Disassociate myself from longtime Friend

[Precursor]

Im going to disassociate myself from one of my friends whom i known since the 3rd grade (which is 8 years ago). We go to a different school now but we hang out over the summer.

1) He is extremely shy towards other people but confident towards me (cause he feels safe i presume)
2) He is ugly, but always seems to insult me (i don't mind, i know i look better)
3) I think his whole day revolves around him playing the Nintendo DS or watching anime on the PC
4) He's not goood at any sports
5) He is shy towards girls as well
6) When he loses at a videogame, he makes an excuse and flares out (unwilling to accept defeat, i think thats some form of insecurity)
7) When other people attempt something, he is the guy who stands there doing nothing and criticizes


what can i say... makes me wonder if i was ever like that.. of course he has good qualities but it doesn't even come close to outshining these..god i'm glad i don't go to shcool with him hahhaha

the reason i didn't dissassociate myself earlier is because of personal morality. That feeling you get of loyalty, where you should do the "right" thing and crap to be a good person. Yeah whatever that BS mythology induced by my parents is out the window. It always held me back from true DJism.

Do you guys have friends like this who kind of hold you back? Im open to responses, insights, and/or opinions

 

[theunflushables]

Yeah, I have a friend kind of like that. Not so much with the Anime or Nintendo DS, or the not good looking parts.s

Instead, he is very attractive (no, this is some latent gay tendency, rather listening to women say how attractive he is), he is talented in music and art, and women are flocking to be with him. His main drawback is, once has them in him, he becomes incredibly insecure, and it never goes any further.

I decided long ago not to disassociate him, because he's been a friend for a long time. Rather I've been trying to get him to come out of his shell and use his powers for evil. I think I have had some effect because he's actually slept with some women, so it makes me feel good.

I wouldn't completely disassociate your friend, but don't let him have a lot of your time either. I'd say just cut back on the time you spend with him, or keep in contact with him through IMs or something.

 

[GaryUranga]

try to help him out if he doesnt want to improve just spend less time with him

 

[Mr_rogers]

I recently did this with a friend of mine myself, so I know how you feel, man.

I was friends with this guy for a good few years (probably 6 or so) but he has so many AFC tendencies (not showering, doing nothing but playing video games, being socially awkward, saying the wrong thing at the worst possible moment in public every time I'm around him, etc.) that I had to stop talking to him. I just didn't return any of his calls, and I stopped responding to his emails. He hasn't tried to contact me for a couple of months now, and despite the fact that he must be having a rough time (I was one of his only friends) I feel better now, because you always have to look after #1 first.

Don't feel badly if you drop this guy out of your life. You'll feel better later.

Good luck.

 

[Quiksilver]

You guys are as'sholes. Honestly.

You're essentially putting chicks infront of your buddies. You want to disassociate yourself with a bro because he sucks with chicks?

I actually don't know what to say. That's terrible... How about this:

YOU'RE HIS FRIEND, HELP HIM

Seriously, that's worse than being his enemy. Let's use a little proverb here: You're "buddy" is crossing a street. You see a truck is about to pancake his ass onto the road. You, in what you're choosing to do, are pretty much standing there letting his ass get hit. That is NOT what bro's do.

How about pointing out his problems, and telling him where to improve. Can't you be honest with your friends?

Seriously, YOU are the dude with the issues.

 

[Quiksilver]

I recently did this with a friend of mine myself, so I know how you feel, man.

I was friends with this guy for a good few years (probably 6 or so) but he has so many AFC tendencies (not showering, doing nothing but playing video games, being socially awkward, saying the wrong thing at the worst possible moment in public every time I'm around him, etc.) that I had to stop talking to him. I just didn't return any of his calls, and I stopped responding to his emails. He hasn't tried to contact me for a couple of months now, and despite the fact that he must be having a rough time (I was one of his only friends) I feel better now, because you always have to look after #1 first.

Don't feel badly if you drop this guy out of your life. You'll feel better later.

Do you even know what it means to be someone's friend?

 

[TheHumanist]

the reason i didn't dissassociate myself earlier is because of personal morality. That feeling you get of loyalty, where you should do the "right" thing and crap to be a good person. Yeah whatever that BS mythology induced by my parents is out the window. It always held me back from true DJism.

