jakethasnake
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double post
Do Chicks Dig The Confident Loner?
- Thread starter quakerstate
- Start date
jakethasnake
Master Don Juan
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Cheer up man. Being an introvert is no reason to feel bad about yourself. Introverts in general tend to be deeper thinkers, more profound in personality and scope. Coz we don't get to express our feelings so freely, it makes to create art, make philosophies, be creative... etc. So don't fret.
Personally, I quite like being introverted (not always, but more so). I like calm, people who seem stable. The crazy extrovert/party animal like Stiffler or Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder get tiring after a while, and you end up despising them for being so damn annoying.
Personally, I quite like being introverted (not always, but more so). I like calm, people who seem stable. The crazy extrovert/party animal like Stiffler or Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder get tiring after a while, and you end up despising them for being so damn annoying.
myfriendblu
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I agree there. Good info. I think the better looking a guy is, and how good his DJ skills are, will give some leeway into not having a huge social circle. That being said, I still agree 100 percent with what starman said.Originally posted by jakethasnake
Bro..... forget all that mumbo-jumbo after the first paragraph.
You just said it yourself -- YOU ARE GOOD-LOOKING. That means you can get away with all the brooding, Marlon Brando-wannabe loner stuff.
PS: I do sympathize with all your past trauma and don't mean to minimize your inner strength and qualities, but the ONLY THING that matters is that you're good looking enough to get away with it.
CASE CLOSED.
jakethesnake, I agree with you, it's sad but true. An attractive guy who is sort of a loner is an instant attractor for women, but I still think that he has to be somewhat Jekyll/Hyde in that he will need to sometimes be open and sometimes sort of be more reserved and sort of just busy.
At work right now I work with some women who are totally flirting with me and are always trying to get my attention. Some of them are married, and some have BFs, but they're still flirty with me, but not other guys. I can be pretty talkative sometimes, but when I talk, I usually am C+F and make them laugh, then they talk to me, but I'll listen, and just be busy working at the same time, sort of like I'm preoccupied, but then I'll look up and have very good eye contact with them sporadically just to make them sort of stumble with their words, which is fun, and I'll just be very comfortable not talking to anyone if I want. People see this, and it reeks of confidence and independence. Eye contact is magic for me, because I've gotten extremely good at it. Having great eye contact but appearing like a loner gives a good Jekyll/Hyde image, since the eye contact shows confidence, and the loner attitude creates mystery.
I think the key is to make sure that people know that you have a side of you that's outgoing and fun to be around, but you're not like that way all the time. They will then try to work to bring that side out of you that they like, but you will be that way whenever you want, putting you under control. That, to me, is the successful loner.
A1SteakSauce
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guys,
there is a saying that it's not what you know but who you know. but it's not quite right. it's really who knows you.
my best times were in college where tons of people like myself knew me. we were all way to f'ing smart, worked way to f'ing hard in high school, didn't really give a sh1t about the cool kids, so we had good times together. since then, it turns out real life is more like high school...
but the interesting thing is, a lot of these guys who were hardcore "loners" -- who spent 12 hours a day programming, doing math, reading books, etc. -- aren't any more. not b/c they got so gregarious. but b/c they got so damn interesting. they have fascinating jobs, brilliant ideas, great connections, b/c of what they did with themselves in their free time. ppl want them on around b/c it's interesting.
just ask yourself, if you meet a guy who sells shoes, do you really want him over for dinner? f- no, b/c who cares about a shoe guy! you know exactly what he does all day long. but what if he sells shoes to pay for sailing in the america's cup? suddenly, you're setting the table. if you're a women, anyway
so i think all the loner types -- myself included -- have to work hard to make themselves interesting. do sh1t besides the internet. ppl always think the still water runs deep. don't disappoint 'em. in real life it's not who you know, it's who knows you, and who knows what you know, if you know what i mean.
