Dissolving My Marriage

[EyeBRollin]

What's with all the shaming tactics dude? It's like you assume my wife is an overall good woman who has done no wrong. She will pick a fight over anything and keep it going for literal days. Idk anyone who would want to put up with that, nevermind risk losing half their income indefinitely for That.

What I'm getting out of my marriage isn't enough to take the risks I'm forced to take. If the state wasn't involved, I wouldn't even want a divorce, but I have to protect myself.

If she wants to leave, that's up to her. I don't want to leave, I only want financial protection.

There’s no shame. I believe you regarding your wife. This is how the world will see it. You are the one that has to explain to the court, your daughter, and people why you walked out on the marriage. People are going to ask!

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

If that is what you want to do, go for it. It is good to not waste time. If you no longer want the marriage, release yourself and your wife.

Consider that the court, your daughter, and outsiders will not look at you fondly for this. Essentially, you are saying you too good for family because you had a come up.

-You have to be able to explain to the court, and future serious LTR prospects that you ended this marriage because you grew into more money and more ego, and that your ex wife had nothing to do with this ascension and deserves none of it.

-You have to explain to your daughter and live with the ramifications for the rest of your life why you walked out on her.

-You have to truly believe what’s out there on the sexual market is better for your future. “Quality” women will not view you favorably for abandoning your first marriage. Causal relationships likely won’t care, but those will eventually get old. Keep in mind that 99% of single women out there are trash. The good ones are taken. That’s what you want?

LOL what is all this fear mongering BS bro? Its not death is a divorce, he doesn't owe explanation to anyone, and her daughter will understand that when there is no love, is better to part ways.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

None of you have any idea of what I know and don’t know. Easily half of ya’ll have never been married had kids, or even cohabitated with a women. Just facts.

I also have had acquaintances that have followed the same path @Money & Muscle is on at the moment. It did not end well, and he and I have had many discussions about the situation. He knows specific details about my past as we have shared a lot.

As far as shaming, it’s not really, it’s just calling it out as I see it. A good woman that is SAHM in a marriage while the man works is investing in him and their future as he matures and gains expertise and better wages, she is managing the home and the kids and all the cotidian while he earns. This is the reason courts grant alimony. In the case where the woman works out of the home and earns at the same level as the man, no alimony or child support is paid provided the man accepts his 50% custody of his the children. In stay at home mom cases again she has left behind having and developing a career in support of the marriage and deserves the same as the man does. For the record nowadays men are getting half in divorce, if she grossly outearns him he gets alimony.

Have there been crazy divorce laws on the books? Yes.

You youngesters are always so cawksure and full of piss and vinegar, it’s kind of comical to see it from up here.

The fact that you @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz see it the way you do is just because of your lack of experience as a husband and and good father, its

Nobody owes anyone, anything bro. The same way she can divorce him to get with another guy even if he was an excellent man, he can do the same, your shaming tactic is very low and quite disappointing for a guy who fills his mouth in how great his life is after divorce.

This forum is to help guys, not women, women have their own spaces everywhere. You're shaming him without even knowing his situation, and being a beta white knight for a woman who you don't even know. If staying married is not what he wants, then give him advice on how to successful, not shaming him into staying married wtf.

 

[EyeBRollin]

LOL what is all this fear mongering BS bro? Its not death is a divorce, he doesn't owe explanation to anyone, and her daughter will understand that when there is no love, is better to part ways.

Go into divorce court and tell the judge you owe no explanation for walking out on wife and daughter. Good luck with that.

Lol. You are clinically insane if you think his daughter will “understand” this.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Go into divorce court and tell the judge you owe no explanation for walking out on wife and daughter. Good luck with that.

Lol. You are clinically insane if you think his daughter will “understand” this.

The thing is that I'm not walking out on them. I'm protecting myself financially.
If my wife sees that as too much to bear, then she will choose to walk out at that point. I've no intention of breaking up my family; if protecting myself financially is enough for my wife to make her want to leave - it sounds that she would do this anyways.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The thing is that I'm not walking out on them. I'm protecting myself financially.
If my wife sees that as too much to bear, then she will choose to walk out at that point. I've no intention of breaking up my family; if protecting myself financially is enough for my wife to make her want to leave - it sounds that she would do this anyways.

There is no protecting yourself financially in a marriage. As a nuclear family unit, you are one unit. It is not only your money.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

The fact that you @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz see it the way you do is just because of your lack of experience as a husband and and good father, its

I just see reality of today, nobody owes anyone anything, you're not obligated to stay with anyone if you don't want to, her job was SAHM his jobs was working outside, I agree with alimony in that case, but if a man no longer wants to sleep with his wife and nuke the marriage, so be it, same as women when they "fall out of love"

Go into divorce court and tell the judge you owe no explanation for walking out on wife and daughter. Good luck with that.

