Did I Handle This Situation Correctly? When Plating Goes Wrong.

[Afrodesiac]

Mate, just hit her up - If no discussion of exclusivity was had then she has no right to be throwing her toys out the pram (she done this to try and trigger you/to pull you off centre and get you to react/act emotionally, like 90% of women would) but she prob saw it as you two were ‘seeing’ each other (as most women do when you’re ****ing) and expected some level of exclusivity on your part (i.e not entertaining other women)…she felt violated and wanted to get back at you - its clear as day she liked you on a deeper level and if she had no intention of communicating with you she wouldn’t have left a channel of communication open. You’ll get all the hissy fit **** when you do reach out - just maintain frame and make her realise she’s acting over the top. YOU LOSE NOTHING by reaching out - **** all that “oh she’s gonna think i’m a ***** etc”…you’ve already won, she saw you out with another girl and knows you’re preselected by other, good looking women + you’ve smashed. If she further blocks or tells you to piss off then bye. YOLO man, you clearly care about her too - follow nike and just do it mate. ONE LIFE, never forget it.

 

[sangheilios]

This is some funny **** lol. At my age, 34, I can't imagine being able to put up with a woman like this, who I bet isn't much younger than me.

Serious question, why are you even putting thought into a woman like this to where you are posting about her online, let alone still considering her as an option. Women like this can bring a lot of bad things into your life and I just can't see how there is any benefit of keeping contact with her. You had a casual and fun short term fling with her, the next thing is to move on with your life and not revisit this.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Pretty funny story. This is exactly why a cool headed chick beats out the hot crazies. Because they are CRAZY and more often than not blow themselves right out, lol.

You have nothing to lose by reaching out, true. She left her WhatsApp unblocked so you can creep her story dude, and it will give her satisfaction to know you saw her story....you can bet she will be posting pics of her with other dudes. Best move on WhatsApp is to not look at her story so she can't have the satisfaction (in her mind) of you seeing her with other guys.

In time you may see her out again. You act chill when you run into her and you proceed as though nothing happened. If she ends up interacting with you, you tell her she's been a naughty girl and needs a spanking.

And her response to that will give you the answer one way or the other. Either way you act cool & unaffected. And don't creep her WhatsApp.

 

[member162951]

A passive aggressive, stereotypically feminine way of expressing her hurt, rather than growing some f-cking balls, and using her words to express her disappointment directly

Yeah well she's a female soooo.... you want f*cking balls, go date a brother.

@jamesfromhouston you into this chick? Like if you reconnected are you ready to go exclusive with her?

I agree she could have responded less emotionally/immaturely, but what happened is pretty standard in my experience especially when there's alcohol involved. And honestly I would think you'd be flattered by her jealousy which you know is the ONLY reason she began chatting up/making out with those other dudes.

I mean what would you rather, her act indifferently like she didn't give a f*** you were out with another "plate"?

The below clip, THAT's some major jealousy leading to a hot outcome!

 

[The Duke]

If you bring CrAzY girl back into your life you will expose yourself to even more of her outbursts. She has shown who she is. These are the types that will find out all the other girls you are talking with and and make your life hell. These types go thru your phone when you leave it unattended. She will find these other girls on social media and contact them and talk schitt.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Where you hooking up with the other girl in front of her or you guys were just in a group?

if you were not hooking up with this other girl and she starting doing all of this it is really messed up. I guess what you could have done at the time to mitigate the situation was to introduce her to everyone. Oh well.

On the other side of the coin, she probably felt embarrassed from the behaviour at the club and I guess used as well. Maybe that’s why she is “hiding”

it sounds like it is really messy and I don’t see a strategy where you can come up on top. I guess the 2 options would be to wait for her to text you and act like nothing happened or you reach out to her and “talk” about which you will eventually lose.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

The situation with the first woman died when she saw you out with the second woman. You can't do anything now so do nothing.

I think this raises an interesting question (for me anyway, hope someone can answer this) about plating in general. When plates bump, do they inevitably break? What's the best approach to handle these kinds of situations? Obviously no promises have been made to any of the plates when we are spinning and myself personally I always allude to the fact that I see multiple girls when plates ask me about it but them actually seeing this in action seems to inevitably lead to jealous and sticky situations.

why would you even entertain getting back with this person?

You're quite right. The sex has been good. I've been *****whipped into blindness to not clearly see the disrespect and crazy behavior before my eyes.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

I agree with the above comments but I just have one question for OP.