A1
there is a saying that it's not what you know but who you know. but it's not quite right. it's really who knows you.
my best times were in college where tons of people like myself knew me. we were all way to f'ing smart, worked way to f'ing hard in high school, didn't really give a sh1t about the cool kids, so we had good times together. since then, it turns out real life is more like high school...
but the interesting thing is, a lot of these guys who were hardcore "loners" -- who spent 12 hours a day programming, doing math, reading books, etc. -- aren't any more. not b/c they got so gregarious. but b/c they got so damn interesting. they have fascinating jobs, brilliant ideas, great connections, b/c of what they did with themselves in their free time. ppl want them on around b/c it's interesting.
just ask yourself, if you meet a guy who sells shoes, do you really want him over for dinner? f- no, b/c who cares about a shoe guy! you know exactly what he does all day long. but what if he sells shoes to pay for sailing in the america's cup? suddenly, you're setting the table. if you're a women, anyway
so i think all the loner types -- myself included -- have to work hard to make themselves interesting. do sh1t besides the internet. ppl always think the still water runs deep. don't disappoint 'em. in real life it's not who you know, it's who knows you, and who knows what you know, if you know what i mean.
A1
I have always had plenty of friends ever since high school, and from all 'circles' (the popular ones, the geeks, the hi hoppers, whatever). Having people to hang out with has never been a problem for me.
I do however, prefer to be alone. I never shy away from company, but I do make a point of not seeking to hang out with people for the sake of it. It depends on whom I run into, of course. If I meet people who wouldn't normally say 'hi' to me, even if I know them (insecurity of if they feel we don't know each other well enough to greet each other), I always make a point of approaching them for a little chat.
Especially when I am out on the town. Go with friends by all means, but once you step through that door, make a point of mentally being there alone. Of course you can still hang out with friends and stuff like that once you are there, but being alone once you are there is important if you wanna be making new contacts (ie women).
As I see it, it doesn't really matter much whether one is alone or not. what matters is that you approach the women.
Btw, for those who are looking for company to go there with (maybe it does make you more of 'cool loner' if you actually have friends there but prefer your own company - don't know, don't care), try joining a club or something. I attend a rockmusical class which is every thursday, and finishes off with a two week intensive period of rehersals and performances, where the close social contact inevitably brings everyone closer together (and we are talking a class of some 100 people, where you will know 90% and become friends with probably half). it worked wonders for my social life when I was 15-17 and I still quite enjoy it.
I do however, prefer to be alone. I never shy away from company, but I do make a point of not seeking to hang out with people for the sake of it. It depends on whom I run into, of course. If I meet people who wouldn't normally say 'hi' to me, even if I know them (insecurity of if they feel we don't know each other well enough to greet each other), I always make a point of approaching them for a little chat.
Especially when I am out on the town. Go with friends by all means, but once you step through that door, make a point of mentally being there alone. Of course you can still hang out with friends and stuff like that once you are there, but being alone once you are there is important if you wanna be making new contacts (ie women).
As I see it, it doesn't really matter much whether one is alone or not. what matters is that you approach the women.
Btw, for those who are looking for company to go there with (maybe it does make you more of 'cool loner' if you actually have friends there but prefer your own company - don't know, don't care), try joining a club or something. I attend a rockmusical class which is every thursday, and finishes off with a two week intensive period of rehersals and performances, where the close social contact inevitably brings everyone closer together (and we are talking a class of some 100 people, where you will know 90% and become friends with probably half). it worked wonders for my social life when I was 15-17 and I still quite enjoy it.
B9,
Good ideas. I just wanted to point out the key to your post, which is that you're a loner, but by choice, and not by default.
The bottom line is, if you're a popular guy and people like you, but you come off as a loner sometimes, then it works very well. If you're a loner because nobody really likes to be around you, then you're screwed and you'd better no go down that slippery slope.
Good ideas. I just wanted to point out the key to your post, which is that you're a loner, but by choice, and not by default.