Lol. You are clinically insane if you think his daughter will “understand” this.

Bro wtf are you saying, in a no-fault divorce state you just get divorced with "irreconcilable differences" what are you smoking? Then they calculate how much pay and child custody, do you even know the law?

When the daughter see him happy with another women, she will know the difference and will have an example of what a happy couple is.

 

[Money & Muscle]

When the daughter see him happy with another women, she will know the difference and will have an example of what a happy couple is.

Id rather my daughter see me happy with her mother, not worried that her mother is going to up and leave with half my stuff and half my income.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Bro wtf are you saying, in a no-fault divorce state you just get divorced with "irreconcilable differences" what are you smoking? Then they calculate how much pay and child custody, do you even know the law?

When the daughter see him happy with another women, she will know the difference and will have an example of what a happy couple is.

You’re lost.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP I think you need to layoff the red pill stuff for a while. What you are proposing is insane and delusional.

I kind of agree... it's like OP has already decided what the ending will be and so now he is looking at exit strategies to limit his losses.

Except the ending hasn't been written, there is nothing to really suggest this is what his wife wants to do and if anything his trying to have threesomes or bang other women is what is more likely to cause it...honestly I was half expecting her to leave you on the spot.

IMHO, OP is his own biggest problem right now.

Whatever has induced this sort of paranoia into you, please stop before it's too late. If it's this site then I suggest taking some time away from it, with all due respect.

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[Money & Muscle]

Except the ending hasn't been written, there is nothing to really suggest this is what his wife wants to do

If the past 8 years is an indicator - she won't leave but I won't be happy.
So if I choose to leave in the future, because I gave up on an argumentative wife, I am at her mercy if she wants to take me for half my stuff and future earnings.

I have no way of knowing how she will act in the future. Mind you, in CA, my wife could sleep with a different dude every night forever - and still take me for half my money indefinitely because I chose to leave. I am 100% at her mercy... how can any man me the kind of husband and father he needs to be under such pretenses?

IMHO, OP is his own biggest problem right now.

Maybe, or maybe I'm saving myself from a lifetime of indentured servitude. Again, i have no say in what happens now or in 2 years - the difference is that now I'd only have to suffer 4 years of alimony versus 40.

I'm taking the bird in hand and hoping my wife will choose to be with me anyways. If she doesn't, well that sucks, but I accept that outcome.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Jeez..... i finally start to see why women get it all these days, when even on a forum like this squadrons of white knights ride out to defend the damsel in distress they have never met.

Nobody knows shyt about that woman and yet you tell brother @Money & Muscle HE got it all wrong and that his marriage is perfect except for him and that its his duty to stay until the bitter end however it may come!

I mean did you even read the title of this Fred? It doesnt say "Change my mind!"

Why does anyone think he has the right to talk down on him? Most of all people that havent even been married for a couple of years and/or had kids for themselves?

He made a decision based on his experience with his wife.

Some of you are foaming feminists, throwing **** at him like "you just want to fvck around and have threesomes" while nobody seems to even consider that woman might actually be a pain in the ass due to her nature.

There is way to much emotion in here!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Jeez..... i finally start to see why women get it all these days, when even on a forum like this squadrons of white knights ride out to defend the damsel in distress they have never met.

Nobody knows shyt about that woman and yet you tell brother @Money & Muscle HE got it all wrong and that his marriage is perfect except for him and that its his duty to stay until the bitter end however it may come!

Quote one person in this thread that said the OP has a perfect marriage and that his wife is helpless.

 

[Slowhandluke]

None of you have any idea of what I know and don’t know. Easily half of ya’ll have never been married had kids, or even cohabitated with a women. Just facts.

I also have had acquaintances that have followed the same path @Money & Muscle is on at the moment. It did not end well, and he and I have had many discussions about the situation. He knows specific details about my past as we have shared a lot.

As far as shaming, it’s not really, it’s just calling it out as I see it. A good woman that is SAHM in a marriage while the man works is investing in him and their future as he matures and gains expertise and better wages, she is managing the home and the kids and all the cotidian while he earns. This is the reason courts grant alimony. In the case where the woman works out of the home and earns at the same level as the man, no alimony or child support is paid provided the man accepts his 50% custody of his the children. In stay at home mom cases again she has left behind having and developing a career in support of the marriage and deserves the same as the man does. For the record nowadays men are getting half in divorce, if she grossly outearns him he gets alimony.

