DJ MARKET - when people tell you what you want to hear....

[Delta]

it just dawned on me (even though i've said things to this effect before) - really dawned on me - how much of the dj community is now in part a MARKET. even "free" resources are plastered with ads. right?

and that many of the promises of massive success with women is connected to e-books, tapes, video products of every imaginable form.

think about that: they are promising you massive success....

and there are LOTS of marketing schemes based on that very notion. it is in fact the foundation upon which SCAMS work.
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then again, religions and philosophy also offer advice for life improvement. and while the cynical among us would equate them with a sales pitch as well (and probably not entirely inaccurately), they have lots to offer us... ideas that predate science and psychology and many which have not been explained... and yet, they seem to work...

the simple result of thousands of years of human observation and trial and error.
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the reality of it all may be a prosaic realization that just as not everyone is cut out to be a scientist, or cop, or linebacker, not everyone will be cut out to be a dj. but that a different picture of romantic success still exists for everyone - even if it may not be a picture perfect, high budget porno version.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MOVE PRODUCT.

as i said, many of the ideas and certainly the HOPE floating around is valuable. but i exhort you all to be leery of handing over your hard earned money.

those of us who NEED this stuff are the most desperate, the most susceptible, and therefore the easiest of prey. be aware of that.

use the many free resources out there on the web like sosuave. and also turn a critical mind to it all... "if it's too good to be true...."

but realize also that there are indeed hucksters out there that will prey on the misery of others... as there have been throughout history.

many will seek to leech you. turn about is fair play. leech as much value as you can with a discerning eye and try not to pay a cent.

delta

 

[The Truth]

I'm with you on that!

 

[Tomatoes]

Everything you need to succeed isnt in a book, relgion or other form of deity.

Its all within yourself.



Sarge On!

 

[Delta]

if that were true, wouldn't everybody be "actualized"?

i think the reality is that we all DO need education and help. but when that education comes not at the price of a book (<$20) or found free at a temple, church or synagogue - when the price comes at $50 a pop and up, over SEVERAL "PRODUCTS" and when the promises are exactly the things that we are desperate to hear....

that's when we should be cautious and keep our wallets well buried.

delta

 

[Bvbidd]

It's all fake.

 

[Triumph]

good post, I have been in this community for a few years spents lots of money. The free stuff is all you realy need, the other stuff is just good entertainment. We all already have all we need inside ourselfs, we just need to brush off some social programing let go of our ego and control our emotions. if you can do that you are a rare find for any woman.

 

[Delta]

haha.... this all brings to mind the quote from "the princess bride":

life is pain. anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something.

delta

 

[The Juan and only]

Ah yes, I have often considered this myself.

Do these gurus really know? or are they just clever salesmen with a theory?

I believe that, at least in the beginning, gurus really did go out with the intention of solving women -- and I think the advice they brought back was invaluable. Sadly, this phenomenon has grown to such an extent that many copycat "experts" have burried the real-life experiences under a cacophony of, shall we call them KBJ mentalities.

You know, all the time I see people on this board posting about how its all looks/all money/whatever, but I dare them to go into the world and see things with their own eyes. I am telling you now, that from my experiences, the material has made a big difference to my success -- ah, but is that related to the techniques? or merely improved confidence... or even just the fact of getting older? -- am I really seeing a sh1t test, or is that just my mind bending the world around me to fit my beliefs? I think, in some cases yes, in some cases, no.

But I know one thing, somewhere within the masses of rubbish, is golden advice, and some of it will help you, it will help you a lot.

So, is it personality? is it looks? is it money? IT'S ALL OF IT. At the end of the day, everything matters -- but we can compensate for our failings by improving in other areas.

I guess I'm saying that a lot of PUA stuff does, or at least seems, to work. And am I trying to sell you something? naa (unless you want my latest E-book for a mere £9.99 /jk ).


p.s Ultimately, if you want to know, I mean if you really want to know whether something will work for you. Go and try it; and don't give up until you've explored every possibility.

 

[Delta]

But I know one thing, somewhere within the masses of rubbish, is golden advice, and some of it will help you, it will help you a lot.

thanks for iterating this point clearly for me.

agree absolutely. some of it is indeed not only viable, but genuine truth.

but just try to get it for free from the community and other open sources.

in my mind, $15 for a good book is worth it. $200 for a video set or thousands for a seminar - that's when we have jumped into the world of salesmanship.

they've learned their lessons of seductions well and they're applying it to the consumer masses. can't blame them for their entrepreneurial spirit.

but neither are you obligated in help making them rich.

delta

 

[Delta]

oh, also, yeah, sometimes you wonder what part of all the advice and strategems and techniques ACTUALLY END UP WORKING!

there's so much of it that sometimes, it can seem like just throwing everything and seeing what sticks.

personally, i think that it may indeed be that the most valuable piece of advice is simply:

GET OUT THERE AND TRY!

and the difference between guys with women in their lives and guys without are that the first group goes out and the second stays in and has surrendered.

delta

 

[everywomanshero]

It isn't that gurus are doing anything wrong, it's that the attitudes and beliefs are hard for some guys to adopt.

A man really has to be able to block out the bullsh1t to get what he wants when first starting out. No PUA in the world can *force* that to happen, especially by way of CDs or Internet. If you go to a psychologist but refuse to cooperate with the treatment, it will never work. If you won't allow surgery, fake taking meds, and lie during therapy, then the odds aren't good. The same, if you listen to new attitudes and beliefs, but refute them logically, it won't change.

Then you have the guys who say don't change anything -- just be the way you are, if you were a terrible math student -- would you refuse a tutor and just stgay they way you are? This is so riddled with wishful thinking.....
.
It is somewhat annoying that more and more guys try turning what could easily fit on 2 CDs into a spanning set of 10 different programs. Mostly PUAs give out their best stuff very early, their belief systems and basic method of operation.

PUAS can't make you stop shifting your weight from leg to leg. They can;t make you stop fidgeting with your hands. They can't make you stop dressing like a momma's boy. They can't make you speak up. They can't make you feel relaxed and care-free. Mostly you have to do it all on your own, they can only give pointers for what to improve. The changing is almost entirely up to the individual. SO, I think the Gurus can lay out some useful beliefs and attitudes, but that is about the extent of it. It's like they give you 10% of the business plan, the basic overview. You have to fill in the other 90% of the details.

 

[Delta]

right... and that's only worth so much.

as i say, $15 seems about right to me.

delta