do girls expect more from us guys than we guys expect from them? who expects more?

initiatorhater06

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Do you think girls expect more out of guys than guys expect out of girls? are girls looking for a lot more in a boyfriend than a guy is looking for in a girlfriend? Like, girls expect us guys to do more things than us guys expect girls to do things? In my opinion, I would have to say yes, the list of qualities that girls look for in a potential boyfriend is insanely ridiculously longer than the list of qualities that us guys look for in a potential girlfriend. Overall, would you say it's harder for us guys to be a good boyfriend than it is for girls to be a good girlfriend?
 

initiatorhater06

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Because girls don't want a boy, they want a "MAN", and becoming a "MAN" is not something that happens overnight, and being a "MAN" is never easy, a "MAN" must do a lot of this and a lot of that, have all of this or all of that, etc. Us guys, if we want to become a "MAN", we have to walk, talk, think, sit, stand, breathe a certain way, we have to have high social status, the right social skills, the right conversation skills, the right attitude, the right mentality, the right way of thinking, the right confidence, the right body language, it's like a guy's success with girls all comes down to the words and sentences that come out of his mouth. Girls, Women however, they just have to be born cute and look good, be pretty, thats all. Here is what I read about what this guy wrote on what a Real "MAN" is:

"Women want real men but in today’s society that is damn hard to find. Women have lost faith, respect, trust and especially ATTRACTION for the mamma’s boys that walk the streets today-ones who should be checking female on their physical form instead of male.

Most “men” haven’t the slightest clue on how to be a man who does it for her and himself. So, what is a real man?

The only quality that separates a man from a boy is courage-that’s it. The willingness and courage to push past fears, obstacles, resistance etc is what makes a man. All other qualities that come to mind when you think of what a REAL man is only come as a result of having courage.

A man is honest. Without courage you can’t be honest because honesty isn’t always the popular choice. When you are completely honest you run the risk of losing many things including friends, family, jobs and WOMEN.

People are basically full of **** and will lie to you and themselves all day long. Whenever they meet someone who is completely honest it scares the crap out of them because they fear that this person might reveal to them something they didn’t want to admit to themselves.

Whether it be a fear, insecurity, judgment of themselves and so on, meeting an honest person is not something they want to do because they don’t have the courage to be honest in the first place.

I can’t count how many friends and women I have lost when I made the choice to completely honest with myself and others.

People generally lie for two reasons:

1. To hold onto something they don’t want to lose

2. Not lose the possibility of gaining something

So you might lie to your girlfriend about watching porn because you don’t want to lose her or you might tell a date that you drive a BMW 500 series and that it’s in the shop because you don’t want to lose out on getting the girl.

People lie because they are scared of losing or scared of not getting but it’s all based in FEAR. To be completely honest you must have the courage to push past that fear, to say **** it and do it anyways.

All fears are illusions, they aren’t real. You might feel them completely, the nervousness, the shaky hands but they aren’t real. Every time after you push past a fear and your heart rate calms down you ALWAYS think “that wasn’t that bad, what the hell was I scared of?”

A man is confident. Confidence doesn’t come from NLP, Hypnosis, of any other emotional balancing system. Those things definitely HELP but they will never work as well as having courage. Every time you push past a fear you gain confidence. Why?

The mind/ego is a fear producing machine. It loves to keep you nice and scared because it will have the greatest control over you. Control is how the ego gets fed and survives. If it were to lose all control over you, you would no longer have an ego.

Every time you push past an illusion based fear the ego/mind loses its control over you and you gain more confidence. Your insecure and doubtful thoughts no longer have as great of a pull because you realize that fear is an illusion.

Identifying with the mind and the thoughts that it produces is why you are insecure and not confident in the first place.

A man is strong. A woman needs to know that you are stronger than her and can protect her if the situation calls for it. If you aren’t strong, she will know and test you until she has completely lost ALL attraction for you.

Strength comes from having the courage to push past fears and to be able to withstand rough times. This lifestyle is not an easy one. On this path you will be met with many difficult situations that will bring you down.

The weak ones stay down, the strong get back up and keep going.

Pushing through difficult, sometimes painful situations enough times will allow you to build massive confidence in yourself. You will know on a deep level that no matter how bad a situation gets you will be able to go through it and survive.

Women will pick up on this and they will just know who they are dealing with.

A man takes charge and takes control of his life. Women are attracted to men who take life by the balls and get things done. You can’t wait around for your life to magically become perfect or for a playboy model to knock down your door and demand to give you a blow job. You need to be the one to make things happen.

“Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease or women.”-David Deida

In order to take the reins of your own life you must not be a victim to the world and take full response-ability for it. You must not make excuses and blame others for how your life is. This requires massive amounts of courage to do.

Most people don’t take full response-ability for their lives because it scares them too much. If they take control of their lives and failed they would have no one to blame but themselves.

The thought of failure is too much for most people to bare so they point their finger to the outside world for their own shortcomings and hide in their excuses. A man never hides from his fears and never makes excuses.

A man is fearless. Well this isn’t exactly true. It might appear that he is fearless because he has become comfortable being scared and pushing through that fear but he still feels it from time to time.

The difference is that he feels this fear and doesn’t let it cripple him. He actively seeks out his own fears and conquers them to the point where there are few or none left inside of him.

A man knows who he is and what he wants. To know who you are you must have the courage to look WITHIN for the answers. Looking inward for the truth can be a scary thing to do. Most people avoid being honest with themselves for fear that they might find something they didn’t want to.

It’s not your insecurities, fears and doubts that take you down, it’s you inability to recognize them and to become aware of them that hurts you the most. When you become aware of something it no longer has the ability to run your life. Take time to sit down and think about what your strengths, weaknesses, fears and doubts are.

Also, take time to think about what you want out of life and what you want to get from getting good with women.

Do you want a girlfriend?

Just get this part of your life handled?

Sleep with a 1,000 women?

Figure out what it is you want for yourself, NOT what someone else wants but what YOU desire. Most people haven’t the slightest idea what they want out of life so they go with what everyone else wants-”he seems happy, let me try to get what he has”

For more on figuring out what you want to do with your life I suggest reading my article on How to Find and Live Your Mission:

A man is a leader. Here is a quote from a post I wrote about being a leader:

“A TRUE LEADER leads without needing any follows. He doesn’t mind if people go in the direction that HE CHOOSES but he DOESN’T NEED them to because he would do it anyways. He knows what he wants in life and doesn’t care if people want to go down that direction. He doesn’t manipulate or control them into going where he wants to go, he simply goes WITHOUT PERMISSION from others. ”

Courage comes down to a choice that you make. It’s the same choice that everyone else has. The choice to take full response-ability to do something about your life or sit in the corner sucking your thumb waiting for success to come knocking on your door.

The choice to not let fear cripple you or let it destroy everything you desire in life.

The choice to be a man or not. NO ONE is born a man, they make the choice to be one.

So what do you chose?"

See all the work us guys have to do to become or be a "MAN"? A girl just has to be cute and look good, thats all, of course I know that it is not as easy I or you think, because obviously not every girl is hot or cute, but for the hot and cute, pretty girls, if they are born cute and good-looking, thats pretty much all they need in order to be girlfriend material, but what I listed above is what all of us guys have to be or do in order to be boyfriend material.
 

catman

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Your rite on the money and a damn good writer!! Its always easier to spot other peoples flaws than it is to spot your own. I have always been brutely honest and never put things in a politicaly correct way.Most people i come in contact with especially at work dont want to listen to what i have to say.But the ones who do listen and actually believe what im telling them usually become close friends.They in turn start to point out other things that i have overlooked and actually start to point out some of my flaws and i continue to do the same with them?We begin to feed off each other and trying to improve are lives together.Most women however do not like me calling them out.If i find a women who does im going to keep her:up:
 

oscarxp25

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Being a man is hard work. You are right, pretty girls have it easy. I like being a man who is not the most good looking guy. I have to work for a girl I like and it makes it better when I get her.
 

Trader

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initiatorhater06 said:
Do you think girls expect more out of guys than guys expect out of girls? are girls looking for a lot more in a boyfriend than a guy is looking for in a girlfriend? Like, girls expect us guys to do more things than us guys expect girls to do things? In my opinion, I would have to say yes, the list of qualities that girls look for in a potential boyfriend is insanely ridiculously longer than the list of qualities that us guys look for in a potential girlfriend. Overall, would you say it's harder for us guys to be a good boyfriend than it is for girls to be a good girlfriend?
Girls expect more out of guys, than vice-versa

As an exercise, I will leave it to you to figure out why
 

initiatorhater06

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In my opinion, it is so much easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend. I also hate this double-standard, if a guy says that he needs or wants a girlfriend to complete his life, it makes him look weak and desperate, but it's okay for a girl to need and want a boyfriend to complete her life, like it's okay for a girl to need a boyfriend to validate her existence, but not okay for a guy to need a girlfriend to validate his existence.
 

