If you’re the problem that’s one thing, can’t help you with that.
If you’re worried about her reacting badly your frame is off as well. You need to behave like she will love it, you have to know she will.
You can ratchet things up slowly as well. That’s what I do with new partners. We get the basics down first, she knows at this point I can reliably get her off on several ways, this builds trust for her. To her she knows you care because you found her “spots” as they like to call them and know how to make her orgasm even against her will.
I have always been very verbal with women, encouraging them at all times. While I’m ponding a chick and she’s looking at me and making approving noises I’ll lock eyes with her, get into a rhythm where she’s losing her mind and then tell her how much I love her little tight wet snatch (use something that you’re ok with). That often turns them on even more, you could then ask her how it feels, get her talking about sex.
I’m most cases she’ll love it, and it builds even better levels of intimacy, then you could ask her if she likes getting pounded once she replies affirmatively say “I’m going to pound you even harder” again most will allow you to even if you’ve not in the past. Then you’d best get her off as a result to set the precedent and if you’re observant you can often tell when she’s beginning to O, at that precise moment tell her to come for you in a commanding tone.
This is a Jedi mind trick, she was already going to orgasm if you kept you rhythm, depth and stroke consistent but now you’ve added a voice prompt. She will, if done properly, begin to associate rip roaring orgasms with you commanding her to have one. Now you can tell her to come for you and if you’ve set it up correctly she will like clockwork. You can also tell her that you’re going to force her to orgasm but be ready to back it up with your pecker.
This is often how you start getting into rougher sex with women.
Hope the suggestions make sense and work to get you to what you want vis’a vis debauched sex, move the piece across the board in steps.
You could also have a conversation with her that’s sexy and flirty where you tell her that you need to talk to her about sex and let it sit for a while, it will drive her anticipation. Then suggestively tell her that you’ve been holding back if you can tell the story correctly she’ll be intrigued.
YOU MUST HAVE THE CORRECT FRAME TO DO THIS, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN DO IT AND SHE WILL LOVE IT.
You cannot fake confidence.