Did I lose her?

[DontThink]

I met this girl at my friends BBQ. I overheard her talking about how hot I looked, so I went over to her we made a connection. I got her number and gave her mine.

She called me a few days later and asked what I was upto. I told her i'm playing some hold'em with a few buddies and invited her remembering that she said she loves poker. She came and we had a blast. It came down to the two of us, and she asked me if we could split the pot, and I said sure. At the end of the night, I asked her to gimme a ride home. She said sure.

She parked the car right infront of my house and pulled her hair up. We talked for a bit and i felt great, messing with her, making her laugh. A few hours later, she said its getting late and I gave her a high five and a hug, (cuz of the poker game we won) and I told her I'll call her up.

Well I called her a few days later to hang out and she said she is going skydiving. And so the next day I invited her to a party and she said sure, but this time she never came. Her friend called me the next day and told me her phone died and she is sorry.

This is where I am kinda confused. Is she waiting for me to call her? Or has she nexted me?

 

[lifemisspent]

Who knows and no use trying to read her mind.

Just blow her off for a couple of days are even a week. See what happens.

 

[Igetit!]

She parked the car right infront of my house and pulled her hair up. We talked for a bit and i felt great, messing with her, making her laugh. A few hours later, she said its getting late and I gave her a high five and a hug, (cuz of the poker game we won) and I told her I'll call her up.

It seems like everything was fine and going well up to this point.
I think when she gave you a ride home and you two were sitting in her car together,then she "pulled her hair up",you missed your opportunity right there. You missed her IOIs.

Her giving you a ride home.
Her parking her car in front of your houise instead of leaving the motor running waiting for you to get out.
Her pulling her hair up (playing with her hair).

Seems to me you missed a chance to show her your interest by kissing her,holding her hand,or giving her some type of romantic gesture.

Instead,you played it safe by giving her a "high five".

99% of the time,when you play it safe,you lose.

Well I called her a few days later to hang out and she said she is going skydiving. And so the next day I invited her to a party and she said sure, but this time she never came. Her friend called me the next day and told me her phone died and she is sorry.

Yeah,it's starting to look clearer now. Look at her behavior before the car ride home as compared to afterwards.

Before,she was calling you,talking about how "hot" you were,exchanging numbers,came over to where you were to hang out and play poker,etc.

Now she's giving you excuses,flaking and not showing up,etc.

She WAS sexually attracted to you. She was interested in you SEXUALLY. I mean come on,you overheard her telling someone she thought you were hot. But when you two were alone,you hid your sexual side,behind being nice and "high fives".

By looking at you from across the room,in her mind,she thought you were this hot,sexy guy,but once she talked to you,hung out with you,and got to know you,she didn't "feel" the hotness/the attraction anymore.

She couldn't feel it because of all the laughing,messing around,joking,and hi-fives in the way.

Sorry dude. Looks like you put out the fire she felt for you by being a nice guy.

This is where I am kinda confused. Is she waiting for me to call her? Or has she nexted me?

I don't know if she's waiting for you to call her,because you've already called her and invited her out like twice and got two different excuses.

She may have nexted you already. If you can't get her to spend time alone with you,then you won't be able to re-ignite the chemistry she felt for you.

 

[chrisgoodrich25]

i would hit her up for a date a little while late and let her know your intertested whats the worst that could happen?

 

[DontThink]

I snoozed in the car, and if thats the main reason for her changing her demeanor, I dont think it would've worked anyhow. However, I wont make the same mistake again.

Is it a possibility that because I didnt make a move in the car, she thinks IM not the one thats interested?

I'll give her till friday and if I get nothing, I will forget about her.

 

[Evzone]

Is it a possibility that because I didnt make a move in the car, she thinks IM not the one thats interested?

Yes.

I've been guilty of this mistake too. At least now you know though for next time.

 

[Igetit!]

I snoozed in the car, and if thats the main reason for her changing her demeanor...

Snoozed??? What do you mean "snoozed"? What,like you fell asleep? You went to sleep on her?

LOL,that's funny man. :crackup:

Man,I SWEAR this forum is something else. Just when I think I've heard it all.

