Do girls that smoke pot make bad wife/LTR material?

[mrRuckus]

people say weed is a gateway drug. .

Because they're fvcking stupid. Fvck "people." If I know anything about the average person it's that that their thoughts are useless.

Alcohol is a drug. No one says it's a gateway to any other drug.

 

[MikeOck]

Do girls that smoke pot make bad wife/LTR material?

The answer to this is quite simple:

If you smoke pot, then you will likely be better off with a woman who smokes as well.

If you don't smoke pot, then you will likely be better off with a woman who doesn't smoke either.

I've seen people who go against that in their long term relationships and more often then not, the person who doesn't smoke assumes that the smoker will eventually quit. Slowly the nagging to quit begins and eventually it becomes a cause for fights. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but in my experience, the majority of cases follow that path.

 

[Bible_Belt]

That is not a bad rule, Mike, but in my experience this is one of the few times where a gender-biased double standard is in order. If you're with a woman who takes a submissive role by nature, she should not mind that a guy smokes. She should follow you in whatever you do without needing to participate on an equal level. That's follower behavior, and that's what you want to see in a girl who likes you.

But when you're the non-smoking guy who has to put up with a girl who does, that thrusts you into the submissive role, which is of course bad for the relationship dynamic.

 

[Colossus]

The answer to this is quite simple:

If you smoke pot, then you will likely be better off with a woman who smokes as well.

If you don't smoke pot, then you will likely be better off with a woman who doesn't smoke either.

I've seen people who go against that in their long term relationships and more often then not, the person who doesn't smoke assumes that the smoker will eventually quit. Slowly the nagging to quit begins and eventually it becomes a cause for fights. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but in my experience, the majority of cases follow that path.

Agree.

I'm also with backbreaker on this one. I smoke occasionally, and I love it, so I'd prefer a woman who does as well or at least tolerates it. My last gf was vehemently against it, and one time she found out I blazed with my buddies and literally broke up with me for a day. You just cant reason with some people, they have a very emotional reaction to drugs.

I think pot is on the mildest end of the spectrum, but for some people drugs are drugs. OP, does it bother you? Probably since you made a thread about it. That might be your answer.

Personally I have no issue with occasional use but I wouldn't date a woman who uses daily or is too into that culture. I cant be dragged into that.

 

[backbreaker]

Because I know that underneath all the nice clothes, and the house and the family and the business I own, that I am very much a drug addict, I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt as I have conduced a numerous amount of field experiments that lead me to this conclusion lol, this is one of those things that i have zero flexibility on. There is no gray with me on this issue. Not only can I not date/marry anyone who does hard drugs, my wife can't associate with anyone who does. Anything other than weed or a little something to drink is a no no. Under no circumstances, and if she does, i have made it, quite clear, that it woudl take me all of 10 seconds to get in the car, find a lawyer and file for divorce. I'm that serious about my sobriety and she knows me well enough to know that I'm to fvcking around. **** i randomly drug tested her for a year and a half, try me. It's not even about preference e it's about life or death.


I'm not a polysubstance abuser (addicted to more than one drug, one drug leads ot others) I can drink with no problem at all. I can smoke a little weed with no problem at all. Honestly I don't even really care for weed all that much, i don't like the smell and it leaves a snitch in the clothes and the house and I am a neat freak, but I mean it's not bad I'll do it, it's fun under the right circumstances. we are all sitting around watching a movie and having a few drinks sure why not. But it's not something i have to do.

I mean i don't know if my wife had a regular / real job and she came home form work and kicked her shoes off everyday and fired up a joint. I don't know how i would feel about that. not even the fact that she is smoking weed, but the fact that she has to snmoke everyday, i would feel the same if she were drinking everyday she doesn't have to drink, she drinks about as... well a little more than i do, she likes wine coolers and stuff and willd rink one a few nights a week I'm a once in a blue moon drinker. But still the point is the same, it's not so much the drug per say but the, need to have it everyday, like what are you trying to get away from, what are you trying to distort?

i think what i am trying to say, is you have to ask yourself is she trying to unwind/kick back and have gfun or is she trying to make it threw the day? i can live with the former, the latter is a red flag. and a big one.

