divorced women

[phillyb]

good evening,

I recently started seeing this chck....shes 32 and recently divorced. we have been seeing one another for about 2 or 3 weeks. The sex is great, she usually comes to my place, as she is in between homes, living with her folks....any who, the sex has been great, and im diggin this girl......personalities click, etc.. long story short


she invited me to this party that she was helping to host. she got me a shirt to wear and all.......well my dumbass thought it would be a good idea to indulge in some rum and coke before i got there. So i got there already drunk, not stupid drunk, just tipsey. Anyways, i barely remember much of the night but, towards the end she took me to her hotel room and said she would be right back she had to close out her tab......I waited for what seemed forever, and said aww phuck it....grabbed a key and went back out to enjoy myself. Not long after she calls and wonders where I am.....i came back and we crashed. She thought i got mad and that was the reason i walked out, i assured her i want....i was just drunk and being stupid.

So the next morning she was non-receptive to my advances, and mentioned something about a previous convo we had, were she was at my house, and i suggested she stay(jokingly)....she said "i didnt think we were at that stage"......i told her were not and that i was just joking


so after laying in the hotel bed for a while, i couldn't sleep and said that i was gonna go, she said you dont have to.....but i went anyway thinking we would get together later today. She's going out of town tommorow morning. Through email i asked if she wanted to get together and she said she had a ton of stuff to do.....so i said cool....have a safe trip.


i just feel like i have blown it,...maybe im reading too much into it, maybe this is a test, or maybe im just a paranoid bahsahd! I dont know, it always seems to work this way with chicks i think i like......if it were any of my last 3 or 4 girls i could give a rats ass......


should i be concerned? is this a test?



thanks,

 

[Phyzzle]

should i be concerned? is this a test?

Is what a test? The fact that she has to get out of town?

Forget the test. The problem is, you've been dating for 3 weeks, and now you wanna spend every freakin' day with her. Don't see her so dam much.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I wouldn't worry about it but understand that anything can happen out of the blue since you're the "rebound guy."

 

[Latinoman]

I wouldn't worry about it but understand that anything can happen out of the blue since you're the "rebound guy."

I agree 100%.

i just feel like i have blown it,...maybe im reading too much into it, maybe this is a test, or maybe im just a paranoid bahsahd! I dont know, it always seems to work this way with chicks i think i like......if it were any of my last 3 or 4 girls i could give a rats ass......

You should not give a "rats ass" in this case for THREE particular reasons

1- She is older than you (no much, but enough)

2- She is recently divorced (so, you are a rebound guy)

3- But MORE importantly...when you put 1 & 2 together with the fact that you have been dating for ONLY 3 weeks.

 

[phillyb]

Thankx for the replies.....I know how the "rebound guy" thing works....all to well. It just seems that I have a tendencey for self destructive behavior sometimes and I need to be aware of it and cease it. I think i might have embarrased her in front of her friends??


who knows

anyway, im thinking i shouldnt call her or email her now. put the ball in her court.......I see she is on match alot now......thats how we met.....I feel like a phucking loser all over again.

peace

 

[Latinoman]

anyway, im thinking i shouldnt call her or email her now. put the ball in her court.......I see she is on match alot now......thats how we met.....I feel like a phucking loser all over again.

peace

Let me state a few points:

1- I personally would avoid getting into a SERIOUS relationship with a woman that I meet via personal adds or any other Internet mode. Here is why...way too convenient and easy for her to meet others. She can even do it while you are sleeping in the same bedroom. So, when things go bad or a little harder (and trust me, in EVERY relationship there will be periods of hardship), all she has to do is go to Match.com or MySpace and "problem solve", instead of working in the relationship. Women like that are not worthy.

2- Never ask her via EMAIL anything. In fact, next time TELL her via either telephone or in person. You don't say: "Do you want to get together?". What you say is: "Let's get together. How would you feel if I pick you up around ___?" You are taking the "yes" and "no" out of the equation and you sound assertive.

3- My current girlfriend hates drunks...I have gotten drunk about 4 or 5 times within the last year or so. She gets upset...but at the end...we still together. My point? You should never act like you did something wrong. Let her come to you and tell you what she thinks...then you can appologize (if needed) or talk about it. Many men OVERreact. Don't be one of them.

4- You are NOT a loser. She is the one going back to Match.com. If she is so good...why she has to go back there to meet other people? She is the one that got divorced. She is older than you too. And WORST...she is in her 30s! She is probably thinking that she needs to have kids soon or that she is getting "old". Mid to upper 30s is the WORST type of "single" women out there. Especially for a man in his 20s and 30s. They are okay for men in their 40s+.

5- By the way...do NOT question her about putting her profile back up. Instead YOU put YOURS back on. And say NOTHING. I bet she will see it. Heck...put a MySpace profile too! I mean, you are meeting women in the Internet, you might as well go the entire way (considering your current situation). I mean, I am not an advocate of the Internet...but under certain circunstances...you have to use it (to boost confidence, etc.). So maybe you can put in your Match.com a URL for your MySpace...then put some GREAT pictures and stuff. She and others will see it.

Yeah, playing games. So what? You need a confidence boost.

And try to meet women in REAL life. Develop those social skills (it is obvious you are having social skills issues...getting drunk in your room while she is taking care of the party...you should have stayed by her, helping her).

