Did I Handle This Situation Correctly? When Plating Goes Wrong.

[Millard Fillmore]

I guess my general question remains though: if you are currently spinning several plates and somehow run into another plate, what's the best way to handle it?

- Do you just do your thing? (Not leave the venue and just be unapologetically you?)
- Do you address the other plate about it if they do the pull back?

Or is it just a let it be situation and see where the chips fall ?

Option 1. You are within your rights if she is a plate. You haven't done anything wrong. For all that girl knows you were with a cousin. If she wants to act like an a$$ that is up to her. Probably half the reason she blocked you was embarrassment.

I don't think you've lost anything here, in fact you got some early intel on how nutso she is and now she's out of your life which is a W. Like the old quote says, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. I've made the mistake of letting sh*t slide and it only got worse.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Makes sense, I just don't see how you couldn't switch it up more often to where the chances of running into someone you know.

I think OP is leaving out some key details to make him appear more firm in frame and disinterested imho.

 

[Solomon]

To answer OP's question move on bro, this is one of the things seldom mentioned about plate spinning but if you play the game the L's come with it. If she blocked IME reaching with a different number or whatsapp ain't gonna make a damn difference just charge it to the game. It is what it is

2nd. I'm shocked that you live in Houston and ran into her in another situation. This is why it's always good to have an itinerary of what your plates are up to or date plates that live far from each other. For example, I live in a small town with less than 400K in the city yes the metro area is 4 million people but it's still a small town.

@jamesfromhouston
I honestly would never have the time or desire to juggle multiple women at the same time, I don't even know how you do this if you are a normal adult with other hobbies and interests, career, etc.

I agree with you as you get older your energy and time become more valuable for me I noticed it comes in waves(sometimes Im going on 3 different dates a week although that's not the norm compared to my 20s). I prefer to spin one plate at a time cause frankly that's all I have time for. In my 20s I would spin more but they didn't last long now that i'm older the last a bit longer. The problem is if you only have one then when it ends, you end up back to square one so I like to keep some girls in the tuck just in case or I go monk mode for months on end to focus on myself cause I noticed even one or two plates can be distracting from my purpose

 

[The Duke]

@jamesfromhouston

Unless you live in a small city or insanely active in the dating market, I don't see why this should happen all that often lol. Maybe avoid places that other people you know, including women you are talking to, frequent regularly?

I've had it happen to me twice in an area of 8million people and it wasn't places I go to frequently.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Sorry for reviving my dead thread but I thought I'd give an update here (perhaps, a lesson to myself in the future and to others that may find themselves in the same predicament).

Enough time had passed, so I thought I'd hit the girl up over the weekend on our unblocked messenger to see whether she would come out with me. I had nothing to lose anyway. The bridge was already burned right? Surprisingly she said yes almost immediately. We ended up back at her place that night and ****ed intensely. She later admitted that she was really jealous that night when she saw me with the girl and thought I didn't care about her at all. So she gave up on me. She ended up being right because at this point, I really no longer care. It is just about the sex. She is good in bed.

Interestingly, she monkey branched almost immediately to another guy after the incident. She met another guy 'she is really into.' She told me all about him prior to giving me a BJ for our 3rd round of smashing. She is into some new guy but she still came out with me regardless of that guy (or apparently what 'I did' to her). I think this really goes to show that if a girl has high enough IL, nothing is impossible. (Also goes to show, not relationship material). Anyway if I had stuck to my RP guns religiously, I would not have gotten laid last weekend. Sometimes it's good to deviate but the precondition is to have the IDGAF attitude and truly not GAF, which is what some of you suggested earlier in this thread.

 

[Foe]

mate you played this outcome like an absolute boss. Dont reach out, if you do she wins you fail and its gg.

If she does reach out play her like shes over-reacting and you were just mates with the other chick, then make her feel bad by suggesting your not really interested in drama but if she wants to come over and forget about you will too.

Oh just realised its a old thread, ignore my post.

