DJ Bootcamp week #1 F.A.Q.

Ever onward

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My fellow DJ's-in-training, I've attempted bootcamp before and I've made it as far as week four. I only stopped because I made the mistake of becoming exclusive with one of the girls I was dating. ;)

I would like to share with you the knowledge that I've gained. Here are some Frequently Asked Questions.

Also, feel free to contribute to this thread and discuss.

Does the bootcamp really work?

YES!

As I said earlier, I attempted bootcamp last fall and I stuck to it religously for 4 weeks. I amazed myself. I never in my life thought I could approach a girl or be as social as I have become. But in order for this to work, you have to commit to this program and you have to complete the exercises. It's up to you but this really can make your life better. Take action for once in your life!

Week # 1 seems pretty simple, can I skip it?

NO!

1. If you skip the most simple part of the bootcamp, you will start taking other shortcuts and skip other steps. In order for this to work you have to follow the bootcamp EXACTLY.

2. If you follow the program and stick to it, you will start to gain mental momentum. You will feel a positive energy build in yourself that will stay with you going into the more difficult weeks.

3. If you can't even say hi to people or make eye contact, how are you going to talk to them later in the bootcamp?


EYE CONTACT EXERCISE:

I feel weird trying to get eye contact from strangers, won't they think I'm strange?


1. You don't know what other people are thinking. That is your own limiting belief. There is no way in the world you can possibly know what other people think of you so stop wasting your time and energy worrying about it. That's why you are doing this bootcamp, to shatter the limiting beliefs you hold about yourself.

2. Your goal here isn't to get acceptance or approval from the other person. You are doing this to make yourself toughen up so you can hold eye contact with people in actual social settings.

3. Everything you are doing in Bootcamp is for practice. You won't be "staring down" EVERYONE when this is over.

If someone is walking towards me, how soon should I make eye contact?

I find that if you make eye contact about 30 to 50 feet away. People will more often hold your gaze.

No one makes eye contact with me, or they look away right away, what should I do?

Like I said in the previous post, if they are walking towards you, start your eye contact sooner. If they look away, guess what? You are succeeding with the exercise. The point of the exercise is to hold the other person's eye contact LONGER than they hold yours.

SAYING HELLO TO 50 STRANGERS:

How do I keep track of the 50 hello's?

I carry a small, pocket-sized notebook with me in my back pack just for Bootcamp. After every set of hi's, I write down, the date, location, and description of the girl. That's right I make my bootcamp harder by only counting hi's to girls I'm attracted to.

Who should I say hi to?

Anyone you choose to. But like I said, I say hi to everyone and only count HB's that I'm attracted to towards my 50 hi's. Whenever you have a doubt on something like this, go with the most challenging alternative.

Should I only say hi to girls/people that give me eye contact?

NO!

Say hi whether you first get eye contact or not. One of my most memorable hi's last fall was to an EXTREMELY HOT blonde girl that I approached from behind in Target. I said hi before she even knew I was there, then she turned around and said hi to me and gave me a smile that nearly made me cream in pants. Now go say hi, be a man stop being a pvssy.

Sometimes girls/people I say hi to don't say hi back, what am I doing wrong?

NOTHING!

If someone doesn't return your hi then who cares? You're not puting yourself "out there" that much. It's not like you asked anyone out, you just said hello! You were just being freindly. Some people are stuck up, or are *******s or bytches. Face it, the world has a lot of difficult people in it. But don't worry there are plenty of normal, social people out there who will have the decency to return a simple hello.

MISC.

Where should I do the exercises?


Any public place will work. The mall, stores, bookstores, campuses, Walmart, bars, clubs, parks. Exercise trails are great places for eye contact

Can I get by only doing the exercises with people walking towards me?

Sure if you want to take the easy way out. When people are walking towards you, making eye contact or saying hi is an easy shot to make. To really grow socially, you have to do what is most difficult FOR YOU, mix it up. Say hi to people sitting down or who aren't facing you, now that takes balls!

I'm too afraid of rejection to even say hello or make eye contact, what should I do?

BE A MAN! GRAB YOUR BALLS AND DO IT ANYWAY!!

It's never easy to overcome shyness. But every one of us needs to at some point. You just have to do it one step at a time and this is one way to do it. You have commited yourself to bootcamp, if you can't do it now, then when will you? Quit procrastinating. Make your life better today, one step at a time.

I don't feel like doing bootcamp exercises today. I'll do them tomorrow.

There is no tomorrow! There is only right now. "I'll do it tomorrow" always turns into "I'll do it next year". Fvck that, you could die tomorrow. You have to make your life better TODAY. RIGHT NOW!! One step at a time. Push yourself forward! You have to do the exercises, even when you don't feel like it, You have to do them ESPECIALLY when you don't feel like it. The only way to grow is to push yourself out of your comfort zone. If you're not comfortable doing something, congratulations! You're doing just fine.
 
