This story is from 6 years ago, but it still got me thinking. Let me know what you think.
I had a thing for a girl I worked with waiting tables during college. She was a total tom-boy; she loved getting in the front row of concerts and dancing like an idiot. Loved getting drunk with me anyday of the week. She'd be waking me up as I'm passing out at 5:00am because she wanted to drink more. She was even a better athlete than me; she played softball at KU before injuries forced her out of not only sports, but college, due to financials. She was also cute. Totally crazy, just how I like 'em.
I was the most ridiculous of AFCs you can imagine. This girl literally threw herself at me on a regular basis. She slept in my bed a bunch of times, and asked me for massages. Kept repeating how she was single, and thought no guys wanted her. I am not sure my reasoning at the time, but I think it was that if she didn't make the first move, she wasn't into me. Looking back, it's absolutely terrible how I did not do anything. For my 21st birthday, she was the only one who hung out all afternoon with me and my two brothers visiting. She was there until the very end as well, after crawling through all bars in town. For my 22nd birthday, she took me out to the driving range, batting cages, go-karts, then for dinner took me to the nicest steak house in town (she's absolutely broke, see above), then got all our friends/coworkers out to the bar. It was a ton of fun. First time I ever sang karaoke; luckily for the audience, she backed me up. And all on a WEDNESDAY. (Summer in college, gotta love it)
After way too long of that happening than I should have been allowed, a guy just like me starts working there. Of course, she does the same thing to him. He was also a big AFC. I think she got him really stoned and was very forward, she basically asked him straight up to make a move. Then they started dating. He's an awesome guy (obviously, he's just like me!), so I'm happy for him, but obviously also jealous since he got the girl. Although only myself is to blame for that.
After almost two years of them dating, she's lived with him for almost the entire time, and it was definitely serious. She got a second job, 3rd shift, stocking shelves at some department store (she's broke, see above). Some of our mutual friends go in there and see her walking hand-in-hand with a co-worker there. Bad news. They report back to him, and after just a little investigation, it appears she has her boy on the side. I got wasted with her a couple times briefly after that, and she vaguely referenced something going down (saying how she doubted her relationship, etc. I obviously gave very bad advice to her at that time), but I was pretty blind to what was going on.
At least the guy was a man, and dumped her. Obviously he was pretty broken up about it, hell I would be too. This guy was totally me.
So, did I dodge a bullet? In other words, is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? As brutal as it sounds, I am sooo not jealous of him now. I'm closer to 30 than 20 now, and haven't been in a serious relationship. After seeing all of my buddies break off long-term relationships, as well as how much my older brothers fight with their wives, I don't see many advocates.
I had a thing for a girl I worked with waiting tables during college. She was a total tom-boy; she loved getting in the front row of concerts and dancing like an idiot. Loved getting drunk with me anyday of the week. She'd be waking me up as I'm passing out at 5:00am because she wanted to drink more. She was even a better athlete than me; she played softball at KU before injuries forced her out of not only sports, but college, due to financials. She was also cute. Totally crazy, just how I like 'em.
I was the most ridiculous of AFCs you can imagine. This girl literally threw herself at me on a regular basis. She slept in my bed a bunch of times, and asked me for massages. Kept repeating how she was single, and thought no guys wanted her. I am not sure my reasoning at the time, but I think it was that if she didn't make the first move, she wasn't into me. Looking back, it's absolutely terrible how I did not do anything. For my 21st birthday, she was the only one who hung out all afternoon with me and my two brothers visiting. She was there until the very end as well, after crawling through all bars in town. For my 22nd birthday, she took me out to the driving range, batting cages, go-karts, then for dinner took me to the nicest steak house in town (she's absolutely broke, see above), then got all our friends/coworkers out to the bar. It was a ton of fun. First time I ever sang karaoke; luckily for the audience, she backed me up. And all on a WEDNESDAY. (Summer in college, gotta love it)
After way too long of that happening than I should have been allowed, a guy just like me starts working there. Of course, she does the same thing to him. He was also a big AFC. I think she got him really stoned and was very forward, she basically asked him straight up to make a move. Then they started dating. He's an awesome guy (obviously, he's just like me!), so I'm happy for him, but obviously also jealous since he got the girl. Although only myself is to blame for that.
After almost two years of them dating, she's lived with him for almost the entire time, and it was definitely serious. She got a second job, 3rd shift, stocking shelves at some department store (she's broke, see above). Some of our mutual friends go in there and see her walking hand-in-hand with a co-worker there. Bad news. They report back to him, and after just a little investigation, it appears she has her boy on the side. I got wasted with her a couple times briefly after that, and she vaguely referenced something going down (saying how she doubted her relationship, etc. I obviously gave very bad advice to her at that time), but I was pretty blind to what was going on.
At least the guy was a man, and dumped her. Obviously he was pretty broken up about it, hell I would be too. This guy was totally me.
So, did I dodge a bullet? In other words, is it better to have loved and lost than never loved at all? As brutal as it sounds, I am sooo not jealous of him now. I'm closer to 30 than 20 now, and haven't been in a serious relationship. After seeing all of my buddies break off long-term relationships, as well as how much my older brothers fight with their wives, I don't see many advocates.