. <shrug>

I don't know if BPDs are more common with better looks, but it makes sense that guys come here as a result of problems with very attractive women. Those are the girls who have the power to really torment the unsuspecting guy. And nobody is going to come here and complain about some ugly chick because nobody is going to care about them one way or the other.

 

[Maximus Rex]

How Do You She's Attractive?

All of them involve a really attractive girl.

Unless there's a picture of said chick, how do you know what she's attractive? The dudes that are in the situation tend to make the chick hotter than what she actually is.

 

[zekko]

Unless there's a picture of said chick, how do you know what she's attractive? The dudes that are in the situation tend to make the chick hotter than what she actually is.

It really only matters if she is attractive to the guy in question. Most likely, she is a more attractive girl than he is used to getting, or that he thinks he can get. That's where the trouble begins.

 

[dasein]

I've dated two full-blown BPDs out of dozens if not hundreds of women dated over 30+ years. It's overused in the same way "player," "narcissist," "commitmentphobe," and "sociopath" are overused by women and some men. Most of what men call BPD is just getting dumped hard. Everyone, including everyone who posts to this forum exhibits BPD traits from time to time, traits aren't the disorder though, which is pretty easy to spot. A woman being "mean" and callously dumping, lying to or cheating on a guy is not BPD. A woman in the panic of abandonment anxiety when you are simply leaving for work, infantilizing and crawling around baby-talking in the floor grabbing at your legs? That's BPD.

As far as looks, the nature of BPD as part of a cluster disorder comorbid with eating disorders and HPD is what tends to make them better looking IMO, so in this case, I think mental illness -does- discrminate. They are generally even more obsessed with their bodies than normal women, and many of them have experienced life average looking, seen how fast they get dumped when the crazy comes out to play. They learn to use looks and sex as a defense mechanism to keep the supply around long enough to spring the trap.

 

[christoff522]

I've dated two full-blown BPDs out of dozens if not hundreds of women dated over 30+ years. It's overused in the same way "player," "narcissist," "commitmentphobe," and "sociopath" are overused by women and some men. Most of what men call BPD is just getting dumped hard. Everyone, including everyone who posts to this forum exhibits BPD traits from time to time, traits aren't the disorder though, which is pretty easy to spot. A woman being "mean" and callously dumping, lying to or cheating on a guy is not BPD. A woman in the panic of abandonment anxiety when you are simply leaving for work, infantilizing and crawling around baby-talking in the floor grabbing at your legs? That's BPD.

As far as looks, the nature of BPD as part of a cluster disorder comorbid with eating disorders and HPD is what tends to make them better looking IMO, so in this case, I think mental illness -does- discrminate. They are generally even more obsessed with their bodies than normal women, and many of them have experienced life average looking, seen how fast they get dumped when the crazy comes out to play. They learn to use looks and sex as a defense mechanism to keep the supply around long enough to spring the trap.

Yeah this is totally true. My experience with BPD is someone who simply will not leave you alone. You're at work and you've had a row just to get away, manipulated into sending texts at work so she knows you're not cheating. Being forced to skype when you aren't together from 11pm til 6am. She never sleeps, has 10,000 guys on her phone. Is OBSESSED with having babies. Hates her mother to the point of making videos calling her a *****. Has mood swings like you wouldn't imagine. Talks to you like a baby "chrissy, i love you chrissy". Rings you and if you don't pick up just rings again and again and again and eventually tells you she "gives up" on you because you didn't answer. Will literally dump you for ANYTHING, then will just talk to you like nothing's happened. Goes crazy if you say ANYTHING negative and will cry and abuse you.

Has a different hairstyle every week, even looks physically different in photos. Weird thing, you can look at a photo of her one year ago, and you look at a pic now and almost looks like a different person. Always has a different string of guys liking her pictures. Is obsessed with a guy one week, and then hates him the next. Is practically an alcoholic, and takes drugs - prescription and illegal.

