Ditch the date before you turn into a puppy

[johnny_chase]

That's the one thing that bothers me about this site. People post stuff asking for information and they dont give enough background. One guy was asking what he could do to have sex with this chick he was dating for three months, so i added him to my msn. It turned out that this girl had told him she was a 23 year old virgin, and no wedding no sex. Somehow, he didnt hear this. Then he told me they made out, but no tongue, that was it. And then he posts a question about why this chick isnt putting out! I WAS YELLING AT HIM IN ALL CAPS, HE STILL DIDNT GET IT.

I know that's extreme, but i think sometimes we forget that all the rest of us have to go on is what you put in your original post, those are the only details we have. I know you didnt ask a question, but i am going to give my opinion on it.

Seeing as you asked for other's experiences:

This was two years ago: What happened to you happened to me once. Me and a girl went out to a bar for some drinks, and all her friends were there. She introduced me, and then instead of coming over to a table with me, she sat down, and all four of them just went off all turned away from me. I sat there like a little b!tch though, a little doggy on a leash. This was way back in the day, maybe one of my first hookups(just discovering the complexities of these girls), before the DJ self improvement thing happened. That **** sucks, and for newbs you gave good info, sounded like a rant though.

This was four months ago: Now, once when i left early, me and this girl had gone shopping downtown. We were having lunch, having a good time, this was our first outing. Having lunch, good times, her cell rings. When my cell rings, i acknowledge it, see who calls, and call them back later. I dont answer. I just dont. She picks up her phone, it's obviously a guy, and she starts talking to him. Two minutes in she turns away from me in her chair and sort of starts whispering into her phone, wtv. At that point, i finished my food, got up, and left classy style.

Since then, i make it very clear that what we are doing is a ONE ON ONE only kind of thing, and if she tried to weasel her friends into it, just suave your way out. Stay cool.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

DJ Stray puppy, you are in the right by being offended - she should have stated this foursome BEFORE you arrived! You were just trying to be nice and not act offended by agreeing to this intrusion!

Leaving early was a great move - if she wants you she'll call you - don't call her!

Lesson learned for everyone - on a DATE, NEVER accept others coming along WITHOUT advance notice and your agreement!!!

SAY, "That's OK, I'll let you go with your friends - give me a call if you want to arrange something else at some other time"

 

[DJDamage]

Some women don't have class and show no respect. Even when they stopped being intrested in you they should still show respect.

Case in point, the AW that dumped me for another guy, wanted to meet with me after work to try smooth things over or for closure don't know which didn't really care. I was heartbroken then and when we met she had the oddacity to answer her cell phone when she was sitting in front of me. I was still fresh and hurt from this breakup that occured 3 days earlier and now she is sitting in front of me and chitchating on her cell with her new boyfriend!!!!! and I just sat there like a little b1tch amazed by her disrespectful behaviour. I just told her after that we can't be friends and then I drover her home!!!

Now I know I should have just got out and walked away and she would have walked home or better I should have never met her for that 'Closure' . I was a real AFC back then.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
SAY, "That's OK, I'll let you go with your friends - give me a call if you want to arrange something else at some other time"

Perfect PRL! I never knew what to say in these situations, now I´m gonna use this line whenever necessary.

I´ve added it to my personal quotes.

Originally posted by DJDamage
I was still fresh and hurt from this breakup that occured 3 days earlier and now she is sitting in front of me and chitchating on her cell with her new boyfriend!!!!! and I just sat there like a little b1tch amazed by her disrespectful behaviour. I just told her after that we can't be friends and then I drover her home!!!

They´re so self-centered that they hurt everyone on their way, big lesson. They´re able to use you with no remorse, when you´re out of resource they easily replace you. Those types are a big no-no unless for casual sex, if you´re willing to "game" them.

 

[bud_2005]

Is there anything wrong with being blunt about the situation. If I would of been in your situation I probably would have gone right up to her, and said something like "Well it's obvious you don't have feelings for me anymore, so I am leaving". She may call you immediately afterward and apologize. If she doesn't then it's no big deal.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

DJ Bud, this has nothing to do with "feelings" it has to do with respect from her and his self-dignity!

