Do any of you MATURE men ever feel like this?

[trent81]

Last time I posted, the feminist men on here tried to destroy me. I shared my experiences and was called every name in the book. They are still foaming at the mouth, hoping I stop posting. But I still love most of you sons of bivtches and I want your take on this. It's no secret I lost my job and have been struggling to get back on top. I will be back on my feet soon but I have a question about getting life in order vs dating. I am still in love with the married woman I was seeing. I haven't seen her or heard from her in seven months. I look at that as "what could have been, but can never be". But lately, I have found myself disinterested in just laying girls. I feel like, since I have slept with alot of women and done crazy things, that I have had things backwards in my life. I have always been lucky with sex and women. I have fuvked all kinds of women. In the ass, in the car, hotel, motel, bathroom, drugs, threesomes, you name it, I did it. But I have always focused too much on partying and no committment. I am actually calming down and looking forward to getting married and having children with an hopefully non-American woman. My question is; When did you feel like you should get your life in order? I am almost 33, I feel like I realized this too late. Now that I look back, most of the women in my life was meaningless. I kinda want companionship. I realized this after I gave up the drugs and fuvking that married woman and masturbation. I tell you what, if you stop jerkin off, you are unstoppable. But is 33 too late to realize that you should completely change your mindset on women? I haven't dated in years. I meet girls, screw them, and either they dump me or I dump them. I remember, when I was with the married woman, I kinda wished that she was my wife. As screwed up as that sounds. What the hell is going on here? Did I just grow up too late? Am I getting sentimental? Is this the end of Trent? And please, if you are pro-womens rights poster (a few that bashed me in the other thread) don't respond to this. I want to hear from men who have been laid and been getting laid but want something more in life. Not from little boys who think they know about life but haven't felt a vagina since their senior proms.
HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW when it was time to calm the fuvk down? I respect a couple people on here like str8up, igetit and harry and few others. I want some mature responses to changes that occured in your lives. When was it? What did it? Mine was when I had that affair with the married woman. It was the worst months of my life. Tell you the truth, I even forgot what dating was like. I miss it. I don't have any problems laying women, but getting a second date, well that's another story. haha I guess I have the reverse problem of most on here.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I knew it was time I began seeking more substantial relationships when I felt like fvcking chicks became masturbation into a vagina.

Now it's about the lessons I can learn and the relationship dynamics I can appreciate.

This is what seperates men from infants. Men from PUA/Seductionist/Lothario/Serial Dater's.

Good thread.

 

[zekko]

HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW when it was time to calm the fuvk down?

For me it was when I met the right women. I was right about your age too. There was a certain list of qualities I was looking for in a woman, and of course when I least expected it, I met this woman who had them. I could tell right away the first night I went out with her by the questions she was asking me, that she was looking for the same thing I was.

Later on, things turned sour and we ended up divorced. But we were together a long time, and I don't regret the relationship. It ran its course I guess. But anyway, I quit running around when I met a woman I knew I could settle down with.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

If you're asking yourself, "hmm, when should a guy really mellow out and settle down?" the answer is always 'not now.' The first part of settle down is "settle", and if your head is in a state of thinking you'd better look for something that sorta works then you're screwed.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that you've reached some magical age where you'd better be with someone before it's too late. That's the Myth of the Lonely Old Man. Monogamy should always be a last resort; something so unavoidable with a particular girl who's a good fit that it's a byproduct of your connection. If you're looking to become monogamous you're doing it wrong.

Women should only ever be a compliment to a Man's life, NEVER the focus of it.

 

[synergy1]

Our backgrounds are different, but our triggering point might be the same. I really stepped back and looked at things differently when I got laid off from my job last may. It made me realize that all those hookups from college and afterwards did not really matter and it was nice to have a girlfriend who was supportive of me. She was a bit spend-happy when I lost my job, but eventually adapted to my situation and we still had a fun summer.

Getting laid is nothing special. Sure its a fun fix, but where does it get you? Some folks disregard everything else to get girls, and find themselves later in life wondering if they should have focused on something more worthwhile. There are more fulfilling things in life to pursue. Will I enjoy getting some play when the time comes around? sure...playing the game is enjoyable to me. It sure won't be the focus of life though.

 

[The Muscle Expert]

In my opinion a man should never settle down.

Why?

