Did I do the right thing?

[Sneevox]

A girl I used to hang out with a lot and I were supposed to hang out today. I was busy until 5:00, so we agreed she would come over when I got home. I got home and called her and said "Hey, I'm home now. You can come over now." and she said "Oh. Sorry, I already made plans with someone." and I said "You made plans over our plans?" to which she replied "Yeah, sorry..."

SO, I told her "Oh, well you're not coming over again. Talk to you later." and I hung up.
Did I do the right thing by punishing her for doing that? lol.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Good for you. I loved how you handled that. I am giving you a standing ovation now. Your response to her second class behavior was 100% perfect, but only if you don't ever contact her again, or answer her calls/texts. That's it. This one is burned and at least you get to leave with your dignity in tact; as opposed to the many chodes here who will try to use a similar situation to try to get her to hang out sometime.

Now onto what happened. Well, who knows? Who cares? The point is that she had very little interest in hanging out with you today, or anymore from now on. Don't know why. Did you hang out a lot without you making a physical move on her? If so, then she doesn't see you that way, and figured it would be more of the same. If you messed around and/or hooked up with her before, then she was showing total disregard for you. Either way, you handled it, and move on.

 

[nightcrawler]

handled it horribly imo. With a blow off like that chances are you won't get a 2nd chance

i guess you could turn it around and text her "sorry i got upset it's just that i was looking forward to seeing you i had a horrible day" ...since you guys have hung out a lot and such she'll probly forgive you and give you a 2nd shot.

it's a long shot though....if you blew her off like that simply for not her hanging out with you she probably thinks you're a creeper

 

[Sneevox]

it's a long shot though....if you blew her off like that simply for not her hanging out with you she probably thinks you're a creeper

Well, the thing is, man, I planned to hang out with her like a week ago and she made new plans over our plans. I don't like when people walk all over me, so yeah.

 

[Sneevox]

Your response to her second class behavior was 100% perfect, but only if you don't ever contact her again, or answer her calls/texts. That's it.

Thanks. I probably won't contact her again. She walks all over people and thinks she's a goddess or some sh!t.

 

[nightcrawler]

Well, the thing is, man, I planned to hang out with her like a week ago and she made new plans over our plans. I don't like when people walk all over me, so yeah.

yea man but you don't need to blow up when **** doesn't go your way...and specially at a girl you're trying to bang.

get some self control dude.

text her something along the lines of what i told you...if you guys were close friends etc she might forgive you. And if she does forgive you..next time you meet her act as if nothing happend.

and stop making plans so ahead of time...matter of fact stop making plans period. Girls hate plans. Just text her spontanisouly and when she says "oh bored etc" then make plans.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

handled it horribly imo. With a blow off like that chances are you won't get a 2nd chance

i guess you could turn it around and text her "sorry i got upset it's just that i was looking forward to seeing you i had a horrible day" ...since you guys have hung out a lot and such she'll probly forgive you and give you a 2nd shot.

it's a long shot though....if you blew her off like that simply for not her hanging out with you she probably thinks you're a creeper

Did you read the part where he mentions they used to hang out a lot? Now if things haven't happened, odds were they weren't. As soon as she said she blew him off, that was her way of telling him to get lost. This was not his "2nd chance", this was his 20th-40th chance.

This response reeks scarcity. Never, ever go apologizing and begging like a dog, and take the blame just for a chance at the pu$$y. As it is, any broad doing this has very little respect and/or low interest; supplicating for another chance will only put the nails on your coffin, and give away any dignity you might still have left.

OP,Now, IF, AND A HUGE IF, she begs you, the way you were adviced to do in the above response, then I might give her a chance, but she would have to make it up to you big time. I wouldn't even bother with this one. If you already tapped her, then you got something out of it. If not, you weren't anyway. Not when she's telling you she made much more important plans with somebody else.

Off course, this is my opinion; but it is the opinion of somebody who's gone through his share of $hit test and low interest women; also the opinion of somebody who's gotten and gets laid a lot. So, don't play second banana to anybody; do not tolerate that kind of disrespect.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

handled it horribly imo. With a blow off like that chances are you won't get a 2nd chance

i guess you could turn it around and text her "sorry i got upset it's just that i was looking forward to seeing you i had a horrible day" ...since you guys have hung out a lot and such she'll probly forgive you and give you a 2nd shot.

it's a long shot though....if you blew her off like that simply for not her hanging out with you she probably thinks you're a creeper

This is bad advice.

If you want to see her again, the best course of action is to pretend like nothing happened.

You don't want to get all sappy, "Dawson's Creek" on her. Just put her on the back burner for a few weeks, and reach out in the future. Either way, a girl who "makes other plans" when you clearly had plans with her, is NOT worth thinking about.

 

[nightcrawler]

Did you read the part where he mentions they used to hang out a lot? Now if things haven't happened, odds were they weren't. As soon as she said she blew him off, that was her way of telling him to get lost. This was not his "2nd chance", this was his 20th-40th chance.

