Discovered Plate has a sugar daddy - Strategies please

[BackInTheGame78]

I guess at 7 months in i wouldn't really have expected to find out theres a hidden sugar daddy thats been around for 3 years

But then it is 2023 and most people are morally corrupted , i was perhaps hoping for too much lol

Did you have any discussions with her about being exclusive or an actual couple?

Assumptions usually don't work out well for either side. Communication works out much better.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Did you have any discussions with her about being exclusive or an actual couple?

Assumptions usually don't work out well for either side. Communication works out much better.

Of course lol like i said what actually is the point in dating for that long if you aren't aiming to go exclusive

Usually i tend to drop plates after around 1 month if they aren't up to scratch

This one flew under the radar it took me a long time to screen her because i knew absolutely nothing about her or her background etc , and she is smoking so the sex was good

I knew something was going on but i thought an ex was probably still in the picture somewhere not a sugar daddy this did shock me a bit just didn't expect it

I am also pretty surprised by the reaction from forum members on this topic , most seem pretty chilled with it

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Of course lol like i said what actually is the point in dating for that long if you aren't aiming to go exclusive

Usually i tend to drop plates after around 1 month if they aren't up to scratch

This one flew under the radar it took me a long time to screen her because i knew absolutely nothing about her or her background etc , and she is smoking so the sex was good

I knew something was going on but i thought an ex was probably still in the picture somewhere not a sugar daddy this did shock me a bit just didn't expect it

I am also pretty surprised by the reaction from forum members on this topic , most seem pretty chilled with it

Right, because you are not being clear with your terminology and what is going on so we are giving advice and talking about one thing but you actually are not in the situation you initially described once we got clarification and that we are giving advice for.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP try grossing her out

10 Foods That Cause Gas

If you’re experiencing a lot of gas and bloating, making changes to your diet can help. Here are the types of foods that cause the most gas.

www.healthline.com

Maybe she'll leave on her own accord

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

This thread is cringe, if you think your plates aren't banging other dudes you are out to lunch

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Bingo,
This seems like the ideal ongoing situation for a plate,the Sugar Daddy provides the Mazooma you provide the excitement in her life....downside is you have to demote her from her leading Lady status she can never be more than a Love interest...Many years ago I came to the appreciation that for many Women(if not most),Svex is a transactional currency...One Woman in my life has an elderly live in Husband who provides the dosh,a handsome young lover and me,I provide Dancing,make her whirl round the floor,showing off her bling and get payed or layed in kind....One might well ask,who here is the plate?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear LA Raider,
"...but prostitution can never be good "...Come,come dear Boy,these Women act as a safety valve in Society without them honest young Women would be frightened to walk the streets.

 

[member160292]

I swear @Scaramouche is Atom Smasher's drunken Enrique Suave alter ego...

 

[Bingo-Player]

This thread is cringe, if you think your plates aren't banging other dudes you are out to lunch

Its attitudes like this which make me think cuckolding will be mainstream within 10 years

Infact i've seen a worrying rise in men into this kind of weird sh!t already

 

[Bingo-Player]

I am genuinely shocked virtually nobody see's this as a problem

i mean in any relationship there has to be a certain degree of trust even with plates after a couple of months you really need them to have your best interests at heart otherwise you are fvcked

If this chick had openly said at the start " hey i have a sugar daddy" i would have dropped her after a few weeks because it doesn't fit with my moral standings

Others may have been ok with it , but honesty and transparency is the key

even when called out on things during our time together she just whitewashed it

Why would you want liars and cheats surrounding you ?

Everything in society has become transactional and a competition

Its honestly pathetic how most people live their lives

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Discovered a pretty serious issue with my current main plate we are around 7 months in

Today a housemate of hers randomly messaged me on instagram and told me what had been going on , this sugardaddy has apparently been on the scene for years !!

He's bought her a car , paid for driving lessons , holidays , designer clothing all sorts

This guy is in his 50's she is 24

We aren't sure if there has been a sexual relationship or its just financial but i believe a sexual relationship is highly likely

i have had serious reservations about this girl for the last couple of months and its been a very much an on / off relationship I sensed something was wrong with this chick pretty early on and have kept her at arms length still only see her 1 or 2 times a week.