Let's say you get married and have kids. The woman has all the power. She can cheat on you, divorce you, get child support, alimony, half your assets.

I know someone is going to say, "Not if you marry the right woman." That might have been true back in patriarchy days, but not in our modern feminist times. Women have the full power of the state behind them.

Enjoy your life! I'm 29 and enjoy casual sex very much. A lot of the women I f*ck want to see me again, I let them see me if they were a good lay and keep them on as a booty call. Once they start wanting me to take them out to dinners and sh*t, I give them the boot. I don't need women for companionship, just for sexual pleasure.

 

[dark god]

"I kinda want Companionship" BINGO u nailed it on the head my friend. Its nice to have a woman u can really relate to. Take trips with, speak ur mind with. all that good stuff. Theres nothing wrong for wanting to have that.

I wish I had it.

 

[Colossus]

After I passed the 30-girl lay mark I started to really get jaded with the casual banging. It was fun at times, but you reach a point where you want someone to share life with. Not just a friend or bang-buddy, but a companion---someone comparable to you. I think this is totally normal and natural, and as long as guy doesn't have this marriage-as-end-goal mentality, it's not AFC. What makes it AFC is the lack of experience. When the guy falls in love with the first girl who gives him a little attention, then simply asserts he hit the bullseye.

For me it was when I was seriously considering not dating for a while. I was just sick of it...I didn't care. Right around that time I met a girl who is really special. I didn't realize it for awhile, either. I was actually considering going after other chicks when a few months into the relationship I started to see she has some amazing qualities...she is basically everything every girl I've ever fvcked or dated wasnt. That's when I felt comfortable with the monogamy thing. I wasn't looking for it, per se, it just sort of found me...and I think that's how it should be.

 

[thissucks003]

HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW when it was time to calm the fuvk down?

For me, it was that I was just about burnt out of doing the same things with the same people and getting the same results. You start to realize that your life maybe not as fillfulling as you want and that you want someone to share your life with that has alot that you can relate to on all levels. Only you can know when you feel the burn out. I am 39 BTW.

 

[Tictac]

I have found myself disinterested in just laying girls.

.....

I am actually calming down and looking forward to getting married and having children with an hopefully non-American woman. My question is; When did you feel like you should get your life in order? I am almost 33, I feel like I realized this too late. Now that I look back, most of the women in my life was meaningless. I kinda want companionship. I realized this after I gave up the drugs and fuvking that married woman and masturbation. I tell you what, if you stop jerkin off, you are unstoppable. But is 33 too late to realize that you should completely change your mindset on women? I haven't dated in years. I meet girls, screw them, and either they dump me or I dump them. I remember, when I was with the married woman, I kinda wished that she was my wife. As screwed up as that sounds. What the hell is going on here? Did I just grow up too late? Am I getting sentimental? Is this the end of Trent? And please, if you are pro-womens rights poster (a few that bashed me in the other thread) don't respond to this. I want to hear from men who have been laid and been getting laid but want something more in life. Not from little boys who think they know about life but haven't felt a vagina since their senior proms.
HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW when it was time to calm the fuvk down? I respect a couple people on here like str8up, igetit and harry and few others. I want some mature responses to changes that occured in your lives. When was it? What did it? Mine was when I had that affair with the married woman. It was the worst months of my life. Tell you the truth, I even forgot what dating was like. I miss it. I don't have any problems laying women, but getting a second date, well that's another story. haha I guess I have the reverse problem of most on here.

Trent,

Mature? I don't know. But I am 58, have been through a long-term marriage (24 years - kids, mortgage "the full catastrophe") that cratered and have started over (a few times).

Like you, when I was younger, I was an 'accidental master' with women with no clue as to why. Met the woman of my dreams when I was about 30, married at 33 and did all the stuff everyone else did.

I made the BIG MISTAKE of settling down. Translated, that became 'losing frame'. And that cost me nearly everything.

When I started dating again, finding lots of women to mack was (again) too easy. And I don't mean lowlifes, bar trash or other versions of needy, low self-esteem women. I spun plates well enough to get a TV gig if I wanted, was the envy of all my guy friends (especially the married ones) and could get laid on short-to-no notice. And with women that looked and were the part of the real deal. those that failed the tests, were nexted witout mercy. and it worked both ways. I got nexted a time or two myself. I'm ready to judge and be judged at every moment.