Have there been crazy divorce laws on the books? Yes.

You youngesters are always so cawksure and full of piss and vinegar, it’s kind of comical to see it from up here.

The fact that you @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz see it the way you do is just because of your lack of experience as a husband and and good father, its

I've been married. the state needs to get out of marriage in general.

Times have changed.. men have to adapt... if the woman loves the guys she will stay.. . if not, then it is what it is.. it was only "his turn"... if she does not understand why he is divorcing her, then she will not be smart enough to fight the many influences in society that will try and influence her to divorce him later because of "reasons".

society enables stupid, emotional women to do stupid stuff that hurts relationships and ultimately men. men need to protect themselves as best as they can... and by extensions in some cases, by protecting themselves, they are also protecting their partners.. dont leave a loaded gun on a table expecting stupid people not to play with it.

 

[member162951]

I just see reality of today, nobody owes anyone anything, you're not obligated to stay with anyone if you don't want to....

Sadly, I agree it is the reality of today.
I'm generalizing, but people don't value commitment anymore, they don't take the marital vows THEY made seriously which by the way DO mean you're 'obligated' that's precisely what marital commitment means. Especially with regard to your children.

It's "I vow to love, honor, cherish and protect for as long as we both shall live." Or variations thereof.

I'm not even judging or shaming, people change, grow apart, shyt happens. We try our best, sadly it doesn't always work.

And often times it IS better for the kids if their parents divorced versus having them witness the animosity, resentment and distrust their parents have for each other, the latter of which can really screw them up.

But make no mistake, marital commitment does
mean 'obligated' and if you (generic you) don't want that obligation, DON'T get married.

No sense denying it, or relying on clichés such as "no one owes each other anything." Come on. When you choose to marry and make that commitment, such clichés mean jack shyt.

If you choose to break the vows and leave, own it (including your role in the breakdown), take responsibility for it and live with the consequences, negative and positive.

Hopefully you learned something valuable to take with you as you move forward with your life.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don't know, but if you don't care about your marriage anymore, why should we?

 

[Slowhandluke]

the way i see it, he's not breaking the vows. he's only taking the government out of his relationship.

you don't need a piece of paper to be committed to someone... however, in a lot of cases, you do need a piece of paper to have your financial life ruined to the point that many men commit suicide.

break the cycle. make marriage more like how it was in the past where people could NOT divorce rape anyone.

oh, one of my friends is in a committed relationship with a girl. they will never get married (both were married b4, she's 15 years his jr). to show his commitment he did put her in his will. basically, she will get everything if he dies before her. it works for the both of them. no marriage, no fuss..

 

[member162951]

you don't need a piece of paper to be committed to someone.

Wholeheartedly agree! So why get married? I suppose if a couple wants kids, it's better for the them, gives them a sense of security. But with the current divorce statistics, that security may be short-lived anyway.

In any event, M&M did get married, he did sign that piece of paper. And if he chooses to leave, he's breaking vows which I'm not judging him for, again people grow apart and shyt happens; only suggesting he take responsibility and own HIS role.

 

[EyeBRollin]

the way i see it, he's not breaking the vows. he's only taking the government out of his relationship.

you don't need a piece of paper to be committed to someone... however, in a lot of cases, you do need a piece of paper to have your financial life ruined to the point that many men commit suicide.

We get what @Money & Muscle is trying to do.. it is just highly unlikely to result in the desired outcome. The probable outcome is rapid dissolution of the marriage on his wife’s end, followed by him getting bent over by the court. Then his relationship with his daughter will also be ruined on top of that. And for what exactly? “Financial freedom.” He’s going to be made an example of in the courts because his reasoning and mindset behind this is poorly thought out.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Jeez..... i finally start to see why women get it all these days, when even on a forum like this squadrons of white knights ride out to defend the damsel in distress they have never met.

Nobody knows shyt about that woman and yet you tell brother @Money & Muscle HE got it all wrong and that his marriage is perfect except for him and that its his duty to stay until the bitter end however it may come!

I mean did you even read the title of this Fred? It doesnt say "Change my mind!"

Why does anyone think he has the right to talk down on him? Most of all people that havent even been married for a couple of years and/or had kids for themselves?

He made a decision based on his experience with his wife.

Some of you are foaming feminists, throwing **** at him like "you just want to fvck around and have threesomes" while nobody seems to even consider that woman might actually be a pain in the ass due to her nature.

There is way to much emotion in here!

Basically if you read any of the other threads on the topic and don't see that OP is his own biggest problem at this point in his marriage I am not sure what to tell you.

I'm assuming you are working with little what little info there is in this thread so perhaps you should catch up on the rest of it.