Ditch Him?

evolvingnerd

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this new "friend" of mine right
he's a total loser
far out it's starting to piss me off
i'm friends with him cause he's nerdy and plays games with me ;)
but also cause he did show similarities with me
but now that i'm trying to become a DJ, i've noticed what a set back he is
he's totally unwilling to try out stuff and intereact with people
admittedly he's had a rough childhood, but ffs, he's gotta learn to socialise!
he came out with some stuff about "all my friends keep leaving me" like in yaer 6 and 10 and when he moved overseas and what not, so now he says he doesn't even try
wtf?!?
any ideas?
as of late, i've been pestering him to come out to teh shops with me and just hang, and today i kinda tested his afcness by forcing him to walk into a shop and ask about clothes
ffs, he couldn't even look her in the eyes, and when i questioned him about it, he's like i'm such an idiot for trying, and the whole exercise as to just going out and talking to ppl who are invariably paid to speak to you was also stupid

:confused: :confused:
 

Guitar_Whizz

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Are you from the UK, by any chance? I just recognise your dialect, it's sort of 'english' rather than 'american'. But I'd suggest you improve your grammer, learn to use full stops, capital letters and paragraphs.

But enough about your english. That 'friend' of yours....you will find as you improve yourself, you may 'outgrow' some of the friends you currently have. The reason is, you are changing for the better, while they are staying the same, and you will find they may drag you down.

True friends will respect the fact that you are 'maturing', and you will hang onto them. But you need to find the courage to leave old friends behind if you do not gain anything from being with them, and if they just frustrate you.

Find new friends or strengthen friendships with your true friends would be my advice.
 

ScrewIt

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I've known this nerd friend since J.H.S.

Since then till now, all hedoes is sit in front of his computer every single day playing games and whatnot.
a few months ago he told me he had social phobia and anxiety disorder.

It was unbelievable...that such a thing could happen to him...but it would make sense why he barely has myuch friends and always stays home.

I havent seen the dude face to face in yrs, but i still talk to him once in awhile online. and occasionally he bugs me to get the game he's playing so we can play together. and i've already lost interest in games. BUT I THINK nerds or ppl who arent that social like to waste their time in front of the comp, just simply cuz they have nothing else to do.

I suggest that if your friend doesnt want to "grow" w/you then leave him. Find a new friend that would grow with you. I just happens, friends from j.h or h.s., we just slowly grow apart...normally cuz we lose similar interests, and just in another ball park. It's just a part of life.

REMEMBER:: YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WANT CHANGE.
Besides, once ppl reach a certain age, it's hard for them to change, personality & habit wise.
 

evolvingnerd

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thanks fellas
i've dragged him out to a social event tonight (harbour cruise)
gonna throw him in the deep end and see what happens
cheers
 

neobrood

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I've known this nerd friend since J.H.S.

Since then till now, all he does is sit in front of his computer every single day playing games and whatnot.
a few months ago he told me he had social phobia and anxiety disorder.
tell me... how old is this guy anyway?
 

evolvingnerd

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ah well
the night was over
big surprise - i didn't dance
and the ladies we met up with, i wasn't as socialable as i dreamed
but as the night progressed and as the alcohol entered my bloodstream, i had them cracking up when needed

and i found, that by changing my posture (i noticed i hunch over much more than i though) and bu thrusting my chest out somewhat, aided by hands in pockets, i found much more ladies checking me out
but still no approaches
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by evolvingnerd
ah well
the night was over
big surprise - i didn't dance
and the ladies we met up with, i wasn't as socialable as i dreamed
but as the night progressed and as the alcohol entered my bloodstream, i had them cracking up when needed

and i found, that by changing my posture (i noticed i hunch over much more than i though) and bu thrusting my chest out somewhat, aided by hands in pockets, i found much more ladies checking me out
but still no approaches
Walking tall (literally and figuratively) makes all the difference in the world.

But it looks like what we have here is a case of the myopic leading the blind. So you've found this cool website that teaches you how to be more sociable with women, and suddenly you're trying to play "Grandmaster DJ" and teach everyone else "your" style.

Take it easy. Nothing was ever gained by trying to force style on people. Lead by example. As you start to get good with women, if your friend is interested, he'll WANT to hang around you more and learn your tricks, and all you have to do is give him the opportunity.

If not, just use him for a gaming partner and make other friends. A real "alpha-male" doesn't try to force betas into becoming alphas or get p!ssed off when they don't succeed. You should be able to stand tall in ANY company you keep.
 

MacDiddy

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Dude, quit blamming your mate for ruining your game or for not sharing your level of enthusiasm for the opposite sex. Go out and find new ones who share your new philosophies in life. Good Luck.
 

evolvingnerd

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true true
i did come out sounding like quite the jackass
but my friend here couldn't even socialise with my nerd buddies
nevermind
i'm pretty sure he's interested in becoming more successful with women
i'll go with squirrel's advice
cheers
 
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