Disgusted at the idea of "sharing" a girl

[Serialized3]

I think I can't just get into having casual sex. I know some of you guys are into this but these things have never really been my deal. Unless it's a really hot chick and I'd kick myself if I missed the opportunity, average/cute chicks really don't interest me too much anymore.

Back when I was first getting my feet wet in the PUA lifestyle all I cared about was getting some decent pussy, I didn't really care about any circumstances or contingencies. However, once I developed my game and got some notches behind me, I began to pass up sexual opportunities because I felt that I was just basically "the next dick in line" for random easy girls, which is a huge turn-off for me.

Now, the older I've gotten and the more girls I've met, the higher my standards have become. I'd rather be shot down by a 8.5 than have a ONS with a sloppy 6. I'm a decent looking guy with a lot of game and I can pull a few girls a month if I'm relatively social. However, I've had little success lately because I've been holding myself back and giving up on girls pretty quickly.

My biggest problem is that I just CAN NOT get over the feeling that I'm "sharing" a girl that I start seeing if I know she's seeing other people. And even if she doesn't mention it, with single sexy "empowered womyn" these days I just kind of assume she's at least dating around.

I know logically I can't hold anything against these girls for dating other people besides me. But on the other hand, casual hookups are completely different games from a female standpoint. To me, it's an indicator that the woman is of weak moral character and has no standards if she just
fucks anybody that comes along that gets her wet. It's like someone going to a buffet and then stealing stuff in ziplocs they brought.

Once I think about this, I begin to see the girl as a low-quality woman and it makes me not even want to have anything to do with her. When I go in to kiss, I don't know if she's just sucked a dick an hour before we started hanging out, so I don't even bother because that's disgusting nasty. And especially if a girl mentions she's seeing another guy (or girl, yeech), then I really just opt-out.

Any advice for getting over my hang up? Should I just suck it up and accept it, or raise my standards, or what?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

If your game is tight and you are the man that women want when they meet you, she will take her pu$sy off the market, and it will happen as soon as she realizes you are the one.

I suggest you get to work on expediting that process, the one where it is her idea to take the pu$s off the market. At this point, you might be very good at pulling consistely, but you might not have the ability to have most women give up seeing others, asap, and have their pu$s reserved for only you.

That might be the next level to start working towards.

 

[Elky]

There is never a problem with having high standards, but there is a problem with lowering your standards.

 

[Falcon25]

Stop worrying about something that is not yours. When she becomes your girlfriend, then you stop sharing her with the world. But even then, in this day and age, you don't mean shivt to her.

 

[harkkam08]

There is never a problem with having high standards, but there is a problem with lowering your standards.

In theory that may sound wonderful, however if everyone has their mind made up on dating a HB10 then we would all be single.

The fact is that everybody settles at some point and most likely the majority of people dont end up dating or marrying a HB10.

There can be a problem with having high standards. If you're just starting out in the game, and a girl who is not attractive approaches you for sexual encounters, you should take it to build experience.

Its like saying "I dont want to work up the corporate ladder, I want my 100k now!"

To the OP expecting a girl to have morals does NOT = high standards it is rather a requirement for a woman you are thinking about being in a LTR with.

To me personally I dont mind a woman who has been had several boyfriends however I will not accept a woman who has sex outside of a relationship and neither will I and thats what makes it fair. A woman that has ONS, or gives herself up easily is *****ish and not respectable.

The woman you are seeing who is dating around, has all the power because you are waiting around for her to decide if you are better than all the other men or not. Personally what I would do is date her for a while accepting that she is dating somebody else and then I would make sort of a semi-demand to her that she can continue seeing me or the other guy.

I hate when women have the power to choose. Thats me though, so I always make the move of asking for exclusivity.

If you guys have dated for a month and she still hasnt hinted at anything I would be annoyed by it.

However since she has not asked you so far in her mind like the other guys have said she hasnt taken her pu$$y of the market because in her mind she is trying to hold out for something better.

Thats where the problem of having high expectations all the time comes into play. You start creating a delusional and extremely hard to satisfy society that is always looking for more.

You are much better at the game than I am, but she could be waiting out for something better.

