Do girls really understand dry humour?

[The Truth]

I'll use Paul Merton as an example:

He's dressed as an airline pilot and is telling a story...

"You know, fog is the worst thing to happen to a pilot" (pauses) "Well actually, the worst thing to happen to a pilot is that he's eating a bowl of rice pudding and it suddenly turns into a leopard".

Like the OPs salad joke, it's a play on the figure of speech ("the worst thing..."), taking the literal meaning instead of the implied one.

Sorry that I didn't quote it verbatim.

 

[Grandmaster Sexay]

Sorry to drag this topic back out of the graveyard. Having been away for nearly two months, I've encountered a few moments that I couldn't resist but to post it here.

- When a female (a tourist) stopped me whilst cycling asking for directions to a particular location and whether she could make it, I remarked ''It goes without saying that the egg timer is slipping away....''

- When having a holiday in Tampa, Florida, I said to a young lady whilst inside a store looking for a new pair shorts (the forecast was miserable that day) ''It's a terribly good day, eh?'' And she responded looking bemused ''But, it's raining?''

- A friend and I were discussing about her business (printing service) as it wasn't doing so well.
''Unfortunately, last week I had to cut my workforce nearly by half to reduce the cost of spending''.
Me: ''I bet that was an expensive funeral to arrange''

- Said to a relative of mine in Harrods, London "Listen, someone’s screaming in agony, fortunately I speak it fluently."

- Accompanied with my G/F on the beach, and typically unused to the sizzling hot weather, she said in a lighthearted tone ''Love, that sun's really hot!'' to which I replied ''Well you shouldn't touch it''

 

[Ace of Flames]

Nothing in this thread is funny except for this:

One example, a few members of staff at a supermarket were telling me about problems with shrinkage (a financial term). I replied: "Yeah, I get that problem in the winter too".

I don't even think of that as dry humour. Its more of a play on words, taking 'shrinkage' and applying a different meaning. That's funny. Everything else in this thread is just kinda dumb.

- When a female (a tourist) stopped me whilst cycling asking for directions to a particular location and whether she could make it, I remarked ''It goes without saying that the egg timer is slipping away....''

That, for instance, isn't funny at all. Its even more ironic than its meant to be, because the "joke" is that she's wasting time asking you, but in reality, you're wasting even more of her time by making a bad joke and not just telling her what she needs to know.

- When having a holiday in Tampa, Florida, I said to a young lady whilst inside a store looking for a new pair shorts (the forecast was miserable that day) ''It's a terribly good day, eh?'' And she responded looking bemused ''But, it's raining?''

This isn't dry humour either. You were being sarcastic, and the girl was just too dumb to realize it.

- A friend and I were discussing about her business (printing service) as it wasn't doing so well.
''Unfortunately, last week I had to cut my workforce nearly by half to reduce the cost of spending''.
Me: ''I bet that was an expensive funeral to arrange''

This could have been funny if she had said something like "I killed off half my workforce...", or something else that implies death.

- Said to a relative of mine in Harrods, London "Listen, someone’s screaming in agony, fortunately I speak it fluently."

I get it, but its not funny. You're acting like 'agony' is a language. Whoopdie do. If someone said that to me in person, it would just flop.

- Accompanied with my G/F on the beach, and typically unused to the sizzling hot weather, she said in a lighthearted tone ''Love, that sun's really hot!'' to which I replied ''Well you shouldn't touch it''

I only like this one because he's teasing his gf. In any other context, I'd just say "Well duh!", which I imagine is what she thought as well.


Just so you guys can lay the blame on something, let it be known that I am American.

 

[Grandmaster Sexay]

I don't even think of that as dry humour. Its more of a play on words, taking 'shrinkage' and applying a different meaning. That's funny. Everything else in this thread is just kinda dumb.

