divorce

[spider_007]

I was in the book store on sunday, and this chick walks in with her 6-7 year old dother. The chick was looking for books on divorce and custidy........ I thought that was funny. Poor guy, probaly has no idea.

Haw many of your AVERAGE GUYS would really go out and reaserch things like that WHEN GETTING MERRIED, OR DIVORCED.

Better yat, haw many MEN would actually look things like this up BEFORE THEY GET MERRIED. None that I know. In fact, i know a lot more guys that lost the shirt of their backs, and still have no clue haw she managed that.....

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Well, it doesn't take a great deal of skill on the woman's part, since the courts automatically assume she's telling the truth about everything.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What's the difference between that and guys gaining knowledge from an Internet forum on how to interact better with women? They're both used to gain information to even the playing field. The information is out there for everyone, why feel sorry for anyone who doesn't do their due diligence to prepare themselves?

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by spider_007
what is it now, 75% that get devorced???

I've heard a higher number just under 90% for all marriages. The 75% is for first marriages.

Seems like a guarantee for failure and a very bad investment: financially and emotionally. Even women are more cautious today as many decent professional girls in their 30's are still single.

I try to think happy thoughts and don't settle for anything but the very best for myself. Force yourself to not ever consider anyone as a LTR until significant time passes. The initial period is a trial run and identifies any negative qualifiers that might be hidden initially. Great women hate waiting because they've never had to in their lives, but it can build up tremendous IL. If she's worth it and patient, she'll get her chance.

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by spider_007
the difference is, we are here to learn haw to make THEM AND US happy. She did it to take advantage of somebody who probably don't even have a clue what's coming.........

Imagine one day you come home from work and your women serves you divorce papers instead of a hot meal. few months go by and: you are kiked out of the house, you can't come and see your kids, she takes the car you bought for her, and then even has the balls to ask you to sopport her for the next couple of years...........

It's easy to pack up your **** and walk away, especially when you get so much out of it. what is it now, 75% that get devorced???

First off, it works both ways, men leave women, women leave men, your making it sound way too one sided.

Second, how do you know the story behind why this woman was looking? Maybe her husband beats her, maybe she came home and walked in on him with the babysitter. You have no idea so don't be so quick to judge the reasons behind it.

Most of the time when there is a breakup there's fault on BOTH sides, not just one person. My marriage ended when my wife was having an affair, but I would be pretty blind if I thought everything was her fault. Sure, she did the betrayal (I never cheated), but if I had been a better husband then maybe she wouldn't have had to go somewhere else, then again, maybe not, who's to say.

I highly doubt there are that many instances where a person is completely blindsided with divorce talk, you have to know that things aren't going that great, if you don't then I think your in denial.

 

[white sox bill]

I have NO intentions of marrying. Heres a link some of oyu may find interesting:http://dontmarry.proboards27.com/index.cgi?board=general

BTW, I thought divorce rate was aroud 60%

 

[libre]

The divorce rate in Canada for first unions is 50%. However 80% of these dissolutions are initiated by the women. The separation rate for second and third unions are much higher, somewhat around 80%.

As women at 80% are those that initiate the dissolutions, I advise men to be wary when they meet women who want them to commit. The women would like to hold the men true to values to which they can't respect themselves.

 

[Juan Valdez]

reply

No woman has ever left me, so I can not totaly relate. They all seemed to think I was the worlds best catch...except they did not actualy catch me.

I have however been divorced twice
which by age 30 is saying somthing.

Still nothing compared to my fathers 12 solid divorces by age 50. He is currently married to a diplomat from argentina.

As long as there are not children envolved, and you can hide all your money some place where she can not touch it, you should be charmed to leave her aquaintance.

Otherwise just pray you do not live in washington state where the "W" is for women.

I do not predict a I will marry again soon, unless my current situation presents a solution to it's self.

Good luck to all, and remember it is a far better thing to have loved and lost than never to have escaped from undying captivity and opression.

 

[DonRob]

Originally posted by ApocalypseCow2
Well, it doesn't take a great deal of skill on the woman's part, since the courts automatically assume she's telling the truth about everything.

Unless you are filty rich there wont be any long court battle. Its too costly and the attornies are the ones that make out on the deal. More and more courts and quality attornies are pushing divorce to negotiated settlement. The courts have a set of guidelines they pretty much wont deviate from. In most states cause is a moot point. Doesnt matter if she was skrewing everyone in the city. You still will pay child support if you make more money than she does and alimony if she wants to be especially nasty (if you've been married a while)

 

[DonRob]

Originally posted by Squid
First off, it works both ways, men leave women, women leave men, your making it sound way too one sided.

Second, how do you know the story behind why this woman was looking? Maybe her husband beats her, maybe she came home and walked in on him with the babysitter. You have no idea so don't be so quick to judge the reasons behind it.

Most of the time when there is a breakup there's fault on BOTH sides, not just one person. My marriage ended when my wife was having an affair, but I would be pretty blind if I thought everything was her fault. Sure, she did the betrayal (I never cheated), but if I had been a better husband then maybe she wouldn't have had to go somewhere else, then again, maybe not, who's to say.