She is extremely devious and calculating has "love bombed" me on numerous occasions and has thrown me off the scent a couple of times but truth be told it was so casual between us i didn't really care that much

Now i just want rid of her full stop.

Although i am appalled by this and by default to be involved in it , i can't say i am exactly surprised and therefore am quite despondent towards the whole thing

My biggest question now is how do i get rid of her without causing a massive fallout ?

She is not going to take it well i have found out and will say absolutely anything to try and get out of it , i don't think she is 100% mentally stable either so i do need to be diplomatic about this

Another issue is she has 4 of my close friends on instagram

I dont like a lot of attention and quite frankly this is pretty embarrassing so i would rather just remove her from my life and theirs and move on as quickly as possible

Feel like this showdown needs to be done in person somewhere private preferably outdoors due to various circumstances ( mainly weather , work and shared accomodation i probably won't be able to have this out with her for a couple of weeks )

Anyone got any guidance on handling a situation like this

I have thought that if she refuses to leave mine and my freinds lives

i will tell her parents what she has been doing as nuclear threat

( her parents are devout christians)

You said it yourself, mate (and the answer to your own question):
You're not exclusive with her. Just ignore future contact attempts from her and you are done.
Its that easy.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I am genuinely shocked virtually nobody see's this as a problem

It IS a problem..... you got plated from the start while you kept her around and had intentions of giving her GF-status a few months down the road.

And yet, there is nothing new in women having plates.
Women are monkey-branchers for the most part, so where does your surprise come from?
She didnt let go of the SD because you didnt commit yet.

Maybe she even knew you had other plates in the game and didnt give the fck to drop hers.

The problem could have been you, not setting the right frame to this "relationship".

 

[Stanley]

i mean in any relationship there has to be a certain degree of trust even with plates after a couple of months you really need them to have your best interests at heart otherwise you are fvcked

Man I get you and all, but you see the hypocrisy here right? As others have said you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Egalitarianism can **** it, but both genders are freely allowed to express themselves if they aren't exclusive. Don't be upset by it, you're allowed to have your standards, but understand the innate hypocrisy at play here if she is truly a plate.

If this chick had openly said at the start " hey i have a sugar daddy" i would have dropped her after a few weeks because it doesn't fit with my moral standings Others may have been ok with it , but honesty and transparency is the key

"Hey insert ('plate' name here, ) I'm seeing other girls on the side"! I Would've dropped him after a few weeks because it doesn't fit with my 'moral standings'. lol

Why would you want liars and cheats surrounding you ?

Idk... does the plate know she's a plate... Or is it implied you are BOTH seeing other people and are NOT exclusive.

Everything in society has become transactional and a competition

As you use this woman as a transactional token and are upset there is competition from a sugar daddy...

The system is busted, feel free to take advantage of that, but understand others will do the same. This woman was using you for something as well, sex, emotional intimacy or whatever... Life is a constant exchange of transactions so make the most of it. This transaction for personal reasons has gone poorly for you based on your own personal criteria. Ok cool, make peace with that then can this chick.

Let her know it's done in a cordial way, if you're afraid of her taking the rejection poorly
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-You don't need to tell her why its over.

-You don't confront her on the sugar daddy. (leave her wondering, give her no justification on your behalf)

-You defuse and try to disarm her and say you're done. Then walk away or 'ghost'. Do not elevate the negative energy if she's actually whacko

-Give her no ammunition to use against you post dropping

-Pay no mind to her antics if they occur afterwards

-If she comes up in conversation with your four friends treat it like it was no big deal, no bad blood, even if there is...

-If she speaks ill of you turn the other cheek and let your positive actions speak for themselves. Don't drop down to slinging mud

-Give her no power over your life. The thought of this girl ruining your reputation is stupid. Carry yourself with class in this whole thing and you're fine.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If she wants to throw a **** fit let her.

That is when you should be despondent! Be disappointed in her actions as you maturely end the relationship. Actually don't care. You mention love bombing among others and it's only been 7 months, she's been manipulative of you too. I'm getting Bpd vibes from this one given your apprehension to just drop her. I get it, if there's one thing I have in spades it's ending things with whackos.