 

[RangerMIke]

Don't like the term 'spinning plates' because it makes causal dating sound hard... it's not. You date to have fun and be with people... that's it.

The minute something becomes hard... well it's no longer any fun. Dating is supposed to be fun.

There is 'always another guy she is into'.... Read that again. never worry about women you are dating are doing when they are not with you. But when they are with you, if they talk about other dudes she happens to be fvcking, she is either being disrespectful or she sees you as a gay male girlfriend. The minute she starts that, well it isn't fun so you should just let her go... spending time with an impertinent drama queen isn't any fun at all.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Sorry for reviving my dead thread but I thought I'd give an update here (perhaps, a lesson to myself in the future and to others that may find themselves in the same predicament).

Enough time had passed, so I thought I'd hit the girl up over the weekend on our unblocked messenger to see whether she would come out with me. I had nothing to lose anyway. The bridge was already burned right? Surprisingly she said yes almost immediately. We ended up back at her place that night and ****ed intensely. She later admitted that she was really jealous that night when she saw me with the girl and thought I didn't care about her at all. So she gave up on me. She ended up being right because at this point, I really no longer care. It is just about the sex. She is good in bed.

Interestingly, she monkey branched almost immediately to another guy after the incident. She met another guy 'she is really into.' She told me all about him prior to giving me a BJ for our 3rd round of smashing. She is into some new guy but she still came out with me regardless of that guy (or apparently what 'I did' to her). I think this really goes to show that if a girl has high enough IL, nothing is impossible. (Also goes to show, not relationship material). Anyway if I had stuck to my RP guns religiously, I would not have gotten laid last weekend. Sometimes it's good to deviate but the precondition is to have the IDGAF attitude and truly not GAF, which is what some of you suggested earlier in this thread.

Good job man. I am glad this situation had a happy ending for you and you got laid by using your own techniques instead of using the regular cliche answer of “keep leveling up and keep it moving”. I guess from your situation we can conclude a little bit of patience, time, and initiative is sometimes all it takes.

I think when people post their issues here the answer most people look for is what can I do to get laid by the girl I am attracted to or I was ****ing before things turned sour.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Don't like the term 'spinning plates' because it makes casual dating sound hard... it's not.

You shouldn't juggle women. They should juggle themselves.

 

[Gamisch]

Don't like the term 'spinning plates' because it makes causal dating sound hard... it's not. You date to have fun and be with people... that's it.

The minute something becomes hard... well it's no longer any fun. Dating is supposed to be fun.

There is 'always another guy she is into'.... Read that again. never worry about women you are dating are doing when they are not with you. But when they are with you, if they talk about other dudes she happens to be fvcking, she is either being disrespectful or she sees you as a gay male girlfriend. The minute she starts that, well it isn't fun so you should just let her go... spending time with an impertinent drama queen isn't any fun at all.

I agree with everything you say except the last part I'm not sure about.

If you don't expect anything else from a woman expect sex, then her talking about other dudes is just as "harmless" as her talking about going on a shopping spree or whatever.

It might even be a test to see how you respond and to figure out what you want from her

Again, when I don't see any more value in her than entertainment (95% of the time) then I'm unfazed when they do that.

 

[Gamisch]

I'll try to keep it short:

There's a hot plate I met at a music fest that I've been seeing and regularly ****ing over a few weeks.

Things have been wild and fun between us. But there has been no mention of exclusivity nor have I suggested that we are anything more than casual.

Recently, I was at a bar with another plate and by bad luck, bumped into this plate at the same venue. I kept things cordial but was mainly hanging out with the other girl.

This made her very jealous and she started to make out and do shots with random guys around me, trying to get my attention.

I just ignored her behavior and did my own thing. Had a good time. Didn't really do anything too intimate with the other girl I was with but was just having fun with her and her friends.

The day after, the hot plate ended up blocking me everywhere, except leaving our WhatsApp communication unblocked.

I've just ignored this and not engaged. Not messaged or initiated anything, something she usually does.