In your way of humour, it doesn't cease to amaze me. I take the view that, funny is an inconsistent word to imply on all kind of humours. Read back at previous comments in the thread and you'll see why. Ignoring the specifics, maybe humour, likewise, is in the eye of the beholder, but I'd tell you to get it out with optrex.

That, for instance, isn't funny at all. Its even more ironic than its meant to be, because the "joke" is that she's wasting time asking you, but in reality, you're wasting even more of her time by making a bad joke and not just telling her what she needs to know.

In reality, she couldn't make it given her description, hence the ''egg timer slips away''. Like most tourists, they are always facing the wrong direction. At least the right direction was of much use.

This could have been funny if she had said something like "I killed off half my workforce...", or something else that implies death.

Not necessarily. Keep it subtle, not exaggerated.

Just so you guys can lay the blame on something, let it be known that I am American.

I would like to thank your encouragement for admitting it.

 

[depeche101]

The early sight-gag movies "Flying High! / Airplane!" and "The Naked Gun" used dry humour similar to your "Salad?" "Yes, it is", such as when a cigarette was being offered: "Cigarette?" "Yes it is".

Black Adder contains some brilliant dry humour. In Black Adder II "Chains" episode, Edmund Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson) & Melchett (Stephen Fry) were kidnapped and about to be tortured. Melchett tries to remain positive, suggesting they play a pleasant word game. "Yes, alright", counters Bladders, "construct a sentence from the following words: face, sodding, your, shut".

I was buying groceries recently, including a couple microwave meals that supposedly contained real meat. The checkout girl held one up and said "I didn't know these had meat in them", I quickly replied "I think one did but it was recalled".

I personally appreciate dry humour but wouldn't have thought that females were less prone to enjoying it than males.

 

[florida21386]

Here's one

I used to date a midget girl. Man, I was nuts over her.

 

[Black Circle]

In the U.S, it donsen't matter who the dry humor is being used on, your just gonna look snobish and stuck up and just plain stupid.

 

[crossboss]

It seems, from my experience, most females (usually the Amercians) do not grasp the amusing side of dry humour. As some would know, the British tend to comprehend that particular humour better.

For example, having encountered many girls, tend to look bemused, at odds or lost when I give the expression of dry humour on their receiving end.

Take this:

The most amusing part I find is, when one that gets the "uhhh" reaction.

Sitting at the dinner table a girl passes me a dish of salad and says "salad?"

I reply "yes it is".

Rarely do they laugh at this.

A girl and I were discussing Grace Kelly.

Girl (an american): "Yes she was a wonderful and beautiful actress"
Me "not much of a motorist though"

Lastly, three of my favourite one-liners

"Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning".

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."

"I don't mind dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

A person once said ''Sarcasm and dry humour in the US is often used as a passive-aggressive method to insult others, rather than as a vehicle for humor strictly for humor's sake as is the case in the UK''

Really, the question is, do girls really understand dry humour? I know there's cultural differences, but to me, they seem too fastidious to see the funny side of it.

You need to work on joke expansion. The joke with salad points out she was asking in the wrong way. However, it isn't obvious in the way that she would get it. Idea is too add to the joke.

Ex: Girl: Salad?
You: No, it is actually a bunch of dead leaves, that I took from my lawn.

Although this joke might not have been great, at least you made it that she could understand it.

Also the joke on Grace Kelly, add value to the joke. Try doing a woman impression, saying how she probably screams each time she see's a squirrel, and how you are surprised she isn't dead.

 

[diceman]

From most of the replies this thread has got.. I take it subtlety isn't one of America's greatest customs.

Check out these great examples of dry humour..

Woman: If you were my husband i'd poison your drink!
Man: If you were my wife, i'd drink it.


Woman: Will you do me the honour of making an apperance at my party next tuesday?
Man: Sorry my dear, but i'm affraid i'm unavailable due to a subsequent engagement.

Subtle, elogent, & most of all, truely witty.

 

[crossboss]

Make the joke funnier.

