Do all women lose respect?

[Baibars]

All women I dated lost respect and didn’t tolerate much after a while. Some after a few weeks/months, others needed longer but eventually every girl stopped respecting me and tolerating things I did/said.

If a woman is into you in the beginning she doesn’t care if you treat her poorly. If she want things to work out between you, she makes it easy. But later on she takes less **** until the relationship expires and if you don’t break up soon enough it gets worse and worse.

do you think this happens with any kind of woman and relationship or is this something we as men can control? does it only happen because we lose frame etc or does any relationship just expire?

 

[Serenity]

So your experience is that in the beginning she doesn't care if you treat her poorly? In your experience they take less and less sh!t from you as time goes on?

If those are true, is it then a surprise she loses respect and tolerance after a while? If you were treated poorly, would your respect and tolerance grow over time?

There are only two possibilities here. Either you're extremely unlucky with every woman you come across or there's something problematic about yourself. The former is based on chance, the latter is something you as a man can control. Something something common denominator.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

So your experience is that in the beginning she doesn't care if you treat her poorly? In your experience they take less and less sh!t from you as time goes on?

If those are true, is it then a surprise she loses respect and tolerance after a while? If you were treated poorly, would your respect and tolerance grow over time?

There are only two possibilities here. Either you're extremely unlucky with every woman you come across or there's something problematic about yourself. The former is based on chance, the latter is something you as a man can control. Something something common denominator.

He might be too selfish with a good thing and eventually they tire of his crap.

 

[BuckledWheel]

It seems that the problem is mainly your own. You’re doing exactly the same thing with these chicks & expecting a different outcome each time. You can still maintain frame but show a girl you can respect them. No one wants to be treated like ****. They might think you’re a bad boy at the start & get off on it, but it wears off.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Commonality and the mundane of daily life makes life boring for women. Once she know you too well, the mystery is gone and she gets bored.
They want that high of the unknown and the drama/feelings it brings to them.

 

[Bigpapa]

Commonality and the mundane of daily life makes life boring for women. Once she know you too well, the mystery is gone and she gets bored.
They want that high of the unknown and the drama/feelings it brings to them.

I think that it has to do more with the fact that she takes you as granted after a while ( as you take her ) , and she knows that she does not really have to bear any social consequences for banging let”s say another dude she will just do that , as she is just projecting what she would do if you would cheat on her

most women accept cheaters . Rarely a guy cheating leads to an actual brake up ( unless he is really a dirtbag or does this constantly )

but as an idea , I treat quite well girls and after a while they make a sh1t show when I am not simping ( as they expect and think is Normal , even though they would be repulsed if you would start doing so )

 

[oldmanofthesea]

do you think this happens with any kind of woman and relationship or is this something we as men can control? does it only happen because we lose frame etc or does any relationship just expire?

In order to answer that question, we would have to understand the details behind the statements you are making here:

didn’t tolerate much after a while.

stopped respecting me and tolerating things I did/said.

she doesn’t care if you treat her poorly.

she takes less ****

What are you doing to women that they must "tolerate"?
How are you treating women poorly and why?
What kind of sh*t are you dishing out to women and why?

Reading between the lines, this wouldn't be unique to women. If you treated your friends the same way - doing things they would have to "tolerate", treating them "poorly" and giving them a bunch of "****" - then your friends would ultimately lose respect for you and walk away just like the women in your life seem to.

But sure, of course, if a woman really likes you, she is likely to put up with some negative things in the hopes that these things can be fixed over time, or just from straight up denial and running on emotions (as women do) instead of rational thought and observation. After a while, once she subconsciously realizes that's not going to happen, her emotions change, and she responds to that by leaving. The more self esteem and confidence and better relationship material she is, the faster she will drop you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Problem is you, OP. Women lose respect when their guy stops acting like a man.

 

[RangerMIke]

Familiarity breeds contempt. So yeah... the longer you know someone the more respect you lose.

It's normal for people to lose respect for you the longer you get to know them, what you DON'T want is for someone to have disrespect for you. A woman has to have some level of respect for you, if the 'respect' drops to the point where she is disrespecting you then you are on your way out.

 

[kavi]

Your frame is slipping. You shouldnt be treating a girl badly and but I dont think this is the issue here. It looks like you are losing frame as the relationship is progressing.

In the relationship, whenever her behaviour changes for the worse, you need to withdraw immediately, but it looks like you are tolerating slow and gradual increase in disrespect and low-status frame until she has you completely in the beta category at which point she feels this is the real you and its over.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Problem is you, OP. Women lose respect when their guy stops acting like a man.

He said he treats them poorly and after a while they don't put up with it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

He said he treats them poorly and after a while they don't put up with it.

Exactly. Problem is him.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exactly. Problem is him.

It's a lot of folks setup like that. And if he's in the dating world, he might have to be that way. Life is odd, cause it's either him doing them like that and feeling over valued compared to them or them doing him like that and them feeling over him.

 

[Baibars]

In order to answer that question, we would have to understand the details behind the statements you are making here:






What are you doing to women that they must "tolerate"?
How are you treating women poorly and why?
What kind of sh*t are you dishing out to women and why?

