displaying higher values online ( without a phyiscal medium)

[appasionata]

I was agreesive because I wanted you to frame the question a little better. That's all.

You didn't even read the question before attacking me about my nickname and my ethical views.

Although I tried to tell you that I am not seeking help from you in particular, you stayed involved and acted like this place is owned by you.

My english for a foreigner is much better than even many native speakers and I am not from any of the countries you cited ( yet another wrong guess, sorry)

And most people would think that I am doing very well although I am a foreigner. Don't worry about my career or english, I am in a very safe and satisfying position.

 

[jophil28]

I think I can vaguely "see" what you are describing by that. They really seem to enjoy qualifying your requirements.

I will quickly mobilize this relationship - and even if I get rejected at a point, I believe I have a thick skin.

YES ! "..qualifying (to) your requirements " is a good way to put it . If a woman is doing that then she is in your frame and you are NOT in her's - good job so far. It also indicates that she has at least a MODERATE interest level in you,

If you are LEADING the connection with her and NOT trying to seek her approval ,she is most likely to try to seek your approval by "qualifying to your requirements" and it will be OBVIOUS to you that she is doing so - her early behavior will be "girly " and flirty.

THis is how how initial interest level usually reveals itself.

However IL, by itself , is NOT a guarantee of much of anything at all. What REALLY matters is that she sees your VALUE as a man OVERLAID on top of the initial attraction. THis does not necessarily mean $$$ or status.. (however these attributes never hurt ,LOL )

I am going to call in Guru here to expand on the concept of VALUE .
However be warned - his philosphies are ADVANCED and require a precision of thought and discipline.( Not for the rookie or the average grunt)

Good hunting ..

 

[potato]

So my questions : How can I really simulate that I am a desired man who has many other options, and at the same time, I need to be in some sort of communication with these women because their ILs are simply too low at the moment.

My conflict is , whenever I call one up, I am degrading my value on their perspective and that eventually breaks the whole purpose.

So I am pointing out a theoretical conflict here, - to increase a woman's IL and not to seem like they are the only plates you have.

Thanks for the comments!

Part of your problem seems to be that you are not in the practice of just hanging out talking with women. Part of getting a thing going with a woman, even if it is just hanging out with her, or getting to know her to decide if you might like her requires, in many instances, just talking about whatever, everyday things. It is in the conversations where you demonstrate your value – not directly, but by just talking much of your personality and how you are comes out.

To not seem needy is in your attitude as much as anything, and not being whiney.

Don’t call unless it was agreed that you would. To get a woman going you really need to be talking with her face to face, being flirty.

 

[appasionata]

Part of your problem seems to be that you are not in the practice of just hanging out talking with women. Part of getting a thing going with a woman, even if it is just hanging out with her, or getting to know her to decide if you might like her requires, in many instances, just talking about whatever, everyday things. It is in the conversations where you demonstrate your value – not directly, but by just talking much of your personality and how you are comes out.

To not seem needy is in your attitude as much as anything, and not being whiney.

Don’t call unless it was agreed that you would. To get a woman going you really need to be talking with her face to face, being flirty.

Thank you for the advice. We are going to Chicago tomorrow. I'll minimize the amount of calling/chatting.

 

[appasionata]

YES ! "..qualifying (to) your requirements " is a good way to put it . If a woman is doing that then she is in your frame and you are NOT in her's - good job so far. It also indicates that she has at least a MODERATE interest level in you,

If you are LEADING the connection with her and NOT trying to seek her approval ,she is most likely to try to seek your approval by "qualifying to your requirements" and it will be OBVIOUS to you that she is doing so - her early behavior will be "girly " and flirty.

THis is how how initial interest level usually reveals itself.

However IL, by itself , is NOT a guarantee of much of anything at all. What REALLY matters is that she sees your VALUE as a man OVERLAID on top of the initial attraction. THis does not necessarily mean $$$ or status.. (however these attributes never hurt ,LOL )

I am going to call in Guru here to expand on the concept of VALUE .
However be warned - his philosphies are ADVANCED and require a precision of thought and discipline.( Not for the rookie or the average grunt)

Good hunting ..

Thanks for the great post Jophil. I am not vert familiar with the concepts yet. But I am, in any intimate relation, trying to define the "frame" myself and putting her in a position as to she feels obliged to qualify herself to be approved/identified by me. Thanks for correcting the English, as well. I am constantly in improvement :cheer:

salut mon ami ! éé

 

[jophil28]

salut mon ami ! éé

Merci , you came upon this board just at the right time.
THis is " your lucky jour "... ha ha !

Stay plugged in and we will energize you - just like the Eveready Rabbit ( ? Or is that Duracell ?)

 

[jophil28]

How I let them know I'm high value is by indirectly telling them that I have high standards (which I do). ie I just mention past relationships where the girl didn't live up to my standards etc..

