Did You Get Over Your Bdp Experience?

[orbion2013]

hello guys

i could do with some encouragement off you with experience!

i finally got a away from my bat sh@t crazy bdp relationship... man this girl did a job on me!

i did a vanishing act on her. changed my number & went ghost after we had an argument...

5 days later she sent me some emails, about not wanting to see me again, because according to her i,m the bad guy... all bull **** excuses.

anyhow, gave her no response & still strict ghost mode!


i,m feeling somewhat mind f@cked... like she did a number on me... also feeling of betrayel and regret, for sticking around for so long & taking her back more than once...


did you get over you bdp experience? is she out of your system now?

have you moved on? i,m just looking for some glimmer of hope, to give me the strength to move on

 

[Jair213]

hell yeah ive moved on its being over 2 years now for me. never looking back. bishes are insane.

 

[orbion2013]

do you feel like you are in a better place now? do you feel glad you got away from her insanity?

 

[DarkDetective50]

Mine was about a year ago and yes, I'm glad. Anytime I see her, I feel like I dodged a massive bullet. She wasnt even pretty to boot.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Mauser96 just did my work for me. I can only reiterate what he said.

BPDs suck the very life force out of you, and you're feeling the results of that. You WILL get better, but you must absolutely maintain NC no matter what. The healing process takes place BECAUSE you walk away. That is your point of strength.

She's going to try to suck you back into her vortex of doom by profusely apologizing and begging you to come back. You need to consider this as you would consider a demon trying to fool you onto a path leading to your own destruction. She will be absolutely convincing that she has changed. Don't believe it for a second. The mechanism inside her wants you drained and close to dead. Only then are you not a threat to her.

Most men go through many cycles of breakup/return with a BPD until they are close to dead in spirit. Now it the time to draw the line and design a new life for yourself, without this sick, toxic individual affecting you.

It's amazing how loudly and for how long a BPD experience echoes in a man's head. But again, the echoes cease when you make an absolute resolve to never, EVER make contact with her again. Even one text will prolong the agony by months. Extract her like the cancer that she is.

These women are sick beyond repair, I've never heard of one ever getting better, they are so severely damaged, and it's a shame to see women damaged in this way.

Stay strong, and remember, even if you reply to a text you'll be prolonging the pain. NC means NC. It is the ONLY cure.

The thing about NC is that it gives a man a sense of power. It allows him to demonstrate to himself that he is not slave to his emotional past with a woman, but that he has mastery over himself and his destiny.

Sit down with a pencil and paper and design your future. The future is very bright for a man who has made a break from BPD hell. You are now equipped to recognize the signs and are therefore immune from it ever happening again.

Above all, do not blame yourself. Your mind is probably buzzing with regrets, things you think you "should have" done differently, anger that you took the bait, and a plethora of other emotions. That's all part of the BPD experience. The fact is that when a man gets into his first BPD relationship, he has virtually no defense, no way of seeing what is around the corner. Then the sh!t starts flying, and he has no way to process and understand what is happening. It's so confusing that he doubts himself on almost every level. He starts to blame himself, and this self-blame can become amplified once he breaks contact with her. It is completely normal to go through all these emotions, and it is critically important to understand that it is not your fault, that you had no way of knowing what was about to happen, and no way of handling it once it did happen. These emotions and experiences are UNIVERSAL to all men who are involved with a BPD woman. In fact, the universality of both the behavior of the BPD woman, and the experience of men who go through this, is astounding. You have many, many brothers here who have been through it, so listen to them and follow their advice to the letter.

NO CONTACT.

Congratulations on your escape.

 

[denverfan110]

Ya. Kicked her to curb in may. Now currently happy with my current plate/potentially turning into LTR. It gets better man. Chill with your bros meet some new girls and always put things in perspective. That always puts a smile on my face.

Obviously maintain NC and you can be sure she's the one tearing out her hair and crying herself to sleep, not you

 

[orbion2013]

thank you for your support guys... right now it feels like such a big uphill struggle, but with time i know it will get better & i will really start to see what kind of demon i have been dealing with..

twice she has come back begging... things was not going well in her life, so she decided she would beg me to come back... then she went back to her old ways again...

i went 100% ghost on her nearly 2 weeks ago... and believe me, that is exactly how it will remain....

 

[sylvester the cat]

Nope. I was born to one. So no escape for me.

 

[orbion2013]

how did you guys deal with the thought of her, being with other guys after you got away from her?

i know mine won't hang around, as she is desperate to settle down, so i know she will find another victim..

also my ex was very good looking & the sex was great... how did you guys deal with having to downgrade looks wise? and sex wise?

 

[:-)]

as soon as i told my bpd i was engaged to someone else - BOOM! she was up the duff and married to some guy on the other side of the planet.

i didn't downgrade looks wise - but the boredom of a 'normal' girl in comparison to a bpd is mind-numbing.