On one occasion in college a girl sent Title XI on me (Us sex discrimination) after I politely declined her offer to a poly relationship. I mention this story only because I too suspected some whacko hijinks from her and was ready for it. I had a paper trail/screenshots of her misconduct. Her accusations quickly fell on deaf ears when I showed my 'evidence'. What I'm saying is if you really expect her to have some dirt or reason to mess up your reputation have a contingency in place for the worst case scenario. In this instance I did and it saved my a** from getting kicked out of school based on a false accusation. Give her no ammunition to use against you, defuse the bomb and hostility as best you can while covertly building up your own munitions in the case that you need them. You probably won't...but ya never know if she really is as mentally unstable as you think she is.

'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'

 

[Bingo-Player]

Man I get you and all, but you see the hypocrisy here right? As others have said you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Egalitarianism can **** it, but both genders are freely allowed to express themselves if they aren't exclusive. Don't be upset by it, you're allowed to have your standards, but understand the innate hypocrisy at play here if she is truly a plate.



"Hey insert ('plate' name here, ) I'm seeing other girls on the side"! I Would've dropped him after a few weeks because it doesn't fit with my 'moral standings'. lol



Idk... does the plate know she's a plate... Or is it implied you are BOTH seeing other people and are NOT exclusive.



As you use this woman as a transactional token and are upset there is competition from a sugar daddy...

The system is busted, feel free to take advantage of that, but understand others will do the same. This woman was using you for something as well, sex, emotional intimacy or whatever... Life is a constant exchange of transactions so make the most of it. This transaction for personal reasons has gone poorly for you based on your own personal criteria. Ok cool, make peace with that then can this chick.

Let her know it's done in a cordial way, if you're afraid of her taking the rejection poorly
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

-You don't need to tell her why its over.

-You don't confront her on the sugar daddy. (leave her wondering, give her no justification on your behalf)

-You defuse and try to disarm her and say you're done. Then walk away or 'ghost'. Do not elevate the negative energy if she's actually whacko

-Give her no ammunition to use against you post dropping

-Pay no mind to her antics if they occur afterwards

-If she comes up in conversation with your four friends treat it like it was no big deal, no bad blood, even if there is...

-If she speaks ill of you turn the other cheek and let your positive actions speak for themselves. Don't drop down to slinging mud

-Give her no power over your life. The thought of this girl ruining your reputation is stupid. Carry yourself with class in this whole thing and you're fine.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If she wants to throw a **** fit let her.

That is when you should be despondent! Be disappointed in her actions as you maturely end the relationship. Actually don't care. You mention love bombing among others and it's only been 7 months, she's been manipulative of you too. I'm getting Bpd vibes from this one given your apprehension to just drop her. I get it, if there's one thing I have in spades it's ending things with whackos.

On one occasion in college a girl sent Title XI on me (Us sex discrimination) after I politely declined her offer to a poly relationship. I mention this story only because I too suspected some whacko hijinks from her and was ready for it. I had a paper trail/screenshots of her misconduct. Her accusations quickly fell on deaf ears when I showed my 'evidence'. What I'm saying is if you really expect her to have some dirt or reason to mess up your reputation have a contingency in place for the worst case scenario. In this instance I did and it saved my a** from getting kicked out of school based on a false accusation. Give her no ammunition to use against you, defuse the bomb and hostility as best you can while covertly building up your own munitions in the case that you need them. You probably won't...but ya never know if she really is as mentally unstable as you think she is.

'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'

Thanks for the input mate , you've put some real effort into that appreciated

 

[Bingo-Player]

I bet you’ll be a sugar daddy one day. It’s like having your cake and eating it too. The. Best.

