Nope. I'm not blaming the man. Nor am I defending the woman. I'm saying his reaction is completely unproductive, firstly for his own good, and second as an example to other men.
I'm very unlikely ever to be divorced, as I've seen more than my fair share in my own family. Plus, unlike this guy, I'm learning how to behave like a responsible, valuable, desirable individual.
I'm not unsympathetic to his situation, but firstly he's probably NOT entirely blameless, and secondly I am unsympathetic towards his reaction.
Though never divorced, I've been burned probably much worse than 99% of guys on this forum, probably worse than some of you who HAVE been divorced. Like I said earlier, I ended up in cells because my reactions were beta and inappropriate. Call it the benefit of experience I'm speaking.
Lastly, I'm not here to be popular, nor to play in to the common narrative. I'm here to give a point of view. If noone else agrees, well, that's the way it is. I'm not going to draw up a placard and sit on the side of the road like a crybaby. I'm going to get up tomorrow and carry on with my life, because thats what I have learned is for the best, for my own good, and everyone else's.
The below information is from a post I made here a few years ago. I was then and always have been a "responsible, valuable, desirable individual." (to use your words).
"Just by nature of being married, you are placing yourself under the rules regarding marriage in your state. You cannot legally get away from this woman without permission of the state. Think about that for a moment and internalize the reality of that.
Now, imagine that she's pissed off and bitter (a woman being pissed off and bitter? never happens...). And she decides to challenge everything, to drag out the divorce as long as possible, and on top of that, to make false allegations against you (as my ex did). What type of allegations you may ask?
The worst one my ex made was "misappropriation of marital funds". Which in layman's terms means this: She said I took $100,000 of marital assets and used them for something that was not in support of the marriage. There was absolutely no evidence of this (because I didn't do it) but I still had to engage my lawyer about this (understand that every phone call and email with your lawyer costs money. My lawyer charged $250 an hour) so I could defend myself. One of the ways to defend yourself against this is to produce documentation that shows where the money went. One way to do that is to hire a "forensic accountant" to do the work. I don't have any idea how much that costs, but I would imagine it's huge bucks. So, with the guidance of my lawyer (again, the clock is ticking. $$$). I produced the paperwork myself to save money. And trust me, this was hours and hours of pain and grief. The judge ruled that I didn't do it, but it cost me thousands of dollars and hour and hours of agony to defend myself against it.
Here's another potential instance that I don't know if a prenup covers: My ex intentionally unemployed herself during the later years of the marriage so she could potentially get more alimony. So, guys, how do you prove that your ex has intentionally unemployed herself? You have to consult with your lawyer (again, $$$). Then You have to hire an employment specialist (again, $$$) to interview your ex and give her a battery of tests. That employment specialist then produces documentation that's used as evidence at Trial (yes, I had to pay to have the employment specialist at trial. again, $$$) to help prove that your ex is capable of earning a certain level of salary. This is known as "Imputed income". The judge ruled that my ex was capable of making 30K a year.
These two instances are only a part of what I endured during the divorce process.
So, how many of you even knew about this and knew that a pissed off ex could do this to you? I had never heard of "misappropriation of marital funds" or "imputed income". How many other weapons of mass destruction are available to a pissed off ex? See, the thing is, You don't even know, you have no idea... And understand, the system has these weapons of mass destruction built in to support this type of reckless, destructive behavior from a woman.
Imagine a scenario like this: You are caught in the steel gears of a massive, brutal money making machine that your ex (who now hates your guts) controls the lever of. She can pull the lever back and forth as many times as she wants and it just keeps grinding you up... That's what it feels like guys."
"I'm very unlikely ever to be divorced..." For your sake, I hope your powers of seeing the future are 100% accurate.
-Augustus-