 

[Boilermaker]

So this is you not being a day-to-day poster. God forbid, if you let the gates open, we'll all drown in your vomit. You need a life. Welcome back, though!
I hope you didn't quit drugs like you quit the forums?
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OP: Marijuana is a drug. You like it or not, it is illegal, and it is not up to some junkie to decide whether it should be legal, or whether it compares well to alcohol which is not illegal. Smarter people with proper expertise (Addiction psychiatrists, lawmakers, politicians --- I mean people who don't "regularly" fire up a joint like some dope-head) get to decide why alcohol is legal and marijuana is not. Chronic use of marijuana has extremely adverse effects to health, and it is highly addictive. It is *the* main gateway drug, and % 99 of the time, marijuana users will end up smoking cigarettes. People who claim that they smoke cannabis "occasionally" end up belittling their actual use of the drug; and lots of them like to claim that it's a "natural" drug and they can "shake it off" whenever they want. And they frequently "shake it off" if you know what I mean .

There's no "kicking back" and using it "recreationally", that's what addiction psychiatrists say, unlike knowledgeable potheads. Plus the fact that this stuff is obtained, produced and circulated illegally also makes you question the conditions it travels through, like somebody's anus or filthy marijuana labs ( they usually process the drug with something harder to make it more addictive). All in all, a guy who has a good head on his shoulders wouldn't even come close to this stuff, and for me, seriously dating a pot-head is out of the question. I hope I get a lot of hateful responses for this; especially from users who have rationalized their "mild" addiction - since nothing amuses me more than a weak soul trying to prove how benign this stuff is and how they have it under control and so on.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

^

So this is you not being a day-to-day poster. God forbid, if you let the gates open, we'll all drown in your vomit. You need a life.
-----
OP: Marijuana is a drug. You like it or not, it is illegal, and it is not up to some junkie to decide whether it should be legal, or whether it compares well to alcohol which is not illegal. Smarter people with proper expertise (Addiction psychiatrists, lawmakers, politicians --- I mean people who don't "regularly" fire up a joint like some dope-head) get to decide why alcohol is legal and marijuana is not.

Chronic use of marijuana has extremely adverse effects to health, and it is highly addictive. It is *the* main gateway drug, and % 99 of the time, marijuana users will end up smoking cigarettes.

People who claim that they smoke cannabis "occasionally" end up belittling their actual use of the drug; and lots of them like to claim that it's a "natural" drug and they can "shake it off" whenever they want.

And they frequently "shake it off" if you know what I mean

There's no "kicking back" and using it "recreationally", that's what addiction psychiatrists say, unlike knowledgeable potheads.

Plus the fact that this stuff is obtained, produced and circulated illegally also makes you question the conditions it travels through, like somebody's anus or filthy marijuana labs ( they usually process the drug with something harder to make it more addictive).

All in all, a guy who has a good head on his shoulders wouldn't even come close to this stuff, and for me, seriously dating a pot-head is out of the question.

I will get a lot of hate mail for this; especially from users who have rationalized their "mild" addiction.

Exactly. I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on life. I wouldn't waste my time dating some chick who smokes.

 

[Colossus]

Never ceases to amaze me the harshness of judgment people lay down with drugs. Reminds me of grad school: No one had a problem in the world with future healthcare providers going out on a Saturday night and getting blackout drunk then barfing their guts out, but heaven forbid someone takes a few tokes and gets high. They must be a degenerate criminal scumbag .

 

[backbreaker]

Never ceases to amaze me the harshness of judgment people lay down with drugs. Reminds me of grad school: No one had a problem in the world with future healthcare providers going out on a Saturday night and getting blackout drunk then barfing their guts out, but heaven forbid someone takes a few tokes and gets high. They must be a degenerate criminal scumbag .

it's a tad bit more complex than that. Granted I have experience with drugs and I know more than the avg joe does about the effet of drugs, but drugs is a subject that most people are dealing with, using very little information and what information they do have is usually inaccurate.

let me give you an example. take my family. Besides myself, I also have an uncle who had a very bad drug problem, much worse than mine ever got, that pretty much severed his relationship wtih our family until maybe..5 or or so years ago. This is on my father's side of my family. In addition to that, my actual grandfather, is or was before he died, an alcoholic.