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onyx

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good stuff..

i always thought you had to have eye contact at the same time as saying hello to a stranger. I got eye contact with some and was about to say hello, and they looked away so I didnt bother saying anything.

I'm suprised i even got 50 hellos with strangers last time around.
 

Ever onward

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i always thought you had to have eye contact at the same time as saying hello to a stranger. I got eye contact with some and was about to say hello, and they looked away so I didnt bother saying anything.
I get a lot of those "lookaways" too. A lot of times when they look away and I say hello, they look back, say hello and give a big smile. :D

I'm suprised i even got 50 hellos with strangers last time around.
When did you do the bootcamp, was it last fall with that big group of us who were doing it?

How far did you make it?
 

seroph

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Thanks a lot for posting this. Much appreciated!

-JP
 

LostinNJ

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I overcame my shyness long before I found this site (doh!), and I did it in a unique way.

I was known for the first 2.5 years in high school as the shy guy. I made plenty of friends, girls included, but I didn't get anywhere with it. However, every time I went to a party, I would start out somewhat quiet and "in the corner" so to speak. As I drank more, I got louder (I didn't start yelling at people, I started talking more to more people.) I would go up to girls and start conversations, which would often lead to "one thing leading to another." I thought I was the pimp everyone wants to be because I did this often. One day after a night of partying in which i had a ****ing blast because all of my good friends were there and it was Spring Break, I woke up feeling awesome. I didn't have a hangover, I woke up to 2 beautiful girls (the extra one just happened to pass out on the other side of me, I don't tell people though;) ) and I felt on top of the world. I left there, and stopped by the mall on the way home. I walked around, still on top of the world, and I saw a cute girl trying to decide between 2 pairs of jeans in Abercrombie. I started walking towards her, and she looked up, and like it was a reflex I turned 90* towards the guys section and kept walking. Thats when I realized that I wasn't as good as I thought. For a long time after that day in the mall I thought it was just because chicks liked to hook up with drunk guys. I had no idea, I was totally clueless. I continued to do the drunk hook up thing for a while, but the boring days led to depression. I wasn't suicidal or anything like that, I just wasn't happy with who I was. At the time I smoked pot socially, and a friend of mine had left his stash at my house, so I went for a drive around the block. I came back and just laid on my bed in the extremely clear state of mind that pot puts me in and thought about everything and anything. I must have laid there for 45 minutes or so just thinking about how much of a loser I was. Then it came to me, and it hit me like a brick wrapped in barbed wire to the face; girls don't hook up with me because they dig drunk guys, they hook up with me because they like who I am when I'm drunk, and when I'm drunk I just don't care what other people will think. How in the **** didn't I think of this before??? I was surprised at how simple the answer was. That was a Tuesday night, I remember it vividly considering my condition at the time. That Friday, I went to one of my usual parties, but this time I didn't drink (for a while anyways, lol). I approached a girl with my newfound confidence and said "hey, why don't you have a beer?" She responded "I haven't gotten over to the keg yet," with a 'why are you asking me this' tone. I normally just shrugged and walked away, but instead I said "Oh, well let's go get you one." From then on I just said the first thing that came to mind every time I felt like saying something. It worked like a charm. From that very night on, I had completely changed my outlook on girls and how to deal with them.

Moral of story: Don't just be yourself, be yourself confidenly. You have no idea how different things will be once you stop caring what other people will think.

Cliffs: "AFC" learns to be a "DJ" by getting drunk.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share my experience:)
 

Ever onward

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Then it came to me, and it hit me like a brick wrapped in barbed wire to the face; girls don't hook up with me because they dig drunk guys, they hook up with me because they like who I am when I'm drunk, and when I'm drunk I just don't care what other people will think.
Awesome awesome awesome. Every one of us should take this to heart.
 
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kav_3

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Wow ^ good story.

So i've signed up for boot camp and well i'm pretty nervous about this, since this something I would never do in a million years due to the fact i'm super shy, and so I decided I want to change this. So this seems like the perfect way to do it and I know if I follow this program with all the other guys doing boot camp and hopefully complete it will be worth it.
Well I was wondering about week ons excercise, I was thinking of going to the beach on friday with a friend of mine and start doing the 50 approches there to hot chicks, but the thing I was wondering is, do you just go up to them have eye contact and say hello and leave or what. I mean would you have a conversation as well or something because I mean the person might expect you to say something more, because it sort of seems like your a wimp if you just say hello and then walk off quickly before anything else happens, like your ejecting out of a plane before its even gotten into the air, if that makes any sense. I'm probably overanylizing this more than I should but it's something I can't help it since I feel like I need to plan things more than I should and just go with the flow which I have a hard time doing.
 

