distance LTR unhappy that I will only meet if there is a chance to bang?

[Scormus]

OK so my distance LTR is saying I should call regularly without prompting (I only call her when she asks me to) and that I should visit her more often, however logistically as she works nights at a casino, this means if I do visit her more frequently on some of those occasions there won't be an opportunity to bang.

So I don't.

Am I right to only want to meet when there is an opportunity to bang? I have banged her every time we've met since the 3rd date.

I've not voiced my "no bang, no meet" policy explicitly but is it obvious to her when she suggests meeting for a few hours before her work, and I counter that she should visit me for an overnighter instead? She seemed to be upset at that today and I can't think of any reason she'd be upset other than that she's noticed?

Should I just hold frame and ignore the complaints, or should I do the AFC thing and meet ONCE where I wouldn't be able to get the bang? I feel the latter could be the path to betahood and loss of attraction.

 

[Scormus]

Her period is towards the end of the month, so that wouldn't be it.

Objectively I have been NC for up to a week at a time, and have had her initiating all the contact lately. I thought this was a turnaround from the early days when I was initiating contact most of the time.

 

[Scormus]

Distance

How far is the distance you are apart?

3.5 hours by fast train each way, 7 hours round trip.

She is high maintenance and her act is starting to wear thin on me.

 

[Kailex]

Long distance LTR that takes 3.5 hours just to get to? I don't blame you if you didn't want to meet up just to bang.

She's starting to curb her own attitude towards you because she realizes you are only meeting up just for that. Trust me, she knows.

It's too far for me that I wouldn't take it too seriously, she just wants to see how serious you are for the same reason. Why did you get into an LTR with her if it is long distance? Did one of you move or did you willingly jump into exclusivity while in an LDR?

 

[Scormus]

what's wrong with that

She's starting to curb her own attitude towards you because she realizes you are only meeting up just for that. Trust me, she knows.

Did one of you move or did you willingly jump into exclusivity while in an LDR?

What's wrong with it if I am in it mainly to bang? I dislike women's characters outside of that.

I had to move for work reasons several months ago.

Am I being selfish or is she?

 

[Colossus]

I don't really blame you Scormus, but I agree with Kailex, she knows you are mainly in it for the pvssy.

There's nothing wrong with that per se, but relationships like that have a short shelf life. She is testing you to see if you care about her beyond getting laid.

3.5 hours is a huge pain in the as$ and I wouldn't wanna go if I weren't going to get some either. I was long distance with my gf for about 9 months before she moved to my city and it was a GIVEN that there would be copious bl0wjobs and sex when we saw each other.

You basically have 2 options: Give her what she wants and visit her minus the sex (which she will then interpret as commitment), or stick to your guns and wait for her to blow up. No woman can handle being a sex toy permanently.

 

[Kailex]

I never said there was anything wrong with it... I said I don't blame you for wanting to do it that way.

Both of you are being selfish (not in a bad way either)... and you are both at different points in the relationship. You both want different things. There's no "villain" in this scenario. Just be ready because that train is coming off the rails pretty soon. The LDR aspect of it is only going to intensify and speed up that process.

 

[Scormus]

At least part of the problem is that she is selfish and high maintenance by nature.

But aren't nearly all bangable women like that in this sausage factory known as the Western world?

 

[Bible_Belt]

My gf is 30 minutes away, and I only go to her house if we're going to fvck.

Honestly, how much time does it really take for a woman to get a man off if she is in a hurry? I'm sure she spends more time on her makeup.

I think any LDR is stupid, but to your girl's credit, you don't mention any trips you have made where she denied you sex. You can't complain about something she hasn't done yet. Even if she is on her period, any woman should be grateful enough for you traveling seven hours to see her that she spends seven minutes blowing you.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Scormus,
L.D.R's are a lost cause,rather than seeing her more,you need to see her less...She works in a Casino,she gets knocked onto every night!...Such Women are too Street Savvy for us!

 

[sodbuster]

Just tell her I don't want to travel for 7 hours in order to have you work. I want to spend time with YOU. I can watch TV at home

 

[Scormus]

issues

Just tell her I don't want to travel for 7 hours in order to have you work. I want to spend time with YOU. I can watch TV at home

The issue I have is that she expects me to put her first but in return she puts visiting her son in her home country first then her own whims second. She was spoiled as a youngest child and is used to exes and orbiters kissing her ass. She wants me to do all the work - it doesn't seem malicious or low interest level, her line is that a guy who doesn't, doesn't really care.

At this point I am losing interest and am leaning toward going ghost for a while if not for good. I feel if I give even an inch here I will be even unhappier than I am now - I am growing disillusioned and put off by her not thinking about my needs and making heavy wind of her petty whims like the world depends on them.


What gives me pause is that from what I have read on here and ROK, *all*
women are selfish, ungrateful, view us men as a means to an end, and will
only be there for the good times.

If they are all like her what is to gain from nexting her?

 

[glass half full]

switch the game around and see if she is willing to make that trip without there being something "special" in it for her. Then watch for the truth.