Did I overreact here?

[SteR]

Went out for drinks with a girl I met last week. Everything seemed to be going well.. lots of laughing/touching/teasing etc. But then out of nowhere (about 2.5 hours in) she gets a call and announces her friend has just arrived in the city and she has to go meet her.

When I heard this I thought WTF? If you're going out for a drink with someone, would you really ditch them if a friend called you up? That instantly killed any connection I felt I had with this girl and I was like 'right, this has been fun, cya later'. The said she was coming with me to the station, walked arm in arm with me and I kissed her on the cheek and said 'cya, have fun'. She looked as though she was expecting more but I was pretty irritated at this point.

When I got in I figured I'd next her but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting? If it was the other way round, I certainly wouldn't drop a date to go meet a friend.

She said she'd like to meet up again but I'm wondering if I can be bothered. What do you guys reckon?

 

[Zunder]

So why did you do the nice guy thing and walk her to the station? She just rejected you for a "more important" friend, and you took her arm in arm - I just would like you to have said "See ya" where you were and leave it there.

 

[pdx1138]

hhhmmm thats a tough one.

I don't like the first few dates to be more than 2hrs myself. (keeping the mystery up n stuff)

I suppose you would have been less irritated had she said in advance she would meet up but she'd have to shorten it since her friend was coming in.

or if she did it like this:

I had a date like this once except just an hour before we were meeting she asked if we should still meet up because she would have to cut it short in order to get to work on time. We did anyways and it was brief, only about 45 minutes but we met up again the following sunday.


it's her turn to show you her interest....so don't contact her at all and see what she does.

 

[SteR]

So why did you do the nice guy thing and walk her to the station? She just rejected you for a "more important" friend, and you took her arm in arm - I just would like you to have said "See ya" where you were and leave it there.

I didn't. I said I was leaving and she said she was going the same way.. I wasn't gonna tell her to get lost, and she was the one her put her arm around mine. Besides it's not like she spat in my face or anything, I just figured it was a little rude.

hhhmmm thats a tough one.

I don't like the first few dates to be more than 2hrs myself. (keeping the mystery up n stuff)

I suppose you would have been less irritated had she said in advance she would meet up but she'd have to shorten it since her friend was coming in.

or if she did it like this:

I had a date like this once except just an hour before we were meeting she asked if we should still meet up because she would have to cut it short in order to get to work on time. We did anyways and it was brief, only about 45 minutes but we met up again the following sunday.


it's her turn to show you her interest....so don't contact her at all and see what she does.

Of course I'd have no problem if she warned me in advance. I suppose this is why I'm worried I'm overreacting here? Maybe it was on the cards all along except she didn't feel it necessary to let me know.

But yea, I completely agree with your suggestion - I'll let her make the next move..

 

[Die Hard]

I think you are overreacting a bit. The date lasted 2.5 hours so it seems okay to me that she wanted to meet up with her friend. If she had done the same thing after 30 minutes, I'd be pissed but 2.5 hours is MORE than enough for a date.

Don't sweat it! I don't know all the details, but it seems to me that this girl is definitely into you and she wasn't trying to disrespect you. Nevertheless, you feel disappointed...but I think that is more of an inner issue you need to resolve within yourself, rather than taking it out on her. Like I said, don't sweat it, I see no reason to be worried about anything. Just set up the second date and make sure you kiss her within 2.5 hours this time, things will be fine!!

 

[Desdinova]

Went out for drinks with a girl I met last week.

She just rejected you for a "more important" friend

How about we put things into perspective. She's known you for a week. She's known this friend for more than a week and hasn't seen them in a long time.

A good friend she hasn't seen in a long time is going to have more importance than a guy she's known for a week. If my brother came into town, I'd ditch every date I had to hang with him.

I wouldn't write her off because of this. She's obviously still interested in you, so why let this bum you out? Set up another date!

 

[Jitterbug]

Two and a half hours? Did you tell each other your life story on the first date?

 

[typical]

Two and a half hours? Did you tell each other your life story on the first date?

I reckon man shoulda kept it less then 60 mins tbh. Like go bowling play pool or go out get a few drinks chit chat try and get a kiss close or more if not leave on a high note and call her again next week if you want to.

