DJ's: I am new territory! Can you help land this one??

DJBaron

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This is my first post, and I must say HOLY MOLY you guys are unbelievable in what you have accomplished in your lives. The change I see here is so inspirational I am amazed. Now I need some help and I was hoping to polish my skills and get help at the same time possibly landing (or dumping) this potential girl. My situation is a little different though, which presents a nice challenge to any DJ who can think from the special angle. Also I wanna say sorry if the post is long but I want to make sure I get my position correct so I can get all the good tips and info from you guys in order to maximize myself and become not a prince but a KING AMONG MEN!!! :rockon:

If you just want to read the MEAT of the post look for the ****
I always had DJ elements, girls told me I had this charm, but I was a MASSIVE AFC as well!!! Now i'm a RAFC

I have read perhaps a dozen articles on this website so far, read many from the DJ BIBLE and I am just eating it up! My case is so unique though and different than many of the guys on here (or at least I see it like that right now)

A fast sum up... I grew up in the jock crowd, mad skills with being funny and all that, just average looking, and also my body never developed well when it comes to muscle or fat sadly (i have skinny body look with wide broad shoulders and I put fat very easily, yet always seem to maintain this average fatness never getting fat enough that someone could notice without seeing it), the girls loved me, flocked to me, but I never could land girls properly.

So at 20 I was peaking with my skills, but still AFC in ways that stopped me from being succesful plus natural LSE from a messed up childhood. I would do it right, the girl would get close, and than she would move away...

So what is new about my case?

****
I am a religious Jew who is still a really cool guy and relatable to all girls. I am looking to get married and in the Religious Jewish world you date in the ideal way for being a DJ. You get setup with a girl, either she feels something and u date again, or its called off. There is a huge crisis in the dating scene for religious Jewish ppl these days because all the guys seem to have become AFC and the girls are all LSE or those super b*tches you dump once detected. So this is a problem for solid guys like myself who just want a great girl.

However I recently met a girl, who was like me, cool yet religious so she was relatable and did not push her views on others. She is a B, and seemed to be really into me at first. However I noticed my old pattern was still there. AFC kicked in and suddenly she pulls LJBF than the DJ aspect of me kicked in and said screw this girl man! Suddenly she messages me on MSN the other day saying she made a mistake and really likes me and blah blah blah.. So now I'm stuck in a difficult situation. For you DJ's who are NOT playing this game like me (having morals and Jewish laws that I follow such as not touching a girl until we are married -- yes foreign to you and me until I was 21 but trust me the first time we hold hands will be more than all the sex you've had in the last year mr DJ. In one post I saw this recommended as a way to stimulate girls.. I notice more and more what I read here most of the time is all connected with the laws of my religion and its great :) you must realize that we do short dating, short engagement - than marriage. The reason is that the physical aspect only comes in after marriage and since that is the case it makes both sides much more interested in knowing the person and the facts show -- less than 10% divorce rate in the religious jewish community... Anyways back to the B.. So we dated when she came to visit for 5 weeks, and she pretty much was hooked in most ways but she didnt feel 10% she was not swept off her feet. Recently she went back to america and she messaged me as I mentioned before telling me she wants to try to still work it out with me cause she has great feelings.. But now we are 6000 kilometers away! ITS LDR! And another problem is that she needs to do a year of school there before she will come back here or consider moving to the next step. For us its not about dating to date, its about dating for marriage. She knows I am top of the line in one way, but in another way I'm failing.

I think my problem is that I have taken the Jewish outlook which makes one a DJ (believe it or not) and misunderstood it crushing some of my own personality and limiting my social abilities. I notice that I too logical as written in many posts here... I need to open up more and be more emotional. Last nite we had a great steamy conversation but she had to go and I'm not interested in becoming AFC again with her.


This is my issue! I need to either tell this girl to get her priorities straight and we are gonna date/get engaged or else I need to dump her. There is no room for either LDR or AFC (me talking to her when there is no relationship commitment)

So here lies where I need the skills... How do I deal with this situation so I benefit the most from it? I need her to decide she wants me BAD, and I am back and forth with her cause in one way I'm OQ for her, but in another way I turn into this gay ass AFC who I wanna beat down hard! UGH!

On the other hand, maybe I am into her too much? she is a good girl, but perhaps I need to hone in my skills to see if she is worthy of me? since I am THE GREATEST CATCH!!! however I have already 'fallen' for her in the fact that she just seems so great to me personality wise and the chemistry....


Lemme know what you experienced DJ's think and I'm going to be reading and honing in on this hardcore!

Bottom line what I see next week with this girl... either I tell her to get herself settled and call me when she wants to get serious with me in a month or two (thus showing my needlessness) , or I continue talking to her and most likely become AFC (or maybe not I am not sure...)


so what do you guys think??? I think its a tough case... Ask me any questions and dish out any suggestions!

PEACE
 

studentisready

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Its a conundrum all right! It doesn't sound like having all your eggs in one basket is a good policy even if you do want to marry this girl. I'm not suggesting you let her know that your keeping your options open but if you do keep your options open you'll tend to be breezier with her. Just turn up, meet her and flirt and connect and see how yee get on but always remember that you have other options. It may help to visualize her as your wife and mentally accept same (if thats what you want and I think it is!) and things will tend to fall in to place perfectly. Best of luck!