Now with that said, what if you.. are my little 22 year old brother. While extremely smart just like his big brother, he has no where near the... what's the word I'm looking for. he's live a much more sheltered life than I have. He looks at drugs, and the only thing he can draw on is personal experience.

That works both ways. First, he knows he has a brother that battled a drug problem and an uncle that did so as well. When you say drugs to him, it's what kept his big brother from going to his basketball games and it's the reason why he is just now seeing his uncle for the first time in his life at the age of 21. He's sheltered, **** he still hasn't had a drink yet (seriously), you think he knows or even gives a **** the difference between weed or cocaine? he doesn't care. he doesn't even know he is supposed to care. To him it's as cut point blank as drugs =bad. I'm not saying it's right, in fact it's a quite naive standpoint but it's very understandable.

Again, it works both ways. At the same time, he also knows that his grandfather,.. we have the same pawpaw lol, while, he could not go a day without his 2 six packs of miller lite.. and that was a good day, and every once in a while he would get pissed off and curse everyone out for no particular reason, and he was never in what you would call a pleasant mood and one time he got so drunk he tried to shoot my dad with a shotgun while my dad was running down the street (true story)... while all that is very true , it's also true that.. he never had to borrow money from anyone, while he was an alcoholic, he was always around. if he had go somewhere he had no problem getting there, he never had to steal to support his habit, he never got so drunk where he blacked out and ended up in missouri or any **** like that.. in his mind, pawpaw is just a little crazy and likes to drink.

Now compare that to the one mental image that my little brother has of our uncle growing up, which ws the time he came into town to visit, and after a few days my father reluctantly let him stay at his house, only to come home and have everythign in the house that was not nailed to the ground, including cough syrup, gone. that's mental image you aren't going to shake. rightfully or wrongfully. in my brothers mind, whatever caused that, or what lead him to that, is a bad thing. if you tell him weed is the gateway drug to that, he's going to be gung ho about it.

in short, drugs, in particular weed, for unfair but understandable reasons get stuck with harder drugs by association. I mean I know that weed isn't going to send you to the crack house or make you a dope fiend, but **** i've been out there that's how i know. most people don't know nor particular want to know. most people know someone who has ruined their or someone's life because of drugs and at the same time, most people have a visual image of an alcoholic in their mind and that picture, is pretty much the same. I've seen, because i've been in rehab, drunks that are much worse than any drug addiction by a very wide margin, but not everyone sees that. everyone associates the drunk as the guy who talks too much but other than that, he just needs to cut back on his drinking. everyone sees or pictures the drug addict, as just that. someone who is taking/addicted to drugs and drugs ruins lives.

In short, the battle is not even a...logical one. it's not one about actual effects of drugs on the body. People aren't really saying that alcohol is better for you than drugs or cocaine. People are saying that, drugs ruin lives, alcohol, in most cases, even somewhat extreme, won't.

it's not fair, but there it is.

 

[Boilermaker]

drugs =bad.

Eloquently put.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Edit: BTW, it is not about the actual effects of marijuana on the body, is that right, Backbreaker? Here you go:

Psychological Effects of Marijuana

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the main effects of marijuana on mood vary and may include euphoria, calmness, anxiety, or paranoia. Getting high or "stoned" is the reason most pot smokers use marijuana.

Other short-term psychological effects of pot include:

Distorted sense of time
Paranoia
Magical or "random" thinking
Short-term memory loss
Anxiety and depression

Reference: http://bit.ly/D1fcG

Yeah, right. Last time, I drank a glass of Zin, I experienced all these effects! I must have gulped some serious sh!t.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Some people who smoke pot are self-medicating for a mental illness. I'm not saying that everyone who smokes pot has a mental illness. Just keep in mind that a good percentage do. Often these people don't even realize they have a mental illness. We're talking depression,BPD, and Schizophrenia here. The pot helps with the symptoms of the mental illness. So you may want to rephrase the question:" Do girls that have a mental illness make bad wife material?"

