Did I misinterpret her message?

[drift king]

I was in a bad mood this morning and had an awkward phone call last night. 1 of my plates didn't reply to my date meet up so i decided to call her, when she didn't pick up i said 'screw it' and deleted her number.

unfortunately, she called 20mins later and because i had deleted the number i didnt know who the hell it was! evetually when i asked her she was like 'we'll talk another time blah blah' i was really confused who it was panicing on the phone.

i sent her a text after to apologise saying her number didn't show up and i had no idea why. lol

she replied to me this morning to say:

thank you for your text. it was definitely not a usual call. i had a lovely time when we met although im slightly concerned at how vague you are with what it is you do and where you work, i appreciate your comment that its a cultural thing but unfortunately i find this uncomfortable. i wish u all the very best. i hope your brother settles in well.

see i took this on 1st reading that she wanted to end it and cos i was in a bad mood i didn't care about losing her as a plate so i basically replied saying i wasn't interested anymore:

im a x for x company. doesnt matter anyway im not interested anymore. you're a lovely woman but you seem to have too many things going on at once, constantly on the phone while on a date, delaying the time again and again, it doesnt set a good precedent for the future.. i just wanted to apologise for the awkward call cos your no. wasn't showing up. take care.

did i misinterpret her original text? i just felt it sounded like she wanted to end it but wanted to keep me dangling to see if i'd come back and she didn't anticipate i'd be like 'you know what forget it'

she then replied with: thank you, all the very best. i would just like to clarify that i didnt use my phone save to arrange to meet a friend after you mentioned you needed to rush off to a dinner. as to delaying the time i think you must have me confused as your text and call were the first time you mantioned to meet again. i appreciate you do not wish to meet but i think its fair to be honest about the reasons. all the very best.

it's weird it sounds like she still was interested but was hurt that im not, like she's trying to find out exactly why i dont want to see her anymore.

i think i did the right thing though? im sure that 1st text reads like she doesn't want to see me anymore and she just never anticipated i'd say 'ok not interested anymore' she expects me to come back, i cant now after this big speech.

 

[drift king]

was she actually still interested?

 

[loveshogun]

was she actually still interested?

Doesn't matter.

One thing you should realize is that if a sane woman that's worth seeing is interested in you, it is NEVER a mystery.

NEVER.

If you have to ask, there's a problem, Holmes.

Also, as a matter of tact, the message you sent back as an "I'm not interested" has no purpose. Doesn't do anything for you, and will likely just put you into a "I sure zinged her!" type of mindset.

I could go for pages writing as to why "getting the last word" in with a woman (especially over text) never works/is always pointless/causes a guy to obsess more than he normally would over a simple situation, but I'm sure I've explained it at least a dozen times already.

Move on - you've (hopefully) got cool things going for you other than women.

 

[Iceberg]

Doesn't matter.

One thing you should realize is that if a sane woman that's worth seeing is interested in you, it is NEVER a mystery.

NEVER.

If you have to ask, there's a problem, Holmes.

I wish I could hack into the site and put that on every page.

Every girl I date (at least since I stopped living like an AFC) leaves ZERO mystery about her interest in me.

If I ever have the urge to come on here and ask what's going on with a female, there's a 99% chance it means she's not interested. It doesn't mean I need to raise her IL or go no contact or some other PUA sh1t. It means I need to f**k someone else.

 

[drift king]

I wish I could hack into the site and put that on every page.

Every girl I date (at least since I stopped living like an AFC) leaves ZERO mystery about her interest in me.

If I ever have the urge to come on here and ask what's going on with a female, there's a 99% chance it means she's not interested. It doesn't mean I need to raise her IL or go no contact or some other PUA sh1t. It means I need to f**k someone else.

this makes sense.

The other 1 i was seeing a few weeks ago for the first week, she kept texting me every day, wondering how i was, asking me stupid questions. clearly she's interested right? i dont think it was for attention.

she met up with me whenever i suggested. my mistake was meeting up with her 3 times in 1 week and not escalating to sex. i did badly on our 3rd meet. even the 2nd 1 wasn't great, i stayed too long overstayed my welcome, but the next day she still texted me to ask me something.. but something happened between that text and the next date where she lost IL. I think she knew she had me then. Now she denies she ever was interested or liked me.

Is that just cos what she's feeling now and the past is irrelevant?

 

[yuppaz]

this makes sense.

The other 1 i was seeing a few weeks ago for the first week, she kept texting me every day, wondering how i was, asking me stupid questions. clearly she's interested right? i dont think it was for attention.

she met up with me whenever i suggested. my mistake was meeting up with her 3 times in 1 week and not escalating to sex. i did badly on our 3rd meet. even the 2nd 1 wasn't great, i stayed too long overstayed my welcome, but the next day she still texted me to ask me something.. but something happened between that text and the next date where she lost IL. I think she knew she had me then. Now she denies she ever was interested or liked me.

Is that just cos what she's feeling now and the past is irrelevant?

Something is definitely wrong if you are having a conversation that end up in "So did you like me"? I think your issue might be abundance vs. scarcity. Try to get more women in your life that you are talking to / interacting with to build the feeling of "I have plenty of options". THAT will ensure that these kind of situations just don't come up anymore. You are putting too much emphasis on this girl being the one it works out with, then that girl, then the next one.

 

[drift king]

Doesn't matter.

One thing you should realize is that if a sane woman that's worth seeing is interested in you, it is NEVER a mystery.

NEVER.

If you have to ask, there's a problem, Holmes.

Also, as a matter of tact, the message you sent back as an "I'm not interested" has no purpose. Doesn't do anything for you, and will likely just put you into a "I sure zinged her!" type of mindset.

I could go for pages writing as to why "getting the last word" in with a woman (especially over text) never works/is always pointless/causes a guy to obsess more than he normally would over a simple situation, but I'm sure I've explained it at least a dozen times already.

Move on - you've (hopefully) got cool things going for you other than women.

I hear what you're saying, but i dont know what happened exactly. I was just in a bad mood and took the wish you all the best as she's not interested anymore, so i was just saying neither am i. now it seems like she suddenly became interested. i think i was right in doing what i did though?

it was a clear rejection from her i think.

 

[dankane]

The point is who cares?

You will never know.

 

[Chamber36]

well imho you could have sent some more texts to reassert to her that you WERE interested. She wanted your validation after you didn't recognise her voice on the phone.

I bet if you texted her now she would still be interested.