If you didn't want to lose this plate, why would you take THIS plate to a venue where it was even remotely possible that this other plate could be there?

Just seems like an unnecessary gamble to take, especially if the other girl isn't putting out - which I don't know, but am assuming based on the fact that you said you were out with her AND her friends. In which case, you probably could've avoided all this by inviting the hot plate to the group as an introduction to show you care more about her than this new girl you're with (in which case it comes down to which one ACTUALLY matters to you). Whether or not you're exclusive, she's probably only sleeping with you and wants to be recognized as your favorite, or at least moreso than the girl she saw you with.

And just so you know I'm not speaking from a place of not knowing what I'm talking about I had a very similar situation happen in college (I know, long time ago, but same premise). I was in a fraternity and was sleeping with this one girl for a while, but I wanted something new, so I invited a different girl to be my date to Bid Night. The plate ends up getting asked by a different brother and ends up at the same venue. During the night I'm less impressed with my date than I thought I'd be, so I separate myself for a little bit to talk to the plate and explain that my date is lame and ask her how hers is. She agrees and asks me what I'm doing later, so I tell her to come over after. Once the night ends and everybody is back home the plate lets herself into my house and waits in my bedroom before texting me to "hurry up" as I'm taking care of my drunken date. I end up walking her home then coming back to f*** the plate.

So TL;DR your plate is immature and you did the right thing, but could've been avoided by showing her some attention so she knows she's more valuable than who she saw you with. Or you know...going somewhere that your plate couldn't possible randomly show up at.

It was honestly just pure (bad) luck. We've never been there together (with either the girls). Just so happened the girl showed up! Out of 100+ other venues. Of all places too!

 

[jamesfromhouston]

In sum, I agree with most of my brothers here. This one has dropped and no point repairing it.

I admit I was slightly ***** whipped that it led me to question my original stance and question myself.

In reflection, we're not exclusive. She was a plate. Things were casual.

I wasn't rude to her at the venue (i.e. ignoring her) nor was I being intimate with the other plate (i.e. making out) I was with but the girl imploded and started doing crazy things to express jealousy (showing her colors in very immature behavior).

This is probably a warning of how she acts for situations she dislikes (What's next? If she's pissed, does she start sleeping around in spite?)

So yes brothers, I dodged a bullet here.

__

I guess my general question remains though: if you are currently spinning several plates and somehow run into another plate, what's the best way to handle it?

- Do you just do your thing? (Not leave the venue and just be unapologetically you?)
- Do you address the other plate about it if they do the pull back?

Or is it just a let it be situation and see where the chips fall ?

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Yeah well she's a female soooo.... you want f*cking balls, go date a brother.

@jamesfromhouston you into this chick? Like if you reconnected are you ready to go exclusive with her?

I agree she could have responded less emotionally/immaturely, but what happened is pretty standard in my experience especially when there's alcohol involved. And honestly I would think you'd be flattered by her jealousy which you know is the ONLY reason she began chatting up/making out with those other dudes.

I mean what would you rather, her act indifferently like she didn't give a f*** you were out with another "plate"?

The below clip, THAT's some major jealousy leading to a hot outcome!

That's actually very eye opening! Thank you for that.

Indifference is the true opposite of affection/love.

Where you hooking up with the other girl in front of her or you guys were just in a group?

if you were not hooking up with this other girl and she starting doing all of this it is really messed up. I guess what you could have done at the time to mitigate the situation was to introduce her to everyone. Oh well.

On the other side of the coin, she probably felt embarrassed from the behaviour at the club and I guess used as well. Maybe that’s why she is “hiding”

it sounds like it is really messy and I don’t see a strategy where you can come up on top. I guess the 2 options would be to wait for her to text you and act like nothing happened or you reach out to her and “talk” about which you will eventually lose.

Haha no! The funny thing is I was not even on a date! I was just hanging out with my other plate and her friends. We were all having fun together!

I do not plan on texting her. You're right.

 

[hellonwheels]

I think this raises an interesting question (for me anyway, hope someone can answer this) about plating in general. When plates bump, do they inevitably break? What's the best approach to handle these kinds of situations? Obviously no promises have been made to any of the plates when we are spinning and myself personally I always allude to the fact that I see multiple girls when plates ask me about it but them actually seeing this in action seems to inevitably lead to jealous and sticky situations.


