DJ destroyed while drinking w/ gf

[Finch]

Hey guys,

I haven't been here in awhile because I've really been doing well with the ladies and just life in general. I've been with my current girlfriend, who is a hot babe 8.5, for just about 6 months now. We've been doing great and have really fallen in love with one another. She's even admitted to me that she can see herself married to me. The relationship is a very positive thing for both of us.

Well last night I was out with my girlfriend and we picked up a bottle of Bacardi Gold and got trashed last night. We both rarely ever drink so we thought it'd be fun to get trashed together again (we've done it several times before). Well anyway.. I don't know what came over me last night but I got sloshed and good thing I was in a sharing emotional mood last night. I started telling her all kinds of crazy **** that I should slap myself for. I told her that I was insecure because I was worried about losing her. I told her a whole bunch of things like that.

I don't think it really has had an immediate negative impact on our relationship, but she's treating me different. Not like in a bad way.. but she's just trying to be real reassuring. For example telling me that she loves talking to me and asking to make sure that I know that.

So I don't think it's been a horrible thing, but I feel like I lost some of my dignity and I lost that suave DJ confidence that is so important.

How can I bring myself back after this and reclaim my status as a don juan? I want her to think of me as confident and cool, not some emotional wreck that is worried about losing her because that is not what I am.

 

[frivolousz21]

well...just be strong..dont bring it up again....
she wont leave you.....so dont worry about that.


if you can spin it in a different light then go for it.

but dude after 6 months you shouldnt worry of that anyways.
keep good communication as well.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

You brought it up, now hide it away and don't ever let it get out again.

Doing it once won't hurt you. She will be aware that there are more layers to you than she thought, and that can be a good thing. She will be reassuring, if she loves you. Just don't act insecure at all. ever

The trick now will be to confuse her..... you said one thing but act as if nothing bothers you... which is what you should be doing, anyways. I love the saying "Never let 'em see you sweat".

I wouldn't worry about this. Alcohol talks and if she was trashed as well, the convo probbaly is a bit foggy.

 

[flexion_]

Nothing good can come from trying to talk about it or whatever... just never bring it up again and continue on with your happy relationship.

 

[BrotherAP]

Originally posted by Finch
How can I bring myself back after this and reclaim my status as a don juan? I want her to think of me as confident and cool, not some emotional wreck that is worried about losing her because that is not what I am.

If you're not worried about losing her, then what's the point of this post?

The whole idea of detachment is limited - you can't be completely detached from a girl 100% of the time. At some point you actually need to show her some affection so that she is fullfilled from the relationship. The point is that you can't need her more than she needs you or else you're giving her the ability to take advantage of you. Relationships work best when both people need each other the same amount.

People say that you can't tell her that you care about her because you're not being a challenge - well they're misunderstanding what a challenge relaly is. Being a challenge is about making hard decisions in spite of how you feel. You don't have to be emotionally unavailable to be a challenge, you just have to be firm in what you will and will not accept in a relationship. If a girl knows that kissing that guy from work means that you will drop her and move on with your life, she'll be much more inclined to stay loyal than if she knows she can cheat and apologize and you guys will "rebuild" your relationship.

So at the beginning being a challenge meant that she had to wonder if she had you or not - in other words, she's watching herself to make sure she doesn't scare you off. Later, she obviously knows you care about her, but she also knows that she has to treat you right or you'll be gone.

So, in other words, she knows that you care about her a lot, and as long as she cares about you too then you have nothing to worry about.

 

[DumpaLumpagus]

Originally posted by Finch
How can I bring myself back after this and reclaim my status as a don juan? I want her to think of me as confident and cool, not some emotional wreck that is worried about losing her because that is not what I am.

Patience, and Time.

 

[DumpaLumpagus]

I will refer you to this thread I read in the DJ "bible" ...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16770

 

[frivolousz21]

So, in other words, she knows that you care about her a lot, and as long as she cares about you too then you have nothing to worry about.

exactly!

 

[Bible_Belt]

Sending a mixed message could include rare and isolated afc moments.

 

[BackToTheMack]

Its always that one moment those few little words that f**k up everything. Consider not drinking with ehr again so you can always stay ontop of your game.

 

[Finch]

Thanks for all the advice guys. I'm sure it's really nothing.. maybe we shouldn't hang out with bacardi for awhile.. haha. Thanks again guys.

 

[frivolousz21]

Its all good!

you are all good!

 

[white_hype]

you are looking at the situation wrong. You should worry about why you would EVER say that... the reason you said it is because you belive those things to be true about yourself, youre priority NEEDS NEEDS NEEDS to be eliminating those beliefes. Once you have 100% confidence you will expereince a life like you've never dreamed of