PS Dont tell her that shes your new wife when shes not! Just believe it and if its 'meant to be' it will be...
 

DJBaron

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i agree its important to not consider her alone as advised in a few articles I read. However once you begin dating a girl seriously, you don't look at other girls... you get ready for engagement. This leaves for no fuss BS. Anyways Additionally she is on the other side of the world right now... me being in Israel studying and working and she being in America learning in college. whatever happens at this point will be LDR.. danger in my books. However that great girl who is 1% of all girls... she cannot be tossed aside you must really utilize your skills!

Question: A few weeks ago when she was still here I took her aside when were on the beach chillin with friends one nite and told her (when I was drunk and letting out emotions stupidly) that I was starting to get into her and really like her and blah blah ... she told me later on that she was so swept off her feet by me at that time she wanted to jump all over me! (however remember that my game being a religious Jew is no touching until marriage! This means I cannot use ANY physical tactics!! Makes it more interesting doesnt it?? :)

Anyways --- my question is that what I did seemed like I messed up and pulled AFC move or an infatuated move!! But it had good results! I need clarity on this.. How was what I did not one of those negative things but something positive?

BTW my situation means I am going to have work extra hard on everything except physical tactics! So please try to keep this in mind. I need to master my game by my words, by my sticking to my guns and by whatever else you can do without touching and using that... (Once i'm married i'll re-enter that game for the first time since I started to become religious...)
 

studentisready

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Its a different set of rules when your after marriage or a long term relationship. Telling her your feelings in that case isnt a chump thing. Its the right thing to do. She sounds into you and I dont know her religious orientation but you must discreetly let her know yours (particularly if she wants to jump all over you!) I dont think God will hold it against you if she holds it against you if you know what I mean. If you want to be with this woman you need to chump it up and do the romantic thing! Try to make it special. Bring her flowers and be a gentleman. She sounds like that shes the kind of girl that that will 'work' with. Signal your romantic intent. And remember if you dont you'll never know! She'll either be your woman or you'll be able to get on with it and find your true love.
Fortune favours the brave (and the sober!)
 

BluEyes

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Originally posted by DJBaron
than the DJ aspect of me kicked in and said screw this girl man! Suddenly she messages me on MSN the other day saying she made a mistake and really likes me and blah blah blah..
Keep using push/pull. It's essential since its a LDR and you won't be seeing eachother for some time. If I were you I'd show some more interest, then back off for awhile. Don't let her think that she's already landed YOU, or else she'll move on. Keep her guessing and keep some mystery around yourself, or else she'll get bored with the LDR. Don't spill your life story everytime you talk to her, and don't tell her how much you love her, etc...

1. Keep the conversations a respectable length(no 2 hour convo's)
2. Keep it sexual, associate yourself with your interest in her, but don't smother it.

And always remember that there ARE other options :)
 

studentisready

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Thats one thing we all agree on. KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN. If you sincerely have other 'projects' going on you wont tend to fall into all the desperation behaviours that push women away.
I may have been wrong in my advice in the post before Blue eyes.
Catching women is like catching butterflies. Just open your hands, gently move towards her and she'll land on you. Grasp and she'll fly away in fear and disgust or you'lll squash her!
Good luck.
 

Desdinova

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I need her to decide she wants me BAD,
Women are terrible decision makers. You'll grow old and die before she figures out what she wants to do. YOU have to make the decision of what you want to do with YOUR life.

I need to either tell this girl to get her priorities straight and we are gonna date/get engaged or else I need to dump her.
She's going to do whatever she wants regardless of how you feel for her. Sitting around and waiting for a woman to finish up other business before "continuing" with a relationship could take forever, plus there's always the chance that she'll lose interest without contact with you in person. Putting your life on hold for a woman is a waste of time. You're better off pursuing other women at this time. If she comes back and would like to start dating you again, then you have the choice of taking her back. Until then, don't risk wasting your life waiting. Go out, meet other women, and have fun.
 

Phyzzle

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To make it short and sweet:

There's always the chance that she'll lose interest without contact with you in person.
This pretty much sums it up. You can even tell her that.
 

DJBaron

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hey guys!

Alright responding to all these statements...

The main two options were push/pull and move on... I Think I wanna do push/pull a little more than drop the axe suddenly. This seems to be to be the best way to mess her up and have her thinkin about me for a long time. The biggest issue is what will she do this year? Will she grow as a person or stay the same? This makes me think that no matter what I need to dump her because there must be better girls out there!

However the problem is my fellow DJ's is that in all the girls i've dated she is the only one that I really can see myself marrying. This makes the situation annoying as hell for me. I will date other girlies but I will compare them to her. I know I just gotta suck it up and slap myself in the face and move on but its hard...

I need to learn more about specific ways of doing push/pull and when I drop her, I need to do it properly to not burn bridges, keep myself on top and make her feel like just lost a billion dollars.

A little story: There was this girl i didnt even date but was getting close with, and I told her we cant see each other any more even as friends and she started crying and even puked a few times! I felt like a king, since she was a SHB and guys ran after her 24/7. Here she was.... dying for me! :) Truly all the stuff you guys write about works... the natural DJ in me at the time was kicking well with that girl, so I was able to work her like that without even dating her!!

This girl however... another story!!!

I'll let you guys know what happens...
 
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