Sorry to drag this topic back out of the graveyard. Having been away for nearly two months, I've encountered a few moments that I couldn't resist but to post it here.

- When a female (a tourist) stopped me whilst cycling asking for directions to a particular location and whether she could make it, I remarked ''It goes without saying that the egg timer is slipping away....''

- When having a holiday in Tampa, Florida, I said to a young lady whilst inside a store looking for a new pair shorts (the forecast was miserable that day) ''It's a terribly good day, eh?'' And she responded looking bemused ''But, it's raining?''

- A friend and I were discussing about her business (printing service) as it wasn't doing so well.
''Unfortunately, last week I had to cut my workforce nearly by half to reduce the cost of spending''.
Me: ''I bet that was an expensive funeral to arrange''

- Said to a relative of mine in Harrods, London "Listen, someone’s screaming in agony, fortunately I speak it fluently."

- Accompanied with my G/F on the beach, and typically unused to the sizzling hot weather, she said in a lighthearted tone ''Love, that sun's really hot!'' to which I replied ''Well you shouldn't touch it''

****ty weather, say "Well today looks like a good day to take nice tan on the beach, you never know, (If you are white), I might end up looking like Osama Bin Laden, by the end of today."

 

[Sin Verdad]

Most girls aren't smart enough to understand my sense of humor. I usually get mad at how stupid they are unless I'm in a good mood though. The girls that are smart enough think I'm the funniest guy ever to live though so it just depends on the girls that are good enough.

 

[The Juan and only]

I prefer dry humour over soggy humour any day. Sadly it's not the kind of thing that'll get chicks wet.

That aside, one of my favourite dry jokes is the "and also" routine. Works with pretty much anything. A few silly examples to illustrate:

you: "do you wanna blah blah?"
girl: "ok, let's do it!"
you: "ok if you're that desperate.....and also let's blah blah"

friend: "how was your study date with shelly. did you manage to revise for the test?"
you: "well, it was really hard.....and also the maths was quite difficult"

friend: "oh man, how are we gonna get the college to unblock that sosuave site?"
you: "I'll have sex with one of the IT staff...........and also maybe doing something about unblocking the site"

Essentially, you take the previous sentence out of context, but in a way that it still makes logical sense. yea, I know those were silly examples but you could do worse.

However, a deadpan delivery is very important with this type of humour. If you laugh or even smirk then the impact will be lost - so, if you can deliver any joke in a totally deadpan manner, then you're sorted imo.

p.s good job on this thread. made me laugh

 

[ValleyDJing]

Thats cause most girls are too stupid to understand it. Personally I love to drive people crazy with it. Dry humor is basically sarcasm and one liners. To people that get it...its not so much funny as it makes them realize you're just being goofy and trying to amuse yourelf. Yeah thats it, imo, dry humor is used more to amuse yourself than others, thats why girls don't find it funny.

 

[ValleyDJing]

The girls that are smart enough think I'm the funniest guy ever to live though so it just depends on the girls that are good enough.

bingo! Thats what I meant to say in my last post. Only people who are smart enough to get it will think dry humor funny. And usually they will think that its the funniest type of humor as well because they know it takes intelligence and wit to use it. Dry humor isn't made up to make people laugh, dry humor is a gift. Either you have it or you don't. You're not supposed to think up dry humor, you're supposed to use it on the spur of the moment without thinking. It just has to pop out of you like thats what you would say in any situation and you weren't trying to make anyone laugh at it. And I'll just reiterate what I said earlier, its more for your own amusement than anyone else's. My mom's side of the family gets it very well. I drive my mom absolutely crazy :crazy: with it she gets so irritated with me but in a funny way and my sister even knows when I'm gonna use it before I use it because of this twinkle that apparently appears in my eye befor I do. However, my Dad's side of the family is always like huh and takes me seriously. You just have to be born with it. If you don't get it or don't think its funny, you probably never will.

 

[Centaurion]

I am TEH MASTAH of dry jokes.