Thats why I usually like dating girls who are more about dating one person at a time. Which is why I always ask and I watch for their reaction to my question. I say something like "Tell me about the other sexy studs you're dating" with a sarcastic smile. Most probably she will either laugh or say something like "Haha, dont worry about it silly" or "Wouldnt you like to know" or some other type of indirect answer and it doesnt matter really.

Here is the important part, I setup a barrier to entry and let her know what my values are in regrades to how I feel. I will switch the tone to serious and say "You know personally though, I like dating one person at a time its more respectful and gives me a chance to get to know them better, its just not attractive any other way" and then just look at her with strong eyes and nod your head like you didnt give a Fu*k what she thinks.

Dont ask a follow up question and change the subject to like "hey what movie do you want to see tonight" and thats the end of that.

However she will remember what you said and it will warn her that you dont play that sh*T. Either she soon decides to be exclusive or you yourself can ask her when you think her IL is high enough.

Thats my take. I just dont want the woman having the power to decide when to start a relationship.

 

[Falcon25]

The above guy is correct. I lost a lot of wonderful and great girls in my late twenties because I said "I have higher standards". Don't confuse standards with reality. Sometimes, a woman who is just pretty and not an HB10, will give you more happiness than one that is a supermodel. If a woman is falling for you, you will know it. But give everyone of them a fair shot untill you find out more about them. Don't judge. You will be surprised at what you will find.

 

[Elky]

In theory that may sound wonderful, however if everyone has their mind made up on dating a HB10 then we would all be single.

The fact is that everybody settles at some point and most likely the majority of people dont end up dating or marrying a HB10.

There can be a problem with having high standards. If you're just starting out in the game, and a girl who is not attractive approaches you for sexual encounters, you should take it to build experience.

Its like saying "I dont want to work up the corporate ladder, I want my 100k now!"

To the OP expecting a girl to have morals does NOT = high standards it is rather a requirement for a woman you are thinking about being in a LTR with.

To me personally I dont mind a woman who has been had several boyfriends however I will not accept a woman who has sex outside of a relationship and neither will I and thats what makes it fair. A woman that has ONS, or gives herself up easily is *****ish and not respectable.

The woman you are seeing who is dating around, has all the power because you are waiting around for her to decide if you are better than all the other men or not. Personally what I would do is date her for a while accepting that she is dating somebody else and then I would make sort of a semi-demand to her that she can continue seeing me or the other guy.

I hate when women have the power to choose. Thats me though, so I always make the move of asking for exclusivity.

If you guys have dated for a month and she still hasnt hinted at anything I would be annoyed by it.

However since she has not asked you so far in her mind like the other guys have said she hasnt taken her pu$$y of the market because in her mind she is trying to hold out for something better.

Thats where the problem of having high expectations all the time comes into play. You start creating a delusional and extremely hard to satisfy society that is always looking for more.

You are much better at the game than I am, but she could be waiting out for something better.

Thats why I usually like dating girls who are more about dating one person at a time. Which is why I always ask and I watch for their reaction to my question. I say something like "Tell me about the other sexy studs you're dating" with a sarcastic smile. Most probably she will either laugh or say something like "Haha, dont worry about it silly" or "Wouldnt you like to know" or some other type of indirect answer and it doesnt matter really.

Here is the important part, I setup a barrier to entry and let her know what my values are in regrades to how I feel. I will switch the tone to serious and say "You know personally though, I like dating one person at a time its more respectful and gives me a chance to get to know them better, its just not attractive any other way" and then just look at her with strong eyes and nod your head like you didnt give a Fu*k what she thinks.

Dont ask a follow up question and change the subject to like "hey what movie do you want to see tonight" and thats the end of that.

However she will remember what you said and it will warn her that you dont play that sh*T. Either she soon decides to be exclusive or you yourself can ask her when you think her IL is high enough.

Thats my take. I just dont want the woman having the power to decide when to start a relationship.

The only people who succeed in getting the HB10, and succeed in making their dreams a reality, are very few. This is fact.

The question is... who wants it most?

It is simply being able to make that "want", into a "need".

 

[maqnetik]

youre single or youre not. theres no such thing as a girl-friend or a boy-friend. as for raising your value with women theres an old saying: "purse first a** last"

 

[Serialized3]

If your game is tight and you are the man that women want when they meet you, she will take her pu$sy off the market, and it will happen as soon as she realizes you are the one.