The bottom line is, if you're a popular guy and people like you, but you come off as a loner sometimes, then it works very well. If you're a loner because nobody really likes to be around you, then you're screwed and you'd better no go down that slippery slope.
myfriendblu
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Good points becker. I think the confident good looking loner also has another HUGE, HUGE advantage - He is a challenge. He presents himself as a challange. Doc love is big on this, me as well. He has an aura of mystery. We all know that a DJ should never spill his guts right away, if ever, and he should retain some level of mystery. The confident loner has this going for him.
myfriendblu,
What you're speaking of is what I like to refer to as the "strong silent type". Very difficult to pull off because I'd say at least 85-90% of it is good looks, and the remaining is the mystery. Knowing you're generally attractive to others helps a ton, because it gives you the necessary confidence.
The flip side is probably true too, where you have a generally good looking guy with insecurities that come out once they open their mouths. They'll be the good looking guys who need to brag or verbally state their strengths. These guys shoot themselves in the foot.
I guess for these reasons, a good looking guy is probably doing the right thing by creating the strong, silent type image. The only thing to watch out for is women getting the wrong impression that you're stuck up. That's a major turn-off, and it's the reason why you have to show a fun side of you at strategic times. You'll have to take certain opportunities to be C+F, but don't do it too much, just when you have something very funny to say.
One example I have is that my dad is one of those guys who is very uncomfortable with silences. He'll say things just to prevent silences, but it's no good sometimes because he says stupid things. Granted, he's not trying to pick up women when he's doing that, but you can imagine that if he did it in such a situation, it would work against him.
What you're speaking of is what I like to refer to as the "strong silent type". Very difficult to pull off because I'd say at least 85-90% of it is good looks, and the remaining is the mystery. Knowing you're generally attractive to others helps a ton, because it gives you the necessary confidence.
The flip side is probably true too, where you have a generally good looking guy with insecurities that come out once they open their mouths. They'll be the good looking guys who need to brag or verbally state their strengths. These guys shoot themselves in the foot.
I guess for these reasons, a good looking guy is probably doing the right thing by creating the strong, silent type image. The only thing to watch out for is women getting the wrong impression that you're stuck up. That's a major turn-off, and it's the reason why you have to show a fun side of you at strategic times. You'll have to take certain opportunities to be C+F, but don't do it too much, just when you have something very funny to say.
One example I have is that my dad is one of those guys who is very uncomfortable with silences. He'll say things just to prevent silences, but it's no good sometimes because he says stupid things. Granted, he's not trying to pick up women when he's doing that, but you can imagine that if he did it in such a situation, it would work against him.
I feel like i might be one of those people, i don't have very many friends but there is nothing wrong with me i just don't have very many friends but i definately have a desire to change that. I have been told i am quite a good looking guy but i wasn't sure whether to believe that or not until i posted my picture on hot or not i got 9.8 so looks might have something to do with it.
I am sort of this way too. In high school I was pretty popular and had a pretty large group of friends. But now, 5 years after high school we have all gone our separate ways. I keep few close friends and enjoy my own company. I don't really need a lot of people around me to be happy. I guess as you get older and more mature, you rely on yourself more.
Guys, I'm sorry, but it sounds to me like most of you are trying to make excuses for being socially awkward. Why? Because its the easy thing to do.
Starman was right on the money. Extraverted people are generally healther, have more friends, and have better salary opportunities.
...
I used to be a "lonewolf." Yeah, I envisioned myself walking through the wilderness by myself, slaying beasts with my sword and contenting myself by a roaring campfire.
At dances and parties, I'd just hang back and "put out a vibe" as Lloyd of Dumb and Dumber would say. Occasionally, I'd be approached by a really ballsy girl, or a group of girls. But then I'd open my mouth and the intrigue and mystique that I built up would be reduced to dust.
What are your choices in a party setting?
1. You hang back by yourself. This will make you look either stuck-up of afraid. Neither is attractive to a woman. In some cases, you will be approached, but the ratio of women you meet will increase 1000x if YOU approach.
2. You vaguely attempt to mingle in a group, but you are ignored by the rest of the group because you say nothing. You are eventually ousted from the circle and become invisible completely. You come off as dull because you have nothing to say.
Since finding sosuave, I have literally transformed. I have come out of my shell and cruise on it like its a skateboard.
To all of you die-hard lonewolves out there: Don't kid yourself. You are shy. You are afraid of human interaction! That's right, AFRAID. Overcome that shyt, man.