The big question for me came up quickly, loudly nad persistently "So What?"

You've got the right idea. 'Calming down' and 'settling down' are two completely different things. Do the former. Never (on your life) do the latter.

By now, you should have something like the frame you'd like to live in. NEVER give that up for anyone, anytime anywhere! Work to keep and even grow your frame. To wit: know where you want to go, then figure out who you'd like to go with you. Do this in that order and your chances will be better.

I say 'chances' because nothing is certain in this world, especially when other peope are involved. I learned this the way hard way. And its inescapable.

You can find a few, two or one woman. With one (well outside Utah anyway) you can live, marry, have kids -the whole thing. You can do this if you know what you want (not in every detail but at least at the 'who you are & want to be' level. Just keep and manage your frame. Be ready to walk (from anyone) if things violate your core principles.

I have three kids, the first born when I was 41. That's been fantastic and I literally would not trade a minute of it. Being older with young kids has its issues. But it has its strengths too.

I've found a couple of women that meet my very high standards and will let things run a course getting back to one. (I think I know how this will go. But if I learned anything over the past 2 years, nothin's certain.)

Bottom line - women are easy, woman is hard. But just maybe, woman is worth it. Take your time, choose wisely. Its a large bet. Do your best to control what you can. Because the rest is a wild ride.

Tictac

 

[Warrior74]

I found this site and others after my "divorce". I was never attempting to be come some super player, nor was I looking for a new wife. I just enjoy going out every now and then with decent girl. I had all of my wild times in college and after college before my ex. I really don't feel a need to relive all of that again. I'm dating two chics but they are unavailable most of the time...which gives me time to focus on my business. I don't really want much more than what I got right now. I know I'm going to get laid a couple of times a week, which is no worse than with the ex and I have all of my free time to focus on my career, something I should have been doing in my late 20s when I was busy raising a family. In Think and Grow Rich under the section about Sexual Transmutation, it says that many men don't begin to reach their career peak until about 40, when they start to transmute the sexual energy into creative energy. So you're probably right on track.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

WHY MEN SELDOM SUCCEED BEFORE FORTY

I discovered, from the analysis of over 25,000 people, that men who succeed in an outstanding way, seldom do so before the age of forty, and more often they do not strike their real pace until they are well beyond the age of fifty. This fact was so

p. 274

astounding that it prompted me to go into the study of its cause most carefully, carrying the investigation over a period of more than twelve years.

This study disclosed the fact that the major reason why the majority of men who succeed do not begin to do so before the age of forty to fifty, is their tendency to DISSIPATE their energies through over indulgence in physical expression of the emotion of sex. The majority of men never learn that the urge of sex has other possibilities, which far transcend in importance, that of mere physical expression. The majority of those who make this discovery, do so after having wasted many years at a period when the sex energy is at its height, prior to the age of forty-five to fifty. This usually is followed by noteworthy achievement.

The lives of many men up to, and sometimes well past the age of forty, reflect a continued dissipation of energies, which could have been more profitably turned into better channels. Their finer and more powerful emotions are sown wildly to the four winds. Out of this habit of the male, grew the term, "sowing his wild oats."

The desire for sexual expression is by far the strongest and most impelling of all the human emotions, and for this very reason this desire, when harnessed and transmuted into action, other than that of physical expression, may raise one to the status of a genius.

One of America's most able business men frankly admitted that his attractive secretary was responsible for most of the plans he created. He admitted that her presence lifted him to heights of creative imagination, such as he could experience under no other stimulus.

One of the most successful men in America owes most of his success to the influence of a very charming young woman, who has served as his source of inspiration for more than twelve years. Everyone knows the man to whom this reference is made, but not everyone knows the REAL SOURCE of his achievements.

History is not lacking in examples of men who attained to the status of genii, as the result of the use of artificial mind stimulants in the form of alcohol and narcotics. Edgar Allen Poe wrote the "Raven" while under the influence of liquor, "dreaming dreams that mortal never dared to dream before." James Whitcomb Riley did his best writing while under the influence of alcohol. Perhaps it was thus he saw "the ordered intermingling of the real and the dream, the mill above the river, and the mist above the stream." Robert Burns wrote best when intoxicated, "For Auld Lang Syne, my dear, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne."

