Did I do the right thing?

Respek777

New Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2016
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
43
I have been seeing this girl for three months. I'm 35 she's 24. Anyways she's friends with her ex on facebook. We started dating a week after her ex put hands on her. Over these past three months we have been taking things slow because I figured she needed time to emotionally move on. In these three months we haven't had sex, but I'm patient so I figured no big deal. We also work together so I see her almost everyday. Anyways last week she went on vacation and I barely heard from her, Which was weird considering she has been blowing up my phone before she went on vacation. So over the past two weeks I've been noticing her ex posting on her facebook wall. She was liking everything he posted, some of these were in a sexual manner. I talked to her the other day and I asked her if everything was cool between us and she told me "Yes" and she had "no feelings for her ex". So I was relieved until I saw her ex tag her in another picture which she liked. I got on her facebook page and checked her relationship status that was previously hidden, and now it was saying she was in a relationship with her ex. So I broke things off now I feel like **** because I feel like I overreacted. I didn't get mad at her I told her she needed to figure some things out and we should just be platonic friends. I understand that she wanted to remain friends with her ex, but to like everything that he post even if it's sexual in nature doesn't sit well with me. I feel that if you're done with someone liking everything they post on your wall is encouraging them, and then your relationships status says you're in a relationship after keeping it hidden. My question is did I do the right thing by breaking things off? Or should I have trusted that she's TRULY over him though every sign says she's not
 

popsickle

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 19, 2012
Messages
65
Reaction score
5
Are you serious? She's being sketchy AF, this girl doesn't deserve sh!t from you. It's also too soon and she's damaged goods at the moment. This one is clear as day, meet other girls. You can still screw her if you want.
 

MillionBillionaire

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2013
Messages
959
Reaction score
451
Age
39
Location
Minnesota
Dude... the GIANT PURPLE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM... 3 MONTHS AND YOU HAVEN'T FVCKED HER YET?

Sorry to break it to you but you were in the friend zone the whole time.

I'm going to be a **** and say that she is getting railed by her abusive ex.. you wanna know why? Because that is what damaged women do.

MOVE THE FVCK ON. 3 months and no sex? WTF were you two doing??

Again.. MOVE ON. Never see her again. Stop looking at her facebook. Go GHOST!
 

Respek777

New Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2016
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
43
We both work at the same job, and I have been working ALOT of hours these past couple of months,but that's still doesn't explain why we weren't ****ing. I felt like I was in the friendzone, but she would wear tight pants for me and we always talk with alot of sexual innuendos. A while ago she told me she had never been with a black guy before and she was "scared", but if she really wanted to **** I don't think that would really matter
 

Igetit!

Moderator
Joined
Jul 13, 2008
Messages
2,870
Reaction score
907
Location
The United State of Texas
We both work at the same job, and I have been working ALOT of hours these past couple of months,but that's still doesn't explain why we weren't ****ing.
Well you're the one who said you were taking things "slow" with her cause YOU FIGURED she needed time to emotionally move on.

You should have known better than that. I mean why would you take 3 months to try to ease into sex,when it only took her a week to move on from the ex and start dating again?

If she's ready to move on,she's ready to f*ck.


I felt like I was in the friendzone, but she would wear tight pants for me and we always talk with alot of sexual innuendos.
She wore "tight pants" for you...and used "A LOT" of sexual innuendos? And this was while you were continuing to take things "slow" so she could move on?

Well if she was doing all that for you,what more clear of a signal could she have given that she was ready for sex?

You expect her to hold up a picket sign that read,"OK....I've emotionally moved on now,let's go have sex."???


A while ago she told me she had never been with a black guy before and she was "scared", but if she really wanted to **** I don't think that would really matter
Again....she said this during the 3 month wait period you were giving her...correct? So she was talking to you about having sex with OTHER MEN......while you were waiting for her to emotionally move on to be ready for sex.


Sheeesh. (smh)

Your original question,"Did you do the right thing? Yes,you did. You made the right decision to break things off......

But YOU'RE THE ONE who caused this whole mess in the first place. Maybe you did it through ignorance...but you still did it.

Where you got this "waiting 3 months" thing from,who knows,but the second she started dating you,you should have started escalating from right then. How was she supposed to know what you were waiting for...did you tell her?

Just learn from this. YES.....you did the right thing,but if you'd done the right thing from the beginning,it wouldn't have been necessary for things to have gone down the way they did.
 

Respek777

New Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2016
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Thanks for the replies appreciate it. It wasn't my decision to wait three months that's just how long we were seeing each other for. We both have busy schedules so we hung out when we could. As far as escalation goes I kissed her, but it was more like a peck, which threw me off. I was also feeling her up at work. Over the month of June we didn't really hang out much because we were both working a insane amount of hours, but like I said before if she really wanted to have sex she would have. I felt like she wasn't ready to take it there, and she wasn't talking to me about ****ing other guys I was referring to myself. I thought she was scared to **** because she's white and I'm black and she hasn't had sex with a black guy. Trust me I tried to make things happen it just never panned out. I'm thinking because I became too familiar since we work together and she wasn't over her ex. I didn't want to press the sex if she wasn't ready that's what I meant by she needed time to emotionally get over her ex, but I guess she never did
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
51
I have been seeing this girl for three months. I'm 35 she's 24. Anyways she's friends with her ex on facebook. We started dating a week after her ex put hands on her. Over these past three months we have been taking things slow because I figured she needed time to emotionally move on. In these three months we haven't had sex, but I'm patient so I figured no big deal. We also work together so I see her almost everyday. Anyways last week she went on vacation and I barely heard from her, Which was weird considering she has been blowing up my phone before she went on vacation. So over the past two weeks I've been noticing her ex posting on her facebook wall. She was liking everything he posted, some of these were in a sexual manner. I talked to her the other day and I asked her if everything was cool between us and she told me "Yes" and she had "no feelings for her ex". So I was relieved until I saw her ex tag her in another picture which she liked. I got on her facebook page and checked her relationship status that was previously hidden, and now it was saying she was in a relationship with her ex. So I broke things off now I feel like **** because I feel like I overreacted. I didn't get mad at her I told her she needed to figure some things out and we should just be platonic friends. I understand that she wanted to remain friends with her ex, but to like everything that he post even if it's sexual in nature doesn't sit well with me. I feel that if you're done with someone liking everything they post on your wall is encouraging them, and then your relationships status says you're in a relationship after keeping it hidden. My question is did I do the right thing by breaking things off? Or should I have trusted that she's TRULY over him though every sign says she's not
Dating the girl who's ex put hands on her is a bumpy road. Looks like she is into the dramaand fighting if she went back to him. The more distance you put between you and her the better.
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
51
We both work at the same job, and I have been working ALOT of hours these past couple of months,but that's still doesn't explain why we weren't ****ing. I felt like I was in the friendzone, but she would wear tight pants for me and we always talk with alot of sexual innuendos. A while ago she told me she had never been with a black guy before and she was "scared", but if she really wanted to **** I don't think that would really matter
She liked your attention. She didn't like you. Next this one and don't look back
 

Respek777

New Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2016
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Thanks again the situation is over she got back with him. I know I made some mistakes along the way, but I learned to trust myself so it's all good guys cop and blow on to the next one
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,371
Reaction score
1,580
Age
41
learn from this always hit when the iron is hot, best way for a girl "forget her ex" is you ****ing her so good she will want to repeat that,
 
Top