Did I just self-invite myself or does she really want me to come ?

[Lover_boy]

So I’ve been dating this new chick for about 2-3 weeks now. We’ve gone out twice and on the second date she suggested to sleep over at my place. We didn’t have s3x though cause she was on her period (found a tampon in my bathroom garbage). Still hooked up heavily.

Anyways, now her cousin just came to visit her from Germany so she’s been hanging out with him and her room mate (a gay dude). She suggested I join her and her cousin on some fun activities to do around the city On Tuesday and said that she’ll be letting me know. I called her today to ask what her plans are and she said that they are going to the club tonight (her, her cousin and her gay room mate). She said “are you joining us” ?

I said sure and followed through with the plans, and she said to call her later tonight after I’m done with work.

However, I kinda feel like I invited myself, she did say she was going to reach out. Last time we spoke was on Wednesday night through text. But I didn’t hear from her since then.

I know she’s into me though, body language, heavy kissing, wanting to sleep over without me suggesting it. And she pays for a lot of things when we’re out together like rounds of drinks etc.

Unsure if I should go and join them or say something came up and I won’t be able to make it.

Thoughts?…

 

[Billtx49]

She suggested I join her and her cousin, On Tuesday and said that she’ll be letting me know.

She said “are you joining us” ?

I said sure and followed through with the plan

But I didn’t hear from her since then.

Two communication opportunities missed by you to set the outing plans in stone.

Waiting on her is no plan. Time to lead…

It’s up to her now, if she doesn’t solidify her invite when you call, you go do something else.

 

[Lover_boy]

Two communication opportunities missed by you to set the outing plans in stone.

Waiting on her is no plan. Time to lead…

It’s up to her now, if she doesn’t solidify her invite when you call, you go do something else.

I called her about 2 hours ago and she confirmed that they are going clubbing, and if i was joining them. My confusion is, if I didn’t call. Would she have still called to invite ?

 

[Billtx49]

I called her about 2 hours ago and she confirmed that they are going clubbing, and if i was joining them. My confusion is, if I didn’t call. Would she have still called to invite ?

You’ll never know without some experimental activity …
That question doesn’t usually appear tho when a man sets dates the right way. Welcome to the Forum, live and learn like everyone else here…

 

[Lover_boy]

You’ll never know without some experimental activity …
That question doesn’t usually appear tho when a man sets dates the right way. Welcome to the Forum, live and learn like everyone else here…

****, you’re right, I didn’t put the plans set on stone. I think I’m just gonna cancel on her

 

[Billtx49]

****, you’re right, I didn’t put the plans set on stone. I think I’m just gonna cancel on her

Your option. One on one dates at 2-3 weeks are usually more productive anyways …

 

[FlirtLife]

I called her about 2 hours ago and she confirmed that they are going clubbing, and if i was joining them. My confusion is, if I didn’t call. Would she have still called to invite ?

Maybe she wants to keep dating, but also wants to reassure you about spending time with her cousin.

How skilled are you at picking up small cues from women, and otherwise reading social situations?

You might have met up with them, and gotten a sense for this cousin - does it feel like one family member showing the other the local club scene, or is there an ex-boyfriend vibe between them? I wouldn't accuse or say anything about that concern out loud. But you might try and get a sense - to check your gut feel of the situation.

 

[jaymbrs]

You didn’t invite yourself. You’re overthinking like half the guys on the site.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Sounds to me like you are moving into the dreaded “friend zone” with her.

 

[RazorRambo24]

You're simply not acting like that's your girl.. You gotta own it man..

Sure no one wants to hang out with their girls cousin and a gay bestie, but if you knew how to take charge, you could show them some cool places int e city, while having alot of fun being touchy and feely and mushy with her.. then later make a plan to ditch the cousin and gay dude and give her a nice pounding.

When i was younger man id meet ag irl she'd come out to see me and it would only be the 2nd time and i'd still own it . if a girl locks lips wth u, that girl is yours until further notice.. id bring my grl around my friends so if i didnt own it, they'd def come at her.. especially cuz my boys are all older.. what i mean by own it is, u gotta display all that PDA (Public display of affection) let people know whos ass that is


Side note: to me a gay bestie is a huge red flag when it comes to women.. this is jus a personal idea, and doesnt necessarily relate to you

 

[Billtx49]

Also, why didn't you fvcked her in her period? Blood scares you?

Period time is a no go and personally embarrassing for many women.
I agree that occasional group dates are only for being in the exclusive phase, not in early dating…

 

[Lover_boy]

You're simply not acting like that's your girl.. You gotta own it man..

Sure no one wants to hang out with their girls cousin and a gay bestie, but if you knew how to take charge, you could show them some cool places int e city, while having alot of fun being touchy and feely and mushy with her.. then later make a plan to ditch the cousin and gay dude and give her a nice pounding.

When i was younger man id meet ag irl she'd come out to see me and it would only be the 2nd time and i'd still own it . if a girl locks lips wth u, that girl is yours until further notice.. id bring my grl around my friends so if i didnt own it, they'd def come at her.. especially cuz my boys are all older.. what i mean by own it is, u gotta display all that PDA (Public display of affection) let people know whos ass that is


Side note: to me a gay bestie is a huge red flag when it comes to women.. this is jus a personal idea, and doesnt necessarily relate to you

We went out, her cousin is 19 and tried using a fake ID to get to some of the clubs. Got rejected entry at 2 clubs.