 

[Nightspark]

Posted by: bud2005

"Well it's obvious you don't have feelings for me anymore, so I am leaving"

hrrm okay that's wierd sounds like an insecure ultimatim... eh that wouldve been a bad move... better to leave without saying anything, actions speak louder than words. and remember these are women... they can read body language like a mile away.

Posted by: johnny_chase

That's the one thing that bothers me about this site. People post stuff asking for information and they dont give enough background. One guy was asking what he could do to have sex with this chick he was dating for three months, so i added him to my msn. It turned out that this girl had told him she was a 23 year old virgin, and no wedding no sex. Somehow, he didnt hear this. Then he told me they made out, but no tongue, that was it. And then he posts a question about why this chick isnt putting out! I WAS YELLING AT HIM IN ALL CAPS, HE STILL DIDNT GET IT.

hahaah i think we can say taht the guy has tunnel vision and will not pay attention to anything else.... my friend has that problem but at least he's starting to listen

 

[J.C.]

1)she brings her friends without telling in advance
Yeah, so?
2) she shows no interest.
Loud music=kino. She can either reject it or like it. If she rejects it, fine, instant NEXT. She no longer exists. It's her right to reject you, she must live with the consequences= no more attention from you.
3)walk away from the concert.
You were there ALONE. Where there no other women?, was the band so bad, did you have something better to do?

There is nothing to prove to her. There is no question of dignity.
There is a clear rule, your rule= no whining. She rejects you, fine. You just move on.

 

[theSpeculator]

Next time a girl bring two friends on your date and ask you if it's okay?

Say: "sure, it'll be fun, like that Elimidate show."

And maybe hit on her friends to make her jealous.

 

[MetalFortress]

straydog, let's recap this

1) You okayed it when she ASKED you if her friends could come along.

2) You left because you were mad at something YOU AGREED TO.

I think we can all conclude the answer right now. [SIZE=+1]YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FEEL INSULTED. YOU AGREED TO IT.[/SIZE] Stop being such an oversensitive AFC, for pete's sake.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I have to agree with MetalFortress here.

Live and learn.

Have I personally walked out? No.

Do I have friends that have? Yes.

Maybe because I qualify the women enough to know what's going on and organize a dating situation that prevents such things.

Perhaps its the women I date.

And perhaps its just me.

The shortest I've f*-closed a date is by the 2nd, well New year's is easy and that was only 1 date. It's not something I look for, probably because I'm picky, have no time, and once sex has been had, most girls don't attract me on a personal level.

But then again, why i'm so philosophical is that I don't spend anytime with any girl unless I know it's totally worthy my time, OR, that I'm willing to lose it all, even if she doesn't like me. With that in mind, it's rare the I go wrong, because I accept what choices I make and only deal with interested parties.

I'm glad you at least had the foresight to do what you wanted, that's most important. But don't mistake leaving for having balls or being a man. It takes as much ability as a man to stay and make the situation work for you, as it does to get up and leave and walk out.


Friends I've seen do such things come across as immature. It's one thing to bolt when a girl is overtly flirting, obvnoxiously drunk, or something along those lines where 1 bad behavior calls for corrective bad behavior...but depending on the case...depends on the solution.



A-Unit

 

[some_dude]

hey metalfortress: just shut up if you have nothing more to say in your last three posts. every situation is different, and it seems you are only thinking of your experience.


Now I just had to sign up to this board because of this post. alot that happened in my experince once was very similar.

I met a chick and let me give you some background:
This chick is like 5'11" and tall and beautiful. a 7 on a 10 scale.
we fck on the first date and then 3 out of 4 more.
alot of the things we think of are similar and we got along well from the start.

What did happen, though, is we were going to goto a free rap concert. this was my first ever rap show, cause I don't like rap too much.. but it was free.

what happened that night was i come over to her house, and about 4 female friends of hers are apparently coming with us. I didn't care if they came along. we hung out for an hour, and somehow debate was started about if we were going to a party or the concert. I had to put my foot down and choose the concert, cause I was pretty well set on it.

