Dilemma: She wants relationship; I want FWB. help

lizardfloyd

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Ok, here it goes. I met this girl about less than a month ago over at my friends house. It was supposed to be a night of drinking and hanging out. I had been C&F the whole night with this one girl, calling her out on some things, making fun of the music she likes and then in front of everyone she jumped on top of me and started making out with me. I mean I was pretty blown away, being that I had never had any luck at all with a girl period. I was pretty drunk off my ass and some of my friends left to go and get something to eat. Me and her stayed on the couch and made out pretty much the whole time they were gone until they came back.

A week later. Go back over to drink again. Me, my buddy, tha GIRL, and another girl he knows. We drink for a while and then we watch a movie. She gets on top of me and lays down while we watch the movie. We make out and what not. I was about to try and go for 3rd base but got rejected cuz she was on her period. I told her I was going to bed cuz i had to get up early the next morning. She got up with me out of the seat and gave me this long kiss goodnight and said she was gonna stay up and watch the rest of the movie.

Antoher week later. Same stuff happens again. We're outside smoking and she drops her cigarette clinches me and starts making out with me. We come back in. I sit in the recliner and she pulls this huge blanket over both of us and we start makin out again. She even takes her shirt and bra off under the covers. But, can't really do much when the whole party is on the outside of the covers.

OK, now, being a week later my friend calls me up and says she called him and they were talkin and she asks "what's his deal?" refferring to me. He tells me that she really really likes me and wants to try and work on a relationship with me. She said that she felt like she is getting mixed signals from me, but she can't figure me out and it is driving her nuts! (Thanks DJ Forum)

She also told him she didn't want to be a drunken one-time hook-up and that she was lookin for something more with me. I'm honsetly not lookin for a relationship with all the stuff I got going on in my life. I mean, having a girl show that much interest in me in that short amount of time kinda wowed my mind.

So how do I turn her into a FWB??? without all the relationship stuff? Or at the least tell her I'm not lookin for a relationship at all?? I'm afraid she might go psycho or weird on me. I never lead her on, never had sex with her, nor have I really called her. I usually only see her at my friends house when we all get together to drink approx. 1-2 times a week. I mean we barely know each other.

Any help would be appreciated.
 

Don 'Ron

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It stands for "Friends With Benefits" (you guys really should put what these initials mean in parenthesis at least once in your stories for all the newbies here).

As for your situation, lizardfloyd, it's really hard to turn a chick who likes you into an FWB situation. No matter how hard you try to keep it strictly physical, she's going to be screwing you in the hopes that it makes you want to be with her long-term. It would be different if both of your were just single and looking to get each other off every once in a while, but if she's really feeling you, eventually she's going to ask if she's more to you than just a good lay. When you tell her she's not, trust me - the shat will hiteth the fan.

-Don 'Ron
 

GuitarPlayer

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Originally posted by lizardfloyd
Need a little more help yall!! I searched the (FWB) articles. But couldnt find enough information.
I'm still a bit of a newbie myself, but here goes:

Generally speaking, a girl that likes you enough to sleep with you will also like you enough to want an emotional relationship. Think about it; she had enough of the required emotional attachment to want to be with you. For a woman, sex is very rarely just for the pleasure, even though they enjoy it as much as we do if not more.

It isn't hard to GET a FWB, but keeping them with no strings attached is another matter.

Just my $0.02.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

johnmich

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Originally posted by Don 'Ron
It stands for "Friends With Benefits" (you guys really should put what these initials mean in parenthesis at least once in your stories for all the newbies here).

-Don 'Ron
Im not a newbie jus couldnt remember what it stood for.
 

LongDrinkofWater

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FWB had me for a second - try looking under "fück buddy".

Also, FB's usually wind up developing feelings anyway, so even if you did manage it to begin with, you'd probably wind up dealing with this kettle of fish all over again........
 

Scorched

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eeeh

I've been in a similar situation!
The girl ended up getting attached... :(
Even after I told her, "Sex creates attachment!"
It just caused too much drama :(

But the cards I played which worked... were...
"I don't want to settle down right now, I'm not saying I wanna **** aroud, I just like attention, this is the first time I've been single since i was 16!"

Hmmmm... If she'll be just FWB with you, how many other guys will she also do that with? :( If she says yes... then she's a hoe in my book... You want a challenge man... You want a girl you are into... Then the sex is like 10 times better... Sex with her wouldn't be that much better than jacking off. :(
 

Ice Cold

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For starters, it's her friend that told you that she wants a relationship.She coundn't just say that her friend is horny and wants to suck your ****. FWB is a relationship too

She's coming onto you strongly, but you're inexperienced and isn't ready for sex. :crackup:

She's perceiving you as someone who's good with ladies. But because you didn't bang her yet, she's confused.

Get her in the sack. The difference between a FWB and a relationship is going out once a week or so.
 

girlsarecrazy

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Don't be afraid of a relationship. If the girl is falling for you this hard. You can have basically total control of the relationship. Just don't call her, talk to her everyday, etc and it won't affect your life.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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