Improving your social skills sets off a chain reaction. Improving your social skills gets you more confidence in yourself. The more confidence you have, the more friends you make. The more friends you have, the more shyt you can do on the weekend. The more shyt you can do on the weekend, the more eventful your life will become. The more eventful your life becomes, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the more friends you make and the more women you meet.
Someone tell me how this is bad.
Humans are, by nature, social animals. Neglecting human contact will put you in a slump.
What are the main reasons I chose to become more social?
1. Being shy is not a natural behavior. It is a learned behavior. In my case, I used shyness as a defense mechanism to protect myself from humiliation. Throughout my middle-school years, I was bullied and laughed at. I thought that avoiding contact with people would shield me from hurt. But as I eventually learned, isolation is dangerous. Think about fortresses. They seem good for protection. BUT-- eventually you will run out of supplies and die if you are isolated.
Anger at the dyckheads that bullied me was my motivation to change. I WILL NOT let THEM dictate who I am.
Be honest with yourself. Identify the cause of your shyness, and slay it with that big sword you've been carrying around in the wilderness.
2. I wanted more friends. In my graduating class, there are around 200 people. In my sophomore year, I was friends with and reguarly talked to maybe 60. I'm in my senior year and that number is now around 150. How can you NOT want to know and learn about a person? Do you automatically assume that people are all monotonous drones? They aren't! People are AMAZING.
Initiate conversation-->Listen-->Comment and ask a question. If you REALLY listen and you are confident in your social skills, people will instantly open up to you.
3. I wanted to meet more girls. This was my biggest driving factor. Status and popularity are important, especially in high school. If you're a silent loser, no one wants to be seen with you.
I wanted to be wanted. Simply slapping high-fives with guys you know at a party and being in a cheery mood will do wonders for you. Social Proof, my friends. Once you have it, doors will open all around you (Yes, I sound like a fortune cookie).
Remember, extraverts and introverts alike would much rather be around an extravert. Do you want to be wanted? We all do. Don't lie-- you are not a loner by choice. You have simply accepted your situation because it would take too much courage to change it.
Read Photo1's thread "Are you a guy who just CAN'T approach?"
Also read Mr.Fingers "Social Phobias" thread.
I leave you with a quote from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene:
"EVERYONE admires the BOLD. NO ONE honors the timid."
Starman was right on the money. Extraverted people are generally healther, have more friends, and have better salary opportunities.
...
I used to be a "lonewolf." Yeah, I envisioned myself walking through the wilderness by myself, slaying beasts with my sword and contenting myself by a roaring campfire.
At dances and parties, I'd just hang back and "put out a vibe" as Lloyd of Dumb and Dumber would say. Occasionally, I'd be approached by a really ballsy girl, or a group of girls. But then I'd open my mouth and the intrigue and mystique that I built up would be reduced to dust.
What are your choices in a party setting?
1. You hang back by yourself. This will make you look either stuck-up of afraid. Neither is attractive to a woman. In some cases, you will be approached, but the ratio of women you meet will increase 1000x if YOU approach.
2. You vaguely attempt to mingle in a group, but you are ignored by the rest of the group because you say nothing. You are eventually ousted from the circle and become invisible completely. You come off as dull because you have nothing to say.
Since finding sosuave, I have literally transformed. I have come out of my shell and cruise on it like its a skateboard.
To all of you die-hard lonewolves out there: Don't kid yourself. You are shy. You are afraid of human interaction! That's right, AFRAID. Overcome that shyt, man.
Improving your social skills sets off a chain reaction. Improving your social skills gets you more confidence in yourself. The more confidence you have, the more friends you make. The more friends you have, the more shyt you can do on the weekend. The more shyt you can do on the weekend, the more eventful your life will become. The more eventful your life becomes, the more people you meet. The more people you meet, the more friends you make and the more women you meet.
Someone tell me how this is bad.
Humans are, by nature, social animals. Neglecting human contact will put you in a slump.
What are the main reasons I chose to become more social?