We kissed a couple times but mostly in private, she said she was a bit shy to show affection and kiss me in front of her cousin so early on in the relationship.

At the end of the night, we were making a line to go to the last club. While in the line, we were all tired and she seemed bored and stand-off Ish. We weren’t granted entry due to her cousins fake ID so we left. We all KO in the Uber and got back to her place around 4:30am. I kissed her goodbye and went on my way.

The night didn’t feel as a win nor a loss but didn’t progress the sexual escalation.

I’m just going to back-off for a bit until she can go out by herself again.

Also, side note. When we were making the line at the last club. There were a group of guys from Norway chatting with us. She then lifted one of the guy’s shirt sleeve to take a better look at his tattoo. Did not really like that but I didn’t mention anything to her as it’s only our 3rd date. It put me in an uncomfortable situation though.
This girl has a very extroverted and outgoing personality.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Dude come on. You didn't hook up heavily if you didn't have sex. That's literally what hooking up is.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Period time is a no go and personally embarrassing for many women.
I agree that occasional group dates are only for being in the exclusive phase, not in early dating…

That's when you say "good thing there is always anal!" and see how she reacts.

 

[RazorRambo24]

We went out, her cousin is 19 and tried using a fake ID to get to some of the clubs. Got rejected entry at 2 clubs.

We kissed a couple times but mostly in private, she said she was a bit shy to show affection and kiss me in front of her cousin so early on in the relationship.

At the end of the night, we were making a line to go to the last club. While in the line, we were all tired and she seemed bored and stand-off Ish. We weren’t granted entry due to her cousins fake ID so we left. We all KO in the Uber and got back to her place around 4:30am. I kissed her goodbye and went on my way.

The night didn’t feel as a win nor a loss but didn’t progress the sexual escalation.

I’m just going to back-off for a bit until she can go out by herself again.

Also, side note. When we were making the line at the last club. There were a group of guys from Norway chatting with us. She then lifted one of the guy’s shirt sleeve to take a better look at his tattoo. Did not really like that but I didn’t mention anything to her as it’s only our 3rd date. It put me in an uncomfortable situation though.
This girl has a very extroverted and outgoing personality.

I feel ya man. It doesn't sound too bad.. What I do notice is a lack of initiative.. You should have made an excuse to try to get her alone.. aka leave early.. I think she was getting too tired the longer you guys hung out. The kissing early in the day has to lead up to something in my opinion.. Why start up the steam engine and then not travel to the destination? Regardless, no harm no foul.. Don't drag on the day, learn to reach a high note and then leave it there..

Its okay though man . don't allow anyone to make you feel bad about this. Half of these guys have no clue what they're talking about anyways. This isnt a make or break situation.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This may have been a test to see how much time and availability you had for her so early on. She invites you out randomly that night, and you had nothing to do or else she thinks you canceled what you had going on to hang out with them.

 

[jaymbrs]

If the is tactful it shouldn't matter, something like "its fine I've had my red wings before" or something silly. Many women are embarrassed because men make them embarrassed about that.

I've had women told exactly that is gross, but I was tactful, and still fvcked them

You’re pretty disgusting. If it’s your gf, fiancé or wife that’s one thing. But some chick you just started dating? Hell to the no.

 

[Lover_boy]

That's exactly why you never do that again! I've been there done that got the t-shirt. There is nothing mysterious about you agreeing to a group date.

Cause think about it, the girl would be like "wait he didn't accept my invite to have the opportunity to see me again even with a group of people? he has better things to do? or other women to see?

You lost value in her eyes, and if and a big if she accepts the next date for only you two for the next time, if you don't fvck her, you're probably in the free meal free dates category.

Her interest level has been pretty high and she still kissed me without hesitation but you are right about the mysterious aspect gone after I accepted the invitation to the group date.

The truth is I do have other things to do but since we had spoken about going earlier in the week I just went alongside her plans.

Gonna back off for about a week for now

 

[Lover_boy]

Ag

I feel ya man. It doesn't sound too bad.. What I do notice is a lack of initiative.. You should have made an excuse to try to get her alone.. aka leave early.. I think she was getting too tired the longer you guys hung out. The kissing early in the day has to lead up to something in my opinion.. Why start up the steam engine and then not travel to the destination? Regardless, no harm no foul.. Don't drag on the day, learn to reach a high note and then leave it there..

Its okay though man . don't allow anyone to make you feel bad about this. Half of these guys have no clue what they're talking about anyways. This isnt a make or break situation.

Agree, and she did mention on Tuesday that she wouldn’t be able to hang out just the two of us until her cousin left since she didn’t want to ditch him. Which I totally understand.

 

[Lover_boy]

This may have been a test to see how much time and availability you had for her so early on. She invites you out randomly that night, and you had nothing to do or else she thinks you canceled what you had going on to hang out with them.

Well either way, either she felt comfortable in inviting me out with her friends and or also wanted to see me