DJBC - WEEK 2 - Group Blue

[Quiksilver]

"Gentlemen, I congratulate all of you here, because you have completed the first week. This should encourage you to keep going: You can do it! This weeks exercise will be talking to strangers. You know, any stranger, young, old, male, female, whatever. Good luck, keep it going."

Name : AIM
Please add everyone.

Apostle IX: jjthemwking
PHAT Rabbit: schwanndiggs
Erasmus: Erasmus1337
rushing dude 123: user requested e-mail address deletion (msn)
DefiantIronist: Finn Devil 86
Heart Break Kid: Dorian Khan
OrangeCrusader: orangecrusader14
Miguel: Miguelgiveshell

Those are the people that reported being done with the last exercises. In case I've overseen something, please tell me. I know, the groups have become a lot smaller, but I am sticking with 4 groups this week, maybe there are some people who did the exercises but forgot to post. In this case, PM me please.


Now, it's your responsibility to complete every week on time. You have to:
- Do the reading
- Complete the exercises
- Write a Report at the end of the week
You may:
- Listen to the music (recommended to get into the mood )
- Report any time during the week in this thread
- Ask questions in this thread
- Give tips in this thread or a thread of the other BC-Groups
If you learn anything new that you think is valuable to others, you are encouraged to post this inside the Tips-Section.

In your Report at the end of the week please state if you were successful completing the week or not. If yes, I am going to move your name to the next week. If no you can either stop or give yourself more time. However, I am not going to take care of you anymore in terms of moving you name further. You have to organise yourself then but can still use this thread.

Each week starts on thursday morning and ends on wednesday evening. Use your local time.

Thta's about it as general information goes.

The link to the BC one more time:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/djbc.pdf
or word Version:
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/djbc.doc

There you will find each weeks reading material, music picks and exercises. I am just going to repeat the exercises in short form in this threads.

Exercises:
1) Ten 2 to 10 min conversations with strangers.

Good luck DJs!


Group Points at the beginning of the week: 8

 

[rushing dude 123]

I am probablly going have to attempt to finish 10 convos with strangers on tuesday because well not good idea to b trying to pick up chicks on my exam days. Have fun on week 2 guys and try to make sure that some of the the strangers u approach r HB's because it will warm u up for week 3.

Looks like the groups have halved,which i expected to happen, but i thought HBK, miguel and a few others got through?

 

[Heart Break Kid]

We did, I PM'd Quik about it but I will fix it now. Not sure what he's up to.

Anyhow here are my experiments from thread 1 which was suggested by Pathetik here:

You could try :

- approaching or hit&run with compliments ("Wow nice hair", "wow nice dress" etc...)

- approaching with neg hit ("I don't like the color of your dress, blue will make your eyes look better" etc...)

It's copy/pasted.
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Yesterday I went to a party on campus so I tried Pathetik's suggestions. I tried to do most of them before the girls started drinking because that would skew the results.

Compliments, I found are really not as bad as you might think. They are actually pretty good at starting conversations. The problem I found is in at least half the interactions they lead directly to rapport (skipping attraction). For example I approached an HB8 and said nice earings (I'm quite sure she's heard it before.) The conversation after earings usually lead to her either complimenting me back (this would have been a good time to tease her for wanting to get in my pants) or her asking what my name is / where I'm from / who my friends are. Basically I found compliments, while reasonably good at opening seem to lead almost directly to the friend zone. Type two compliments are a bit better (I would cold read something about her personality which worked better than a material compliment) in the sense that she seemed more interested to talk.

Negs on the other hand I found quite the opposite. I approached a single HB7.5 and told her I liked her shirt as my friend's mom had the same one and it seemed to me like she would never wear it again. I continued to tease her however (saying my buddy's mom is a really cool mom who listens to hip-hop, etc.) Attraction was really easy and I kept her laughing about herself for a good while. Then I told her it was so sad she was laughing at herself and when she looked serious I laughed and told her I was joking that it was pretty funny and it takes a confident women to do it. Then when she was flushed I told her "But it's still pretty sad" and she punched my arm. Easy # close.

Negs I usually sprinkle into the conversation, with HB8.5+'s. Contrary to what Mystery says I found I never had to open them with negs but I did try a compliment and man did it fail miserably. I told an HB9 nice nails and she did not even get off the phone, she just stuck her hand out for me to inspect. Wow, I am not used to being burned like that but it was fun.

