Did I just get a fake number?

Visionist

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Cool board here, great advice.

I attend a latin dance class, and two interesting girls joined recently. The short cute one, my preference, doesn't connect much with me it seems. The taller, hotter one is more friendly. She tells me she does classical dance and so I say "You have Whatsapp right. I'll add you later and you can tell me about it, it interests me" (or words to such effect). So after class I catch her as she's leaving with another, annoying I-don't wanna-be-here girl friend of hers who also attends. She gives me her number and when I go to ring it, her phone, ostensibly hidden in her bag, doesn't ring. She and her friend say it's because the battery's dead probably. I go to add her on FB and her account is private; no friends in common. "We gotta get to a party, see ya next time" and off they go. Her number and name are on my Whatsapp list but there's no picture; I haven't bothered to try contacting it.

This is in southern Italy where chicks are weird to put it nicely. Asking a girl out alone without her friends attending is taboo, I'm told by my womanizing friends. I struggle to believe them but who knows.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Why the heck did you want a Whatapp number? Get her real number and go from there. If it is a fake number then move on. It's not a big deal.
 

Visionist

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Phone number is also the Whatsapp number. Nobody texts anymore.

You're right it's no big deal. It's something that's never happened to me though and makes me curious how a girl can smile and be friendly and then give you a fake number for no reason.
 

Asmodeus

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Women do this because they hate rejecting guys. They do not want to be seen as the "bad" person, and their delicate ego cannot stand being anything other than a perfect, flawless, goddess. They cannot simply reject face to face as it is too "hard" for them to do such. This is why women tend to go in roundabout ways to reject you instead of telling you they are simply not interested. Heck, I know a woman who was kind of a fiend of sorts and a guy was hitting on her that she was not into and instead of actually telling him she was not interested she points to me and I overhear her say that I was her boyfriend, which was a total lie. I asked her, why not just tell him you are not interested and to fvck off, why the unnecessary illusion? She said that she could not do it... That she could not openly reject him, even though she does not even know him and it likely would have been better or at least more honest than lying to him. Women are strange sometimes...
 

Stugots26

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They do not want to be seen as the "bad" person, and their delicate ego cannot stand being anything other than a perfect, flawless, goddess.
Eh...they get over it pretty quick. The real reason they don't like rejecting guys directly is because they've learned that most guys don't simply accept rejection without reacting emotionally. So women don't want to deal with guys who either can't handle rejection well, or worse, handle it dangerously poorly. They'd rather be roundabout and subtle and hope you get the hint because it saves them from bad situations.
 

Igetit!

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Eh...they get over it pretty quick. The real reason they don't like rejecting guys directly is because they've learned that most guys don't simply accept rejection without reacting emotionally. So women don't want to deal with guys who either can't handle rejection well, or worse, handle it dangerously poorly. They'd rather be roundabout and subtle and hope you get the hint because it saves them from bad situations.
BINGO.

Women don't like rejecting guys,especially if the guy approaching them is nice,kind,or respectful. You'll very rarely,if ever get a direct,straight NO when asking a girl out,so they'll do or say something that EQUALS a no.

Like instead of "no",you'll get....

"maybe"
"might"
"I don't know"
"I'm not sure"
"I'm busy"

and of course the ever popular,"We'll see". That way even though she really means no,in her mind she thinks she deceived you long enough to get out of the situation,and she can go on about her business without having to deal with how you'd react to her rejection.........be it you getting angry,mad,being hurt,or whatever.

You'd be surprised how far some women go to avoid directing rejecting a guy. I even heard of a case of a woman going all the way to the alter and marrying a guy cause she didn't want to reject him.

Perfect example: There's a thread up RIGHT NOW on the board called "I wanna curse this b*tch out". It's over a girl changing her mind about getting involved with a guy.....perfect example.



 
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casanova_goat

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I think all women should resort to "I have a boyfriend" when rejecting a guy. Unless the pursuer knows her on a more personal basis. When a woman gives me this I give her the benefit of a doubt and move on. And I'm spared of any sense of rejection.