Poonani Maker

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initiatorhater06, you are teaching me, brother, go on...We men only ask for them to spread their legs and perform the sexual positions we'd like them to perform, my favorite being the 7th posture because I can go on for quite a while in that position, in doggie I just have to pull out (on a tight one) or I'll most definitely come. Women on the other hand, want you to take the lead in EVERY arena. Your job is to lead them into taking their clothes off. She will bend and she will break, but if you waffle, she will waffle. You must be firm and ****tatorial and take the lead always.
 

initiatorhater06

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Yeah, I don't like being the one to take the lead all the time, I like it to be equal, 50-50, I wish more women would ask men out on first dates and initiate conversations, flirting, etc. But oh well, it's just how it is.
 

Falcon25

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initiatorhater06 said:
Yeah, I don't like being the one to take the lead all the time, I like it to be equal, 50-50, I wish more women would ask men out on first dates and initiate conversations, flirting, etc. But oh well, it's just how it is.
You will never be successful with women if you think like this. This is how women think. Wake the fuvk up. It is nature for the male to chase a female. In every country, tribe, region, religion, and maybe even upstairs.
 

jophil28

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If you, as a man, believe that women have higher or more expectations, then perhaps you need to examine why that is. Women seem to have extensive 'laundry lists'.

Are you clear about the style, qualities and behaviors that you want in a contender ? Do you understand your own position on morality, ethics, loyalty, sincerity, submission and committment from a woman ?
The point I am making is this - if you have lesser expectations and lower or no standards, then you are entirely remiss in not compiling such a list.

You cannot expect women to live up to expectations that you do not have, can you?
 

initiatorhater06

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yeah you are right, I don't like it, I wish it was both genders chasing eachother but I can deal with it and accept it
 

initiatorhater06

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"You will never be successful with women if you think like this. This is how women think. Wake the fuvk up. It is nature for the male to chase a female. In every country, tribe, region, religion, and maybe even upstairs"

yeah you are right, I don't like it, I wish it was both genders chasing eachother but I can deal with it and accept it
 

Falcon25

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You don't have to like it, just play the game. Just initiate, then she will chase you once you practice self control, and not let emotions get the best of you. A perfect example is the show "Bachelorrette", watch how guys cry over a girl that is a complete stranger to them. Guys fall in love easy, don't fall in love easy. Always be aggressive but then pull back once you got her. Peace.
 

initiatorhater06

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Falcon25 said:
You don't have to like it, just play the game. Just initiate, then she will chase you once you practice self control, and not let emotions get the best of you. A perfect example is the show "Bachelorrette", watch how guys cry over a girl that is a complete stranger to them. Guys fall in love easy, don't fall in love easy. Always be aggressive but then pull back once you got her. Peace.
Another thing I hate too is double-standards, well I'm sure girls hate the double-standard on how us guys can sleep with as many girls as we want and we do not get frowned upon for doing it, like it's okay, but for a girl sleeping with a lot of guys it is the oppossite, she gets called a ***** or a Slut. I am against all double-standards, but the one I hate the most which hurts us guys. If us guys want or need a girlfriend badly, it makes us look weak and desperate, and that obviously turns girls off instantly, but if a girl needs and wants a boyfriend badly, it's okay. It's like it's okay for a girl to need or want a boyfriend to complete her life, to validate her existence, but it's not okay for us guys to need or want a girlfriend to complete our life, to validate our existence.
 

CuriousGirl

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initiatorhater06 said:
Another thing I hate too is double-standards, well I'm sure girls hate the double-standard on how us guys can sleep with as many girls as we want and we do not get frowned upon for doing it, like it's okay, but for a girl sleeping with a lot of guys it is the oppossite, she gets called a ***** or a Slut. I am against all double-standards, but the one I hate the most which hurts us guys. If us guys want or need a girlfriend badly, it makes us look weak and desperate, and that obviously turns girls off instantly, but if a girl needs and wants a boyfriend badly, it's okay. It's like it's okay for a girl to need or want a boyfriend to complete her life, to validate her existence, but it's not okay for us guys to need or want a girlfriend to complete our life, to validate our existence.
I don't think anyone should feel they need a partner to validate their existence. Also, I'd say women want to be on the same level, if they want a long-term relationship with you then they'll want you to want one too. And if you are generally talking about women and say "I'm looking for something more serious these days" I'm very sure that doesn't come across as desperate. Especially as a lot of women want the same, they read that as a feeling you have in common, not "oh, how desperate". So they'll just feel a little closer to you in that regard, like when you are chatting to a stranger and you find out you both love doing the same thing or support the same sports team or whatever, immediately a link is made.