I suggest you get to work on expediting that process, the one where it is her idea to take the pu$s off the market. At this point, you might be very good at pulling consistely, but you might not have the ability to have most women give up seeing others, asap, and have their pu$s reserved for only you.

That might be the next level to start working towards.

My game could always be tighter. I should probably start upping my game by hitting on girls who are not obviously showing interest (or opening me) as much as I do.

I think part of my problem is that I tend to attract low quality women. Yes, some of them are kind of hot, but that doesn't really matter when they're loser chicks who are bisexual sluts with daddy issues.

Could probably work on improving my performance in bed to win girls over, but my negative mindset about "next dick in line" makes me not even want to try to please a girl that's easy.

Stop worrying about something that is not yours. When she becomes your girlfriend, then you stop sharing her with the world. But even then, in this day and age, you don't mean shivt to her.

Hah, this almost reminds me of a PuertoRican_Lover post. "A GIRLFRIEND IS JUST A FULL-TIME HOR!!! YOU CAN NEVER OWN A HOR!! HORS BELONG TO EVERYONE AND NO ONE!!!!!

Kind of a depressing way of looking at the world. Depressive realism.

 

[Serialized3]

In theory that may sound wonderful, however if everyone has their mind made up on dating a HB10 then we would all be single.

The fact is that everybody settles at some point and most likely the majority of people dont end up dating or marrying a HB10.

As far as looks go, sure they're nice, but they aren't the end-all-be-all of what I'm looking for in a girl. I'd be happier with a 7 that's a rad chick to be with than be stuck with a 9 who's a real bitch.

I'm just really looking for a girl I enjoy spending time with, who contributes to my life and doesn't drain me, is relatively sane, and truly cares for me. Yeah, I know I'm asking a lot. Really.

There can be a problem with having high standards. If you're just starting out in the game, and a girl who is not attractive approaches you for sexual encounters, you should take it to build experience.

Its like saying "I dont want to work up the corporate ladder, I want my 100k now!"

Ah, shit, I've been in the game for almost 9 years and had pretty solid game for about 5. I've been with enough girls to get experience. I believe you've really made it as a PUA/DJ when you start passing on sex with girls that most guys would gladly hit. Although my game isn't up to that point where it used to be, probably from being jaded by seeing most women for what they really are (low-quality)

To the OP expecting a girl to have morals does NOT = high standards it is rather a requirement for a woman you are thinking about being in a LTR with.

To me personally I dont mind a woman who has been had several boyfriends however I will not accept a woman who has sex outside of a relationship and neither will I and thats what makes it fair. A woman that has ONS, or gives herself up easily is *****ish and not respectable.

You're definitely right that girls with a lot of ONS or FBs/FWBs aren't respectable. But, having sex outside a relationship is fairly common now, and I accept it, but I don't like it when it swings the other way (even though I have no logical argument against it. Maybe fucking around with a few guys outside a relationship I could overlook for something longer than short-term thing but a serial fucker is something that I would just like to avoid. The caveat to that is that women are pretty good at hiding how many cocks they've ridden.

The woman you are seeing who is dating around, has all the power because you are waiting around for her to decide if you are better than all the other men or not. Personally what I would do is date her for a while accepting that she is dating somebody else and then I would make sort of a semi-demand to her that she can continue seeing me or the other guy.

I hate when women have the power to choose. Thats me though, so I always make the move of asking for exclusivity.

Women always have the power of sexual choice.

If you guys have dated for a month and she still hasnt hinted at anything I would be annoyed by it.

However since she has not asked you so far in her mind like the other guys have said she hasnt taken her pu$$y of the market because in her mind she is trying to hold out for something better.

Thats where the problem of having high expectations all the time comes into play. You start creating a delusional and extremely hard to satisfy society that is always looking for more.

You are much better at the game than I am, but she could be waiting out for something better.

Funny that you had the intuition about my situation involving one particular girl, although she's merely the latest in the line of screwed up girls I've met. Actually my nickname for her was "Square One" because she was like my safety school - I figured I could get whatever I wanted from her with minimal effort because she seemed really into me. But now that we've been hanging out more she's starting to do those subtle little power games that women love do so (subconsciously I believe).

