Did the Opportunity Pass?

RomanX

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Hey guys, I (31m) need some advice on how to move forward with a chick(34f) I went on a date with last Saturday. Let me give you the background:

We met up for drinks, things were going OK, not the most exciting date I've been on but I made her laugh a few times, conversation came pretty easily, we split the bill and moved to another bar. Things kept going pretty well until the following exchange happened.

Her: I'm a Pisces, what's your sign?
Me: Cancer:
Her: One of my best friends is a Cancer, Pisces and Cancers get along really well.
Me: Well then you and I don't stand a chance, you can't have a relationship with someone and be friends with them.
Her: Why not?
Me: It just doesn't work that way.
Her: Some of my best LTRs have been with guys that were really good friends.
Me: Yeah? How did that end up?

We didn't really get into an argument but she kept pressing me and asking me why I felt this way and she started bringing up some of her past relationships but I wouldn't back down. Towards the end of the date she called me mean but not in an angry way, it almost sounded kind of sad, definitely not flirty. The bill came and I put it on my card and told her she can venmo me. I offered to walk her to her car but she didn't want me to, I told her it was on the way to my car anyway. As she was getting into her car I said that I wasn't trying to be mean but I enjoyed her company anyway, she gave me one word responses. The last thing that I said to her before she left was that she owes me $13.

I haven't heard from her since. My question is, do you guys think I even stand a chance at a follow up? To be clear: If I never hear from her again I will not be hurt but I can't help but feel like I could still f*ck her. I definitely got in her head although not the way I intended. I was thinking of texting her in a week to remind her that she still owes me money, I know it makes me sound cheap but I don't know why I should foot the bill. Thoughts?
 
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Tbh idk why you even argued over that tbh. You sound like my crazy ex that would always ask me lose lose questions lol.
 

Mike32ct

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Don’t want to “Monday morning quarterback”this but...

1. I think she took offense to your comments about the friendship thing. While you are probably correct, she didn’t appreciate being “schooled” on red pill stuff. She was trying to “throw you a bone” on the horoscope thing because she liked you, but you threw cold water on that i.e. punished good behavior.

2. To add insult to injury, you asked her pay the other half for Bar Tab#2. Splitting Bar Tab#1 was maybe ok, but I wouldn’t have done that twice.

I would not expect to hear from her at this point.
 

bat soup

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Hey guys, I (31m) need some advice on how to move forward with a chick(34f) I went on a date with last Saturday. Let me give you the background:

We met up for drinks, things were going OK, not the most exciting date I've been on but I made her laugh a few times, conversation came pretty easily, we split the bill and moved to another bar. Things kept going pretty well until the following exchange happened.

Her: I'm a Pisces, what's your sign?
Me: Cancer:
Her: One of my best friends is a Cancer, Pisces and Cancers get along really well.
Me: Well then you and I don't stand a chance, you can't have a relationship with someone and be friends with them.
Her: Why not?
Me: It just doesn't work that way.
Her: Some of my best LTRs have been with guys that were really good friends.
Me: Yeah? How did that end up?

We didn't really get into an argument but she kept pressing me and asking me why I felt this way and she started bringing up some of her past relationships but I wouldn't back down. Towards the end of the date she called me mean but not in an angry way, it almost sounded kind of sad, definitely not flirty. The bill came and I put it on my card and told her she can venmo me. I offered to walk her to her car but she didn't want me to, I told her it was on the way to my car anyway. As she was getting into her car I said that I wasn't trying to be mean but I enjoyed her company anyway, she gave me one word responses. The last thing that I said to her before she left was that she owes me $13.

I haven't heard from her since. My question is, do you guys think I even stand a chance at a follow up? To be clear: If I never hear from her again I will not be hurt but I can't help but feel like I could still f*ck her. I definitely got in her head although not the way I intended. I was thinking of texting her in a week to remind her that she still owes me money, I know it makes me sound cheap but I don't know why I should foot the bill. Thoughts?
Instead of paying and then trying to chase her like a debt collector, you should just tell her "you can get this one" or put down your share and wait for her to get out her purse to pay her part. Or you could just avoid going to the kind of places that give a woman the opportunity to consume on your dime in the first place.

I think where you really went wrong was by not making a move. All this time spent and yet it seems that all you did was listen to her yap. If you had made a move you'd have your answer.
 

RomanX

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Why the hell would you say this? This one is dead. You blew it. Don’t debate or argue with chicks on the first date.

Men, if it doesn’t raise her interest level don’t say it!
It doesn't translate well over text but when I said it wouldn't work out between us, I did it in a playful way which she seemed to react well too but I guess I also hit a nerve.
 

RomanX

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Don’t want to “Monday morning quarterback”this but...

1. I think she took offense to your comments about the friendship thing. While you are probably correct, she didn’t appreciate being “schooled” on red pill stuff. She was trying to “throw you a bone” on the horoscope thing because she liked you, but you threw cold water on that i.e. punished good behavior.

2. To add insult to injury, you asked her pay the other half for Bar Tab#2. Splitting Bar Tab#1 was maybe ok, but I wouldn’t have done that twice.

I would not expect to hear from her at this point.
Valid point, keep the red pill stuff to myself or just act on it but don't bring it up as a conversation piece.

I was probably being a little childish about the tab, especially since it really didn't cost much at all, but it wasn't a date, I asked her to meet me for drinks. The weird thing is I usually offer to pay for drinks but recently I've stopped, especially if it isn't a real date.
 

Kotaix

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You fought with her and continued to do so though multiple chances at redemption. I wouldn't give you another chance if I were her either.

Learn to relax and enjoy the date
 

RomanX

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Welcome to the boards @RomanX

You made things too logical.

Not a fan of one-word answers to her questions. When you said 'Cancer', you could've added, "...and it really is true that we wear our hearts on our sleeves.

You still had an opportunity to salvage it. When she called you 'mean', there were so many other plays you could've made.
But you didn't.

...and at the end of the date that YOU ruined, you bullied her about $13.
That's a good line about being a cancer, I'll definitely use it. What play would you have made? I may have acted too stubborn by not backing down. I guess I forgot what the end goal was and stuck to my guns.
 

King Lion

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I hope it was worth it - Now do yourself a favor - Take the $13 and buy a clue!
 

2Rocky

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It is a lot easier to take her positive comments in a direction you desire than argue and try to then change direction to your viewpoint.


Put a sexual spin on it...
 
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