But let it be remembered that many such men have destroyed themselves in the end. Nature has prepared her own potions with which men may safely stimulate their minds so they vibrate on a plane that enables them to tune in to fine and rare thoughts which come from--no man knows where! No satisfactory substitute for Nature's stimulants has ever been found.

It is a fact well known to psychologists that there is a very close relationship between sex desires and spiritual urges--a fact which accounts for the peculiar behavior of people who participate in the orgies known as religious "revivals," common among the primitive types.

The world is ruled, and the destiny of civilization is established, by the human emotions. People are influenced in their actions, not by reason so much as by "feelings." The creative faculty of the mind is set into action entirely by emotions, and not by cold reason. The most powerful of all human emotions is that of sex. There are other mind stimulants, some of which have been listed, but no one of them, nor all of them combined, can equal the driving power of sex.

A mind stimulant is any influence which will either temporarily, or permanently, increase the vibrations of thought. The ten major stimulants, described, are those most commonly resorted to. Through these sources one may commune with Infinite Intelligence, or enter, at will, the storehouse of the subconscious mind, either one's own, or that of another person, a procedure which is all there is of genius.

A teacher, who has trained and directed the efforts of more than 30,000 sales people, made the astounding discovery that highly sexed men are the most efficient salesmen. The explanation is, that the factor of personality known as "personal magnetism" is nothing more nor less than sex energy. Highly sexed people always have a plentiful supply of magnetism. Through cultivation and understanding, this vital force may be drawn upon and used to great advantage in the relationships between people.

 

[sodbuster]

When I met one with the same mindset about life that I had,I was ready to see what marriage held in store. I ended up losing the frame-easy to do if you don't want to argue all the time. It starts SMALL, then builds to bigger things. You need to hold on to the thought that you could replace her tomorrow-she will feel it,and act more like she still has to chase you.

 

[Mr. Me]

>> Monogamy should always be a last resort; something so unavoidable with a particular girl who's a good fit that it's a byproduct of your connection. If you're looking to become monogamous you're doing it wrong.>>

+ 100

 

[KarmaSutra]

Bottom line - women are easy, woman is hard. But just maybe, woman is worth it. Take your time, choose wisely. Its a large bet.

Did anyone else hear "enlightened" after reading this as I did?

Profound little nugget here Brother.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

By now, you should have something like the frame you'd like to live in. NEVER give that up for anyone, anytime anywhere! Work to keep and even grow your frame. To wit: know where you want to go, then figure out who you'd like to go with you. Do this in that order and your chances will be better.

Another great nugget worthy af repping.

 

[trent81]

Wow, some great responses guys. Tic tac's response almost brought tears into my eyes. That's why I like posting here. I love to see how men from other countries and all walks of life share a common bond in life....The pursuit to a good life. Life is hard, meeting good women is hard, making money is hard, surviving is hard, but finding good advice is easy here. Keep them coming fellas, I want to know how and what triggered it for you guys. Trent is going through some big changes, and he needs to know that he is not going crazy.

 

[Tictac]

Trent,

No, you are not going crazy. You, like all of us, are exploring new territory. Its scary sometimes, often lonely, definitely novel. It is worth the work as self work is. At coming up on 60, I wish I'd asked these things of myself when I was younger. You are, so run with it.

Its how you get to who you are and where you want to go. And, as I said earlier, once you know that, you can start asking who you want to go with you.

Not many people have the guts to even ask the questions. You do. That's a great sign. Live with the questions, its okay. Just make sure to have a lot of fun on the way.

Raoul

 

[squirrels]

I feel like that a lot lately...I'd love to find a woman that I can hang out with for a while, maybe go through the whole child-rearing nonsense. But so far I haven't found the "right woman".

I'm not foolish enough to just throw myself into a relationship with the next girl I find that I'm kinda into. I advise you not to be, either.

The "dating game" is a war...and the only way I get out of it and go home with my head held high is by fighting that war until I win.

 

[brokenupinside]

TicTac...you are on another level my friend:rockon:

 

[Tictac]

TicTac...you are on another level my friend:rockon:

Thanks. But, if so, its because I have a penchant for huge errors and a high tolerance for pain.

Don't follow that road. But if its the journey instead of the destination, its been a wild one that I wouldn't give back an inch of. And I truly believe that the best is ahead.

Tictac