Did I go too far tonight?

[vatoloco]

Hahaha! Seriously? Drunk + angry + butthurt = perfect recipe for disaster.

Well, at least you learned from this one: never let them know they got to you. If your personality allows for it, light C+F, Agree & Amplify and/or Amused Mastery is what you do. Otherwise you just politely bow out and go silent.

Though seriously, guys. If you don't WTF you're doing, please keep the texting to a minimum. Unless you want grenades exploding in your face, like in this case...

 

[Atom Smasher]

vatolloco is exactly right.

Texting is a dangerous game. Look at it this way: It's like using a huge lever. When you screw up with a text, it gets leveraged to MASSIVE proportions on the other end (in her mind). Converesely, anything gained by texting is small to moderate. The odds are against you.

Also, many guys go way overboard with CF. WAAAAAAY overboard. A little C&F is seasoning on the meal, not the meal itself.

I don't see the value in this woman, nor do I see any need to apologize. If a woman told me she "used" me, I would cut her off immediately. She sounds like a very low-quality woman and not worth giving the time of day.

Finally, OP you used a "gaming" term with her (social proof). Not the best tactic. We don't talk about the fight club, nor imply it. Even though the term is occasionally used outside of our circle. It's best to avoid any mention of our stuff.

It sounds like you weren't sure what to do and you experimented. Nothing wrong with that. You also showed wisdom in asking for advice about it, and put yourself out there for criticism. I admire that.

To nutshell it, a woman like that can do nothing but screw with your head. You should avoid them at all costs and define a set of standards that women must meet for you to be involved.

 

[dj_china]

should have just not replied to her last text

the things attention *****s hate the most is not getting replied to

I might even have stopped replying even earlier in the conversation

what were you planning on achieving through this text conversation? just cut it short so she feels the missing you part, then continue it at a better time (ie when you won't be interrupting her sleep)

 

[FairShake]

That was a pretty fvcked up thing to say. Not funny just ****y. So yes, you went too far.

Unless you have some kinda relationship with her I would cut my losses. You might have to apologize something fierce to get back in with her and I doubt, from what you've said, she's worth it.

 

[The_411]

Here is a text conservation I had a few minutes ago. I was no contacting a girl HB9 I met a week ago. I'm in a bad mood in general right now because I've had a lowsy day. Here is the gist of the conversation:

I asked her if she was going out this weekend and she hardly had anything to say.

Me: You seem like you're miss talkative tonight
HB: Sorry, I'm actually in bed. Gotta get up at 5
Me: Lame
HB: it's the only time I have to work out
Me: Yea you better not skip that
HB: Can't
HB: Gotta keep this a 10
Me: Haha keep dreaming
HB: You seemed to like it enough last week. Not my fault you can't handle it. Good night
Me: you were social proof and a springboard to another girl's phone number. I'd say I handled things pretty well

My mutual friend texted me a few minutes later

Him: what did you do to HB?!



So. My question is... did I go too far? Bear in mind, this girl is an attention *****, very insecure, and very pretty. She says she NEEDS guys for attention and used me and my friend at the club dancing on her to make her feel good. All of her previous boyfriends have been scumbags. So I figured there might be something to just being brutally honest with her. I definitely got a reaction. I don't feel like I should back down after all of this... but is this the right frame to be coming from, or do I just not get it at all? And I don't want my bro to be pissed at me for being a jerk.

What do you all think?

Lots of general rules broken in this exchange .... also points out why texting is not a good medium for any exchange going beyond a few lines.

Never tell women about running game or how it works. Your ending line basically screamed to her I'm bitter that you rejected me and so I'm going throw out a petty insult to make myself feel better.

Not to mention the fact what was the point of this texting conversation?

This woman is a non-starter outside of a casual lay. You've already identified multiple red flags. I wouldn't be surprised if she's a HPD.

The key is to be unaffected and be an adorable jerk. Frankly the first two lines spelled out to me that she wasn't interested and wanted to get away from the conversation. Most people don't want to talk when they're winding down.

The "conversation" went downhill quickly after she said she needed to get up 5 and you should have ended it after she said she needed to get up at 5.

You could have texted something like "make sure you milk the cows and feed chickens when you get up, and I would like breakfast at 7." And then gone dark from there. It's light playful banter with some ****y funny mixed in.

 

[Rubato]

I would like to clarify to everyone that this girl is NOT someone I would want a relationship with. She's someone good for a casual lay and nothing more. This was an experiment for me, something I saw as very low risk since I knew she's a low value girl. And when you experiment, sometimes you get bad results.

BTW, her excuse about going to bed was a lie because my friend had been talking to her and she was up, around and active. The reason I texted her was to get a feel for her level of interest based on how she responded to some simple statements. She obviously wasn't interested because she was quiet and lied. That pissed me off. And I reacted.

That being said, I feel like this situation reflects better on me than where I was a year ago. A year ago I would have let girls string me along and supplicate to no end. And even though my last line was a statement of contempt that made it plain I was upset, I would rather be telegraphing emotion (even if it's the wrong thing to do) than supplicate and act like a wimpy nice guy.

I'm obviously not there yet. But I will be.

 

[SgtSplacker]

You know? Whatever. Chicks mess with guys all the time. Sure it was a rude comment but eff it. From what you said Rubato you feel like she deserves it and maybe she does. She sounds a little manipulative and you served her some of the same **** shes serving. If I saw her again id tell her i was in a bad mood and didnt mean to say that, but I wouldnt apologise. If she asks you why you reacted like that i'd tell her that you value humility and that your not the kind of person to play games, she pissed you off. And if she gives you any of this perfect 10 concededness then also just leave her talking to herself and walk away.

 

[The_411]

I would like to clarify to everyone that this girl is NOT someone I would want a relationship with. She's someone good for a casual lay and nothing more. This was an experiment for me, something I saw as very low risk since I knew she's a low value girl. And when you experiment, sometimes you get bad results.

BTW, her excuse about going to bed was a lie because my friend had been talking to her and she was up, around and active. The reason I texted her was to get a feel for her level of interest based on how she responded to some simple statements. She obviously wasn't interested because she was quiet and lied. That pissed me off. And I reacted.

That being said, I feel like this situation reflects better on me than where I was a year ago. A year ago I would have let girls string me along and supplicate to no end. And even though my last line was a statement of contempt that made it plain I was upset, I would rather be telegraphing emotion (even if it's the wrong thing to do) than supplicate and act like a wimpy nice guy.

I'm obviously not there yet. But I will be.

Fair enough, my suggestion would be if you are going after a low value girl treat her as such. You already knew she was low value so expecting anything but low value behavior would be foolish. Otherwise once a girl outs herself as low value delete her information.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm obviously not there yet. But I will be.

I believe it.

 

[pdx1138]

never let them know they got to you.

A very wise piece of advice.

Silence is better than showing you were affected by them.

 

[FairShake]

You can't start saying sh!tty things to a girl until she already likes you. Calibrate yourself fool!

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Iceberg I agree with you completely. I dislike texting for THIS EXACT reason. Anything can be misinterpreted and often these text conversations leave no one any closer to getting laid.

I enjoy regularly texting with a girl I'm already dating, but before we go on several dates I keep texting to replies-only if she initiates.