DJBC - Hopefully the kind of thing I need to do after my breakup

[Roxas]

I broke up with my fiancee (I'm only 17 right now, proposed last year at 16... bad decision, but she said yes.) We got each other rings too.

Anyways, before her I was dating 3 girls at a time and I'm said to say that was probably my peak. Something seemed really special about her, so I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. She was special, but she was also reeeaaaallllyyy needy, and we fought a lot. So I broke up with her, which I still believe was the correct decision.

Ever since then I've been struggling to get my courage back.. :/ getting girls never used to be a problem, and it seems way harder than it should be. I'm really hoping I can get a little support from people, so that's why I wanted to sign up for the forum.

I did the Don Juan Boot Camp once before, and that was when the time when I was dating 3 girls at once (like 2 years ago). I'm hoping to get even more success than that. I didn't make an account, though, I just did it.

Can anybody tell me how it works if I am going to write about my successes? And give me a few exercises I can do to get back into the groove?

Thanks!
Roxas

 

[Bling]

You were probably pretty lucky the first time. In statistics there's what's called 'significant sample sizes'. Just because you did it once, doesn't mean you'll ever achieve that again. There's plenty of good looking guys with game here that fail miserably all the time. Enjoy that you reached that point, but recognize that you're going to have put in a lot more work if you want to reach that goal. It isn't going to just come to you again. Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but the truth is that you need to get your head right about this breakup, then you can worry about being a DJ again.

 

[sexysuave]

Well you can write "Field Reports" of when you go out into "the field", or your area of meeting women, and tell us how everything developed.

As far as tips, not sure exactly where you're at right now.

You might want to start small and just go out every day or a few times a week and talk to a few people and start up conversations.

Once you're comfortable with that, start getting chicks phone numbers.

Make sure you follow up on each one of the phone numbers and try to set up something. Get crazy and try anything and everything, different things will work for different folks, and also on different girls.

Use momentum to your advantage. In other words, lets say you get a girls phone number, you will get this amazing great confident feeling. USE that feeling and IMMEDIATELY proceed to talk to other girls (once you leave this girl of course lol) and try to get their numbers as well. You are most likely to get a number after you recently picked one up and you have this aura of confidence about you.

And FOLLOW UP on ALL your numbers! Too many guys become just "number collectors" and don't call or text like half of their contacts. The point of getting "leads" is to follow up on them lol. So make sure you try to set somethign up with EACH of these girls.

This is stricly advice to get you started in dating. You also want to make sure you have a life. Usually this is when you will get the most girls. Have friends, activities and things you do, also go work out and work on sculpting your body as it is not only healthy, but it will do nothing but help you attract chicks. Plus it will automatically make you more confident and makes your posture better.

Develop strong traits, confident eye contact, dont' let anyone punk you ever, especially at your age, make sure you build up your reputation as someone who is a cool ass dude, but also not to be messed with. Don't be afraid to get in a fight if you have to (in other words, stand up for your self, no matter what). You usually only have to fight like once or twice, after that, people will "know" not too take you for granted lol.

If you have a younger sister, you might have a slight advantage in how to treat some of these girls you'll be dating. Treat them as your "little bratty sister", in other words, you LOVE her, but she is kinda annoying and you tease her and make fun of her. If you learn to do this correctly, you will go a long way.

Never be afraid to make a move on a chick, and if you are in a position to do so, (you and her alone somewhere) always "go for it". You only regret what you never try, and a lot of times not trying to seal the deal when the chance is presented will close that door for good, (sometimes forever).

Even try to make a move if you don't "feel it's there", you'll be surprised that when you TAKE THE LEAD, people will often follow. Girls may not have even been THAT into you, but after you kiss them they may change their mind. Your "bold" move may spark something inside of them and light up a flame. I've done dozens of silly experiments with different ways of kissing girls (usually girls I have just recently met) and found out that you can be really playfull with it sometimes and you can start kissing a girl shortly after meeting her. Hell, I've even confidently looked girls in their eyes, and then mouth and either said "can I kiss you?" (dont' get me wrong, this is not a wimpy, shaking, "ummm, can I kiss you" lol) this is a confident "experiment" can I kiss you, and the few times I've done this line girl would usually say no, (and maybe smile) but I would go in and kiss them anyway. I ended up dating one of these girls for a while and she said that when she said "no" and I kissed her anyway, confidently, "something" inside of her happened LOL.