Is it a possibility that because I didnt make a move in the car, she thinks IM not the one thats interested?

Yeah,it's a possibility,however,I think it's more of a case of her thinking that you were too scared to make a move than not being interested.

I'll give her till friday and if I get nothing, I will forget about her.

Good idea,but if she does contact you,you need to let her know you're interested. Set up a date,then TELL HER to wear something nice FOR YOU.

That'll show her a sexual interest on your part without going overboard.

Good luck man.

 

[DontThink]

Snoozed??? What do you mean "snoozed"? What,like you fell asleep? You went to sleep on her?

LOL,that's funny man. :crackup:

Man,I SWEAR this forum is something else. Just when I think I've heard it all.

Yeah,it's a possibility,however,I think it's more of a case of her thinking that you were too scared to make a move than not being interested.

Good idea,but if she does contact you,you need to let her know you're interested. Set up a date,then TELL HER to wear something nice FOR YOU.

That'll show her a sexual interest on your part without going overboard.

Good luck man.

I meant I snoozed as in I didnt make a move.

Good stuff fellas, thanks.

 

[IKO69]

listen to iget it. i think he's right. your only mistake her that i can see is in some places you weren't as aggressive as you should've been. but that's okay and you'll do better next time.

 

[daytona]

I'm in the same boat here. I didn't make a move at the end of the night and now she's been "busy" lately and it's been hard getting her to see me again. Anyway I'm seeing her again tomorrow. Any chance to raise her interest again? What should I do?

 

[Sandow]

Follow Igetit's advice. Let this be a lesson, always make a move in those situations...or else you look like the typical AFC.

 

[Ease]

IMO:

Calling the next day looked silly and too available.

I wouldnt put this down to just 'not making a move in the car', i think it was also about the timing.

Call her again this weekend and see if shes free on a weekday night the following week. Seeing as her interest level in you isnt very high, put in lots of time between phone calls and dates. Your supposed to be illusive and mysterious at first when her interest isnt great, not rush and make it obvious you really want to see her.

also, why on earth did her friend phone you and not her? couldnt she borrow her friends fone? use a home phone? use any phone? doesnt sound too good.

 

[DavenJuan]

I met this girl at my friends BBQ. I overheard her talking about how hot I looked, so I went over to her we made a connection. I got her number and gave her mine.

She called me a few days later and asked what I was upto. I told her i'm playing some hold'em with a few buddies and invited her remembering that she said she loves poker. She came and we had a blast. It came down to the two of us, and she asked me if we could split the pot, and I said sure. At the end of the night, I asked her to gimme a ride home. She said sure.

She parked the car right infront of my house and pulled her hair up. We talked for a bit and i felt great, messing with her, making her laugh. A few hours later, SHE SAID ITS GETTING LATE and I gave her a high five and a hug, (cuz of the poker game we won) and I told her I'll call her up.

Well I called her a few days later to hang out and she said she is going skydiving. And so the next day I invited her to a party and she said sure, but this time she never came.HER FRIEND CALLED ME THE NEXT DAY and told me her phone died and she is sorry.

This is where I am kinda confused. Is she waiting for me to call her? Or has she nexted me?

Originally Posted by DontThink
Is it a possibility that because I didnt make a move in the car, she thinks IM not the one thats interested?

NO... the fact that you didnt make a move in the car, SHES probably not interested. It has nothing to do with YOU being interested or not.

look at all the redflags in your thread.

why did you wait...HOURS... in the car to make a move.. ?? you sat there for hours waiting for what? she did EXACTLY what she should have done, actually she should have done it SOONER, instead of waiting that long

she gave you AMPLE TIME to make a move, say something, keep her interested.
you sat there, thinking... " she must really dig me, we are having hours of good conversation.. why else would she be sitting in front of my house.."

WRONG..

You were no different than anyone else who she would have been interested in.
follow your sname brother.. DONT THINK... just do it. and im not saying that you should have been working to get her interest level up,

but at the very least if you didnt feel 'comfortable" making something out of the few hours in the car, you should have shown some value and cut it extremely short. you got thinks to do..