1. Being shy is not a natural behavior. It is a learned behavior. In my case, I used shyness as a defense mechanism to protect myself from humiliation. Throughout my middle-school years, I was bullied and laughed at. I thought that avoiding contact with people would shield me from hurt. But as I eventually learned, isolation is dangerous. Think about fortresses. They seem good for protection. BUT-- eventually you will run out of supplies and die if you are isolated.
Anger at the dyckheads that bullied me was my motivation to change. I WILL NOT let THEM dictate who I am.
Be honest with yourself. Identify the cause of your shyness, and slay it with that big sword you've been carrying around in the wilderness.
2. I wanted more friends. In my graduating class, there are around 200 people. In my sophomore year, I was friends with and reguarly talked to maybe 60. I'm in my senior year and that number is now around 150. How can you NOT want to know and learn about a person? Do you automatically assume that people are all monotonous drones? They aren't! People are AMAZING.
Initiate conversation-->Listen-->Comment and ask a question. If you REALLY listen and you are confident in your social skills, people will instantly open up to you.
3. I wanted to meet more girls. This was my biggest driving factor. Status and popularity are important, especially in high school. If you're a silent loser, no one wants to be seen with you.
I wanted to be wanted. Simply slapping high-fives with guys you know at a party and being in a cheery mood will do wonders for you. Social Proof, my friends. Once you have it, doors will open all around you (Yes, I sound like a fortune cookie
).Remember, extraverts and introverts alike would much rather be around an extravert. Do you want to be wanted? We all do. Don't lie-- you are not a loner by choice. You have simply accepted your situation because it would take too much courage to change it.
Read Photo1's thread "Are you a guy who just CAN'T approach?"
Also read Mr.Fingers "Social Phobias" thread.
I leave you with a quote from The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene:
"EVERYONE admires the BOLD. NO ONE honors the timid."
I am with the Duke on this one!
Excellent post by the Duke here. I dont' consider myself a loner, because I am quite comfortable (and I do enjoy) socialising. I just like to balance that with time alone, even when around people.
However, he is right on the mark saying that this cannot be used as an excuse for shyness. Hell, that is why whener I go to a club, even if I arrive with friends, I will be there mentally alone, because that is the way to meet people (women).
Practise your social skills. Never be a loner by default!
Excellent post by the Duke here. I dont' consider myself a loner, because I am quite comfortable (and I do enjoy) socialising. I just like to balance that with time alone, even when around people.
However, he is right on the mark saying that this cannot be used as an excuse for shyness. Hell, that is why whener I go to a club, even if I arrive with friends, I will be there mentally alone, because that is the way to meet people (women).
Practise your social skills. Never be a loner by default!
Duke,
Great points there, and I think you're definitely right about making sure it's not an excuse for shyness.
However, at the same time, the point that was made by many people here was that there are times when being alone is not a problem.
Yes, you need to not let people dictate who you are, and being an extrovert certainly has its advantages. However, making sure that people don't dictate who you are also means that you decide exactly when you want to meet people. Sometimes being super-outgoing with every girl can work against you if you are viewed as a "player". You can't be overly flirtatious, but you can talk to them. The main thing is that part of the conversation with women that get them to become more attracted to you involves flirtatious behavior and language. That is, unless you would like them only as "friends".
It's a careful balance that needs to be struck between Mr. Life of the Party and the cool collected loner. Loner is somewhat of a bad label here because people tend to give it a negative connotation. To me, the loner is the guy that may be just as extroverted as the extremely outgoing guy, but is tempered so that he's not "ON" like Jim Carrey every waking second. That may get annoying after a while anyways. The loner meets just as many people, but the advantage is that he doesn't appear needy. The loner draws people to him in a different way that the extrovert does, but the common denominator is probably intrigue. A person is intrigued by a confident loner just as much as they are intrigued by a person who isn't one.
So, no excuses, I agree, but I do think it's ok to be a loner so long as people are aware that you are not a loner because you're a total loser. I remember in college when some days I just wanted to watch TV at night, and people who knew me knew that I was a fun guy to have around, so they always tried to drag me out with them EVERY time they wanted to go out. I mean, there is such thing as too much of a good thing, and I don't see any problem with just chilling out. I have never lost friends because of this and if anything, they just end up trying harder to get me to do stuff with them. I guess it's some unintentional reverse psychology thing that's going on.
