Ditching her and not telling her in advance

[RU18QT?]

I was supposed to have a date tonight that i never went on. She's the one who made plans with me and she never called me.

Whats everyones opinion...

A) call her and tell her your busy (obviously if i am busy i don't have time to call her so not a good option)

B) only if she calls tell her your busy and not keeping plans

C) always keep your plans unless its absolutely necessary to ditch

D) make her come crawling to you and bust on her about loving you to much and always wanting to spend time with you

E) i am a noob what didnt i think of?


Its amazing the result of not calling her.... her friend wrote me a msg on myspace saying it was awesome i forgot about my date with her, so obviously this effected her enough to talk to her friend about it... or maybe its more mind games. Any idea's on good things to write back to her friend?

 

[Play the Game]

It's a lose-lose secanario. She was playing a game to see if you cared enough to remember the date, and it backfired on her.

Now if you don't say anything you're a jerk, and if you do you're giving into her mind games.... I donno your choice.
Personally i'd move on, she's an immature little girl.

 

[Leporello]

You're awesome for forgetting the date? Huh?

****y is one thing. Either not having the balls to cancel or being into demented parlor games is over the line.

 

[RU18QT?]

I never forgot the date... i was busy with work and then fell asleep on my couch watching tv... she never called, just left a message for me on myspace, it turns out she wrote the message on her friends account... No call, goes and makes other plans = she doesn't care and just wants to **** with me. I've noticed she likes to play a lot of mind games, i generally see threw them and don't let it bother me.... i am not sure if she knows that i know she's playing mind games, anyway to test that?

 

[Play the Game]

Haha you want a test? Why not send her a questionnaire lol.
Women will never tell you they're fvcking with your head, you have to figure it out for yourself.

As far as if she knows... who cares. She's desperate to get control over you. All that matter is you know.

She asked you out and then didn't have the confidence to call you even once? Bull$hit!

Her friend /Her using her friend's account? is manipulating you into a guilt trip b/c you're
not reacting to her games... whether directly or indirectly, it doesn't matter.

You should be able to see right through that highschool bs.

 

[RU18QT?]

yea i defiantly get that she's trying to see how much I care. The real question is how should have I handled this next time? I seen this game coming but I didnt know how to deal with it so i just ignored it. I think in the future if I can see it coming I'll call and cancel my plans... that way i am not giving into games and she has nothing to use against me.

 

[iqqi]

You should just be honest here, and not play games back. Say "I fell asleep." And ask her why she didn't just call. And leave it at that.

 

[Phyzzle]

I'm guessing you screwed up.

"She never called She never called" Well, uh, did you guys agree to a phone call? Or did you agree to a date?

More details. What EXACTLY did you agree to?

It sounds to me like you made plans to be somewhere, and just fell asleep instead. You just decided it was HER job to wake you up, without bothering to actually tell her that this was her job. Yep, you're the d!ck here.

The real question is how should have I handled this next time?

Just make plans. Do not make a date where "One of us will call the other sometime around roughly Thursday-ish to check our schedules against all our friends, relatives, coworkers, and the phase of the moon." Just make a straight-up plan, right there on the spot.

 

[logic1]

With the information provided. I have to agree with Phyzzle.

You are the guilty party. You screwed up. And on top of that you are trying to turn it around on her...WTF?

Most of the time it works the way you described except for the part of falling asleep on the couch... sheeeeesh!!

You set up a date with the time, place and when. Then follow thru with the plans you made. No need in a phone call in between.

You need a good dose of responsibility and respect. Sorry if this is harsh but the part of you trying to blame her for your mistake is LAME. Its called projection.

 

[RU18QT?]

I'm guessing you screwed up.

"She never called She never called" Well, uh, did you guys agree to a phone call? Or did you agree to a date?

More details. What EXACTLY did you agree to?

It sounds to me like you made plans to be somewhere, and just fell asleep instead. You just decided it was HER job to wake you up, without bothering to actually tell her that this was her job. Yep, you're the d!ck here.

I hung out with her basically the entire day before, I left her house and she was going to a friends house so I gave her a ride. She said "i am busy wed,thrus, and saturday, so can we goto a movie or something tomorrow?" I told her "maybe, i'll look and see whats playing, call me tomorrow"

The fact that she went and hung out with her friend and didnt bother to call, txt, smoke signal or get in contact with me in anyway but after the fact went out of her way to make it seam like I was in trouble really seams like it was all just a test anyway.

 

[logic1]

I hung out with her basically the entire day before, I left her house and she was going to a friends house so I gave her a ride. She said "i am busy wed,thrus, and saturday, so can we goto a movie or something tomorrow?" I told her "maybe, i'll look and see whats playing, call me tomorrow"

The fact that she went and hung out with her friend and didnt bother to call, txt, smoke signal or get in contact with me in anyway but after the fact went out of her way to make it seam like I was in trouble really seams like it was all just a test anyway.

Of course the story changes after you dont get the answer you are looking for. Why did you not put this in with your opening post? But even with the change of events the finger still points at you.

I'm not against you. You just need to learn some things just like I do everyday.

Using the word "maybe" sounds wishy washey. You should have taken control of the situation. She gave you the opening. You still screwed up.

You should have been the leader. You call her telling her the time, place and where you would pick her up. Not her calling you. No hesitation.

