Originally posted by MysteryWoman:
DJ Smooth
My experience of English men is that they don't ask me out. In the past I have had to initiate most dates, which now I refuse because it is too much hard work being left to control the relationship.
Even if I give them signals, they will look stare, smile, get nervous, for an outrageous long period of time. But no they still won't approach me. I get asked out more by foreign guys. How am I suppose to respect English men because of this?
you know, i definitely feel for u there, seriously. i was at this 'adult' ish club one night and what i saw was just so twisted. all these women dancing alone on the dance floor and all the guys standing around, shuffling their feet. every once in a while one girl would pull a guy out on the dancefloor and he'd be happy. it was pathetic. i live in the UK, but i'm not english.
i think there r still real men out there, maybe foreigners, but it just makes me feel sad how women r sometimes FORCED to initiate, cuz of the AFC guys.
a lot of the discussion here is about approaches, like in a store or restaurant. would u share with us your experience of that? if a confident, well-dresses/groomed man approached u in a store, how would u react - would u still feel too weird that it was in public and u didn't know him - would u give out your number there? your input would be appreciated.
Fistral, yes - your advice is solid. i've also found that UK girls are easier to
'be-friend' when u see them several times, indeed, like in a gym or some classes.
the girls in the street/store will smile at u and giggle if there's several of them - i actually find it easier to approach groups if it's in a store/street. it's a little bit weird, they'll smile or whatever, but when u approach, it's like 'u stalker'. not always, but some pretty inhibited girls here in the UK.
to be honest i haven't tried that many approaches in the street/store with one girl involved. however, i can say that if there's a certain waitress, cashier worker in a restaurant and store, then visiting that particular place can help to build a 'relationship' with the girl, gain more trust and then number closing is easier.
there r a few other PU places where it is possible to number close straight away, without seeing her several times. one is the park - it's much easier with a group of guys and girls. too bad the weather is so s.hit that this is only possible in summer-time and spring.
also, swimming pools - i dunno, maybe it's because u already have something in common - u both like swimming or that it's a limited area and she can't 'get away'.
and other sports stuff like at tennis courts - i've had success there - the old 'i've lost all my tennis balls, can we borrow some of yours' (girls have approached me with this several times)
again, having a common interest helps break the ice and opens up a def possibility to number close on first meeting.
and for these reason, i think it's really important to have lot's of aquaintances - girls and guys to introduce u to others.
so mostly, i agree with u Fistral - it rings true for a lot of UK DJs
PS (mystery woman, please share)