Did I just get blown off?

[Rhizzle]

So, you guys prob saw my thread about asking this chick out.

Question, did I just get blown off?

So, I called the girl yesterday at her work. I had a question about my last visit, and then I also asked her out. I basically threw out something about a cool haunted corn maze thing not far from here, and then I asked if she wanted to go. She said yea, asked when, and I said I didn't know exactly, that I was gonna be out of town this weekend for the game.

So, at that point, she got all hyper cause I was going to the game, and she said she is going too. She got all excited sounding, tell me who she's going with, asked the same question of me, and said she had my number now (caller ID I guess) and she'd call me up there so we can meet up.

Basically, she then sorta remembered that we were talking about something else (going out) and she said, so yea, sure, and then said. "Well, I'll find out about ____ when ___ (my stylist) gets back in here, and then I'll call you back in a little bit, and give you my number then so we can meet up in Knoxville. I said cool, cause I'll be back in the office then so I can write it down, cause I'm driving now.

So, she said yea, sounds good, and she'll talk to me in a bit.

Well, maybe she got busy, but she didn't call me back. So, I'm not sure why she didn't call back. Guess we'll see if she calls today.

BTW, this is a single mom who I've known all of 3 months, seen her about 4 times in that timeline, last time being friday before last when I was in for an appointment. I know of her through a friend.

 

[Phyzzle]

Yeah, my style is to always just make plans, right now. When any woman gives you the whole "let me check with my friends/coworkers/lawer/therapist/stylist then we'll get back in touch Thursday-ish to decide if we can go out", just say, "uh, nevermind."

You'll save yourself a lot of irritation. Plus, I do believe it's more attractive to say, "let's meet at 7:25 pm at Cotton-eye'd Joe's in Knoxville" (that bar rules). If she has any attraction for you, she'll stutter out a yes. If not, she'll just stutter.

As for being blown off, hard to say. She isn't involved with you, and so you can't expect her to attach much importance to vague non-plans. Try again later.

 

[edger]

So, you guys prob saw my thread about asking this chick out.

Question, did I just get blown off?

So, I called the girl yesterday at her work. I had a question about my last visit, and then I also asked her out. I basically threw out something about a cool haunted corn maze thing not far from here, and then I asked if she wanted to go. She said yea, asked when, and I said I didn't know exactly, that I was gonna be out of town this weekend for the game.

So, at that point, she got all hyper cause I was going to the game, and she said she is going too. She got all excited sounding, tell me who she's going with, asked the same question of me, and said she had my number now (caller ID I guess) and she'd call me up there so we can meet up.

Basically, she then sorta remembered that we were talking about something else (going out) and she said, so yea, sure, and then said. "Well, I'll find out about ____ when ___ (my stylist) gets back in here, and then I'll call you back in a little bit, and give you my number then so we can meet up in Knoxville. I said cool, cause I'll be back in the office then so I can write it down, cause I'm driving now.

So, she said yea, sounds good, and she'll talk to me in a bit.

Well, maybe she got busy, but she didn't call me back. So, I'm not sure why she didn't call back. Guess we'll see if she calls today.

BTW, this is a single mom who I've known all of 3 months, seen her about 4 times in that timeline, last time being friday before last when I was in for an appointment. I know of her through a friend.

Sounds like a flake with no interest(high probability). Reason I say that is because if you spoke to her in the middle of the day, the probability of her being able to have gotten back to you is high. If you had spoken to her at night that night(8pm), and something came up on her end, then I can see it being legit why she didn't get back, because it's possible by the time she was able to call, it was already late at that point.

I'll always give a b*tch the benefit of the doubt, but only ONCE. Let her be the one to call you now..if she wants to hang out, she'll have to come to you. But don't show her in any way it got under your skin. If it happens again, it for sure is a sign of no interest...in that case I'd let my machine pick up if she tried calling. And don't buy into any of her excuses if it happens again. But if you end up running into her, don't act like it got under your skin.

 

[Rhizzle]

Thanks for that response. My thought was. If she was kinda blowing me off, she would have kinda agreed to go MAYBE, but then maybe flake since I didn't set a specific time. (aka, that would kinda give her room to flake on and let it die.)

Instead, she got all excited about the fact that I was going to Tenn, and was ALL ABOUT us meeting up up there. She was all chatty about who she was going with and how we deff needed to meet up up there.

I had asked her a question about my stylist, about something she used before. That was my initial question. She was at work after all, and my stylist was out at that time. So she says, as soon as ___ gets back, I'll find out from her about the stuff and call you back, and give you my number. Somewhere in the middle of her conversation she sorta remembered that she still hadn't answered about the date, and just suddenly interjects in between her excited comments about meeting up at the game, and says, yea, we'll do that.