If a girl you don't know or you just met, asks you to get her something, or buy her a drink, or "popcorn" or whatever the case may be based on your venue, say "give me a kiss first". If she says "no, buy me a drink" you say "give me a kiss first". If she laughs and giggles and says "noooo, silly, common, get it for me" just don't budge but be like, "ok, just kiss me first" and she may give you a peck on the cheek or on your lips and then be like "oh no missy, none of that middle school stuff , kiss!" (and make your lips ready for it). LOL, I've done this at clubs and ended up MAKING OUT with girls that I didn't even know or talk to other then answering their "buy me a drink" with "well give me a kiss". My friends would just stare and ask "how the HELL could that happen?" lol, but you will be SURPRISED how many girls will start making out with you over something silly like this. After that, it's up to you. You can proceed to make good on your promise and "buy them a drink" (or wahtever), or you may not lol. Honestly, I've played around with it a lot. Sometimes I just laugh and say "ahahha, I can't believe you fell for that", or sometimes I would say "ummm, your kiss wasn't quite satisfactory, we'll need to work on that in order to get you a drink" or anything you may want to say lol. And yes, sometimes they'll be like "jerk!!" and walk away, and other times they may keep making out with you and eventually you just take them away and take them somewhere lol. Just don't talk too much in these instances, as you're likely to ruin the mystery and excitement you have built up, just do kino and kissing until you're at a safe zone to proceed further. If they try talkign too much just be brief and mysterious with your answers but sound confident. For example, her: "where are we going", you: "non't even worry, I have this under control, you'll find out soon enough" and plant another kiss on her. Trust me, going into a life story about your self in a situation like this will ruin the mood faster than you can say "cookie" .

Ok, damn it, I'm getting off topic again and writting too much, I'll stop. But start off with the first few steps, get a life and start conversations with people and start getting numbers, and proceed from there. Remember, baby steps, and focus on one thing at a time, but KEEP improving and advancing. And always "go for it", when in any doubt. Regret is your biggest enemy, you DO NOT want to regret not talking to that girl and asking her number, do you? Well then "just do it" and go approach her and say ANYTHING, just open your mouth and talk. Your body will have to respond lol. Just go for it and be confident and whip out your phone after a few minutes or even a minute, and say "what's your phone number" if she hesitates for even a second start typing in the area code and reading it out loud, prompting her to FOLLOW you, so "ok, 4.0.8......." and most of the time she will dish out the rest of the digits..

ok ok, I'm done.. keep us updated..

 

[Roxas]

Bling:

No dude, I'll take your word for it. I've thought of significant sample sizes repeatedly, and it crushed me. I listen to people who are more experienced than me, assuming they make sense and they're not bent on destroying me. You were actually trying to help.

At the same time, I think it's been a long enough time from the breakup that I've already begun to think clearly. I do need to get over her, and for the most part I have. She's like the feeling you get after wearing a watch. It lingers and can even be comfortable, even though it's not there.

But with all due respect, it's about God damn time I became a Man. I'm finally beginning to come to grips with reality, and begun to own what I do in my job, and I've just graduated from high school. I won't be returning to school in the fall so I can save up money for an education in medicine. I'm even doing my own laundry, cleaning my room, and if my family hasn't cooked then I'll make something. I've stepped up in every area of my life so far except women. It's about time I did.

I don't need any more time to think. I need more time getting my **** together.

I really appreciate the response, though.

-----

sexysuave:

I just refreshed the page while writing this and saw your response. Thanks!

I hope what I just wrote is an indication of where I'm at. But, I also do have a reputation as a badass.

I'm still seen as a player, despite not living up to my previous standards.

I've also been in lots of fights, and I used to be a martial arts instructor. When I was in school I became a "celebrity". I struggle to say celebrity cuz I don't wanna sound arrogant, but I had a huge reputation for being able to fight. I was easily the toughest kid in the school. I was also one of the most respectful people, but known to have a temper if somebody crossed me.

I can also use a lot of weapons. My favourite is the nunchucks (nunchaku... whatever) because it's my best weapon. I've done nunchuck demos in front of crowds of 500+, and street performed with them downtown.

Right now I'm training for fighting competitions. Sidenote: I've been training in martial arts since I was 5. I've been in Kung Fu, Judo, and Karate schools. I've also trained with 2 Stikeforce fighters, one was a former Canadian Olympic Wrestler, one relatively high-level (brown?) Ninjutsu student from New Jersey, and a TKD black belt from England.

I also do have a younger sister, and she's actually seen that I've changed, and actively tries to help me. We've managed to get along now. We're only a couple years apart, so we understand each other pretty well. Recently, she got me to come to a party with her and her friend (immediate social proof), and I was easily the alpha and not the guys who set the party up. She also ****blocked me there unintentionally... I was going to hook up with a girl there, but I was looking after her (promised my mom) and she didn't want to go yet. I was too much of a ***** to get a number, so we just added each other on Facebook. That's definitely my bad.

What really resonated with me about what you wrote was, "even if it's not there" because I feel that a lot so I haven't pushed it.

I believe I've gotten all the basics out of the way. I have good fashion and a cool haircut, good body language, and I can read other peoples' actions and determine more or less what they're thinking. I'm also generally confident and don't take ****.

But I'm discouraged that I don't ever truly close anymore... I'm just that cool guy that never gets anywhere. Adding a girl on Facebook afterwards just seems like I'm cheating myself. I also can't approach as confidently (and consequently, as often, or effectively) as I used to. I felt like I was on a cloud breezing through each set, but now it feels like a struggle to even get through most conversations.

Thus, this led me again to the DJ Bootcamp. I thought I had a handle on it on my own, but I've learned I'm not always that reliable.. So I wanted help. I don't want anymore regret..

Your steps also sound exactly sound like what I need. Get a life, start conversations, get numbers, etc. Lol, I'm working on it.

I'll keep you updated. I'll do it in the same fashion as it says. "Write a field report once a week". I don't want to become any more addicted to the internet.