We decide to goto the party for a little while, then the concert. I didn't mind too much, the concert was free, and rap isn't exactly my favorite. There was going to be a keg there too, so i could get a little drunk before the show.....
Then we got to the concert, and it soon came apparent the girls were going to be stupid for the night. They would come and go and not stay in one single spot and watch the show. So i just hung out alone while they did their thing.

well what happened next was they came back and then commented how they just talked to some guy who happened to be just dancing on-stage and she said how hes pretty hot. I knew this was a **** test and blew it off.

Later, i get a call on my cell from her, and shes outside the door of the venue and can't get back in. stupid *****. so then i decide i'll wait til the show ends until i come out. because by this time their behavior was getting annoying. well, after she calls two times to come out, i finally just leave (I had her car keys anyways because she wanted me to hold onto them)


to try and finish things up here, we somehow left with three more guys who were apparently with the band. The one guy from earlier i mentioned.
we end up partying for a while at her house, and she does nothing but pay attention to those three guys.
later we goto another party, and she continues to not give me the time of day.

I decide to leave without telling her.


Basically, after that sort of disrespect I was in no frame of mind to deal with a sht testing andd disrespectful biatch.

I got some good lays out of it, with no condom i might add (thats a bad idea)

It was at this point in the night I decided she was not worth my time. there are other little things i didnt mention, but you get the idea.


so basically you guys, every situation is different, so you must act accordingly. if you feel like leaving, just do it. You don't need to play another silly game of flirting with other chicks just to spite your disrespectful biatch to get even or feel macho.

 

[Straydog]

Here are some quick replies to all of you

I know you didnt ask a question

Thats right. I didn't because I wanted this post to be a little broader than "Stray Puppy the AFC".
This Forum is great - It would be even greater if some of the great pimps around here would post not just about their succes-stories but also their failures.

She picks up her phone, it's obviously a guy, and she starts talking to him. Two minutes in she turns away from me in her chair and sort of starts whispering into her phone, wtv. At that point, i finished my food, got up, and left classy style.

Had you stayed a minut longer you would have been "puppied"

You were just trying to be nice and not act offended by agreeing to this intrusion!

It's possible that I should have rejected the friends. But if she really had been interested in me then it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Then we would just have screwed at the ladies room (See A-units first post).

I just sat there like a little b1tch

That line recaps the final ten minutes before I left. I know you all know this feeling

I probably would have gone right up to her, and said something like "Well it's obvious you don't have feelings for me anymore, so I am leaving".

The thing is, I've had dates before where the girl wasn't interested (Yeah I stink like sh1t). That didn't mean we couldn't have a good time and I would quickly loose out on a lot of friends who are girls if I required them to be sexually interested in me.
If I had had a good time on this occasion I wouldn't have left, regardless of the girls lack of interest in me.

Loud music=kino. She can either reject it or like it. If she rejects it, fine, instant NEXT

You're out with a girl who isn't interested in talking to you. Do you
A) Grab her ass hoping to light up her interest
B) Grab her friends ass trying to make your girl jealous
C) Grab your own ass and leave the scene

"sure, it'll be fun, like that Elimidate show."

Great line thanx man

Stop being such an oversensitive AFC, for pete's sake.

Reserve"AFC" for worst cases out there. Otherwise it'll just get devalued and people will be afraid to post about their failures.

I don't spend anytime with any girl unless I know it's totally worthy my time

'Cause if you spend time with girls who are not really worth it you would come across like a needy Stray Puppy. Am I right.
I personally don't know if a girl is worth my time either as a friend or girlfriend before I actually get out and spend that given time with her.
In my described case it wasn't worth my time.

don't mistake leaving for having balls or being a man. It takes as much ability as a man to stay and make the situation work for you, as it does to get up and leave and walk out

Well I guess since I don't "generate enough attraction" this will not be the only time this happens to me or any of you out there. The key is to find balance between walking out or staying.
I know that I'll stay as long as I feel I can still turn the tables and have a good time. I will leave the instant I no longer like what I'm doing

 

[t00dumb]

stray, i'm with you all the way bro

 

[TurboOverCubicInches]