I highly doubt there are that many instances where a person is completely blindsided with divorce talk, you have to know that things aren't going that great, if you don't then I think your in denial.

The statistics Ive read from the last US Census say that roughly 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce. Ive also read statistics that say that 75% of divorces are initiated by the woman. Of those, 2/3rd of the time the man is unaware that the relationship is in that kind of trouble.

 

[Juan Valdez]

smooth Rob,

your on the mark.

 

[BigDawg]

Originally posted by Squid

Most of the time when there is a breakup there's fault on BOTH sides, not just one person. My marriage ended when my wife was having an affair, but I would be pretty blind if I thought everything was her fault. Sure, she did the betrayal (I never cheated), but if I had been a better husband then maybe she wouldn't have had to go somewhere else, then again, maybe not, who's to say.

I highly doubt there are that many instances where a person is completely blindsided with divorce talk, you have to know that things aren't going that great, if you don't then I think your in denial.

My own marriage ended under similar but not identical conditions. I can't prove that she had an affair, but I had some circumstantial evidence. Like you, I never cheated, and while I was a little blind-sided when she told me she wanted the split, in retrospect, I did sense that "something was rotten in the state of DenmarK" before she ever told me.

After the shock of the situation wore off, and I treated the ensuing depression, eventually, the wounds healed. I've been single since then (since 2000), but I've managed to date a bit, including one really wonderful LTR that ended way too soon due to geography. Personally, I'd like to jump off that gangplank again, but I'll do it with open eyes, next time.

After all, there is no better teacher than experience.

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by DonRob
The statistics Ive read from the last US Census say that roughly 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce. Ive also read statistics that say that 75% of divorces are initiated by the woman. Of those, 2/3rd of the time the man is unaware that the relationship is in that kind of trouble.

I think your missing my point, regardless who initiates the divorce, it's rarely one persons fault, it takes two people to fail at a marriage.

I'm somewhat skeptical about the 2/3rd of the time statistic. Every time I was about to get dumped I could damn well tell there was something wrong, you may not necessarily think it's the end, but you have to know there's a problem. People change how they treat you even on a subconcious level when there's trouble brewing.

The point of my post was that the original message was an extremely one sided view of everything, how can that woman going in to the bookstore be judged unless you know the whole story.

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by BigDawg
My own marriage ended under similar but not identical conditions. I can't prove that she had an affair, but I had some circumstantial evidence. Like you, I never cheated, and while I was a little blind-sided when she told me she wanted the split, in retrospect, I did sense that "something was rotten in the state of DenmarK" before she ever told me.

After the shock of the situation wore off, and I treated the ensuing depression, eventually, the wounds healed. I've been single since then (since 2000), but I've managed to date a bit, including one really wonderful LTR that ended way too soon due to geography. Personally, I'd like to jump off that gangplank again, but I'll do it with open eyes, next time.

After all, there is no better teacher than experience.

Interesting, mine ended in 2000 too, must have been the Y2K bug lol. I dated a bit, had a 3 year LTR where I was a month away from marriage before we pulled the plug. It was pretty disappointing and to be honest I still have not put it behind me. I haven't gotten to the stage yet where I'm ready to move on, I'm still at the stage where I don't think I'm interested in any kind of a LTR at the moment.

 

[BigDawg]

Originally posted by Squid
Interesting, mine ended in 2000 too, must have been the Y2K bug lol. I dated a bit, had a 3 year LTR where I was a month away from marriage before we pulled the plug. It was pretty disappointing and to be honest I still have not put it behind me. I haven't gotten to the stage yet where I'm ready to move on, I'm still at the stage where I don't think I'm interested in any kind of a LTR at the moment.

Misery loves company, eh?. Every time I think I have moved on, I dredge up a memory of my last LTR and everything goes to crap again. But I find that the downtime gets shorter and shorter, so I think I'm getting better. Strangely enough, it was easier to get over the ex-wife than the most recent LTR. I'm not sure why that is.

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by BigDawg
Strangely enough, it was easier to get over the ex-wife than the most recent LTR. I'm not sure why that is.

hmm, same here, I guess with me I really thought that I had a connection with this one, our goals in life were definitely more in sinc than with my ex wife.

At this point in time I would much rather be single than with anyone else, I'm still pretty messed up I guess.

 

[DonRob]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
What's the difference between that and guys gaining knowledge from an Internet forum on how to interact better with women? They're both used to gain information to even the playing field. The information is out there for everyone, why feel sorry for anyone who doesn't do their due diligence to prepare themselves?

The Divoce laws are hardly a level playing feild. In all but the rarest of cases, the man has his children taken from him, he then has to PAY money to the ex who often uses them against him. On top of that if the man makes significantly more than his ex she can get more money from him for herself (alimony.) How the **** is that a level playing field?

 

[BigDawg]

Originally posted by Squid
At this point in time I would much rather be single than with anyone else, I'm still pretty messed up I guess.

I hear ya. It takes time, but it slowly gets better.