This response reeks scarcity. Never, ever go apologizing and begging like a dog, and take the blame just for a chance at the pu$$y. As it is, any broad doing this has very little respect and/or low interest; supplicating for another chance will only put the nails on your coffin, and give away any dignity you might still have left.

OP,Now, IF, AND A HUGE IF, she begs you, the way you were adviced to do in the above response, then I might give her a chance, but she would have to make it up to you big time. I wouldn't even bother with this one. If you already tapped her, then you got something out of it. If not, you weren't anyway. Not when she's telling you she made much more important plans with somebody else.

Off course, this is my opinion; but it is the opinion of somebody who's gone through his share of $hit test and low interest women; also the opinion of somebody who's gotten and gets laid a lot. So, don't play second banana to anybody; do not tolerate that kind of disrespect.

yea but just cuz they hang out a lot doesn't mean they were close friends.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

yea man but you don't need to blow up when **** doesn't go your way...and specially at a girl you're trying to bang.

get some self control dude.

text her something along the lines of what i told you...if you guys were close friends etc she might forgive you. And if she does forgive you..next time you meet her act as if nothing happend.

and stop making plans so ahead of time...matter of fact stop making plans period. Girls hate plans. Just text her spontanisouly and when she says "oh bored etc" then make plans.

Ok, I can agree with this post a lot more.

The key is how he said what he said. If he said it calmly (I doubt it, unfortunately), and calm and controlled "Well, you won't get to hang out with me again", and just hung up, then that's one story. If he clearly came across as being affected by this and being upset, then this was the type of reaction that killed the interaction. Either way, he put her on the spot by asking straigh out if she picked the other guy over him; and she put him on the spot by just saying "yeah, sorry".

There are broads all over you. Millions. You learn and move on from this one. Unless she comes begging you like a dog. But don't count on that.

 

[Iceberg]

handled it horribly imo. With a blow off like that chances are you won't get a 2nd chance

i guess you could turn it around and text her "sorry i got upset it's just that i was looking forward to seeing you i had a horrible day" ...since you guys have hung out a lot and such she'll probly forgive you and give you a 2nd shot.

it's a long shot though....if you blew her off like that simply for not her hanging out with you she probably thinks you're a creeper

You're kidding, right?

If your buddy pissed you off and you yelled at him, apologizing and explaining your horrible day would help. With WOMEN who you are ATTRACTED to, this just makes you appear weak. And overly-sensitive.

Please don't advise people if you don't know what you're talking about.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

yea but just cuz they hang out a lot doesn't mean they were close friends.

Exactly, which is worse. We don't know if he's ever made a physical move on her. If he hasn't, then each time you hang out with a girl, the chance greatly diminish, due to a loss of interest, pretty much for not having the balls to escalate. If they weren't close friends, and they aren't already physical, then he's got no business just hanging out. Bad business.

 

[Sneevox]

Ok, I can agree with this post a lot more.

The key is how he said what he said. If he said it calmly (I doubt it, unfortunately), and calm and controlled "Well, you won't get to hang out with me again", and just hung up, then that's one story. If he clearly came across as being affected by this and being upset, then this was the type of reaction that killed the interaction. Either way, he put her on the spot by asking straigh out if she picked the other guy over him; and she put him on the spot by just saying "yeah, sorry".

No, I was pretty calm. I'm always really calm and collected. Not a spaz kinda guy.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

No, I was pretty calm. I'm always really calm and collected. Not a spaz kinda guy.

She will respect you and you actually might have a chance at sparking attracting and turning it around, if you actually let her pursue you, or try to make contact with you. You were the straight up guy, and women have been taking advantage of your kindness. You took the first step at turning this around. Way to go!

 

[Sneevox]

You took the first step at turning this around. Way to go!

Thanks, man! This site has helped me a lot.

Thanks, everyone.

 

[EvilAgenda]

"Oh, well you're not coming over again. Talk to you later."

That was a display of powerlessness.

Next time, nonchalantly, "Cool. Have fun." Click.

 

[Sneevox]

That was a display of powerlessness.

Next time, nonchalantly, "Cool. Have fun." Click.

Could you elaborate?

 

[EvilAgenda]

what you said was AFC.

Next time, just say nonchalantly, "Cool. Have fun." and hang up the phone.

 

[Sneevox]

what you said was AFC.

Next time, just say nonchalantly, "Cool. Have fun." and hang up the phone.

Elaborate on WHY it was AFC, please?

 

[EvilAgenda]

80% of guys would have gotten upset (like you did, and tried to issue some sort of an ultimatum e.g. go out and be banned from my house!). 19% of guys would have tried to schedule a "make up" day.

And the 1% of guys just would have said, ok, have fun, and went by their business unphased.

You want to be in the 1%.