In my mind she is obviously throwing a fit at me and I feel a RP response would be to just ignore it. If she does the pull back, I pull back harder.

But now that it has been 2 weeks of silence, I've been wondering if I should contact her and address what happened directly (despite this feeling like somewhat of a weak move to me).

How would you guys handle this?

I see someone read my thread ...or am I " just kidding " @OP...

Intuition vs redpill ideology

Most men find the redpill during a stage of rage. Utterly confused by one or more women they'll bath in the newfound knowledge and perhaps it's even baffling "how much there's to learn about women and game" and thus " how many mistakes one made before knowing all of that ". BUT, after a while...

www.sosuave.net

 

[TheGambino]

Sorry for reviving my dead thread but I thought I'd give an update here (perhaps, a lesson to myself in the future and to others that may find themselves in the same predicament).

Enough time had passed, so I thought I'd hit the girl up over the weekend on our unblocked messenger to see whether she would come out with me. I had nothing to lose anyway. The bridge was already burned right? Surprisingly she said yes almost immediately. We ended up back at her place that night and ****ed intensely. She later admitted that she was really jealous that night when she saw me with the girl and thought I didn't care about her at all. So she gave up on me. She ended up being right because at this point, I really no longer care. It is just about the sex. She is good in bed.

Interestingly, she monkey branched almost immediately to another guy after the incident. She met another guy 'she is really into.' She told me all about him prior to giving me a BJ for our 3rd round of smashing. She is into some new guy but she still came out with me regardless of that guy (or apparently what 'I did' to her). I think this really goes to show that if a girl has high enough IL, nothing is impossible. (Also goes to show, not relationship material). Anyway if I had stuck to my RP guns religiously, I would not have gotten laid last weekend. Sometimes it's good to deviate but the precondition is to have the IDGAF attitude and truly not GAF, which is what some of you suggested earlier in this thread.

Howmuch time passed after that “incident” did you contact her? @jamesfromhouston

You handled it perfectly. Now don’t reach out find new women and she will come back eventually if your up for it smash it again

 

[RangerMIke]

You shouldn't juggle women. They should juggle themselves.

Completely agree. The minute you are spending time trying to figure out what a woman wants, or worrying about what they might think. If you find yourself thinking about a woman you are casually dating for more than 5 minutes when you are not with her... thinking about what you two are going to do on a date. You are on the path to being a performing grinder monkey begging for coins with a tin cup.

Plan things you want to do then invite a woman along. Why spend your TIME and your MONEY... trying to figure out what someone else might like to do?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Plan things you want to do then invite a woman along. Why spend your TIME and your MONEY... trying to figure out what someone else might like to do?

And if they don't like it, they will suggest something different to let you know where they want you to take them.
And that is your cue to ignore their suggestion. Just file it away.

 

[RangerMIke]

And if they don't like it, they will suggest something different to let you know where they want you to take them.
And that is your cue to ignore their suggestion. Just file it away.

Exactly, when a woman suggests we do something that I did not plan, I always say "Sounds great, you can ask me out and pay for it." In most cases, they think you are being an @ss... and I never hear from them again.

This happens to me occasionally. Most recently back in January. Without going into too much detail, I invited a woman to an event I paid for. When we got there, we weren't there more than an hour when she disappeared later coming back and recommended that we go someplace else... I told her if she wanted to do that, she should take an UBER and go there. She didn't, she stayed, but I could tell she was butt hurt about it.

When it was over, she asked me to take her to this other place she suggested and not take her home. I did, dropped her off and left. I have not nor will I ever hear from her again. I'm definitely not asking her out again. The reason some women do this sh1t is that there are WAY TOO MANY men that will just go along with what she wants. I'm sure she was surprised when I did this, as well as I am sure she is running me down with her girlfriends... she will tell other dudes she is dating about what an a-hole I was, and these same dudes will nod in agreement with her behavior. "What's wrong with this guy! You are great, he is a fool... now what can I do for you your Majesty?"