So many features to BPD. But it's basically emotional instability, and a massive emotional void, they need experience to fill that void. Oh and they're total control freaks.

Oh and BPD's come in all shapes and sizes, often the only reason they're deemed "more attractive" is due to how much they've learned in manipulation and make up and clothing. most BPDs are going to be "demure and girly" because they know it works best on guys, but some will dress like total *****s. But they've learned their craft well (they've had to) and often the guy who's into them has been observed and studied before contact has even been made so she'll configure herself to the guys preferences.

 

[Vulpine]

I disagree with you for 3 reasons:

+1

I'd like to add a 5th to your "3":

There are degrees. Non-functional up to Highly Functional.


Looking back on my experience... all the stuff. All of it. Never again. My gut does cartwheels when I meet one now, and I know it's not "butterflies". Looking back at other chicks prior to the full-on 4 alarm bell ringer, I see other shades of gray "potentials". When I consider how many chicks threw themselves at me and their behaviors afterwards... I'm just glad the past is the past.
*Eeesh*

 

[gov87]

This is interesting and I started reading about BPD after my ex.

She had only been with one other guy before (sexually too) me who "emotionally abused and almost physically did as well". I didn't realize for a while after that she had manipulated me a lot. She also wanted to have kids really bad and marriage. When I told her how I wanted to take a step back from all of that talk, she would cry- even while we were at dinner.

She also had strong reactions to situations- this one time when I got home from working out, I told her i was just staying in and cleaning rather than hanging out with her at her friends. I told her she could come over later to watch a fight with me and my buddy and his gf. She flipped, started yelling at me on the phone telling me I screwed her whole evening up. I told her I was hanging up and she told me I wasn't and said F*** you to me. I left my phone for a bit, came back and found texts saying "you better pray I'm not pregnant, don't you dare tell your friends about this, I'm coming over later to settle this, etc"- the next day when i did see her she didn't think she did anything wrong.

My question is, would you consider this BPD or just a drama queen? Either way, it was nothing anyone should put up with.

 

[The_411]

Ignore the BPD label. The simple distillation is that the hotter a woman is the more likely a girl will put up with her crazy and less likely she's had to develop her personality for guys to like her.

Still there are guys who will date ugly *****y women because just like guys being a-hole attacts women women acting like *****es attracts good liking guys.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Who's to Say

Been seeing a sh*t-ton of BPD threads and posts here in the past few months.

All of them involve a really attractive girl.

Unless you've seen a full body picture of the chick in good lighting, you really don't know if she's hot or not. When a dude is dealing with a chick, he tending to rank her maybe a point or so hotter than what she actually is.

I'm willing to bet that most of these BPD chicks are 5-6's with an occasional 7-7.5, and every blue moon, might be a true H.B. 8/

I haven't met one BPD girl ever to my knowledge, but then I "date" average looking (and below) women.

Sorry to here that bruh. You should value yourself more.

Are they usually excluded from the ranks of BPD?

That is to say, does your chance of dating a BPD chick rise dramatically as you go up the hotness scale?

As PHM would say, this board is dominated by beta male faggots who knowingly aid and abet these hoes in their emotional and mental f*ckery. They (like you, with no offense intended,) they feel as if they don't deserve more, so they're not demanding more of the women they choose to be with. These guys choose to indulge these women in their f*ckery simply the hoe is giving them the time of day. Men of worth and value don't tolerate these mentally unstable women (because as the guys from RSD so often say,) they're operating from abundance. As a result, when the chick breaks bad, she's immediately cut off, and since these guys are operating from abundance, they now they'll find another chick that's just as hot, minus the issues.

 

[logicallefty]

Almost every woman I have been with has complained about being "abused" by somebody in the past, either family or a man.

The less crazy of those will say "I was verbally abused but not physically abused" and leave it at that.

The more crazy ones will say "I was verbally abused and to me that's just as bad or worse than physical".

I can only recall two off the top of my head who I don't remember saying she was abused in some way. I could call both of them HB6s.