Reading between the lines, this wouldn't be unique to women. If you treated your friends the same way - doing things they would have to "tolerate", treating them "poorly" and giving them a bunch of "****" - then your friends would ultimately lose respect for you and walk away just like the women in your life seem to.

But sure, of course, if a woman really likes you, she is likely to put up with some negative things in the hopes that these things can be fixed over time, or just from straight up denial and running on emotions (as women do) instead of rational thought and observation. After a while, once she subconsciously realizes that's not going to happen, her emotions change, and she responds to that by leaving. The more self esteem and confidence and better relationship material she is, the faster she will drop you.

this hit me hard today.
That’s exactly what I’ve done with my ex.

yeah she was a single mother, she lied about her body count but she did everything for me.
She kept tolerating it when I ghosted her and just didn’t care.

In the end her emotions changed and after that i tried everything to get her back.
I acted needy and chased her.
Nothing helped.
Then 2.5 weeks ago we met the last time. First I acted cool but when I realized she doesn’t even want a hug from me I cried and acted all emotional. Since then we didn’t talk.

I tried for 2 fcking months man. She moved on but I’m still stuck in my head even though I met women. Right now I don’t even want to meet women..

but I know why I did it. I treated her that way because I knew she was a hoe. I knew I didn’t want to commit forever. As a person she was very good but I couldn’t deal with all of the red flags.
It hurt me and I knew these things would keep hurting me if i would commit to her.

 

[Baibars]

@Bigpapa

give me some common sense please man. Im emotional today I had a moment where I almost called her.

 

[Ricky]

I have older brothers and two of them are too nice. They do everything for their wives who treat them like **** often because they take them for granted

i did too much of the opposite. My wife felt i treated her badly. I lived like a king with her and in many ways i still do except sexually where she pulled back big time

i think the solution is the middle. Being a bit of both, being unpredictable. Variable reward is powerful in humans.

one dating coach talks about a psychological concept called fractionation. Taking women on a roller coaster

having alot of outside interests made me self absorbed but that selfishness has enriched my life and made me more interesting than most men.

alot of guys i know are whipped. I too am the workhorse for the family but i dont take it to the extreme they do where they work all week and come home to a woman who doesnt work and doesnt any cooking or cleaning

all the guys i know in this situation are busting their ass at work, not getting food cooked for them at home or the house cleaning done for them by their stay at home wives.

as a cope one drinks too much alcohol and recently got too drunk and threw up in my car and appears to banned by his wife from socializing. Another smokes too much and several eat too much. None of them get or make much time to exercise

if they would make time for themselves first, their wives would respect them more.

 

[Ricky]

The OP in this case might need to mix in a bit of nice guy behavior if he is a jerk most of the time

sorry just read how you got pretty needy with her. You cant crumble like that in front of them. It would have been ok to be nice but the neediness after being a jerk implies it was all a charade

 

[Baibars]

The OP in this case might need to mix in a bit of nice guy behavior if he is a jerk most of the time

I was nice and did many nice things for my ex. I wasn’t a jerk the whole time..

 

[Ricky]

I was nice and did many nice things for my ex. I wasn’t a jerk the whole time..

Ok thats good. It may take more context to understand.

i havent dated single moms. I avoided them for the most part. One reason they make it tough to come back is they are rightfully protective of their kids and need to put them first so they might be more reluctant to get back together after a breakup

 

[Baibars]

Ok thats good. It may take more context to understand.

i havent dated single moms. I avoided them for the most part. One reason they make it tough to come back is they are rightfully protective of their kids and need to put them first so they might be more reluctant to get back together after a breakup

I dated her for 1.5 years. Im a single dad of 2.
We’ve been together in another country for vacation twice.
after our last trip in mid August I stopped talking to her because we had an argument during the trip.
I did that every few weeks/months during the relationship.
She cried and begged, she wanted to talk things out make things work and i always took her back every time. I was not like that the whole time. I gifted her things, we went on trips, we did fun activities. I was romantic too.

This time things were different. 2 weeks passed by and i didnt hear anything from her so i called her. She said she's depressed and can't act like she used to.
I met her a few times after that. She didnt want to kiss or be intimate and also didnt want to make things work. She just said she cant be like she used to be again. She said i dont deserve this several times and cried a lot.

The last time i met her was 2.5 weeks ago.
I literally forced that because she kept giving me excuses for 2 weeks before that.
That day we talked and it was clear that she didnt even want to get close to me anymore.
I said i want to work things out but she asked me if i want her to act like she wants this. When i heard that i started talking emotional and even lost a few tears. I said she can leave now and i left too.
That day i promised myself that i wont continue chasing since i did everything in my power but nothing helped.

I appreciated her a lot as a person. She was like my best friend. We were so close.
But as i said she gave me the ick and disgust from time to time because there were these red flags.
- She smoked weed sometimes
- she once told me that she got sexually abused
- i once saw her ex and he's an alcoholic jobless loser
- she had condoms and sex toys when we first started dating, i knew she had many guys but she said she had only 2
when she turned cold in the end she also revealed that her true body count is double digits and she lied because she knew i wouldnt commit if i knew

There were so many other things from her past.. i liked her so much but i remember when i had her i thought that i didn't want this to last forever. I think that's why i left her periodically, that's why i didn't let her too close.