well here's an update, we finally met up for me to teach her golf (we didn't on sunday cos it was raining, she cancelled but i didnt really wanna get soaked either)
we had fun, she had a good time, but i could tell her attraction for me was nil. she didn't even wear perfume, no make up. any time i suggested 'we' do something together somewhere just as an imaginationary thing she didn't seem keen. basically she's using me for attention to make herself feel good.
at the end when we were walking back i tried to escalate, i asked her how does she normally dress when she goes out, then i asked her how would she dress for me.. she said 'casual, very casual' that was nail in coffin anyway but i didnt let it phase me. she then went on about how she only dates tall guys, we're the same height so thats understandable but i didn't let that knock me back.
then this is where it got iffy, she started to offer info to me that were red flags '95% of my friends are guys..' i called her out on this.. 'oh so you're 1 of THOSE girls then'
we then pretty much got into an argument/debate about behavior and what is considered acceptable.. basically i was calling her out for using guys for attention leading them on, she kept denying it and it got pretty heated (stirring up emotions i guess isn't a bad thing though isn't doing me any help) and i said to her 'so u give your number to a guy and go for a drink/dinner with him and if he tries to kiss u and you reject it, you'll still go on another date with him?' she goes 'yeah, i made it pretty clear im not interested by rejecting the kiss so... it's ok we're friends they understand that'
this gave me major alarm signals that fair enough she's not into me but she's probably a low quality girl anyway and her only GIRL friends are other girls like her who have 95% male friends cos no other girls like them. she could be worse though and have zero female friends.
anyway seeing as the emotions were so heated and she was getting angry she tried to bait me out by saying 'oh i never go on a date/drink/dinner' with a guy.. only once in my life.. it was last summer and a hot spanish guy blah blah... basically she was tryna get a rise out of me to emasculate me.. but i didnt fall for it.. i just chose to criticise her for leading him on rather than acting jealous. then i changed subject but i should have tried to be c+f i.e. a good side of myself.. not 1 who is criticizing her for being an attention wh0re.. i even said it.. 'do u know what an attention wh0re is?' hahaha.. it really got a rise out of her. by then my IL in her was low.. i knew she was just using me for validation so i just lost interest and couldn't really be bothered to listen to her..
i walked her to halfway between where i lived and where she lived.. it was already a bit dark should i have walked her back? i know it's the gentlemanly thing to do but i didn't care anymore.
i didn't like how she said that 'guys are like conveyor belts, you have short life span of friendship with them.. nor more than a few weeks' this really p1ssed me off and i said 'i lose respect for women who say ''well if he doesn't call me again he isn't worth it'' cos that signifies you think you're better than the other person'
i know she's not interested, you guys told me this, i fluffed at the beginning not being direct enough and talking too long.. it's fine. it's a punt.
but i need to learn from this interaction, should i have given the emotions i had her running through her when we were arguing/debating.. should i have showcased my more c0cky funny side and at the same time disqualify her?
i basically gave up and couldn't be bothered but i had to walk her about 20mins down the road so i could either have done what i did and talk about something more mundane or just tried to act more like i was trying it.
i feel confused now what i should have done.
we had fun, she had a good time, but i could tell her attraction for me was nil. she didn't even wear perfume, no make up. any time i suggested 'we' do something together somewhere just as an imaginationary thing she didn't seem keen. basically she's using me for attention to make herself feel good.
at the end when we were walking back i tried to escalate, i asked her how does she normally dress when she goes out, then i asked her how would she dress for me.. she said 'casual, very casual' that was nail in coffin anyway but i didnt let it phase me. she then went on about how she only dates tall guys, we're the same height so thats understandable but i didn't let that knock me back.
then this is where it got iffy, she started to offer info to me that were red flags '95% of my friends are guys..' i called her out on this.. 'oh so you're 1 of THOSE girls then'
we then pretty much got into an argument/debate about behavior and what is considered acceptable.. basically i was calling her out for using guys for attention leading them on, she kept denying it and it got pretty heated (stirring up emotions i guess isn't a bad thing though isn't doing me any help) and i said to her 'so u give your number to a guy and go for a drink/dinner with him and if he tries to kiss u and you reject it, you'll still go on another date with him?' she goes 'yeah, i made it pretty clear im not interested by rejecting the kiss so... it's ok we're friends they understand that'
this gave me major alarm signals that fair enough she's not into me but she's probably a low quality girl anyway and her only GIRL friends are other girls like her who have 95% male friends cos no other girls like them. she could be worse though and have zero female friends.
anyway seeing as the emotions were so heated and she was getting angry she tried to bait me out by saying 'oh i never go on a date/drink/dinner' with a guy.. only once in my life.. it was last summer and a hot spanish guy blah blah... basically she was tryna get a rise out of me to emasculate me.. but i didnt fall for it.. i just chose to criticise her for leading him on rather than acting jealous. then i changed subject but i should have tried to be c+f i.e. a good side of myself.. not 1 who is criticizing her for being an attention wh0re.. i even said it.. 'do u know what an attention wh0re is?' hahaha.. it really got a rise out of her. by then my IL in her was low.. i knew she was just using me for validation so i just lost interest and couldn't really be bothered to listen to her..
i walked her to halfway between where i lived and where she lived.. it was already a bit dark should i have walked her back? i know it's the gentlemanly thing to do but i didn't care anymore.
i didn't like how she said that 'guys are like conveyor belts, you have short life span of friendship with them.. nor more than a few weeks' this really p1ssed me off and i said 'i lose respect for women who say ''well if he doesn't call me again he isn't worth it'' cos that signifies you think you're better than the other person'
i know she's not interested, you guys told me this, i fluffed at the beginning not being direct enough and talking too long.. it's fine. it's a punt.
but i need to learn from this interaction, should i have given the emotions i had her running through her when we were arguing/debating.. should i have showcased my more c0cky funny side and at the same time disqualify her?
i basically gave up and couldn't be bothered but i had to walk her about 20mins down the road so i could either have done what i did and talk about something more mundane or just tried to act more like i was trying it.
i feel confused now what i should have done.