Ever onward

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So i've signed up for boot camp and well i'm pretty nervous about this, since this something I would never do in a million years due to the fact i'm super shy,
I know exactly what you mean. That is how I felt before I tried bootcamp.

the thing I was wondering is, do you just go up to them have eye contact and say hello and leave or what. I mean would you have a conversation as well or something because I mean the person might expect you to say something more, because it sort of seems like your a wimp if you just say hello and then walk off quickly before anything else happens
Remember what I said in the F.A.Q. You don't know what girls or anyone else thinks about you. Stop thinking for other people. You expect people to think the worst about you. That is YOUR limiting belief and this exercise is to make you get past that. For all you know, if you walk up to a girl and say hi and walk away...she might think "omg, that hot guy just talked to me! But why did he walk away? Did I do something wrong?" See there is no way you can know what people are thinking and it's useless to worry about it. If your going to do the thinking for people you may as well imagine they're thinking good things.

If you feel like talking to them, sure go ahead that's extra credit. But you aren't required to for this week. Right now the focus is just on getting you to approach people.

Also who is more "like a wimp" a guy that walks up to a girl and says hi confidently or a guy who doesn't even try? Remeber your not doing this to gain any acceptance or approval. You are doing this for YOU. Once you learn to be more social, it will come naturally for you.

I'm probably overanylizing this more than I should but it's something I can't help it since I feel like I need to plan things more than I should and just go with the flow which I have a hard time doing.
You are overanalyzing this. Shy people think or worry way too much. Just trust in the bootcamp.
 
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kav_3

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Yeah I understand what you mean Ever onward about how shy people overanalyze thing way more than they should, so yeah i'll not to think about what people are thinking and if I do, i'll try to think what they're thinking is positive. I find it sort of funny that something that should be so easy and natural to do is making that nervous, but i've got to make sure keep going and not quit.
 

So Many Ways

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I made it through the first 2 weeks, then I got I started classes, got sick and got a new job all at the same time.

Even just doing the first 2 weeks, it does wonders for your social confidence. I might do it again once my work schedule improves.
 

Mjfan12

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Originally posted by kav_3
Yeah I understand what you mean Ever onward about how shy people overanalyze thing way more than they should, so yeah i'll not to think about what people are thinking and if I do, i'll try to think what they're thinking is positive. I find it sort of funny that something that should be so easy and natural to do is making that nervous, but i've got to make sure keep going and not quit.
I also overanalyze WAY too much!

I want people to like me, but thats impossible because you cant please everybody. so you should just not care what they think as long as you feel good.


The hi thing for me will be a little tough, but it wont be as bad as week 2.

I'll start having trouble then. I mean I'll try to talk to hot girls, but I'll probably end up talking to strange guys since you can talk to anyone in week 2.


Its going to be real tough in the beginning since I never know what to say and I have lots of awkward pauses, but conversations are a learned technique and the more you do it, the better you'll get.

Im sure that once I get the hang of it, I'll be able to BS anything.

Its so sad that I dont even have the basic social skills yet. I just dont talk to new people at all.

Im about to change that.
 

LostinNJ

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If anyone in the NY/Northern Jersey area needs any help or company getting out of their "comfort zone," hit me up, I'll meet up with you and help you out:)
 

kav_3

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Hey mjfan1 I know how you feel especially about the conversation parts, I have trouble with that too, I hate not knowing what to say and then having those awkward pauses. Hopefully I end up going to the beach with a buddy of mine tomorrow and I can just get this stuff done there.
 

Ever onward

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Hey mjfan1 I know how you feel especially about the conversation parts, I have trouble with that too, I hate not knowing what to say and then having those awkward pauses. Hopefully I end up going to the beach with a buddy of mine tomorrow and I can just get this stuff done there.
Cool, I look forward to seeing how it goes. :)
 

Ever onward

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Just letting all you new guys know that a bunch of us who did the bootcamp created a web log ring specifically for bootcamp. Feel free to join and post there as well as here if you like.

DJ Bootcamp blog ring
 

RBB

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I'm done with week one but you've pointed out some great stuff still relevant to the following weeks. :up:
 

silenthill

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I read the bootcamp and was considering starting it soon. I was out in the courtyard today, and saw this girl sit down on the grass about 50 ft away. I sat there for 20min thinking how I should go about this and I kept telling myself, "better just do the bootcamp, don't even try now". Finnally I just went over and talked to her. We talked for about 10 min, pretty good stuff.

Then in my next class I got there early and a girl that I thought was hot sat down next to me. I just thought "what the hell am I scared of" and started talking to her. Things went awesome, after class I walked her to her car. The key is to just start things, as soon as I said the first word it became easy.
 

Channel your excited feelings into positive thoughts and behaviors. You will attract women by being enthusiastic, radiating energy, and becoming someone who is fun to be around.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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