How could it possibly bite you in the ass? Its a picture of your dyck. Do you think someone will be able to identify it?
Funny this thread is up. Im in the middle of a great text based seduction involving a picture of my dyck in a bowtie.
Saturday night (Xmas):
This girl briefly worked as a bartender at my local bar. Her first day immediately bust on her, and tell her she cant handle working at this rowdy bar, and joke about her dodging ashtrays. Then, I pulled my signature scam for newbies: I turn around, call the bar, and pretend Im the owner, and say "Hey Wendy, this is jerry. Is Horaholic hanging out today? Oh, he is? Well, I owe him and his roomate a couple shots. Hook them up with whatever they want." (This works EVERY time, btw!) She was pouring our shots, when the owners wife walks in, and the other bartender had to blurt out my whole scam. She brings our shots anyway, and says "I ****ing hate you guys" with a smile of course.
Anyway, she only worked a few shifts there. I got her number, shot her a text one night, and didnt hear back so I forgot about her. I heard she was a part time stripper to pay for her boobjob. I ran into her at a show, and asked her about her schedule at another bar she worked at. The next week, one of my buddies wanted to go to her other bar, when she was working. She seemed really excited to see me. My buddies all left, and I was gaming her. She gave me free drinks and asked me to stay till she closed and she would give me a ride home. I didnt go for too much when she dropped me off. I was drunk and it was 5 AM. A few days later I asked her about her work schedule so we could "smoke crack and rape chickens together some time." She replied "Wed and Thur you cute little thing."
So, last night I go to my local hangout. I noticed she had a xmas stocking hung up there with stuff in it, so I texted her to tell her that. The bartender there used to be a stripper and was telling us some funny ass hell stories, and she mentioned her stripper friends. I asked her if they were ****ed up in the head, and she said most of them were pretty normal, and she said Wendy was the coolest chick she'd ever met. (She doesnt know about us, so I was stoked on the info.) I subtley asked if she were normal, and not a *****, and she said, she was not, and she was super cool, and normal. (for whatever thats worth, but I like hearing it)
Anyway, Wendy texts me back, and it gets interesting: (this goes on all night long while Im at the bar talking to other girls, btw.)
Sorry this whole thing is copied kinda wierd and may be hard to read
her Well, thank you for letting me know. You should send me that bow tie pic you were telling me about for xmas=)"
(I told her about pictures of my dyck I used to take with bowties on it, and on plates with silverware, and other wierd shyt. I used to send them randomly to my ex)
me When I get home, I'll take one for you
her yay! You're amazing<3
me Thats premature. You haven't even seen it yet
her I was just practicing for later. I just really like stuff in bow ties
Stolen from Jeffy here:
me Ur like a baby polar bear sliding down a rainbow into a pot of kittens
her Adorable?
me I think I am
her I think so too
me Aww how sweet. Are you going to kick Santas ass?
her For not wearing a bow tie?
me Im gonna kick his ass cuz you weren't under my tree this morning with nothing but a bow on.
her haha. you should. I look ridiculously cute in a bow
me I'll bet you do. You didnt find me under your tree either. You gonna lay some shmack down?
her Fukk yea I am xoxo!
me xoxo to you too. You at work, or am I turning you on at your grammas house or something?
two hours go by
her Sorry, Im workin at the titty club tonight. just checked my phone. What are you doing?
me Im at so and so. call me when your off if u want, and if your not full of man-hate
her haha ok if its not too late I will
later on after I get home:
me I got an empty house and a book of dvd's and ur invited
her Still workin
What happens if get off at 5 or something?
me Call me if you want. If not, no problem.
I take a picture of my **** with a bow tie on it and send it to her, and passed the fukk out. I wake up to :
her Your bow tie is adorable=)
her And your c0ck is awesome too xoxo
In the afternoon I write:
me Thanks for the 'c0ck'liment. Its ur turn for picture time cuteypants! (I already have her boobs on my phone)
her or you can just take me out on thursday. Wouldnt you just rather see it in person?
me wow. this will be a long four days. Better not be teasin!. I still want naughty pics to tide me over though
her I'll see what I can do
I know this is long and a ****load of texts. but I think it worked great. She was working all night, and I was partying, and I got her hot and bothered as hell, and pretty much telling me we're gonna **** on thursday.
Today I woke up a picture of her pulling her shirt up, tease style, and a text that said "wish you were here." timestamped at midnight.
I think its safe to say its OOONNNN. Now who's gonna tell me I texted her too much?