My humour is so dry that it would make sahara look wet. Seriously.

Dry jokes springled with sarcasm is my speciality. I don't have any examples now, as they would sound really stupid because you just can't write down jokes. The timing, the place, your facial expression, your tone and a dozen other things plays in when delivering a joke. Most chicks don't get my dry jokes, while the guys (the ones that have some brain and humour) are usually pooping themselves from laughing so hard.

Valley pretty much summed it up.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Ok, something is weird. I totally get dry humour. I use it myself from time to time. Everyone in this thread who gives their own examples of dry humour, I find funny. When they explain their views on it, I agree.

But when I read something from the OP, its just.... blah. So I've concluded, Grandmaster Sexay just isn't very funny. ^_^

 

[mrRuckus]

I say some really weird things. Sometimes people look at me funny and say "what?" But i can say the same thing to another group of people and they'll think it's really funny.

The thing about dry humor is that you can't just type it and give examples of it because everyone is going to sit there and be like "that's not funny." No it usually isn't funny in itself.. it's funny in the context of it... or in the timing of it.

I use humor like this to tease girls. You use the type of humor with that salad joke on a girl all night it builds up tension and if she's intelligent at all she'll be laughing. It's not meant to be hilarious. Sometimes it will come off as rude but if you're warm or the person already knows you they'll realize it's just giving them a hard time.

I have noticed that around a girl that's worse looking than you (me) she'll take it more offensively, most likely it's that she wants to be offended and justify that she can't get you because you're an ass rather than because you wouldn't want her even if she threw herself at you.

 

[Grandmaster Sexay]

Check out these great examples of dry humour..

Woman: If you were my husband i'd poison your drink!
Man: If you were my wife, i'd drink it.

Ah, the great Sir Winston Churchill. Additionally, he used to say '' I may be drunk Ma'am, but in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly''. And....

''I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me''

I have to say, it's been a rather good thread. Reading such opinions from different viewpoints have painted a clear picture of how we comprehend and express our personalise humour.

It's difficult not to chuckle or smirk when giving a true dry delivery knowing that this will have your shoulders moving, regardless of whether they get it or not. Quite rightly, as one here observed, it's used predominantly for self-amusement, and that is up my street. No doubt, it's an art to master a deadpan delivery. You've either got it, or you haven't.

I am not a fellow that comes across to generate an obvious atmosphere that will be liked by most. Subtlety, wit, irony and sarcasm are all attributes to a perfect dry delivery. To those that live Britain, read the ''Private Eye'' - A true satirical magazine.

Some say that I come across to be slightly paranoid. But, I always inform them that ''Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me''

 

[AAA]

You can say that about anything. You can speak Chinese and think your so smart as everybody makes fun of you in English.

The bottomline is if you TRY to make a joke and nobody laughs your the one who failed. You can think your as smart as you want to but stating that a salad is a salad in hopes of people laughing is in noway proving it.

Same as Japanese I guess. I don't think their English is of any mentionable standard either.

You don't TRY, you DO. Nobody laughs means they have no sense of humour. And don't put nobody when it's just you, ****wad.

Obviously there is a thing within a thing, and if you can't grow mentally beyond one-dimensionality that is your lack of humour and your problem, not anyone else's.

No cure for your natural stupidity either.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Wow, way to resurrect an old thread from the graveyard.

I feel compelled to comment on the salad joke, though. Here's what would have worked:

Her: Salad?

You: Yes, this is salad. [Picks up salt shaker] "This is salt", [Picks up plate] "And this is a plate. I can see I have so much to teach you."

It puts you in a dominant position and appeals to the American sense of humor. The simple, "Yes it is" just isn't enough for this scenario. As an aside, girls like it when you cause them to stumble into an exchange where you're implying yor intellectual superiority.

Remember, a woman MUST have a man who she sees as superior to her. She can have it no other way. Little jokes like this go a long way toward that end.