Do alpha widows ever get over the alpha?

[HyenaPrince]

It's the reason I ended my LTR. I outright called her out on it. It didn't change. So i ended it.

Didn't you notice it beforehand during the first dates?

 

[TonyTenner]

Didn't you notice it beforehand during the first dates?

Relationship was 6 months. On the first few dates I paid for everything, I set a blue pill standard. I got wise, came on these forums, laid down the law. And things didn't change. So I pried. Her last bf was broke and she paid for everything. I ended it.

 

[mickdollaz]

Even if it was 10 years ago.

And since the vast majority of people on these forums are not natural alphas - else how would you have found your way here - how do you deal with an alpha widow?

You're a stopgap, she'll never be happy with you.

She WILL settle if her alpha never comes around, which is what usually happens.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Her last bf was broke and she paid for everything

That's just the excuse she gave you for the occasions you brought the topic up. Even if her ex made an effort and paid every now and then, she would've still said she was paying for everything all the time. Women love talking in contrasts when it favors their own personality in the eyes of their new lover. If you want to have the Red Pill club sandwich deluxe, start by never accepting what a woman says at face value (if you haven't started doing it, that is).

 

[TonyTenner]

That's just the excuse she gave you for the occasions you brought the topic up. Even if her ex made an effort and paid every now and then, she would've still said she was paying for everything all the time. Women love talking in contrasts when it favors their own personality in the eyes of their new lover. If you want to have the Red Pill club sandwich deluxe, start by never accepting what a woman says at face value (if you haven't started doing it, that is).

Totally agree re. look at what they do not say, but in this case it didn't look good for her to say that given the context of the conversation - me paying, again. So it was actually true. Naive by her.

 

[TonyTenner]

You're a stopgap, she'll never be happy with you.

She WILL settle if her alpha never comes around, which is what usually happens.

Would you be happy with her settling on you?

 

[BeExcellent]

Didnt you say you been dating recently with a 18yrs old guy who married a 37yrs old woman

That was true when he was 18, lol.

He’s now 49. So that was his first wife decades ago. The marriage didn’t last but a couple of years.

He’s remarried since then and divorced and run through countless women.

He knows the game cold and is the best player from a game perspective I’ve ever seen (and that some of my player buddies have ever seen too), but he remains deeply unhappy as he relies on external validation rather than internal. He remains deeply insecure. Kinda sad actually.

 

[SW15]

You are not gonna bond with a mid30s average girl not even if you throw warehouse glue on her.

As a 37 year old guy who has been on dates, dated, and had extended relationships with women near my own age, I can attest to this.

 

[TonyTenner]

As a 37 year old guy who has been on dates, dated, and had extended relationships with women near my own age, I can attest to this.

so...go younger?

 

[metalwater]

Which gets the the question of if alpha can be achieved for a non-natural

leading to the question of what the hell exactly is alpha. there are certain vibe and behavior that will never work for you that will work for someone else; and they might tell you that what they do is alpha. you can read the definition of alpha; and in pure sense the basic definition is it. your still relatively young, your gonna have a great time. don't try to be "alpha" unless your looking for low quality girls to pass the time with. set some principals to live by if you haven't already; it will keep you from going to the dark side.

 

[SW15]

so...go younger?

Way easier said than done. I would like a 21 year old girlfriend. Very few 21 year olds are interested. I have been dating women younger than myself in my 30s, but not substantially younger. I'd be hard pressed now to have something sustainable under 28.

 

[Who Dares Win]

so...go younger?

For a guy in his late 30s to get a girl in her early 20s you need to have top genetics when it comes of looks and looking younger (unless you have indiana jones chalice).

You also need a very active and sportish youngish life style that allows you to pass any cultural barrier that includes her friends and those around you.

Also a quick lay or a fvck buddy relationship can be done but when it comes of a relatinship its much much harder for many different reasons.

Im in my mid 30s and in order not to complicate things too much I would hardly go below 26...sure ons with 22 yrs old girls can be done but nothing stable.

This is one of the many reasons along with body ones that Im much more scared of getting old than getting killed.