I won't because i see no value in it , since when did paying people to be with you become a socially accepted standard practice

its just wierd

You are clearly involved in that lifestyle so you hold bias towards it that is fine

You do you

 

[Bingo-Player]

To update i had cooled things off this week so haven't actually seen her in person

fortunately i had a tip she was having dinner with the sugar daddy last night

I messaged and calmly asked her to remove my friends from instagram and arrange to exchange a few items of each others

we have had some melodrama but she's in a corner she cannot get out of now

She's pretty much agreed to end it on my terms which is at least something

Will phase her out over the next 2-3 weeks

As i have said previously i need to defuse carefully as i do believe she could become unstable.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I Became an Undercover Sugar Daddy And Couldn't Believe What I Found

I decided to go out with a sugar baby for the sake of research (no really). And as I crawled into this new world. I couldn't believe what I found.

www.knowledgeformen.com

For anyone interested in where this rabbit hole goes .

 

[Bokanovsky]

Discovered a pretty serious issue with my current main plate we are around 7 months in

Today a housemate of hers randomly messaged me on instagram and told me what had been going on , this sugardaddy has apparently been on the scene for years !!

He's bought her a car , paid for driving lessons , holidays , designer clothing all sorts

This guy is in his 50's she is 24

We aren't sure if there has been a sexual relationship or its just financial but i believe a sexual relationship is highly likely

i have had serious reservations about this girl for the last couple of months and its been a very much an on / off relationship I sensed something was wrong with this chick pretty early on and have kept her at arms length still only see her 1 or 2 times a week.

She is extremely devious and calculating has "love bombed" me on numerous occasions and has thrown me off the scent a couple of times but truth be told it was so casual between us i didn't really care that much

Now i just want rid of her full stop.

Although i am appalled by this and by default to be involved in it , i can't say i am exactly surprised and therefore am quite despondent towards the whole thing

My biggest question now is how do i get rid of her without causing a massive fallout ?

She is not going to take it well i have found out and will say absolutely anything to try and get out of it , i don't think she is 100% mentally stable either so i do need to be diplomatic about this

Another issue is she has 4 of my close friends on instagram

I dont like a lot of attention and quite frankly this is pretty embarrassing so i would rather just remove her from my life and theirs and move on as quickly as possible

Feel like this showdown needs to be done in person somewhere private preferably outdoors due to various circumstances ( mainly weather , work and shared accomodation i probably won't be able to have this out with her for a couple of weeks )

Anyone got any guidance on handling a situation like this

I have thought that if she refuses to leave mine and my freinds lives

i will tell her parents what she has been doing as nuclear threat

( her parents are devout christians)

I usually approach these types of situations with a "what would a woman do if she waned to get rid of a man" mindset. Just start ghosting her and give her vague reasons for why you can't meet (I'm very busy, something has come up at work, etc.) Do not tell her the real reason why you are dumping her. She doesn't deserve any closure and you certainly don't stand to gain anything from telling her the truth 9especially if she's mentally unstable). With time, she will invent her own reason for why things didn't work out.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I am genuinely shocked virtually nobody see's this as a problem

i mean in any relationship there has to be a certain degree of trust even with plates after a couple of months you really need them to have your best interests at heart otherwise you are fvcked

If this chick had openly said at the start " hey i have a sugar daddy" i would have dropped her after a few weeks because it doesn't fit with my moral standings

Others may have been ok with it , but honesty and transparency is the key

even when called out on things during our time together she just whitewashed it

Why would you want liars and cheats surrounding you ?

Everything in society has become transactional and a competition

Its honestly pathetic how most people live their lives

I think part of the problem is your confusing use of the term "plate". Most people use that term as a synonym for fvck buddy. What you're describing sounds more like a boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship.

In any event, I share your distaste for "sugar babies". I wouldn't want to be involved with one either, even if it was strictly for casual sex. There's a bad vibe about those women and it tends to rub off on you.

 

[Stanley]

To update i had cooled things off this week so haven't actually seen her in person

fortunately i had a tip she was having dinner with the sugar daddy last night

I messaged and calmly asked her to remove my friends from instagram and arrange to exchange a few items of each others

we have had some melodrama but she's in a corner she cannot get out of now

She's pretty much agreed to end it on my terms which is at least something

Will phase her out over the next 2-3 weeks

As i have said previously i need to defuse carefully as i do believe she could become unstable.

Nice man, take it slow and easy. If she's a ticking timebomb try and leave her with love, even if its bull****.