I seldom get fake numbers from disinterested women. Rather real numbers which don't lead to dates.
 
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Jordski

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You overthink everything mate. Slow it down for awhile, maybe she just doesnt use whatsapp that much.. And youre just a guy she met on dance class. So is she. Shouldve left without adding her on fb though. Now she probably thinks that youre desperado or something..
 

Maximus Rex

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What was your purpose in adding her to FB and how was it suppose to benefit you?
 

bigneil

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Nobody texts anymore?? You hand them your phone in dial mode and say "put your number in". Then you text them a greeting with something seductive based on your current interaction, and you be sure to use their name and sign your name. If she doesn't reply, delete the thread. If you don't hear from her in a month, delete the number.
 

Create self-fulfilling prophecies. Always assume the positive. Assume she likes you. Assume she wants to talk to you. Assume she wants to go out with you. When you think positive, positive things happen.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

PrettyBoyAJ

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lol I don't even save number of a chick unless its promising. This was never promising so I wouldn't even have saved it.
 

Reykhel

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Cool board here, great advice.

I attend a latin dance class, and two interesting girls joined recently. The short cute one, my preference, doesn't connect much with me it seems. The taller, hotter one is more friendly. She tells me she does classical dance and so I say "You have Whatsapp right. I'll add you later and you can tell me about it, it interests me" (or words to such effect). So after class I catch her as she's leaving with another, annoying I-don't wanna-be-here girl friend of hers who also attends. She gives me her number and when I go to ring it, her phone, ostensibly hidden in her bag, doesn't ring. She and her friend say it's because the battery's dead probably. I go to add her on FB and her account is private; no friends in common. "We gotta get to a party, see ya next time" and off they go. Her number and name are on my Whatsapp list but there's no picture; I haven't bothered to try contacting it.

This is in southern Italy where chicks are weird to put it nicely. Asking a girl out alone without her friends attending is taboo, I'm told by my womanizing friends. I struggle to believe them but who knows.
Kid, you'd be better off not directly asking any of the girls in your dance class out. You have to see them every time you go to class, so if you get the brush off, which you have in this case.....it can be awkward unless you know how to deal with it very nonchalantly. But still, they had only just joined and you're in like Flynn, too much of an eager beaver....

the thing about social circle game is it's more akin to farming rather than hunting......

the girls in your dancing class are really doorways to their social circles and their friends....

Now really if you're trying it on with every girl in your dance class they will warn their friends about you when there is a social outing or when you go to parties arranged through this social circle.

On the other hand, if you're a man with a strong frame, who is fun and positive and charming......
that's how you'll be introduced to their friends...

The danse classes that I go to, the different groups usually have whatsapp groups. So everybody's informed
when there is a social or if someone is going out on the weekend.

If your group does not have a whatsapp group, that's your key to create one.....

You create a group and organize socials.....

.....they bring their friends. Social game needs more strategy and patience.
 
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Yewki

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So women don't want to deal with guys who either can't handle rejection well, or worse, handle it dangerously poorly. They'd rather be roundabout and subtle and hope you get the hint because it saves them from bad situations.
It actually has little to do with physical safety and almost everything to do with selfish egoistical reasons. It's not really female specific either. Everyone in general will avoid bluntly rejecting another person, even through text. People like to avoid confrontation. Why?

Telling that person to go away that you don't find attractive,
1) May result in verbal backlash (trash talking) from said person and damage your ego
2) Could be interpreted negatively by third parties and lower your social value
3) Will cut off a source of attention and ego stroking
4) Will close the door on potential opportunities you could have taken advantage of

Rarely does concern for physical safety trump any of the above 4 reasons.
 

casanova_goat

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It actually has little to do with physical safety and almost everything to do with selfish egoistical reasons. It's not really female specific either. Everyone in general will avoid bluntly rejecting another person, even through text. People like to avoid confrontation. Why?