Relating this to women, being a person who seems to have two sides makes women intrigued because they will try hard to bring out the side of you that they know is fun and likeable. This is my theory as to why a woman will stay with a BF that treats her like crap (more or less); the BF most likely was a total sweetheart in the beginning of the relationship and birds were chirping and sun was shining bright, but later on, once he got her, maybe he showed some true colors and got past the candy and flowers stage. The girl, having experienced what the guy is capable of being like, will probably spend a certain period trying to bring out that side of him again. If it's totally futile, they may break up (and probably get back together a few times). We've probably all been through this in some form or another.
The moral of the story is that the human psyche works in very unpredictable ways sometimes, and it's this spontaneity and unpredictability that can be used to increase attraction.
Great points there, and I think you're definitely right about making sure it's not an excuse for shyness.
However, at the same time, the point that was made by many people here was that there are times when being alone is not a problem.
Yes, you need to not let people dictate who you are, and being an extrovert certainly has its advantages. However, making sure that people don't dictate who you are also means that you decide exactly when you want to meet people. Sometimes being super-outgoing with every girl can work against you if you are viewed as a "player". You can't be overly flirtatious, but you can talk to them. The main thing is that part of the conversation with women that get them to become more attracted to you involves flirtatious behavior and language. That is, unless you would like them only as "friends".
It's a careful balance that needs to be struck between Mr. Life of the Party and the cool collected loner. Loner is somewhat of a bad label here because people tend to give it a negative connotation. To me, the loner is the guy that may be just as extroverted as the extremely outgoing guy, but is tempered so that he's not "ON" like Jim Carrey every waking second. That may get annoying after a while anyways. The loner meets just as many people, but the advantage is that he doesn't appear needy. The loner draws people to him in a different way that the extrovert does, but the common denominator is probably intrigue. A person is intrigued by a confident loner just as much as they are intrigued by a person who isn't one.
So, no excuses, I agree, but I do think it's ok to be a loner so long as people are aware that you are not a loner because you're a total loser. I remember in college when some days I just wanted to watch TV at night, and people who knew me knew that I was a fun guy to have around, so they always tried to drag me out with them EVERY time they wanted to go out. I mean, there is such thing as too much of a good thing, and I don't see any problem with just chilling out. I have never lost friends because of this and if anything, they just end up trying harder to get me to do stuff with them. I guess it's some unintentional reverse psychology thing that's going on.
Relating this to women, being a person who seems to have two sides makes women intrigued because they will try hard to bring out the side of you that they know is fun and likeable. This is my theory as to why a woman will stay with a BF that treats her like crap (more or less); the BF most likely was a total sweetheart in the beginning of the relationship and birds were chirping and sun was shining bright, but later on, once he got her, maybe he showed some true colors and got past the candy and flowers stage. The girl, having experienced what the guy is capable of being like, will probably spend a certain period trying to bring out that side of him again. If it's totally futile, they may break up (and probably get back together a few times). We've probably all been through this in some form or another.
The moral of the story is that the human psyche works in very unpredictable ways sometimes, and it's this spontaneity and unpredictability that can be used to increase attraction.
I'll admit that I'm not a complete loner but I still categorize myself as the "confident loner". I have friends, but I'm not a part of the cool clique and you can frequently find me eating lunch by myself. However, I can still talk to strangers, voice my opinions, and be humorous. I'm also average-at-best looking (I haven't been called cute in 6 years). Unlike some people here, I don't think an average-looking guy should try to be the "****y and funny" extrovert unless that's really who he is. Otherwise, he'll only look like he's trying too hard or overcompensating for his lack of good looks (we've all seen this guy). The best approach is the indifferent approach. It shows that you don't care about societal standards with regards to beauty, wealth, etc. and that you define who you are. After my freshman year of college, I grew tired of the superificiality found on this campus, stopped trying to reinvent myself, and decided to just be myself. Realizing who you are makes you more confident. Has anyone read The Catcher In The Rye? Holden Caufield was kind of a reject (probably not even that goodlooking). But he knew who he was and was able to see through other people's bullsh!t. That's one of the strongest DJ traits to have in my opinion.
