Disinterested or playing hard to get: how do you tell the difference?

[DiegoSantori]

I think, the fact that women are constantly told to play hard to get makes it extremely difficult to spot if she's just not that into you or if she has read some advice on the internet that is telling her to act disinterested. Is anyone able to detect the difference between real and fake disinterest? If so, feel free to tell me!

 

[DiegoSantori]

What if she is counter offering a date with the words "soon, when I'm less busy".

 

[pyros]

What if she is counter offering a date with the words "soon, when I'm less busy".

Soft excuse to show she's not interested.

If Kate Upton asked you out...even if you were really busy...you WOULD FIND SOME TIME TO SEE HER, right? or would you go somethign like:

Kate Upton: so... I was wondering would you like to grab a coffee sometime?
you: maybe when I am less busy.
Kate Upton: (wtf?)

LOL.
Same applies the other way around.

 

[Who Dares Win]

It can be hard to tell but it can be recognized.

Lets say that you invited her to a date and she says she is busy, then you tell her that its fine and dont offer or hint there will be future invitations.

A girl playing hard to get would probably hint that next week she will be free while an uninterested girl will simply either say that she is sorry and let it go.

Dont get me wrong the first case may be an uninterested girl simply loving your attentions and throwing you a bait, but the second case is surely and uninterested one.

Also the time/lenght of her replies to your message is a good benchmark, replies coming after long time, being short and apathetic are sign of low interest.

Usually a girl playing hard to get makes you work but allow interactions to happen and when she feels that you are dropping will soften her shield.

I got a girl home once started kissing her and getting her naked, the she pushed me away and telling me to stop, I kept pushing and pushing even with force till she told me I was hurting her, I then stopped and moved back to my side of the bed she waited few seconds and when realized I was going to sleep for real, grabbed my hand and restarted kissing me, thats the biggest hard to get example I have to tell.

 

[Dgwizdal]

I know a couple girls who have done this in the past to me - they will put up a b!tch shield and play hard to get because

A: They want to make sure that you're NOT going to get needy and lame if they fvck you around a bit (Sh!t test) Usually from hotter chicks.
B: They want to gain power
C: They want you to chase abit as they are aware their SMV is lower than yours.

So, it is pretty easy to be able to tell whether your in the above situations or their distance is due to low interest.

When she throws you a curve ball, Que: Amused Mastery, Assume the Sale, and then Drop off the face of the earth. She will reach out with something dumb or irrelevant to tell you. (BIG GIVEAWAY) And then when she does, aloof/jerk game, or don't respond at all. Fall off the face of the earth again. From there, reach out or next time she reaches out, run with the same frame and then ask for a meetup. You will have some good tension built and she won't be able to bluff anymore. You will have passed all 3 of the above scenarios because you were a good sport and played her game a bit without getting needy, shook, or giving up.

Unfortunately, in your situation, it sounds like she's not interested as she didn't counter offer. Didn't even give you a specific excuse as to why she can't meet, and hasn't thrown you any other bones.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

"hot girls" will play all the timing and delay games that dj's play.

I guess the best policy is to call them on their $hit and not take it. They will have a choice to try to play these games on you or do that to the next sucker while dealing with you like a rational knowledgable human.

 

[DiegoSantori]

"hot girls" will play all the timing and delay games that dj's play.

In other words, it's impossible to tell the difference between playing hard to get and being disinterested.

 

[Dgwizdal]

In other words, it's impossible to tell the difference between playing hard to get and being disinterested.

Not at all. Read my post

 

[DiegoSantori]

I know a couple girls who have done this in the past to me - they will put up a b!tch shield and play hard to get because

A: They want to make sure that you're NOT going to get needy and lame if they fvck you around a bit (Sh!t test) Usually from hotter chicks.
B: They want to gain power
C: They want you to chase abit as they are aware their SMV is lower than yours.

So, it is pretty easy to be able to tell whether your in the above situations or their distance is due to low interest.

When she throws you a curve ball, Que: Amused Mastery, Assume the Sale, and then Drop off the face of the earth. She will reach out with something dumb or irrelevant to tell you. (BIG GIVEAWAY) And then when she does, aloof/jerk game, or don't respond at all. Fall off the face of the earth again. From there, reach out or next time she reaches out, run with the same frame and then ask for a meetup. You will have some good tension built and she won't be able to bluff anymore. You will have passed all 3 of the above scenarios because you were a good sport and played her game a bit without getting needy, shook, or giving up.

Unfortunately, in your situation, it sounds like she's not interested as she didn't counter offer. Didn't even give you a specific excuse as to why she can't meet, and hasn't thrown you any other bones.

Well, in my case, she's constantly telling me how interested she is in me and that she wants to get to know me, blablabla, but when I ask her out, she tells me how busy she is, problems in her private life, blablabla.

We're both attending university and she said that she's gonna be free after exam period. I've already gone on aloof mode but she is the one initiating convos and touching me. I guess, it's Option B: She wants to gain power.

 

[WanderingMan]

I know a couple girls who have done this in the past to me - they will put up a b!tch shield and play hard to get because

A: They want to make sure that you're NOT going to get needy and lame if they fvck you around a bit (Sh!t test) Usually from hotter chicks.
B: They want to gain power
C: They want you to chase abit as they are aware their SMV is lower than yours.

So, it is pretty easy to be able to tell whether your in the above situations or their distance is due to low interest.

When she throws you a curve ball, Que: Amused Mastery, Assume the Sale, and then Drop off the face of the earth. She will reach out with something dumb or irrelevant to tell you. (BIG GIVEAWAY) And then when she does, aloof/jerk game, or don't respond at all. Fall off the face of the earth again. From there, reach out or next time she reaches out, run with the same frame and then ask for a meetup. You will have some good tension built and she won't be able to bluff anymore. You will have passed all 3 of the above scenarios because you were a good sport and played her game a bit without getting needy, shook, or giving up.

Unfortunately, in your situation, it sounds like she's not interested as she didn't counter offer. Didn't even give you a specific excuse as to why she can't meet, and hasn't thrown you any other bones.

Gold.

 

[WanderingMan]

I'll go you one better and advise you to not even waste your time trying. Let her de-code you.

I would 100% agree here, and I believe this is where a man's frame should be.

Tell her not to text or call until she is 100% available to meet you.

Does this work? I've never said this. I understand you'd basically be trying to cut through all the b.s. but, by saying this, wouldn't you be giving her all the power....letting her decide when you two are going to me, if you two are going to meet.... and only when/if she is ever available?

 

[Trump]

Well, in my case, she's constantly telling me how interested she is in me and that she wants to get to know me, blablabla, but when I ask her out, she tells me how busy she is, problems in her private life, blablabla.

You could say "Can you not be interested in me and we have sex?"

Just go after another girl bro. All this time you are trying to figure out if she is playing hard to get, you could have sleeping with other girls. Plus, you don't want to be her therapist, you want to be the guy she gets excited about and wants to have sex with. :rock:

 

[guru1000]

Espi is correct. Give her the invite to get in touch with you and disappear forever. Go with:

"Hey, you seem like an awesome girl. I look forward to see you again. Text me when you are sure of your schedule and we will meet up for a drink."

The above does the following:

"You seem like an awesome girl"--The word "awesome" shows that you are not butt-hurt about her decline nor "gaming." It's not obsequious. You are being genuine and straight-forward, which is rare.

"I look forward to seeing you again"--You are not afraid of overtly showing your interest, because quite frankly you do not care whether your overt interest increases or decreases her IL.

"Text me when you are sure of your schedule"--You are walking away from this "arrangement." If she wants to make it work now, the onus is on her.