Telling that person to go away that you don't find attractive,
1) May result in verbal backlash (trash talking) from said person and damage your ego
2) Could be interpreted negatively by third parties and lower your social value
3) Will cut off a source of attention and ego stroking
4) Will close the door on potential opportunities you could have taken advantage of

Rarely does concern for physical safety trump any of the above 4 reasons.
Good point but I think the biggest reason has nothing to do with ego. If a morbidly obese woman were to ask me out, I would have a hard time rejecting her on the spot, especially if she didn't do anything blatantly off-putting. When you empathize with someone, it's much harder to directly confront them. It's easier to reject them later (by ignoring their contact attempts) than it is to reject them face to face. It's undoubtedly easier and more convenient to reject someone via oblique methods than to be stand-up about it.
 

Yewki

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If a morbidly obese woman were to ask me out, I would have a hard time rejecting her on the spot, especially if she didn't do anything blatantly off-putting. When you empathize with someone, it's much harder to directly confront them.
I might just be too cynical but I would argue the reason you'd have a hard time rejecting an overweight person is mostly due to fear of being judged as cruel and shallow (by her, people she tells the story to, people nearby, etc), not so much feeling bad for the person's situation.

Kind of goes hand in hand with the idea that most people won't do something that's marginally unethical or illegal simply because of the possibility of being caught. Even if getting caught would be inconsequently and unlikely, the idea of being labeled a "thief" or whatever by someone is too scary for our egos to cope with.
 

If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

casanova_goat

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I might just be too cynical but I would argue the reason you'd have a hard time rejecting an overweight person is mostly due to fear of being judged as cruel and shallow (by her, people she tells the story to, people nearby, etc), not so much feeling bad for the person's situation.

Kind of goes hand in hand with the idea that most people won't do something that's marginally unethical or illegal simply because of the possibility of being caught. Even if getting caught would be inconsequently and unlikely, the idea of being labeled a "thief" or whatever by someone is too scary for our egos to cope with.
You may be right about not wanting to be judged as "cruel". However, I still believe compassion is part of the equation. Right now, I am seeing a lady whom I believe (objectively speaking) to be attractive. She seems to have her options. She is a lot more into me than I am in her. In fact, I don't really fancy her in spite of my trying to convince myself I should. She really isn't my type. It pains me to have to reject her (since she is nice and I surmise insecure) and I don't know how I should go about it. Once I do, I really hope she finds happiness with another guy.
 

Visionist

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There is of course, every possibility that her number wasn't fake and her phone really was dry (my teen sister's always in this situation, so was a student of mine I was (and unfortunately remain- longish story) interested in). I have another class this evening. I'm thinking either I try calling her number again in her presence and if it rings; "here's my number" and if it doesn't keep mum (might be weird though if I don't tell her first) or Hell knows...

...I'm much more into the other, shorter girl but when I FB voice messanger'd her "Happy Easter" and she replied "thanks" I asked for her number and she didn't reply. I don't wanna be disaffected and give up already because I'm sick of doing that all the time whilst my highly experienced friends get straight in there with seemingly no effort, making me feel like absolute $hit again and again and again. There's another girl in this class (not in my beginner's group, in another advanced group that shares the space & time) who I've been seriously interested in since starting in September, but she's never seemed easy and being a closed environment, I've not pressed the issue with her. Even my friends haven't (but they have with her super hot friend who I naturally barely know, lol).

I'm not a social person; I don't have hundreds of friends and I don't know everybody. My friends most certainly DO, and then some, so it's a piece of cake for them. I came here two years ago and my brand of ****y Funny really hasn't translated from English to Italian (a frustration I'm battling every day- this language is a pain in the backside). I even considered quitting the class a month or so back; it's full of hotties and my friends are spinning 4-5 plates each in there it seems, and it pisses me off. I didn't quit though as I do wanna learn to dance...
 

Yewki

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I FB voice messanger'd her "Happy Easter" and she replied "thanks" I asked for her number and she didn't reply
Lol she said "thanks" and that's it... quality person, hope things work out

@casanova_goat Yeah I'm not so cynical as to believe compassion isn't a factor but in your case you already know her and appear to like her as a person
 
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