Next I approached an HB8.5 with a cold read compliment (I said she had a nice "air" to her.) She asked me if I was serious but she was laughing at (I'm taking an educated guess here) how stupid my opener was. I knew if I said no outright I would kill the conversation and if I said yes it would probably result in friend zone or something equally dull at best. Bearing this in mind I stopped smiling, looked her directly in the eye and said "Actually I just wanted to get your number so we could go out Friday night." I said it as confidently as I could and I am sure I caught her off guard because of my stupid compliment.

Then she said she had a boyfriend. Ugh. So I smiled and told her it was a pleasure meeting her. However as I was walking away she called to me to wait, I said why and she said her number. I turned back and asked her what about her boyfriend. She said they "aren't getting married or anything you know." She said we should call to confirm Friday afternoon and I called her on it immediantly. I told her there's no point as she'll either be there or she won't. She gave me her home number too after that.

Anyhow, hope someone found these experiments interesting. I do use a couple of techniques but I try to keep it simple and really all these come down to are confidence and no fear of rejection if you think about it.

Sarge on guys !

 

[Heart Break Kid]

wow pretty nice hbk, i didn't expect her to call u back after u left when she said she had a bf, i thought it would of been better to jus say something like "thats awesome ill take u two out some time". I guess i was wrong or maybe u just got lucky or other circumstances like ur confidence was to strong she could not leave without u taking her number. Either way i guess i have to do a few experiments of my own to find out.

Haha thank you, I did not expect it to happen but I will keep your line in case it happens again . Keep in mind however this is one out of many, most follow the general thread. However you can see the difference confidence makes. It saved me from a terrible compliment with tempo ! I also learned I am more than terrible at compliments.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Why am I not surprised that these would've been the only few who could go through with it...a simple 50 hi's...

Not that I knew too many about these posters, but I just had a feeling that they'd atleast try and go through with it...good luck though, hope you guys make it to week 8 I really want to be proven wrong that almost everyone will quit.

 

[Apostle IX]

HBK thats great bro I also wouldn't have thought she was going to do that either, I mostly try to go off of what I see at the moment and follow up from there instead of using some sort of technique

-----------------------------
I actually kinda started early on week 2 yesterday night went to the mall with some HBs which I ditched to go off on my own to do what ever I wanted

and I was able to get in 5 conversations with people, which a few were with people working in stores I could of easily walked out and not said a word

the first one was a HB:8 working after I was trying to get change out of my pocket I made a joke about how hard is is to always reach that last penny in your pocket and she laughed which I changed into how, it must suck having to work here all day she told me what time she got off work which I took as a IOI but I would be long gone before then, she mentioned how she wish she could work outside and we talked she said how she loved summer and the heat didn't # close but I could always go back to see her

Next I was buying a gift card for my dad for fathers day, the card was 6 bucks and I moaned how expensive the card was and that she was trying to rob me of my money. She mentioned how nice it was and I told her how anybody could do that so she said but look ill give you a special gold seal which I neg'ed on how it wasn't special and that she gives them to everybody and that I just saw her give one to the last customer.
Which then I over heard her friend saying to another person that she might want to start working mornings, so i switched over to her and told her no thats a horrible Idea, because its summer and your gonna want to go out and party then you gotta wake up for work in the morning. which I acted out how she would be in the morning a bit and all three of them laughed and then i left out.
While in another store I saw a kid with a wrestling shirt so I asked him if he wrestled which he did him and his friend so we started to talk about that for a good while about how our teams did in the year etc

the girls I was with had texted and called me wondering where I had disappeared to I I came back to them chatted and we left

After I went to old navy and was able to get in another quick convo with a clerk who looked like she was in a bad mood so when she told me I had 6 dollars left on my gift card I raised my ands and said yay a whole 6 dollars to get what she laughed and tried to find what I could buy and she said 2 pairs of flip flops which I then replied which leaves me with what a dollar to get ( i forgot what I said) but she laughed and I told her to have a good night in which she was in a much better mood then.

good luck to the rest of you guys keep it up

 

[Heart Break Kid]

Hey Apostle, the stuff I posted was for fun. I finished on the 24th and am well over 90 hi's now. The last post was just a social experiment. See: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1418729&postcount=25
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1419043&postcount=27

I think Miguel and Orange Crusader will be joining us too.