Please don't throw away personal morality because your friend is not good with girls. Bro's over hoes. More importanyl, he's your friend, this means that you don't have to put all your energy and hurt yourself, but it doesn't mean you have to cut off all contact from him either. It is not BS mythology to be loyal and I believe, fully and honestly believe, morality have to be put in front of djism... no that's not right either... it is not DJism to throw out your morality either. A DJ have integrity, granted he been troublesome for you, but still your friend, it does not mean you have to completely throw him away for yourself either.

 

[i am me]

You guys are as'sholes. Honestly.

You're essentially putting chicks infront of your buddies. You want to disassociate yourself with a bro because he sucks with chicks?

I actually don't know what to say. That's terrible... How about this:

YOU'RE HIS FRIEND, HELP HIM

Seriously, that's worse than being his enemy. Let's use a little proverb here: You're "buddy" is crossing a street. You see a truck is about to pancake his ass onto the road. You, in what you're choosing to do, are pretty much standing there letting his ass get hit. That is NOT what bro's do.

How about pointing out his problems, and telling him where to improve. Can't you be honest with your friends?

Seriously, YOU are the dude with the issues.

yup

the way i see it, people can bring u down or u can bring them up. it all depends on wut kinda person u are...

 

[Kev07]

why don't you show him to the site

 

[Berlex]

I stopped talking to my dad because he's afc

 

[Precursor]

I know where you guys are coming from. I don't mind if there AFC or not. I consider myself AFC. The post is misleading and i apologize.

I shouldn't have put all those facts about him because i'm not really being clear. Those don't affect me being friends with him, but the main thing is his lack of respect and insults.

I"m singing a tune just for fun with my friends and he always has a putdown. He doesn't even participate, he just stands there and criticizes.

Like i go "...i'm handsome, rich, black, and i'm a flirt" ... lyrics from a song and he goes like "Your neither. Your poor, definately not black, and ugly" . He doesn't particpate in what we do and always makes insults.

One time I came over to his house and accidentally beat him at a videogame (supersmashbrothers? i'm not really good at it but someone showed me a few cool moves that i used to pull an underdog victory) and he kicked me out of his house. Seriously. I was humble about it and when he started demanding a rematch, i declined and he flared out and crap.

What i'm saying is that although i was his friend for many years, i don't have time to put up with alll that BS. We don't put up with crap from women. Why should I put up with all his crap. I did for too long.

Its just theres so much more to do in life than to put up with BS coming from one particular person, whether it be a woman or your close buddy.

 

[Kev07]

if he does that to you, then it's because you let him.. why do you let him? put him in his place

 

[Temptation]

anime... anime porn *shudders* tell me he doesn't watch anime porn

 

[Infraction]

I was in a good relashonship with a freind of mine.
He held me back, and we are cool these days, but not as we used to be.

 

[Lust]

You are only as good as the people around you.

I'm 15 but the guys in the community are like 20-30. They are all successful people that are great with women which is why I enjoy being in our local lair, even if some of them are twice my age.

Choosing your friends carefully is a wise choice, but you could always try and bring him up, as I am currently doing with one of my friends.

 

[Curious_Master]

hmm while I agree that you should never abandon a friend because he's bad with women this guy's motives are a little different then that. Once you start reading all the material on this site and applying it you become a different person. The new person you are will probably see some of your old friends in a dimmer, less-favorable light. It sounds like your friend has some major insecurities that he is more than likely not willing to address. This sucks for him but if you don't enjoy yourself when you hang out with him I wouldn't hang out with him anymore. If he hasn't expressed a desire to change in this direction (become more confident around people, aka DJ qualities I suppose) then I doubt he's suddenly going to find the will to put down his DS and make a postive change.

That's just my 2 cents... I know I've grown apart from some of my old friends but at the same time made a lot of new friends. It's life and to help them they must be willing to help themselves which few are.

 

[Spade_1]

I wouldn't stop talking to any of my friends for any girl. If throwing away long-term friends is what it takes to get girls **** it I wouldn't want to be a DJ, and if my friend isn't good with girls i don't care. Cuz if a girl likes me, and i like my friend, then she'll learn to like my friend.

 

[SomethingClever]

Seriously, don't abandon him and don't be a **** to him. Help him out. My ex-bestfriend thought he was better than me and started being a **** to me, just because he thought he was good with the ladies. Now i just wanna beat his ass. It's not that i suck at being DJ, it's just that i hate his guts. He threw away our friendship cause of his ego.

So don't do it, it'll come back at you. But if you have to, you could probably do it after attempting to help him out. Cause after that, you could say you tried.