 

[denverfan110]

Think about self improvement man.

I couldnt be ****ed to think about what she was doing while I was trying to be my 100% best everyday.

 

[orbion2013]

as soon as i told my bpd i was engaged to someone else - BOOM! she was up the duff and married to some guy on the other side of the planet.

i didn't downgrade looks wise - but the boredom of a 'normal' girl in comparison to a bpd is mind-numbing.

but the price we pay for that amazing sex, is unreal..

 

[:-)]

but the price we pay for that amazing sex, is unreal..

Yup. your sanity for a few moments of fun.

I always though sanity was overrated anyway.

 

[Lotus Effect]

It bothered me for a bit, especially when I heard a guy who was a "friend" of hers and her were now an item. That lasted about 4 months, lol. I know, now.....without a doubt that she will NEVER have a successful relationship. That makes me feel really good!!!! How can she? I know she is currently alone, and I know how much she hates being alone. She loved to put up a facade on Facebook about her wild and adventurous, fun-filled life. But peel back the layers.....and it is a different story...she told me one time while we were dating, that when I wasn't there, all she did all weekend was sit in her basement and watch TV. A rare bit of honesty from her. Caught her in a sentimental moment I guess.
Anyways, I know she doesn't have many friends (being a biatch and a narcissist and betraying people will do that ya know...) and the ones she hangs around with? I have met them. Society would consider them losers.

Hahahahaha!

It is amazing man! If I did not knew it wasn't me who wrote this words I could easily believe it was. It is the same exact f*cking thing.

In any event, I am just happy to be away from her. I wish I could play the "bigger person " card and tell you I wish her well, but I don't. I wish her a life of lonely weekend nights in her basement, reflecting on how she treats people, and why she is alone. I wish her poverty, sadness, loneliness, and a life of regrets, and I wish her speedy fading of her looks.

And I feel quite the same way about it!

 

[orbion2013]

man i hope that time comes soon... part of me thinks, she will have already branch swung to some other dude.

i guess, no news is good news..... i just need to get my life back on track & start living like a normal human being again.

 

[user name]

man i hope that time comes soon... part of me thinks, she will have already branch swung to some other dude.

i guess, no news is good news..... i just need to get my life back on track & start living like a normal human being again.

Yeah, but when you understand it is never personal it's not all that bad - if she treats you the way she did, then she'll treat the next guy the same way.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Man. It will take some time.

She had already brunch swung to another dude for sure. Even more, she most likely went to a few night clubs already and hooked up with as many guys as possible.

Dont you ever try to find out what is she up to, because it will only hurt you and most specially IT WILL NOT BRING HER BACK. So no news is really good.

And in this time, that will be long, focus on yourself, improve yourself, and live for yourself. Go do lots of sh*t, that way you shift the focus on your mind from her to you.

All of this are easier said than done though! Be ready for a bumpy ride!

Peace

 

[orbion2013]

Man. It will take some time.

She had already brunch swung to another dude for sure. Even more, she most likely went to a few night clubs already and hooked up with as many guys as possible.

Dont you ever try to find out what is she up to, because it will only hurt you and most specially IT WILL NOT BRING HER BACK. So no news is really good.

And in this time, that will be long, focus on yourself, improve yourself, and live for yourself. Go do lots of sh*t, that way you shift the focus on your mind from her to you.

All of this are easier said than done though! Be ready for a bumpy ride!

Peace

dude i don't want her back... if i wanted her back, i would not have gone ghost on her...

it's just shocking how these disgusting creatures just move onto the next victim, like all the years u spent together meant nothing

 

[trent_afc]

I broke it off with my BPD/NPD girl a couple months back. After the first breakup (where my belongings ended up in the driveway), she came back to me after 7 weeks. It seemed like she sincerely had changed...and she did somewhat, but not completely. And definitely not enough for her to have a healthy relationship, probably for the rest of her life.

I agreed to get back together but I never moved back in; basically arranged a FWB/we'll see how it goes situation without labeling it as such. So I ****ed her silly for another 5-6 months, but the craziness returned (it always does), and I decided the great sex wasn't worth it and dumped her/went NC. I had emotionally detached after the first breakup, so no tears were shed the last time. And I found it much easier to deal with her insanity since I didn't have to live with her...and I felt she was less inclined to go crazy knowing I would leave when she started with the ****.

After all the research on the topic that I did, I basically learned that BPD/NPD people are lost causes with almost no hope of recovery, even with drugs and professional therapy. Please move on, you deserve better. It's amazing how spending some time with some normal chicks will make you realize how much BS you put up with but didn't deserve.

 

[usernamedox11]

Yes. Completely over her. In fact, heard a knock on my door last night, the same exact faint knock she used to do when coming over. Was terrified it was her. Completely ignored it and didn't ask who it was. Will not let her back into my life.