---------------------------

Anyhow I like your approach style, it seems very laid back and really funny. I really respect how even though this weeks goal is to talk to strangers, you are going after HB's when you see them instead of avoiding on purpose for old people and whatnot. I'll rep you for that if I have not repped you already. Approaching women, And HB8's at that already !

And wow, six dollars?!

 

[Apostle IX]

Yea I know you were just testin stuff out but still it takes guts to go out there and do it.

 

[OrangeCrusader]

Hey guys, I'm in too, updates the Week 1 thread and decided to hop in here.

I lack AIM, but I'll download it tonight and join the rest here, but for now I've gotta go out for more job hunts, and gym after. Hope to get a convo or two in today, as I've done a few in the first week already and they've been pretty easy and fun, so this is just putting a little more effort into that part of it, easy peasy.

Pretty sure we're in the lead here guys, let's keep it up!

 

[Pathetik]

Héhéhé really good input HBK !
You did a great job !

 

[Miguel]

Hey, guys. I'm surprised that so many of us in group blue stormed the DJ beaches and made it out okay. Congrats. Anyways, I got a question... how do you figure out common ground for conversation. It's really hard. I mean, we can do the questions back forward thing, but it kinda doesn't feel so... suave. I wanna have intresting conversations, not forced fake ones.

 

[Erasmus]

One conversation yesterday -- buying groceries at a Safeway, was in a lane without anyone else. Me and the cashier (HB8) chatted for a little while, just fluffing. Hired guns are much easier to chat with than randoms -- I think that I'm going to try and stick to random people from now on.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Hey, guys. I'm surprised that so many of us in group blue stormed the DJ beaches and made it out okay. Congrats. Anyways, I got a question... how do you figure out common ground for conversation. It's really hard. I mean, we can do the questions back forward thing, but it kinda doesn't feel so... suave. I wanna have intresting conversations, not forced fake ones.

I am not sure for everyone else, but this is what works for me, I never say to anyone "whats up" or "how r u" because to b honest do u really care. Instead i'll say something like "what did u do today" and probs add a bit of c+f like "let me guess shoe shopping for 5 hours". I think fake convos r jus created because ur being to nice, i think the main ingredient for a interesting convo is "c+f". Ask her questions ur actually interested in knowing with maybe a bit of "c+f" to spice it up, like idk she could be in running gear and sitting on the bus "u do know the whole point of running is......running right?". If ur really stomped about something her age or assume something like where she works because of what shes wearing mention it to her.


O yes and i remember something else b mysterious, when she asks ur age say "guess". If shes asking where u work "hm what do u think i do" or something extreme like "i am a porn star" or other way round "i work in mcdonalds and i am loving it" haha.

btw 2/10 so far going go libary or youth hostel to study for my exams.

 

[Miguel]

Thanks man, thats so simple it's genius. Man, your one ****y funny bastard. You see my major problem with this exercise is not really the who rejection thing... I mean, who gives a **** if a random person blows you off. I've pretty much death wounded my approach anxiety now. But my thing 'was' how to move from A - b - c smoothly. And I think I'm starting to get an idea. First of all, comming in directly with how are you doesn't work because you go to that deafult 'nice guy' conversation... and we all know how 'fun' that is. So if were never gunna see these people again, why not smash them right off the bat with a neg? I mean, if their offended we can just cross out with "hey, it was nice meeting you... but I really have to go water my cat." Or something else... maybe less insulting. (lol, never I say.) But your absolutely right RushingDude123 we can open with whatever, but we have to act fast or else we are gunna crash into the friends zone. Neg and be ****y and funny. It's a must.

Also, i've done 1/10 of the random convos... this week is gunna be much harder then the last because of the whole keeping things moving alone idea. But I'll try my best... and definately succeed.

Anyways, on a side not, last night I was at this local club/coffee shop... pretty cool night, but still I decided I wanted to zone out and watch the music for a bit because I was getting pretty bored with the social scene. (I kinda tend to get bored with people I know too long.) So this one girl starts getting into a convo with her friends in front of me and I can't see the band. She's quite good looking, so I decide to call her on her ****.

So I'm like: "hey, I can't see the band... you realize your being annoying" (Very seriously.)

Her: (sincererly) Oh, I'm sorry... I can move out of your way.
Me: Nah, all you have to do is crowtch down a bit.

