Difficulty Getting with a Social Group

[AtomicDog]

Okay,

I'm feeling a bit pissed off right now.

I never knew it was so difficult to build friendships.

Basically I'm a 20 year old guy, finished school, got myself a cool job (I work at MSN), play electric guitar, live with my housemate, work out at gym, ...

I want to get into the clubbing scene seeing as there are lots of cool clubs near where I work. Trouble is, I'm finding it difficult enough to find any mates to go with. And no way am I walking into a club ALL BY MYSELF -- I'm not going to even try to explain why.

So here's what I have in the way of friends: a bunch of contacts on MSN & yahoo. Mixed bag of people I met through college, work, forums, ... etc.

Basically it seems like everyone just ignores me lately. What I mean is, they dont mind chatting, but it's always me who has to start the conversation. And whenever I try to talk about getting together in person it SOMEHOW doesn't work out, like they're busy, or they don't like clubs, etc. etc.

So I'm just curious... what does a guy do who has achieved everything by himself actually find a group to hang with? I mean can people really be so CLOSED OFF and EXCLUSIVE that they can't just let one more person into their social circle??

And it's not like I'm acting desperate. I only chat with most of these people a max of once a week.

Surely there must be a better way.

Anyway.. I'm going do kick-boxing classes soon. Maybe I'll meet more of my type there. Then again maybe I'll just get "ignored" as what usually seems to happen.

 

[bachelor]

You said you go to the gym right? I have a friend who talks to the built guys in the gym and most of them go clubbing. If u roll with them, you got a good chance of pulling girls at the club. Its funny but women associate who you are around. I hang around nothing but other macks.

 

[AtomicDog]

You said you go to the gym right? I have a friend who talks to the built guys in the gym and most of them go clubbing. If u roll with them, you got a good chance of pulling girls at the club. Its funny but women associate who you are around. I hang around nothing but other macks.

So how does he get talking with the built guys?

BTW I'm fairly built, but definately got a fair way to go, and Im nothing near these guys. I dont know what people are like where you are but here it's kinda considered wierd if you try to make friends with stranger. Dunno why.. looks desperate I guess....

 

[bachelor]

Depends on how you approach it. I always tell other guys Im into macking girls and im looking to meet other people who do as well. Most of the time their pretty cool about it.

 

[Analytic]

I hope you're not being needy. Guys are scare of needy guys just the same as girls are scare of needy guys. There were a couple of "friend" I used to have that always want to hangout and always calling me. One act like he was obsessed with me, it came to the point where I was scared to talk to him because needy guys can be phycos. One time I told him that he was being needy, I thought he was gonna burn my house down or something. Not saying you are one but am just saying if they don't want to hang with you is probably you're giving off the wrong vibe. Don't ask them out to clubbing with just you because that is kinda creepy. They will most likely come to something like if you have a poker gathering and ask them if they want to play.

 

[bigstik]

It IS hard to make new friends, sometimes I feel like I have to have more game with the damned men than the women.

 

[AtomicDog]

It IS hard to make new friends, sometimes I feel like I have to have more game with the damned men than the women.

Yeah true.. at least with women its not so "creepy" to ask them out cos its obvious what your motive is.

But what I'm thinking is, I might get involved in kickboxing classes and a social life will develop from there. Not 100% sure doing the classes yet, but I'm getting a bit bored with gym and I want to try something more competitive and "challenging".

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Join a sports team. You'll have 20 guy friends instantly, and they'll be just as ready to pick-up chicks as you.

 

[Ricky]

Yeah the sports club is cool.

Does Sydney have a PUA lair. THat would be good as well.

Plus I always heard you Australians are really social. Just go to the pubs. They sound like a blast.

I can't wait to go to Australia some day. It sounds awesome.

 

[KnockoutJM]

When i started going to clubs, i worked at a few, and that gave me networking,a and familiarity with some of the common people who i would see there. The way i go now, is with 3 of my boys in 1 car, we go, and all have a few friends there, and we know the bartenders, and a lot of the employees there.
It feels good at a club, knowing a ton of people there, and looks good when you are in with the bartenders, and like you are important. Just go with a few friends, and you can meet new people there.. Make small talk with bartenders, and the people who will always be at the club, so for future you will have people to talk to.

 

[Interceptor]

http://www.bristollair.com/lairlist/#Australia

 

[AtomicDog]

Join a sports team. You'll have 20 guy friends instantly, and they'll be just as ready to pick-up chicks as you.

... i hope

 

[AtomicDog]

Yeah the sports club is cool.

Does Sydney have a PUA lair. THat would be good as well.

Plus I always heard you Australians are really social. Just go to the pubs. They sound like a blast.

I can't wait to go to Australia some day. It sounds awesome.

Heh.. the thing with australia is its not the same everywhere. Sydney is kinda cooled down, definately not the same crowd of people as you'd get say on the Gold Coast.

But its difficult being social anywhere if you dont have CONNECTIONS and people don't KNOW YOU, and I kinda look like a suspicious character to boot

Oh yeah -- they sydney lair -- guess what? They've closed it now, its only for people who were members all along. Which is really stupid. When they were going it was hard enough, I'd try to make arrangements to meet up and people would either flake or ignore the invitation altogether.

I think right now the sports club is the best idea going. I never felt good about joining a group of people whos sole interest is getting laid. People only really get on well when there are less superficial interests to share.

 

[seasonedplayer]

Atomic dog., I have never met you and dont know what you look like but I think I know what your problem is. your problem is that you live in one of the most unfriendliest cities in the world - Sydney. Only advantage of Sydney is there are lot of backpackers from europe, US, UK, Sth america. So you need to hang around the places they go to