different scenario.. suggestions?

[pete101]

here's a different scenario.. i arranged to meet a different HB tonight, she said she couldn't cos she has a dance class that finishes at the same time as i specified to meet, she didn't suggest another time so i came back with the suggestion to meet an hour later.

She came back with meeting her outside her class when it finished.. i said ok but stupidly made a joke about how she wouldn't be looking her best after the class, then she came back with that she couldn't meet today and it would be next time (but no suggestion of when next time)

i came back with that it was ok and i'll turn up.. but she insisted on not meeting, so i suggested the weekend as previously promised by her (tonight was more spur of the moment rather than set in stone. but she promised me this weekend previously)

surprise surprise she goes back on her word and said she has classes everyday and she'll decide later..

i countered with jokingly that she's going back on her promise and that she's losing points with me and suggested meet me tonight regardless. she didn't get back to me even when i tried calling an hour later, no answer.

big AFC rookie mistakes i know.. but it seems from the period when i said she wasn't looking her best after her class to the final msg the opportunity has gone and i'm not going to meet her ever.. how/why?

i don't understand the thinking behind this.. i made a joke about it now suddenly i go from definitely meeting her tonight to the point where it's a BS excuse of a 'maybe' where she has the power and control and decision where to meet.. that sincerely F's me off the tone these HBs seem to take with their self imposed pedestal positions

how should one counter these notions?

 

[MacAvoy]

NEVER joke to a women about her appearance. She's a writeoff now, move on. Don't contact her, if she contacts you, then you might have a chance. Lesson learned.

 

[BigAL]

If that is all it took...f**k her, women can sit back and talk sh*t about men all day long, then one little "joke" toward the little princess and she cops an attitude and goes to look for some other putz who will polish her personal self imposed pedestal, now it looks like she thought she was doing you a favor to meet you.

 

[pete101]

i thought it was more the case of she wanted to look her best for me rather than being a mess after dance class.. well that's what i presumed anyway so i made a comment about that when i tried to rearrange..

i think it might be more so the reponse times in between her msgs and mine.. i didn't leave it more than 10mins in between and she pretty responded to me as soon as i sent a reply.

i guess it must have came across too keen when even when she said to forget about tonight that i still insisted. i should have had the presence of mind to either suggest another time... or better yet counter telling her that its up to her to suggest another time.. but usually they come back with 'i'll let you know..' never really know how to respond to those answers.. i usually say something like 'then i expect a suggestion of a time by tomorrow or the deal is off..'

i know it's a power balance struggle.. do you think it makes a difference because i'm meeting her off facebook via a mutual friend?

i.e. kind of a blind date

 

[MacAvoy]

Pete, I guarantee that it had NOTHING to do with your response time or keenness. Women are VERY self conscious about their appearance. You basically dissed her when you joked about her not looking her best, it made her feel like she's NOT WORTHY of your company if she's not looking her best.

As for big al's comments, I'm willing to bet 95% of women would react that way, the other 5% would b1tch you out for bein rude or something along those lines.

 

[pete101]

haha.. i just asked her if she was going to be all sweaty and stuff.. is that really enough to cause that reaction?

wow.. no wonder she didn't give me another suggestion time.

 

[DavenJuan]

Mac is actually on key here. women are very sensitive with comments regarding their looks.

none the less... IF she does decide to do anything it is now on HER terms. as if you need to jump to hang out with her set by her standards.

personally, if someone is THAT wrapped up in there appearance and cant agree to a time to get together, then she is not really worth your time or effort to try and appease her.

she calls..then maybe you can get togehter. she doesnt, than she missed out on a great time.

her loss.

 

[MacAvoy]

none the less... IF she does decide to do anything it is now on HER terms. as if you need to jump to hang out with her set by her standards.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will you jump to hang out with her and do it by her standands. Wait till she contacts you, then proceed as normal. However I doubt she'll contact you but if she has high IL, she'll give you another chance, just don't put your foot in your mouth.

 

[pete101]

well she didn't contact me but i did get a reply to my msg and a few back and forths about BS that has infuriated me.. she said i was rude. i said i apologise if it appeared rude but that she shouldn't be so sensitive about it and stop acting like a princess.

she thought this was really funny, but i still countered with the fact that if she thinks what i said was rude then her not offering me another time to meet up was rude too and expecting the guy to do all the hard work and let girls walk over him. i tried to make it pretty clear to her im not one of those guys.

she still refuses to give me a straight answer about a definitive time and some BS.. it's giving me a headache. and she keeps trying to switch the story round about how she didn't promise to meet up specifically this weekend even though i got the evidence..

i left it with telling her that she'd only get one 2nd chance and that it's up to her arrange it cos i've done my bit. is that the best way to leave it?

i dont feel i've kept much pride in this situation and should have played it out better..

 

[pete101]

now it's just getting silly where i left it saying she has to impress me.. then she typically in spoilt girl fashion of saying how i wouldn't impress her trying to raise her pedestal level.. then i try to alleviate the situation by saying we have to both impress.. then she counters with something about why she would want to impress me..

i didn't know what to say i just had enough so i said forget the whole thing. what would be a better response when a girl asks you 'why do you think i would i want to impress you?'

 

[MacAvoy]

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: This is why you don't get into messaging with women, you only deal with them over the phone. This is exactly why they do it, they can control the conversation, they can ignore you if they don't like what you said and pretend they got busy.

You can't hold her accountable via txt msging.

Now to the situation, you should have never discussed it. I agree that the way you've gone about didn't leaving you feeling very proud but there is good news, you can still recover.

You've put the ball in her court, let her come to you from now on. It was ok to apologize and your doing fairly good about sticking up to her, the way your going about it is wrong though.

Whenever your dealing with her from now on though, I would just forget about it if you can, just move forward, pretend it never happened and if she brings it up, tell her its water under the bridge, if she can't let go of something so trivial, then she isn't worth your time.

In the meantime, start spinning new plates.

 

[MacAvoy]

See your second post at 7:54 is exactly why I said not to txt, its just getting you further in.