A few things. A date progresses in stages. Just because she wasn't makin out with you or whatever when the band was playing doesn't mean she wasn't i interested in you anymore. You guys went to a concert (which, by the way, is a HORRIBLE DATE) where a band was gonna play loud music. How the heck are you supposed to build rapport in a situation like that? I'm assuming you're young and inexperienced, because anyone who's been dating for awhile probably won't choose to go to a concert for a date (sounds like this was your first date). Leaving was a big mistake. The "hot" part of a date usually happens at the end or towards the end of the date, whatever that may be, every girl is different. If i were you, I would have at least tried moshin with her playfully or putting your arms around her to try to gauge her interest. But you just left, which I think was a bad idea. Next time, remember a few points:

1) NEVER leave your date, no matter how bad its going, unless she begins to disrepect you OR you are 90% sure she wants out also.

2) NEVER choose a first date at a noisy place that minimizes interaction.

3) read the bible, go out with a few different girls in the coming weeks and learn to read interest level.

4) Its not like in the movies. A girl isn't going to jump on you an hour into the date. YES, if a girl likes you, you will know within the first 2 or 3 dates...in my opinion and from my expereience, if you are not making out (at least) by the 2nd date, it might not be a match.

hope this helps.

 

[some_dude]

i happen to think a concert is a good date setting. after being pumped up on a ministry show, i was all ready to lay this chick who was totally into me.

we knew each other beforehand and ran into each other over there.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Originally posted by DJDamage
Some women don't have class and show no respect. Even when they stopped being intrested in you they should still show respect.

Case in point, the AW that dumped me for another guy, wanted to meet with me after work to try smooth things over or for closure don't know which didn't really care. I was heartbroken then and when we met she had the oddacity to answer her cell phone when she was sitting in front of me. I was still fresh and hurt from this breakup that occured 3 days earlier and now she is sitting in front of me and chitchating on her cell with her new boyfriend!!!!! and I just sat there like a little b1tch amazed by her disrespectful behaviour. I just told her after that we can't be friends and then I drover her home!!!

Now I know I should have just got out and walked away and she would have walked home or better I should have never met her for that 'Closure' . I was a real AFC back then.

You just gave another answer to the question some guys ask here as to why there are woman haters on here. Let's see, on top off a lot of other things, they break your heart and the number one priority on their list is to get closure for themselves or damage control to keep you as a "friend". You're no longer getting any sexual needs satisfied by her. However, she's selfish enough to want to keep you as a "friend" to CONTINUE satisfying her emotional needs much like when you were still dating. Girls need to understand they can't have their cake and eat it to.

Too bad you were an AFC back then, I feel you. I had somewhat similar experiences. At least now we know better. Next time something like that happens the foot coming down. If they choose to cut off sexual access, you're cutting off emotional access. No, you're not staying "friends" after. BOTTOM LINE. No two ways about it.

P.S. The reason I put friends in quotes is because in cases like these, it's more often than not a one-way deal. You're not getting anything, but they're getting emotional satisfication. Real friendship is a two-way deal, hence the quotation marks.

 

[DJDamage]

Too bad you were an AFC back then, I feel you. I had somewhat similar experiences. At least now we know better. Next time something like that happens the foot coming down. If they choose to cut off sexual access, you're cutting off emotional access. No, you're not staying "friends" after. BOTTOM LINE. No two ways about it.

You are right about that TillTheEndOfTime. If I knew what I know today, I would have put my footdown very early in our "friendship quasi relationship" because I now know that after you reveal your attraction to AW's its game over. You essentially hand them your balls in one bag and your heart in the other and they will manipulate both to get emotional support and constant attension. This is why they are able to treat you like dirt and get away with it.

Lesson to be learned: You have to respect yourself, so others will respect you. If someone does not show you respect, you walk away with your dignity rather then lose it.

 

[johnny_chase]

Alright, lets clear something up here:

RESPECT IS EARNED. I dont have to respect anyone, and no one has to respect me. Gotta earn that ****.

BUT, courtesy is required. It is key to be courteous to people, and they you.

There is a difference between respect and courtesy

 

[Ricky]

I think hitting on the girls friends or other girls would have been in order.

Social proof with 3 girls in a bar is high. You could have definitely used that to your advantage.

That being said.. I still understand how you felt. YOu were expecting to have her alone and you didn't.

Maybe you should have called her out on it? I don't know.