THat is close enough to the Guru/ Latinoman/ Jophil method in those two sentences .


VALUE is not about money or status or power even though these will often ATTRACT women. However money and power are manytimes used by guys as 'substitutes' for real personal VALUE which emanates from practising personal INTEGRITY and unrelenting limit setting ( often called boundaries here ).
I do not want this thread to be derailed by another INTEGRITY debate so lets not go there now , I am sure that another tread will startup along those lines soon enough.

 

[appasionata]

Merci , you came upon this board just at the right time.
THis is " your lucky jour "... ha ha !

Stay plugged in and we will energize you - just like the Eveready Rabbit ( ? Or is that Duracell ?)

It's definitely "un jour chanceux" ( a lucky day) - but tell me why did I come just about the right time ?

I'll stay plugged for sure and I have already started to feel the confidence of being backed by this amazing place!

Ok, I am the Duracell drummer or Eveready Rabbit! :crackup:

 

[appasionata]

THat is close enough to the Guru/ Latinoman/ Jophil method in those two sentences .


VALUE is not about money or status or power even though these will often ATTRACT women. However money and power are manytimes used by guys as 'substitutes' for real personal VALUE which emanates from practising personal INTEGRITY and unrelenting limit setting ( often called boundaries here ).
I do not want this thread to be derailed by another INTEGRITY debate so lets not go there now , I am sure that another tread will startup along those lines soon enough.

That looks like a very subtle, yet effective way of "projecting" value. You are not overtly mentioning it, that would disturb the overall effect but projecting it to your past is sending a meta-message.

It isn't difficult yet it seems very effective. I am feeling that I am waking up from my long AFC sleep. Thanks to this forum!

Meanwhile my LTR gf is complaining that I am not calling her enough, to give my daily sign-offs, so to speak. I have boldly rejected by saying that if there's a problem, either party can call the other. I hate this type of women behavior where they are checking your commitment level with their foolishly defined reliability tests.

 

[jophil28]

It's definitely "un jour chanceux" ( a lucky day) - but tell me why did I come just about the right time ?

Stick around doc, you will get what I am saying as we go along.
The sorry collection of bad boys here is the Father you never had.

 

[guru1000]

I am going to call in Guru here to expand on the concept of VALUE .
However be warned - his philosphies are ADVANCED and require a precision of thought and discipline.( Not for the rookie or the average grunt)
.

Ahh VALUE. With the community filled with so many PUA's and so called Don Juans, most men have forgotten how to naturally attract women.

Our forefathers never needed to read books on how to ATTRACT. Their whole lives revolved around increasing value fueled by understanding natural ambition and framework.

As I said once:

The essence of being a DJ is creating so much VALUE within yourself that women are simply the by-product, not the goal

The cardinal rule of how to NATURALLY attract is to understand women are not the goal. Nor are they the PRIZE. They simply are the By-Product of your VALUE.

I am very successful with women. I used to be wealthy and have high status. I have a negative net worth now with no status. Yet I attract the same HOT women. How could that be?

My TANGIBLES might have changed but I am the SAME.

There is no DIFFERENCE in my VALUE.

I am.

What is the difference between you and the PACK?

Most men chase women. Most women chase me.

Why? This is what I expect of them.

How does one CREATE value?

FRAMEWORK.

This is DEEP TERRITORY which is worthy of another thread.

The FRAME is the most powerful yet fundamental element in any dynamic.

Here is a little quick convo of covert framework,

Plate: Do you go to strip clubs?

ME: No.

Plate: Why?

Me: Why would I feel the need to give money to a girl for getting naked. Who is she? For me to show up, I should be given money.

The CONTEXT of how you interact will show how much VALUE you PERCEIVE to have.

A woman will PERCEIVE what the CONTEXT allows her to PERCEIVE.

Most importantly,

This VALUE must be real. Do not artificially INJECT IT.

 

[Latinoman]

You didn't even read the question before attacking me about my nickname and my ethical views.

Although I tried to tell you that I am not seeking help from you in particular, you stayed involved and acted like this place is owned by you.

My english for a foreigner is much better than even many native speakers and I am not from any of the countries you cited ( yet another wrong guess, sorry)

And most people would think that I am doing very well although I am a foreigner. Don't worry about my career or english, I am in a very safe and satisfying position.

Listen...I read the question. And I understood the question perfectly.

I also noticed English was not your first language. So I thought you were a foreigner which probably was brought up in a society in which men will cheat, etc. I never said you were from those Nations, I said your native language was perhaps a romantic language (such as Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, etc.).

I wanted you to frame the question better to made that fact clear.

I personally don't care about your morals. And I am not into preaching my morals to anyone. I wanted you to clarify certain points first.

Don't be defensive. Not good to be defensive.

Take care. You will get a lot of solid advice too.