She here, she starts ducking down a bit and I start motioning with my hands for her to go lower and lower till she's pratically sitting on the ground. I chuckle and turn to her friends and say "man, she's eager to please? how do you guys stand it?" the group laughs and I notice a friend in the set and enter. I kinda fell apart quick. but for a while I was getting lots of IOI. This stuff is dynimite guys.

 

[Heart Break Kid]

I have a friend who's a master at conversation. I asked him how and he says if you are curious about anything at all, ask it. Making fun of her lightly is my favourite.

 

[Pathetik]

Mouhhahahahahaha Miguel you're a genius!
really nice one

 

[Heart Break Kid]

Hey, thanks Pathetik. Glad you liked it !
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Anyway, last night I had to rush out to the airport (sorry Miguel), because my older sister's flight got in later than was expected (see, now it's mine who's causing problems !) She's here from Paris on vacation since she's been all over Europe. Anyhow she brought a friend with her and I wasn't aware of that. An HB8, very natural, no makeup.

I had quite a few conversations with her yesterday night, her english is actually pretty good, much better than my sis who has no intention of learning english and she's pretty funny for an HB. She knows some people who used to live in Montreal so she's going to see them tomarrow and asked me to come with them. This to me sounds like an excellent way to finish the conversations so I'll report back then.

As for now I'm going to replace all the wine with cheap booze so my sis stops confusing it with water.

1/10

 

[rushing dude 123]

nicely done phat, but this cb friend u had, wasn't she giving u social proof which in a way should of helped ur game by being a pivot and if u and her r just friends wouldn't she of been comfortable with u number closing just before u left?

Has for my day i started talking to some dude whilst going to my friends house and we were both walking the same way, the convo flowed pretty naturally like old buds even though we just met.This is a huge improvement from the awkwardness of my approaches the first time i attempted this exercise.

Then i went libary and saw a chick sitting on a table by herself, i sat a few seats next to her, got my books out and saw she was studying physics at GCSE, So i opened with "i thought at that level u didn't study physics individually but just has apart of science", she explained how at the college she did it at done it individually, but the next level she would only have to study one year instead of two. Anyways after she said she had problems with one area so i decided to help her. For some reason she ends up teaching me, but i pick up quickly and the student becomes the teacher again lol.

I kept teasing her when i got the answers right and she got it wrong by punching her arm lightly and saying "O ur not such a smartie pants now" Then i change subject a bit and then she starts asking me all this questions about my life and what i do. We talk a bit about her family seeing she has 7 siblings and then libary is closing and she refused to do last question which i set up for her.

RD: omdz how can u quit on the last question, do it
HB: haha no its closing i am bailing
RD: gah forget it i have lost interest in u
HB: lol ill answer it when i get home
RD: ok ok i let u off, whats ur name?
HB:HB and u
RD: RD, well anyways i got to go, but id like to stay in touch whats ur number.
HB: i don't have a number except my house phone, but ill take ur number.
RD: So u don't have msn or anything?
HB: yes i do (she writes it down), whats ur number
RD: Well u don't really need it now, but here.
*kisses her on cheek and exits has she says bye*

Hm things i think i could of done different probs of gone for the home number when she mentioned thats the only one she had and i think it would of not been wise to giv her my number ,well not with a comment like "Well u don't really need it now, but here" at least.

I posted that approach so i don't make the same mistake twice.

4/10

 

[Sexual]

Hey can you let me catch up and get in on this? I've never gotten past the 5th week before, which I think is the one with get rejections. I just read the first week two days ago and I'm experienced enough to not have to do the first week. I could catch up and start week three with everyone. Just fill me in with a PM on how you guys are working this. Thanks!

 

[Apostle IX]

was able to get in two more convos yesterday night one with a older lady and a guy in the same place

First was with the older lady when my female friend that was with me ordered some food I neg'd her on how she never eats even though she always says she does nothing but eat, I asked the lady next to us shouldn't she eat more and how she was a twig which went on for a while and then she said good evening and she left then later.

A bigger guy came in and walks right up to the lady and asks for 2 sandwiches, and she says you order down there I knew the employee and always joke wit her and I turn to the guy and im like its just like her to do that always waiting for you to order and then tell you to go down there. So then we started talking for a good 20 minutes before he had to go aswell found out he works for the post office and some other interesting stuff.