She will never be really interested in these supplicating jack@sses, then complain to her friends and family that she just can't find a 'good guy'. I don't get mad about any of this, in fact I am grateful that they show who they really are so I'm not spending any more of my precious time with a narcissist.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yeah well she's a female soooo.... you want f*cking balls, go date a brother.

5:23-8:15

This is true in fiction and real life both

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

She will never be really interested in these supplicating jack@sses, then complain to her friends and family that she just can't find a 'good guy'. I don't get mad about any of this, in fact I am grateful that they show who they really are so I'm not spending any more of my precious time with a narcissist.

Anytime a woman tells me I'm not 'nice' or 'good', I tell her that her observations are quite astute. It has never been my aim to be either.

 

[ParkBenchRomance]

A girl gets jealous and decides to give you the cold shoulder. You've done well to not fall into her frame and chase her. But, after two weeks of silence, it's now a good time to reengage on your terms.

There's no need to grovel, or even directly address her behavior. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing it bothered you. Instead, reestablish contact something light, fun and shows you're still interested, but not desperate.

Maybe something like, "Hey, I've been hearing the best parties happen at this new bar downtown. You should come check it out with me this weekend."

If she bites, you're back in the game. If she doesn't, you've lost nothing because you didn't invest any effort into her drama. Keep it cool and let her come to you.

Remember, it's okay to have other options. In fact, it's necessary. You have to maintain an abundance mindset and not hinge your self-worth on one girl. So keep meeting new women and keep your options open.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Howmuch time passed after that “incident” did you contact her? @jamesfromhouston

You handled it perfectly. Now don’t reach out find new women and she will come back eventually if your up for it smash it again

Coming to almost 2 months.

I did exactly what you said. Since our incident and her "ghosting" me, I've actually been meeting and ****ing other girls.

Doing this allowed me to become so detached to the point that I don't even feel ashamed to consider reaching out to her.

My thought process was like this: if she would have said no, I would have been fine. I still have my other plates.
If she said yes, then I would get to smash again. She is amazing in bed.

I had nothing to lose really. At most, I would have lost my pride or "the frame battle". But those things won't get me laid with a lost plate.

Anyway since we ****ed over the weekend, this girl has been asking me out persistently, so she is back into the loop. Things are good again.

Here's an interesting reflection: I have an ex I am still somewhat caught up with emotionally but I have kept her on NC for months. I don't think I would ever reach out to her the same way I did this girl. Just because this girl meant nothing to me. Whereas reaching out to my ex might affect me on a personal level and my recovery. But sometimes I wonder if it is all just a matter of perspective. What if I took the same approach with my ex? The DGAF attitude. What sort of outcome would result?

 

[Chow Mein]

Coming to almost 2 months.

I did exactly what you said. Since our incident and her "ghosting" me, I've actually been meeting and ****ing other girls.

Doing this allowed me to become so detached to the point that I don't even feel ashamed to consider reaching out to her.

My thought process was like this: if she would have said no, I would have been fine. I still have my other plates.
If she said yes, then I would get to smash again. She is amazing in bed.

I had nothing to lose really. At most, I would have lost my pride or "the frame battle". But those things won't get me laid with a lost plate.

Anyway since we ****ed over the weekend, this girl has been asking me out persistently, so she is back into the loop. Things are good again.

Here's an interesting reflection: I have an ex I am still somewhat caught up with emotionally but I have kept her on NC for months. I don't think I would ever reach out to her the same way I did this girl. Just because this girl meant nothing to me. Whereas reaching out to my ex might affect me on a personal level and my recovery. But sometimes I wonder if it is all just a matter of perspective. What if I took the same approach with my ex? The DGAF attitude. What sort of outcome would result?

You’re sprung on this chick and she takes precedents over your ex. New girl knows this and keeping you at arms length. Women can sense when they have competition, you chasing her is only going to give her leverage. Keep it cool, see your ex if you have to, but this chick knows she got you sprung.
NC until she gives in. I’ve been in a similar scenario, they always come back. You just have to give them a reason to