I think in her eyes you came across as a wuss. Very undecisive. Big turn-off

 

[RU18QT?]

Of course the story changes after you dont get the answer you are looking for. Why did you not put this in with your opening post? But even with the change of events the finger still points at you.

I'm not against you. You just need to learn some things just like I do everyday.

Using the word "maybe" sounds wishy washey. You should have taken control of the situation. She gave you the opening. You still screwed up.

You should have been the leader. You call her telling her the time, place and where you would pick her up. Not her calling you. No hesitation.

I think in her eyes you came across as a wuss. Very undecisive. Big turn-off

The story never changed that what happened, it doesn't matter to anyone else on this site anyways cuz its not there life... I do applicate the criticism and I never saw things from the prospective u mentioned. Defiantly an eye opener!

 

[ketostix]

Well he did tell her to call so the ball was in her court. She didn't call. Why should she be pissy at him? If she was so interested in the date she should've called him up. Sounds like she's playing games. I think you should just tell her basicaly what Iqqi said, You fell asleep and she was suppose to call..

 

[RU18QT?]

To me her asking me and me telling her to call = her fault but I really should have took control and told her what was going to happen instead of giving her an opening to play games.

I ended up texting her today when i was on break at work:
"Awww did i make you cry? I worked late and then fell asleep watching tv, looks like you had fun anyways! Call next time instead u dork!"

she told me she's never cried over a guy before so I at least got to push some buttons.

she's yet to get back to me but I'll post if she does.

 

[iqqi]

To me her asking me and me telling her to call = her fault but I really should have took control and told her what was going to happen instead of giving her an opening to play games.

I ended up texting her today when i was on break at work:
"Awww did i make you cry? I worked late and then fell asleep watching tv, looks like you had fun anyways! Call next time instead u dork!"

she told me she's never cried over a guy before so I at least got to push some buttons.

she's yet to get back to me but I'll post if she does.

that works. now its just up to her if she is still interested (aka "can get over it"). tell her u will buy her ice cream 2 make up 4 it. ice cream fixes all.

 

[penkitten]

ice cream fixes all.

or cake... chocolate cake can make me forgive anything.
brb ... going to get cake now

 

[RU18QT?]

Well she got back to me today about 15mins ago.

"Sorry I lost my phone so i couldn't reply to you yesterday but you do owe me a dress up date! Hows work going today?"

I kinda doubt she lost her phone, probably just trying to make excuses as to why she didn't get back to me sooner, I really don't care she could have got back to me in a week and it wouldn't have effected me all the much.

All in all I can make this work in my favor very easily... I've learned a couple valuable lessons out of this and thats what its all about.

 

[logic1]

Well she got back to me today about 15mins ago.

"Sorry I lost my phone so i couldn't reply to you yesterday but you do owe me a dress up date! Hows work going today?"

I kinda doubt she lost her phone, probably just trying to make excuses as to why she didn't get back to me sooner, I really don't care she could have got back to me in a week and it wouldn't have effected me all the much.

All in all I can make this work in my favor very easily... I've learned a couple valuable lessons out of this and thats what its all about.

Yes, you can make this work in your favor if you want. I dont like the lost phone excuse..............

I'm still lost on the you telling her to call you and her not calling to comfirm the plans or to wake you up. She might have been knocking on your door but you didn't notice since you were asleep on the couch. But that's the past.

I'm sure you know she has given you another opening to take.

I dont see any reason to kick this girl to the curb just yet. I think she wants you to "man up" and take the lead. I feel she has not disrespected you as of now. She wants you to meet her half way.

If you feel she is worth it I would be calling and making a date. Lead her.

Do you feel she is playing with you?? Why wont you follow thru??

I think your first date plans were a big lack of communication or do you feel she flaked on you?

If you dont have other options this is one to start with you can always add more or drop this one.

My 2 cents good luck

 

[ketostix]

I think she's playing games but having said that she seems interested. Make plans and take her out.

 

[RU18QT?]

Yes, you can make this work in your favor if you want. I dont like the lost phone excuse..............

I'm still lost on the you telling her to call you and her not calling to comfirm the plans or to wake you up. She might have been knocking on your door but you didn't notice since you were asleep on the couch. But that's the past.

I'm sure you know she has given you another opening to take.

I dont see any reason to kick this girl to the curb just yet. I think she wants you to "man up" and take the lead. I feel she has not disrespected you as of now. She wants you to meet her half way.

If you feel she is worth it I would be calling and making a date. Lead her.

Do you feel she is playing with you?? Why wont you follow thru??

I think your first date plans were a big lack of communication or do you feel she flaked on you?

If you dont have other options this is one to start with you can always add more or drop this one.

My 2 cents good luck

She's probably worth it.. Not our first "date" i was with her the night before this was supposed to happen and she asked me for another date.... the whole "dress up date" thing is an inside joke, she was messing with her phone and there was some voice memo on there of a conversation that was like:

Guy: I think we need to go on a date..
Girl: Well what do u call this?
Guy: No I mean like a date date, fanzy clothes.. fanzy restaurant...

I think this is her subliminal way of saying she wants a more serious date with me... I totally think she playing with me, she get alot of guys hitting on her and it seams like she knows how to play mind games even if she doesn't do them on purpose(kinda like a nature DJ of women,if thats even possible haha).