You're quite right. The sex has been good. I've been *****whipped into blindness to not clearly see the disrespect and crazy behavior before my eyes.

@SW15 and other posters already answered the question, this was almost guaranteed dead with how you handled the run-in so gotta learn how to better completely avoid this situation in the future.

If she came back that’d be even more a red flag coupled with the behavior she showed. On the other hand if she played it cool and had self respect then it’d be a major uphill climb and pointless to pursue.

 

[jamesfromhouston]

Advice from the old lady:

Pretty funny story. This is exactly why a cool headed chick beats out the hot crazies. Because they are CRAZY and more often than not blow themselves right out, lol.

You have nothing to lose by reaching out, true. She left her WhatsApp unblocked so you can creep her story dude, and it will give her satisfaction to know you saw her story....you can bet she will be posting pics of her with other dudes. Best move on WhatsApp is to not look at her story so she can't have the satisfaction (in her mind) of you seeing her with other guys.

In time you may see her out again. You act chill when you run into her and you proceed as though nothing happened. If she ends up interacting with you, you tell her she's been a naughty girl and needs a spanking.

And her response to that will give you the answer one way or the other. Either way you act cool & unaffected. And don't creep her WhatsApp.

So wise. You predicted this spot on. She did update her WhatsApp story. I did not click into it but the thumbnail showed her inside some (I assuming some dude's) car. She doesn't usually update her WhatsApp.

 

[sangheilios]

@jamesfromhouston

Unless you live in a small city or insanely active in the dating market, I don't see why this should happen all that often lol. Maybe avoid places that other people you know, including women you are talking to, frequent regularly?

I honestly would never have the time or desire to juggle multiple women at the same time, I don't even know how you do this if you are a normal adult with other hobbies and interests, career, etc.

 

[CornbreadFed]

@jamesfromhouston

Unless you live in a small city or insanely active in the dating market, I don't see why this should happen all that often lol. Maybe avoid places that other people you know, including women you are talking to, frequent regularly?

I honestly would never have the time or desire to juggle multiple women at the same time, I don't even know how you do this if you are a normal adult with other hobbies and interests, career, etc.

This is very possible in Houston unfortunately.

 

[sangheilios]

This is very possible in Houston unfortunately.

How, it's a pretty good sized metro? Is it quite limited in terms of nightlife or other popular hang out spots for young(ish) adults?

 

[Learning Curve]

Actually I agree with you on this. I get girls can get jealous but the whole going crazy with other guys in front of me behavior is just questionable.

But suppose if I want to bang again, how should I approach it? Hit her up again (what should I say?) or should I wait for her to come around?

If you want to bang again then text her without mentioning anything of what happened and ask her out.

She will bring it up trust me, and you can mention that you had no exclusivity and it's none of her business to know what you are doing with other chicks.

Either she will like it or she will block you again, so either way you win.

You can tell her in a playful way if she wants you all together exclusively and why she got jealous?, but again not a relationship material.

She will not come around if you expect that as she blocked you, and she decided to play the immature kids game.

Start to roam for other women, don't expect much from her and remember:

Only 1 text. No more.

No reply, means Hasta la vista.

 

[CornbreadFed]

How, it's a pretty good sized metro? Is it quite limited in terms of nightlife or other popular hang out spots for young(ish) adults?

Because people tend to stick to places they like regardless of the metro size.

 

[sangheilios]

Because people tend to stick to places they like regardless of the metro size.

Makes sense, I just don't see how you couldn't switch it up more often to where the chances of running into someone you know.

 

[SW15]

When plates bump, do they inevitably break?

There's a good chance that they will. It does depend on the women involved.

What's the best approach to handle these kinds of situations?

Owning what you're doing. It is what it is.

Obviously no promises have been made to any of the plates when we are spinning and myself personally I always allude to the fact that I see multiple girls when plates ask me about it but them actually seeing this in action seems to inevitably lead to jealous and sticky situations.

You don't even need to do allude to it. If they get jealous, they get jealous. Try your best to screen for the less jealous types but that may not be realistic.

This is very possible in Houston unfortunately.

How, it's a pretty good sized metro? Is it quite limited in terms of nightlife or other popular hang out spots for young(ish) adults?

In Dallas, I find that it is very difficult to randomly encounter people. I think one of the better ways to avoid plates interacting to go to distinct areas with each plate.