- decreased interest level
- low value
- too much interest shown by sitting there
- lack of confidence

IMO, these are the things that she got from the car in a matter of hours from you, without even knowing what you two talked about...

future reference....

appreciate and RESPECT your OWN TIME first.

 

[daytona]

Good info guys. I'm gonna give it my best shot tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I could raise her interest level again. After all, I didn't spend hours in a parked car not doing anything (sorry Daven). As soon as I can feel a spark I'm gonna take action and see where that leads me.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I met this girl at my friends BBQ. I overheard her talking about how hot I looked, so I went over to her we made a connection. I got her number and gave her mine.

She called me a few days later and asked what I was upto. I told her i'm playing some hold'em with a few buddies and invited her remembering that she said she loves poker. She came and we had a blast. It came down to the two of us, and she asked me if we could split the pot, and I said sure. At the end of the night, I asked her to gimme a ride home. She said sure.

She parked the car right infront of my house and pulled her hair up. We talked for a bit and i felt great, messing with her, making her laugh. A few hours later, she said its getting late and I gave her a high five and a hug, (cuz of the poker game we won) and I told her I'll call her up.

Well I called her a few days later to hang out and she said she is going skydiving. And so the next day I invited her to a party and she said sure, but this time she never came. Her friend called me the next day and told me her phone died and she is sorry.

This is where I am kinda confused. Is she waiting for me to call her? Or has she nexted me?

Dude, "Don't Think" too much.

When she pulled her hair up and you were making her laugh, that is when you needed to make a physical move on her and kiss her, for starters.

Doesn't matter what she's thinking. Give her a call, be fun, make her laugh, and right away invite her to get together, and make sure you kiss her and stop beating around the bush with her; she's probably thinking either you are not interested or you are a pu$$y for not making a move.

 

[DontThink]

I said fu*k it and called her up yesterday to set something up. She didnt answer and text me a few mins later saying "Hey wassup? Im at school" So I replied "Hit me up afterwards". I waited around and she never called or texted back.

Thats two strikes. I am about done with her. I will see her again on friday because we have like friends, but should I even pay attention to her at all?

Shes a good girl, and I feel dissappointed and shocked that she turned on a switch. It wasnt even a date, and I completely let my guard down.

I talked to some of my alpha male buddies who tell me they've had girls tell them litterally to make a move. and when they didnt, they found it a better result because they wanted it even more. They tell me that I offended or upset her in the car over something else. That makes sense but again women are illogical so who knows.

 

[Sandow]

You're showing too much interest, and it's a slap in the face how she keeps ignoring you by not returning your calls and texts. Remember never put the ball in her court, she completely controls the frame at this point...and she knows it. Once you hand your balls over or give her the control, it's pretty much game over.

For example, you called her yesterday, she texted you "whats up?" and then you replied, "hit me up afterwards." WTF!! No, no no! Your giving her the control/power bro. Don't ever tell a girl to call you because 95.5% of the time she never will. It's like giving an HB your phone number and telling her to call you sometime! Lol.

Way too many signs of low interest level at this point, so regarding friday when you see her, please please don't show any signs of interest. Don't be angry at her, instead be the oposite, be in a great mood but make sure to talk to her friends or anyone else around, but not to her. Say hi, maybe something very small if you must and then go talk to someone else. It's the only way to get the frame back.

 

[Igetit!]

+1 rep. Sandow.

This guy is waaaay too needy.

I said fu*k it and called her up yesterday to set something up.

Why? Why did you call this girl up? What happened to your plan of waiting until Friday? This is why it's taught here on the forum to "spin plates",or that is,to pursue more than one woman at a time.

That way,you don't have to worry about giving any one woman too much attention or being needy because you'll have multiple options to focus on.

It's hard to believe you've been a member here since 2003 and don't know or apply basic Sosuave principles such as these.

She didnt answer and text me a few mins later saying "Hey wassup? Im at school" So I replied "Hit me up afterwards". I waited around and she never called or texted back.

I was actually surprised her answered. She asked you,"what's up",and what did you do? You displayed even more neediness.