 

[Lexington]

I am a medical resident. Let me tell you about some of the bread and butter cases I see:

-Guy or gal comes in with excruciating abdominal pain located above the stomach that goes to his/her back along with nausea and vomiting. This one is so common that even a 3rd year med student can diagnose it in his sleep: pancreatitis. What caused it? Alcohol is the most common cause

-Middle aged to older guy or gal comes in smelling like **** and completely out of it. They have a huge, distended belly and chances are that their friends found them unresponsive somewhere. They've been admitted for this a bunch of times. What is it? Hepatic encephalopathy caused by booze.

-Middle aged person comes in vomiting up what looks like coffee-grounds. What caused it? Esophageal varices, which is a result of portal hypertension. What's the culprit? You guessed it: booze.

-A guy gets admitted for a routine surgery. Everything seems to be going okay. Then all of a sudden he starts vomiting and having seizures. He doesn't have any diagnosis of any seizure disorder. What's the cause? He's an alcoholic and he's having delirium tremens.

-A person comes in an obtunded state. The person's respirations are slowing down and he/she might even need to be intubated. He/she has pinpoint pupils. What caused it? Opiates. Many of which are legally prescribed and sold in the millions in this country.

-Someone comes in complaining of back pain. You check the chart to see they've been here a bunch of times for similar issues. You've done every test on them and their physical exam findings don't add up. What's the diagnosis? This person is addicted to opiates.

-A 26 year old girl comes in with chest pain. You do an EKG and you find out she's having a heart attack. Heart attacks almost never happen to menstrating females. What caused it? Coke.

-A middle aged woman has a nodule in her lung. It's already spread to nearby lymph nodes. A CT scan shows lesions on her brain. It's already spread there. She has a very poor prognosis. What is it? Small cell lung cancer. Most common cause? Smoking.

You know what I've never seen? I've never seen anyone admitted to the hospital for smoking pot. Not even once. There has never been a case of anyone OD'ing on pot. It's not even possible to become chemically dependent on pot.

There are lots of things that are red flags. But a girl doing a few tokes from time to time is not a major concern for me.

 

[st_99]

leaving the medical issues out of it, the bottom line question is, how do you enjoy a so called serious relationship when your girl is stoned out of her mind? Is she even really there? Or off in la la land, in which case, whats the point?

 

[Colossus]

Dude if it really bothers you, don't date her. Simple. I think youre making a bigger deal out of it than it really is, but if you are always going to perseverate on the weed thing then just don't date a girl who tokes.

 

[st_99]

Dude if it really bothers you, don't date her. Simple. I think youre making a bigger deal out of it than it really is, but if you are always going to perseverate on the weed thing then just don't date a girl who tokes.

yes, this is another bottom line, but just thought i'd get some opinions on the subject.

 

[origin138]

Once in a while is fine with me, every day (or even every other day) is a huge red flag and an immediate deal breaker.

If it's frequent use, we're not talking about a healthy individual, we're talking about someone who can't handle reality. The last thing I need in a LTR is a woman who can't handle the realities of life and resorts to self-medicating.

No thanks.

 

[Boilermaker]

You know what I've never seen? I've never seen anyone admitted to the hospital for smoking pot. Not even once. There has never been a case of anyone OD'ing on pot. It's not even possible to become chemically dependent on pot.

There are lots of things that are red flags. But a girl doing a few tokes from time to time is not a major concern for me.

Thank goodness we have google these days and we aren't easily fooled by so-called experts. Being a resident doesn't automatically make you an authority on the subject, and you are clearly, factually wrong:

http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/library/marijuana-overdose/

Some random hits on google scholar:

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=marijuana+toxicity&btnG=&hl=en&as_sdt=0,15

Some more info for the field expert, Backbreaker:

chronic marijuana use

http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=chronic+marijuana++use&btnG=&hl=en&as_sdt=0,15

Random article from the list:
Published: 2002, Citations: 274

Results: As joints smoked per week increased, performance decreased on tests measuring memory, executive functioning, psychomotor speed, and manual dexterity. When dividing the group into light, middle, and heavy user groups, the heavy group performed significantly below the light group on 5 of 35 measures and the size of the effect ranged from 3.00 to 4.20 SD units. Duration of use had little effect on neurocognitive performance.