I've read threads on thtis very forum that said, if a girl offers her number, she wants you to have it. Granted she didn't say, write it down now, but she brought it up and offered anyway. Furthermore, I did ask about the stuff from my stylist and it is sort of her job to call me back with that answer. So, I don't get it. At the least, she coulda had my stylist call me back with the answer, and coulda told her to say she wasn't there if I asked for her.

It just seems dumb all around.

Thanks for the comments, and I deff wont let her know I was bothered.

 

[Rhizzle]

Aight, so check this. I had our mutual friend, call her up and invite her to watch the game next weekend. It wasn't like she was "calling on my behalf, because she invited the girl the week before, but she invited her too late.

Our Mutual Friend = OMF

So, OMF calls her, and says, hey, we just found out, they are picking up the game next week for TV, do you wanna come to Rhizzle's house to watch the game?

She tells her, yea, sure, I'm seein this guy _______, is it alright if he comes too?

OMF plays like she's oblivious, and says, yea, I don't see why thats a problem.

Then the girl says, ok cool, well I dunno if he's for sure gonna be in town, but I'll find out.

Then, the girl says, (quote..more or less) "oh, Rhizzle called me the other day, and I forgot to call him back, and when I remembered, I didn't have his number and couldn't. Yea, I think he asked me out" (end quote)

OMF says, oh? well, you coulda looked up his record, he is a customer there.

The girl says, oh I didn't even think about that.

I mean, what the heck. she said clearly, 3 times, "ok, well I have your number here, I'll find out ___ and call you back and give you my number."

Then she just doesn't call, and even if she forgot about looking up my customer file, (which I don't believe), she coulda called Tara and got my number or at LEAST passed along the info on the salon stuff I wanted, OR had my freakin Stylist just call me back.

how retarded. so I did get blown off apparently.

 

[marinetti]

there's your problem my friend, she said "I think he asked me out."

you need to state your intentions, and make sure she understands it's a DATE, as in "I am romantically interested in you."

I wouldn't even consider this being blown off. You're in the friend zone. Sorry buddy.

 

[Rhizzle]

Ok, marinetti, I'm with you, but please explain.

People on this forum keep/kept saying, don't use the word "date" or such. "Ask her to hang out and do ___ with you."

I wanted to say, hey, I'd like to take you out to dinner or whatever", and make it feel more direct.

So, which is it. I just wanna learn, but inconsistency is not helpful.

I think she friggin knew it was a date, she just watered it down to OMF, so she wouldn't look like a *****. It would sound like

Girl "So, _____ asked me out"
OMF Yea? What did you say?
girl "Oh, umm, I didn't call him back"

Then she looks stupid to me and her friend, as is, mainly ME.

Tell me why you consider this being in the friend zone instead of being blown off? Feels like being blown off.

Thing is, I wasn't/aint that interested. She's an attractive woman, I thought, going out would be fun, and she has a little boy. Its 100% not oneitis. I've had that PLENTY of times and I know what it is, now I'm NOT doing that anymore.

The only reason I'm still on this topic, is because I was using her/this as a lerning experience. I want to grow to be all that I can be and what I've never been, aka, Bold and attractive to women, and have the confidence to go out and make it happen.

I will state for the record, and all records in the future. I am not after some ass from anyone. I am ultimately after more than that with any woman I ever am able to approach.

Therefore, please approach any helpful advice you guys can provide with that in mind, because a piece of tail is not my agenda.

Thanks all.

 

[Phyzzle]

I think she friggin knew it was a date, she just watered it down to OMF

Yes, you're probably right. "I think he sort of likes me." I've heard girls say that about a guy who severely likes her.

Well, like I said, my advice is to either name a time and place or else don't bother calling. Phone convos are fun for her, but they don't do anything for her interest. That first time you called her, just get an answer. I don't care if she's a single mom who works the graveyard shift at the ER. Work does not spring up out of nowhere an hour before a date, so if she insists that it might, take the hint.

And I'd say you've been blown off. She gave you her digits, then changed her #, then managed to tell her other friends her new #, but not you.

And the other piece of advice: no getting friends involved in any way. Not even female friends. Your female friend could be (subconsciously) jealous of your attention, she could be (subconsciously) irritated by being asked for the favor, and all she knows is what the other woman SAYS. Who cares what she SAYS; to make progress, you need to be right there watching how she acts. She could go on and on about what a twit Rhizzle is, then bang you that night. What she says to her friends doesn't really matter.

 

[Rhizzle]

If you would be so kind, please clear your inboxes a little.

Phyzzle, ketostix, I was PM u guys, and I filled your boxes up.

If you're cool with it, I'll send the end of it after you open some space. What you have now wont make a lot of sense by itself....

Thanks...