Thats two strikes. I am about done with her.

crackup Boy this is funny. You're the one making all these mistakes,but you say that's "two strikes" for her.

I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw that.

I will see her again on friday because we have like friends, but should I even pay attention to her at all?

At this point,I honestly don't know what to tell you. You haven't listened to anything anyone has said so far,so there's no need in repeating the same advice.

Also,you probably have already damaged things beyond repair with her.

Shes a good girl, and I feel dissappointed and shocked that she turned on a switch.

What do you mean she turned on a switch? Why are you blaming her for the mistakes you made?
She showed an interest in you,a SEXUAL INTEREST. When you two were alone in the car together,she gave you the opportunity to recipricate that interest,and YOU DIDN'T DO IT. That's when she (as you say),"turned on a switch". What did you expect her to do,keep putting herself out there to a guy who either was too scared to make a move,or too clueless to realize the situation before him?

Sorry bud. You snooze,you lose.

I talked to some of my alpha male buddies who tell me they've had girls tell them literally to make a move.

It should NEVER get to the point of a girl having to tell you to make a move. That's like a woman telling a guy to be a MAN. Women don't want to have to hold your hand and lead you into a sexual interaction.

They tell me that I offended or upset her in the car over something else.

Over something else? Over what? I still stand by what I said earlier:This girl saw you at the barbecue and was attracted to you. You overheard her telling someone she thought you were hot.

What do you think she meant when she said "hot"? What,friendship? A "friendly" sort of hotness? Of course not.

She meant fire,passion,electricity,chemistry. You "turned her on".

She got all these feelings and emotions based on a first impression.

Then,when she got you alone in the car,you failing to read her signals/make a move shattered that first impression she had. She realized that you weren't what she thought you was.

That's why she seems different now.


And every interaction you have with her where you display more neediness only makes her happier that she didn't follow that first impression and didn't get any further involved with you than she did.


All I can say is I hope things turn out the way you want them to,and good luck.

 

[DontThink]

My original plan was to sit back till friday but my friend told me to call her up and stop wasting time. When she didnt answer, he told me to text her "Hit me up afterwards".

Needless to say, I will probably never listen to him again.

I've come to realize the mistakes I've made and I will learn from this experience. Thanks for all the help fellas.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

It seems like everything was fine and going well up to this point.
I think when she gave you a ride home and you two were sitting in her car together,then she "pulled her hair up",you missed your opportunity right there. You missed her IOIs.

Her giving you a ride home.
Her parking her car in front of your houise instead of leaving the motor running waiting for you to get out.
Her pulling her hair up (playing with her hair).

Seems to me you missed a chance to show her your interest by kissing her,holding her hand,or giving her some type of romantic gesture.

Instead,you played it safe by giving her a "high five".

99% of the time,when you play it safe,you lose.

Yeah,it's starting to look clearer now. Look at her behavior before the car ride home as compared to afterwards.

Before,she was calling you,talking about how "hot" you were,exchanging numbers,came over to where you were to hang out and play poker,etc.

Now she's giving you excuses,flaking and not showing up,etc.

She WAS sexually attracted to you. She was interested in you SEXUALLY. I mean come on,you overheard her telling someone she thought you were hot. But when you two were alone,you hid your sexual side,behind being nice and "high fives".

By looking at you from across the room,in her mind,she thought you were this hot,sexy guy,but once she talked to you,hung out with you,and got to know you,she didn't "feel" the hotness/the attraction anymore.

She couldn't feel it because of all the laughing,messing around,joking,and hi-fives in the way.

Sorry dude. Looks like you put out the fire she felt for you by being a nice guy.

I don't know if she's waiting for you to call her,because you've already called her and invited her out like twice and got two different excuses.

She may have nexted you already. If you can't get her to spend time alone with you,then you won't be able to re-ignite the chemistry she felt for you.

Spot on!! I don't get how you don't see where you fuvked up???? Girls like men, and part of being a man is acknowledging your sexual side. You definitely 100% without a doubt should've kissed her at the least...


Move on and if she comes chasing, then don't "play it safe" again. Playing it safe is worse than getting rejected, because your left wondering.




PIMP