Conclusions: Very heavy use of marijuana is associated with persistent decrements in neurocognitive performance even after 28 days of abstinence. It is unclear if these decrements will resolve with continued abstinence or become progressively worse with continued heavy marijuana use.

Random Article #2:http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/pha/8/4/483/

Current users experienced significant increases in anxiety, irritability, physical tension, and physical symptoms and decreases in mood and appetite during marijuana withdrawal. These symptoms were most pronounced during the initial 10 days of abstinence, but some were present for the entire 28-day withdrawal period. These findings support the notion of a marijuana withdrawal syndrome in humans. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)

Article #3 :
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/002432059500202H

The “amotivational syndrome” which has been associated with marijuana use has not been examined systematically in relation to marijuana use and mental health [...]
These data suggest that amotivational symptoms observed in heavy marijuana users in treatment are due to depression.

If that wasn't enough:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long-term_effects_of_cannabis

To those who claim it's not addictive:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabis_dependence

Only a minority of cannabis users seek medical help with addiction, but demand for treatment for cannabis use disorder is increasing internationally.[4]
Evidence for cannabis dependence comes from a number of sources including epidemiological surveys,[5][6][7][8] studies of long-term users,[9][10] clinical trials of people seeking treatment,[11][12][13] controlled experiments on withdrawal and tolerance [14][15][16] and laboratory studies on cannabis brain mechanisms.[17] Budney et al. state that "clinical and epidemiological studies indicate that cannabis dependence is a relatively common phenomenon associated with significant psychosocial abnormality [...]

from the same article, diagnostic criteria:

1)A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or the desired effect
2)A markedly diminished effect on the user with continued use of the same amount of the substance
(->)Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
3)Characteristic withdrawal symptoms from the substance, such as insomnia or difficulty falling asleep, cravings, restlessness, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, sweating, mood swings, raise in temperature, depression, irritability, and anger.[35]
4)The same or closely related substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms
5)The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended
6)There is a persistent desire to cut back or control substance use, or unsuccessful attempts to do so
7)Considerable time is spent obtaining the substance
8)Social, occupational or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of use of the substance
9)The substance is used despite knowledge of persistent or recurrent physical or psychological problems caused by the substance.

On its dependency:

Hall et al. conclude that around one in ten people who ever try cannabis will become dependent at some point.[49] For those who use cannabis several times the chance is increased from one in five to one in three and daily users are considered at the greatest risk of dependence with about a one in two chance

Nice rationalization all of you, congratulations. You can proceed to jerk yourselves off. It's nothing really. No big deal ; ) We get it!

 

[Lexington]

I've worked in a psych ward and I have seen pot trigger a lot of mental illness. Doesn't happen to everyone obviously but often enough to be wary.

I've done a few psych rotations. I've seen pot use associated with certain mental illnesses but the pot use itself was never a cause of a psych admission that I saw. I would like to know which specific mental illnesses you are talking about. As far as I know, there are no studies to indicate a causal relationship between pot use and mental illness.

We do know that alcohol can cause Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome and hepatic encephalopathy. But in all my years of medical training, I have never heard of a similar syndrome or illness caused by pot. But I could be wrong....maybe you can point some out to me.

 

[backbreaker]

I've done a few psych rotations. I've seen pot use associated with certain mental illnesses but the pot use itself was never a cause of a psych admission that I saw. I would like to know which specific mental illnesses you are talking about. As far as I know, there are no studies to indicate a causal relationship between pot use and mental illness.

We do know that alcohol can cause Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome and hepatic encephalopathy. But in all my years of medical training, I have never heard of a similar syndrome or illness caused by pot. But I could be wrong....maybe you can point some out to me.

that's wet brain isn't it?

alcohol also causes trimmers or DT's if the alcoholic has become addicted short of optiate withdrawals is the worst thing you can possibly have dealing with any drug. you can literally die if you try to wing yourself off drinking cold turkey if you don't do it right

 

[QuadDeuces]

Pot smokers are in general escapists, and so unhappy, dependable and easily addicted people.
Push and pull tactics in general work very well with these girls, although LTR I dont know, my mother always said, can you picture her a suitable mother of your future children? If no put her on the sideline.