 

[drZaius09]

1- I personally would avoid getting into a SERIOUS relationship with a woman that I meet via personal adds or any other Internet mode. Here is why...way too convenient and easy for her to meet others... So, when things go bad or a little harder (and trust me, in EVERY relationship there will be periods of hardship), all she has to do is go to Match.com or MySpace and "problem solve"

Question-- How is this any different from a girl you meet "offline?" Rather than consult match.com, can't she just wiggle her ass at the local club/bar? It is EFFORTLESS for women to meet potential suitors in any environment, online or off. Any remotely attractive woman who is not willing to work at a relationship need only step outside her front door in a scantily-covered outfit and men will be tripping over themselves to get to her.

2- Never ask her via EMAIL anything.

This is just nit-picky. It doesn't matter. Ask her however the hell you want to ask her. Throw a damn paper airplane through her window. WHO CARES!

3- My current girlfriend hates drunks...

If you are dating someone who disapproves of your lifestyle or any part of your lifestyle, then you are probably not meant to be together.

4- You are NOT a loser.

Agreed. It is important not to let this (or any) girl affect your happiness in one direction or another.

5- By the way...do NOT question her about putting her profile back

Agreed. What she does is none of your concern.

And try to meet women in REAL life...

Haha, I dont get this attitude, as if online dating is some fantasy RPG or something. You are still meeting real people who are sometimes worth your time. Does the fact that we are conversing through this message board make us somehow less than actual human beings?

 

[Latinoman]

Dr...your license has been revoked!

Question-- How is this any different from a girl you meet "offline?" Rather than consult match.com, can't she just wiggle her ass at the local club/bar? It is EFFORTLESS for women to meet potential suitors in any environment, online or off. Any remotely attractive woman who is not willing to work at a relationship need only step outside her front door in a scantily-covered outfit and men will be tripping over themselves to get to her.

Convenience. A woman will test the boundaries of a relationship...they might even do anything if they feel they are never going to be caught. A woman that goes clubbing/pubbing is one that knows her man CAN POTENTIALY suspect of her actions. A woman that knows and understands the "cyber" dating scheme is one that can do that from her home...without leaving any tracks.

You see? If a man allows himself to be with a woman that is into the club scene (without him), then that man deserves what he is getting.

This is just nit-picky. It doesn't matter. Ask her however the hell you want to ask her. Throw a damn paper airplane through her window. WHO CARES!

There is a difference between a "m"an and a "M"an. A "M"an deals with adversity face to face. If he has to fire someone, he tells the person. If he has to give his best friend bad news (e.g. death in family), he tells his friend face to face. If he has to dump a woman, he does that face to face. This is NOT easy. And that is what separates "M"en from "m"en.

If you are dating someone who disapproves of your lifestyle or any part of your lifestyle, then you are probably not meant to be together.

I certainly hope EVERYONE disaproves of public drunkness. Heck, even drunks disaprove of other drunks!

Haha, I dont get this attitude, as if online dating is some fantasy RPG or something. You are still meeting real people who are sometimes worth your time. Does the fact that we are conversing through this message board make us somehow less than actual human beings?

We are conversing...we are not trying to get laid.

You said it in the first statement:"It is EFFORTLESS for women to meet potential suitors in any environment". So, why would a woman choose the Internet? Hmmmmm...think about it.

a) Cheating to current partner
b) Way too much bagage (e.g. kids)
c) Hiding some serious emotional/physical deficiency
d) All of the above

I am not against the Internet. I consider it a LAST option thing (e.g. if we are going through a drough and wants a quick laid).

 

[drZaius09]

Convenience. A woman will test the boundaries of a relationship...they might even do anything if they feel they are never going to be caught. A woman that goes clubbing/pubbing is one that knows her man CAN POTENTIALY suspect of her actions. A woman that knows and understands the "cyber" dating scheme is one that can do that from her home...without leaving any tracks.

Quite the contrary, you leave a bloody pool of evidence when you use online dating... how about a profile that anyone can log into and see when you were last active?

There is a difference between a "m"an and a "M"an. A "M"an deals with adversity face to face. If he has to fire someone, he tells the person. If he has to give his best friend bad news (e.g. death in family), he tells his friend face to face. If he has to dump a woman, he does that face to face. This is NOT easy. And that is what separates "M"en from "m"en.

Well then by your standards of being a "man," a phone call doesn't quite cut it either. Futrthermore, asking a girl out isn't exactly in the same vein as firing someone, or notifying a person of a death. Your question and her answer are both INCONSEQUENTIAL. Or at least they should be. I have the suspicion that anyone who would define men by such absurd criteria as how they ask a girl on a date might have some insecurities of their own.

I certainly hope EVERYONE disaproves of public drunkness.

I certainly hope NOT. As long as they're not acting in a reckless or irresponsible manner, it is nobody else's business.

So, why would a woman choose the Internet? Hmmmmm...think about it.

a) Cheating to current partner
b) Way too much bagage (e.g. kids)
c) Hiding some serious emotional/physical deficiency
d) All of the above

What you should really think about is the fact that all of these issues have been thriving in the female population long before the internet ever existed.

 

[drZaius09]

double post

 

[GirlCrazy]

And try to meet women in REAL life. Develop those social skills (it is obvious you are having social skills issues...getting drunk in your room while she is taking care of the party...you should have stayed by her, helping her).

It is a slightly different skill set than online dating, although as the doctor points out, the end result is the same.

It's probably better to feel equally at ease sarging online and in public places (clubs, bars, book stores, etc.), which just makes you more rounded and versatile. But what matters is the results, and if you're getting good results, then what difference does it make how you met? Having a hot chick on your lap speaks for itself.

The arguments I've seen against online dating usually revolve around the fact that for some people it isn't grounded in reality, and for some it's a substitute for social interaction. But for well-adjusted, socially proficient people, it can be a great way to cut through some of the bullsh!t.