Duke im afraid that i do not fit into your pigeon holing of the lonewolf.
I am far from shy. Cold approaching comes natural to me. Put it this way, i work in a popular clothing store at the mall. This means we have hot chicks and all sorts of people coming in all day. We have a sh1tty base pay and we get commision on sales.
This puts me in the position where i am forced to cold approach HB 9's,8's,7's and ugly ones too. I am not a shy person when it comes to meeting people.
As im sure alot of the posters who are lonewolfs are as well.
Its different when you get out of highschool and you realize, as cliche as it may sound, that all you have is your balls and your word.
I think you got alot of us lone wolfs twisted. I am a lonewolf because its true, when you get out of highschool you come to realize that all you can rely upon is yourself. Now this isnt a substitute for friendship. However, just because im a lonewolf doesnt mean that when i go to a party im just going to sit there like a zombie.
Duke, your assumptions are unfound. Im sure some of your points apply but being a lonewolf doesnt necassarily equate to being socially retarded.
I am far from shy. Cold approaching comes natural to me. Put it this way, i work in a popular clothing store at the mall. This means we have hot chicks and all sorts of people coming in all day. We have a sh1tty base pay and we get commision on sales.
This puts me in the position where i am forced to cold approach HB 9's,8's,7's and ugly ones too. I am not a shy person when it comes to meeting people.
As im sure alot of the posters who are lonewolfs are as well.
Its different when you get out of highschool and you realize, as cliche as it may sound, that all you have is your balls and your word.
I think you got alot of us lone wolfs twisted. I am a lonewolf because its true, when you get out of highschool you come to realize that all you can rely upon is yourself. Now this isnt a substitute for friendship. However, just because im a lonewolf doesnt mean that when i go to a party im just going to sit there like a zombie.
Duke, your assumptions are unfound. Im sure some of your points apply but being a lonewolf doesnt necassarily equate to being socially retarded.
Chics dig confidence yes, yes they can dig the confident loner, but you really need to be confident and not trying to attain it You can't be depressed and suffer from social anxiety and think they are going to flock to you lol...
Set yourself free, work out the things you need to within yourself, then worry about the women later. TRUST ME...
You can't be depressed and suffer from social anxiety and think they are going to flock to you lol... Set yourself free, work out the things you need to within yourself, then worry about the women later. TRUST ME... Boricua_33015
Master Don Juan
I was just thinking about this post this morning. I have come to the conclusion that I just neglect people and I don't know why I do this. I do it unconsciously too.
I guess I went too far on the idea of detatchement.
But its weird because now for me not to neglect all people its gonna be weird because I am so used to neglecting everyone. Usually when someone talks to me I say a short answer, and turn my head quickly back to what I was doing or looking at in order to avoid more conversation.
My father told me that I always look like Im not genuinely interested in people, or that I am never paying attention, always in my own world or something just holdin my head up high as if I was stuck up or conceited, thinking I am higher than everyone.
Thats basically how I am on the outside but thats just not me. I think I neglect people because of an insecurity I have. I truly don't think I am higher than everyone else.
I have some twisted views I have to sort out and rationalize.
I guess I went too far on the idea of detatchement.
But its weird because now for me not to neglect all people its gonna be weird because I am so used to neglecting everyone. Usually when someone talks to me I say a short answer, and turn my head quickly back to what I was doing or looking at in order to avoid more conversation.
My father told me that I always look like Im not genuinely interested in people, or that I am never paying attention, always in my own world or something just holdin my head up high as if I was stuck up or conceited, thinking I am higher than everyone.
Thats basically how I am on the outside but thats just not me. I think I neglect people because of an insecurity I have. I truly don't think I am higher than everyone else.
I have some twisted views I have to sort out and rationalize.
Player_Supreme
Banned
NO!