I don't think that she's "waiting for something better" I just think tired of relationships and just wants to be single and make sexy time with other guys/girls. She has pretty low self-esteem.

The funny thing is that I don't even really like her. Sometimes I game girls for practice and just to see how far I can get. Although she's quite feminine, she's not that hot, not that intelligent/well-read, bisexual, LSE, no dad, etc.

This is one of those situations that reminds me why I don't try too hard with girls.

Thats why I usually like dating girls who are more about dating one person at a time. Which is why I always ask and I watch for their reaction to my question. I say something like "Tell me about the other sexy studs you're dating" with a sarcastic smile. Most probably she will either laugh or say something like "Haha, dont worry about it silly" or "Wouldnt you like to know" or some other type of indirect answer and it doesnt matter really.

Here is the important part, I setup a barrier to entry and let her know what my values are in regrades to how I feel. I will switch the tone to serious and say "You know personally though, I like dating one person at a time its more respectful and gives me a chance to get to know them better, its just not attractive any other way" and then just look at her with strong eyes and nod your head like you didnt give a Fu*k what she thinks.

Dont ask a follow up question and change the subject to like "hey what movie do you want to see tonight" and thats the end of that.

However she will remember what you said and it will warn her that you dont play that sh*T. Either she soon decides to be exclusive or you yourself can ask her when you think her IL is high enough.

That's quite interesting. How much success have you had with that?

Thats my take. I just dont want the woman having the power to decide when to start a relationship.

Replies in green

 

[maqnetik]

Could probably work on improving my performance in bed to win girls over, but my negative mindset about "next dick in line" makes me not even want to try to please a girl that's easy.

not to take your post out of context but this is the core of your problem: trickin

when you set the bar too high for yourself in an area where shes bound to get bored eventually anyway you set yourself up for failure from the very beginning.

Thats where the problem of having high expectations all the time comes into play. You start creating a delusional and extremely hard to satisfy society that is always looking for more.

theres a little bit of real game in everybody

 

[Serialized3]

Alright guys, I've realized what the root of my problem with this whole thing is.

I always just assume that a girl is seeing someone else if she's single and attractive. In the abstract, it doesn't really bother me. It's almost like "don't ask don't tell", in that I don't want to know about it, I never ask about it, and I don't make references to me seeing other women because I find that tasteless.

However, what bothers me is when a girl explicitly states that she's seeing other people. Less bothersome is when I find it out through a shared social circle or facebook or something, but I still really don't like it.

What makes women do rude bullshit like telling us they're seeing other people? Do they think we're just gonna be open-minded and cool with it? Are they just trying to make us jealous? Just another shit-test? Do they just not just give a damn about how we feel about it?

Reminds me of this Roissy post (back in his glory days before he turned into an explicitly racist doomsdayer:

She dates around. Dating around — specifically, seeing more than one person concurrently — is a prerogative of men only, for reasons having to do with the greater leverage men need to arm themselves with to compete in a dating market that is fundamentally tilted in favor of women. Any girl who makes a habit of dating more than one guy at a time, especially if the parallel dating lasts longer than one month, in order to milk her options is a bad seed. In all my years of banging, one soulsaving thing I’ve learned is to walk away from any girl who I’ve discovered is also dating other men. Even if I beat the competition and win her over, it never ends well.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/08/26/quality-girl/

 

[Serialized3]

not to take your post out of context but this is the core of your problem: trickin

when you set the bar too high for yourself in an area where shes bound to get bored eventually anyway you set yourself up for failure from the very beginning.

What do you mean? There's no point in trying to gratify a girl because she's just gonna leave you anyway? What's a better attitude to have?

 

[maqnetik]

What do you mean? There's no point in trying to gratify a girl because she's just gonna leave you anyway? What's a better attitude to have?

anybody can f***.... anybody. and theres always something more extreme than what youre doing, always something nastier or more shocking. im not saying dont know how im just saying save it for last... tease her into being the pursuer and spoiling YOU rather than going out of your way to impress her on ANY LEVEL. when someone gets everything handed to them on a silver platter they become desensitized and bored. you have to make things exciting by being different and NOT doing what every other guy does or tries to do. make her WONDER and shes yours.