 

[metalwater]

For a guy in his late 30s to get a girl in her early 20s you need to have top genetics when it comes of looks and looking younger (unless you have indiana jones chalice).

You also need a very active and sportish youngish life style that allows you to pass any cultural barrier that includes her friends and those around you.

Also a quick lay or a fvck buddy relationship can be done but when it comes of a relatinship its much much harder for many different reasons.

Im in my mid 30s and in order not to complicate things too much I would hardly go below 26...sure ons with 22 yrs old girls can be done but nothing stable.

This is one of the many reasons along with body ones that Im much more scared of getting old than getting killed.

agree w/ on this.

15 or 20-year diff can work, not supper easy as it sounds. it sounds great as a plan; lots of details. it is fine and fun as an experiment. It might be cool for a few years and then a season of life changes for one or both. knowing it will happen, is different than living it. With status diff equal to the age diff; it is doable to set it up. the difference between 20 and 35 is different than the difference between 40 and 55. the sweet spot on that one will be 30 and 45. understanding red pill.. a man might be able to manage it all, things will feel different at different ages.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women get over men as easy as we get over a disappointing season of our favorite sports team. It's "Oh well... there is always next year." They don't like losing out to another chick, but to them it's not the end of the world. When it comes to relationships, they are a lot more resilient than most men. The only time I've ever seen a woman agonizing over a dude, is if the man is exceptional at all levels, and it is something she clearly believes that she did that fvcked things up, but when that happens she just spends time with her female friends and that all surround her with compliments and convince her that it really wasn't her fault... it was the man... and she gets over that too, it just takes a little longer.

 

[Who Dares Win]

agree w/ on this.

15 or 20-year diff can work, not supper easy as it sounds. it sounds great as a plan; lots of details. it is fine and fun as an experiment. It might be cool for a few years and then a season of life changes for one or both. knowing it will happen, is different than living it. With status diff equal to the age diff; it is doable to set it up. the difference between 20 and 35 is different than the difference between 40 and 55. the sweet spot on that one will be 30 and 45. understanding red pill.. a man might be able to manage it all, things will feel different at different ages.

A 45 men that can pass for late 30s can be successful in dating a 30 yrs old one, the problem is if they want kids..in such case the guy really needs to be top energy and have his sh1t togheter.

Actually mid 40s in the only age group that could consider dating a post wall woman without losing anything.

Im in my mid 30s now and no change in hell Ill bother with a post wall one, not even as a fvck buddy.

 

[TonyTenner]

The "alpha widow" is one of the stupidest boogeymen in the manosphere. But there's a whole subset of men who live in fear of these things.

Expand on that

 

[Desdinova]

how do you deal with an alpha widow?

Fvck and toss. They are permanently damaged.

 

[metalwater]

A 45 men that can pass for late 30s can be successful in dating a 30 yrs old one, the problem is if they want kids..in such case the guy really needs to be top energy and have his sh1t togheter.

Actually mid 40s in the only age group that could consider dating a post wall woman without losing anything.

I have a number of friends that are mid 40 with 30ish (pre wall) and its ok. the girls like the guys or at least mostly behave and at 45 most of the 20 to 35ers don't challenge them.. much... the ones that go younger end up in **** most of the time. the guys can GET almost any they ask. the ones that go the same age or older end up usually with really dedicated women. I also know a few that are around 65 with 30ish. Everyone of them has issues, some with young kids.. looking at it through red tint glasses; it all makes more sense.

 

[bcude]

If you accept the notion that women are designed to only truly bond with one man in their lives. Probably by a man that made a lasting impression on her, aka the 'alpha', then you'll have a damn hard time when you get compared to this guy in everything you do and will do better by leaving her alone as @Desdinova is saying.

Can women only truly bond with one man in their lives? I don't know, but i do know that they're not built to be promiscuous and their ability to bond directly inversely correlates with the amount of sexual partners, which makes a case for the validity of this statement.

This means if she met an 'alpha' in her 20s while still being under 10 (generous number taken from statistics) on her notch count - she will have this guy as the standard until she dies.

Then the answer would be no.