 

[zekko]

Yeah, two and a half hours seems like she gave you more than enough time.
She may have even had this call from her friend set up to have an excuse to leave at a decent time. Just because she agreed to some drinks with you doesn't mean that you were entitled to spend the whole night with her.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Before you NEXT her, get some context...maybe she wasn't trying to diss you...maybe this person comes around rarely and they have a deep friendship...you may gain points if you give her space in those moments even if you are irritated...if you see a trend of being placed on second for more of her passing whims be skeptical...but I would say since you are in the early stages with this girl just give it some time and see if some of these moments you perceive as "disrespect" repeat themselves...

I have found sometimes patience with people can go a long way, often they are not acting in ways to deliberately hurt or irritate...sometimes they are even entirely unaware...

Her character will prove itself with time.

 

[pdx1138]

I was discussing this with my sister at dinner last night.

From her perspective, your date texted her friend and told her to call to get her out of the date.

Thats not necessarily what happened but a good possibility.

In any case, leave it up to her to contact you and if she is genuinely interested, she will

 

[The Duke]

Went out for drinks with a girl I met last week. Everything seemed to be going well.. lots of laughing/touching/teasing etc. But then out of nowhere (about 2.5 hours in) she gets a call and announces her friend has just arrived in the city and she has to go meet her.

When I heard this I thought WTF? If you're going out for a drink with someone, would you really ditch them if a friend called you up? That instantly killed any connection I felt I had with this girl and I was like 'right, this has been fun, cya later'. The said she was coming with me to the station, walked arm in arm with me and I kissed her on the cheek and said 'cya, have fun'. She looked as though she was expecting more but I was pretty irritated at this point.

When I got in I figured I'd next her but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting? If it was the other way round, I certainly wouldn't drop a date to go meet a friend.

She said she'd like to meet up again but I'm wondering if I can be bothered. What do you guys reckon?

What she did was rude. Who knows why she did what she did. How did her body language change throughout the date? If her body language got more negative as the date went on, then the whole "my friend just came into town" thing was probably staged and she isn't that interested. Body language is one thing people can't really lie about. Its why you go by "actions", not "words".

I wouldn't go out of my way to meet up with her again. She'd only get a second chance with me if she worked at it, or I didn't have anything better going on. What she did was bad manners.

Remember women are very fickle! She seems no different.

 

[SteR]

Well, I didn't expect this much feedback haha. Anyway she was texting me today hinting at going out again.. looks like everything's back on track.

How did her body language change throughout the date?

Didn't change at all.. she was groping me all evening which I guess is why I found it a bit weird. I know when things are going well with a woman and they definitely were. I suppose I just found a little odd to have all this build up and then suddenly feel like I'd hit a brick wall. Don't get me wrong, I don't think we ended on a sour note.. it just put me off making a move on her at the end of the evening.

On a side note, I find it funny that a lot of you guys work to certain time restraints. I've always just gone along and let it play out until I feel like it ending.. It'd suck to be constantly checking the clock.

 

[Desdinova]

On a side note, I find it funny that a lot of you guys work to certain time restraints. I've always just gone along and let it play out until I feel like it ending.. It'd suck to be constantly checking the clock.

Yeah, I don't bother with the clock or calendar. If I'm busy, I won't answer a text. If I have plans, the date gets cut short. I'll call whenever I have time.

The time constraints are a great guideline for noobs to help them appear not desperate. When you're truly not desperate, you can quit bothering with your watch and calendar.

 

[SteR]

Quick update: Had second date and kissed closed. This one's in the bag

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Dude mad props, see? Congrats!

 

[Nutz]

So why did you do the nice guy thing and walk her to the station? She just rejected you for a "more important" friend, and you took her arm in arm - I just would like you to have said "See ya" where you were and leave it there.

I've had that happen as well and that's what I did. To be fair I keep dates low-investment and short so there's an expected breaking point anyways. If a friend calls them up like that then it's no big deal because it wasn't supposed to be a long drawn out date anyway. And more than a few times I'm the guy they're ditching the date to meet up with later That's the position you should be striving for IMO.

 

[SteR]

Funnily enough she was genuinely meeting her friend.. I got to meet her the other night, ha. If there's anything I've learnt from this, it's just to remain calm..

 

[Juan Don]

Funnily enough she was genuinely meeting her friend.. I got to meet her the other night, ha. If there's anything I've learnt from this, it's just to remain calm..

lol definitely