In regards to the thread topic, women do usually have it easier in the initial chase, and it's a comfortable position to be in if I'm honest, I'm not complaining. But for a relationship women ask for more if they are looking for more, and I'd say they expect the vice-versa. I don't think women feel they are asking for much either. The classic example is 'opening-up', if you're in a relationship she'll probably do it automatically, maybe even before you're in a relationship, and she expects you to do the same back. And she doesn't feel that's asking for much at all, it's just reciprocating...but for some guys that is asking a lot. I've got two friends who are dating, and they are in that position. He has always been like that with people and he likes it that way, but she's reading it like he's not reciprocating opening up because he's not as serious about her as she is him.
 

initiatorhater06

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CuriousGirl said:
I don't think anyone should feel they need a partner to validate their existence. Also, I'd say women want to be on the same level, if they want a long-term relationship with you then they'll want you to want one too. And if you are generally talking about women and say "I'm looking for something more serious these days" I'm very sure that doesn't come across as desperate. Especially as a lot of women want the same, they read that as a feeling you have in common, not "oh, how desperate". So they'll just feel a little closer to you in that regard, like when you are chatting to a stranger and you find out you both love doing the same thing or support the same sports team or whatever, immediately a link is made.

In regards to the thread topic, women do usually have it easier in the initial chase, and it's a comfortable position to be in if I'm honest, I'm not complaining. But for a relationship women ask for more if they are looking for more, and I'd say they expect the vice-versa. I don't think women feel they are asking for much either. The classic example is 'opening-up', if you're in a relationship she'll probably do it automatically, maybe even before you're in a relationship, and she expects you to do the same back. And she doesn't feel that's asking for much at all, it's just reciprocating...but for some guys that is asking a lot. I've got two friends who are dating, and they are in that position. He has always been like that with people and he likes it that way, but she's reading it like he's not reciprocating opening up because he's not as serious about her as she is him.
I'm glad a girl actually admits that she thinks that it's easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend, because it's the truth, it's reality, my friend who is a guy, here is what he said about love, dating, and relationships, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc. "Love just comes to girls, us guys have to fight tooth and nail for it"
 

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initiatorhater06 said:
Do you think girls expect more out of guys than guys expect out of girls? are girls looking for a lot more in a boyfriend than a guy is looking for in a girlfriend? Like, girls expect us guys to do more things than us guys expect girls to do things? In my opinion, I would have to say yes, the list of qualities that girls look for in a potential boyfriend is insanely ridiculously longer than the list of qualities that us guys look for in a potential girlfriend. Overall, would you say it's harder for us guys to be a good boyfriend than it is for girls to be a good girlfriend?
Girls definitely expect more out of guys than vice versa because they can. Women, in general, get WAY more offers than men do. So, they can afford to be more choosy. It's kind of like the job market in the US right now. Employers can be extremely choosy when they receive 200 resumes (CVs) for one position. (I'm making that number up, but you see my point.)
 

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i'm going to say men expect more from women.

because the avg women doesn't have a clue what oneitis is. oneitis is nothing more than built up expectations.

when you have oneitis you expect this woman to be this beauty queen and you throw on her all these traits she might or might not have, and most if not all can't live up to them

i remember my old oneitis, i thought she was smart, classy, beautiful (she was smoking hot i'll give her that, but that's all she was), i thought she'd make a good wife one day, just everything. in reality she was / is none of that. she's horrible with money, she's a bad lay,s he's not that smart, she's a goldgigger. because i became so infatuated with her i threw on her all these things that i precieved the girl of my dreams would be, that she was not.

i was heart broken because i thought i'd never find another woman like her. if that's not high expectations i don't know what is.

women generally don't do that. generally. women are more pragmatic when it comes to dating then an AFC man is, and most men are horrid AFC's.

women will want you back becuase her friends think you are hot, becuase you can give her a good life, because you are a helliafied lay, but i have never met a woman in my life that did not think they would ever find those qualities in another man again.

you see that in every other post here from newbs. my girl is different. she is the exception.
 

zekko

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women will want you back becuase her friends think you are hot, becuase you can give her a good life, because you are a helliafied lay, but i have never met a woman in my life that did not think they would ever find those qualities in another man again.
Good point. Maybe it's because women are more social than men. This gives them a wider perspective of the world from a social standpoint. They have an abundance mentality, because they KNOW there are a lot of other guys out there. And because they get hit on a lot.
 
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