Did I do the right thing?

[NSUballer]

So one of my girl "friends" calls me last week wanting to know if I would be in town to help her move outta her apt this week. I tell I her im not sure if I will be around and I will let her know.

While Im talking to her, as I have not actually spoken to her on the phone or in person in months, Im thinking 'why is she calling me now that she needs something from me?"

I would call her and text her from time to time to hang out, no romantic interest whatsoever. Strictly platonic. She would always make excuses about why she couldnt hang out or do anything EVERY time i would ask.

We have been "friends" for about 4 years now and used to be closer and actually would hang out occasionally in the past. She would call ME to hang out and go out or whatever. But in the past year and a half or so it has been like we dont even know each other beyond a mere acquaintence.

Of course I wouldnt mind helping a friend move if they really needed it but I would have to leave the where I am at the moment and drive 2 hours JUST to help her move her crap. So I ended up telling her today that I wouldnt be back until thursday, which is the truth.

Did I do the right thing by not going out of my way to help a girl who doesnt really seem interested in being a real friend of mine?

 

[Neon Owl]

Did I do the right thing by not going out of my way to help a girl who doesnt really seem interested in being a real friend of mine?

Yes.

 

[r0cky]

Its not about whether you did the right thing, but whether you care for her as a friend. If the answer is yes, then not helping her just because she doesn't wanna hang out sometimes is more of an ego thing, its selfishness. However, if your relationship with her has grown distant and you don't care for her that much anymore then don't waste your time helping her.

 

[NSUballer]

The fact of the matter is that she called me ONLY because she needed something from me. When I was lonely and needed a friend a while back she didnt jump to come hang out with me and she lives about 2 minutes from me and we go to the same school.

I even deleted her number so I didnt even know who called me and I texted back asking 'whos this' because I had deleted her number because I had no intention of calling or texting her because obviously she didnt either.

 

[Joe Stud]

pi$$ on her, just fade out and dont call her back. Do the flake thing, just as she has to you previously. This will put you in a category all by yourself... aside from her orbiters. if nothing else... it gives you the upper hand for the future

 

[brekke]

Send her a pic of your dik and tell her you will do a trade.

You have nothing to lose man, do it.

 

[Huffman]

What the hell is wrong with you guys? She just asked a favor, that is all!

Now, if you are interested in her, just say it's gonna cost her a cup of coffee. Or something else that has her do you a favor in return (and will get you a date).

This way you show she's not getting anything for free without being a jerk.
And you also get a date.

P.S. ONLY DO IT if she has been nice to you in the past. If she is an arrogant b1tch, feel free to play your mindgames or whatever.

 

[kingsam]

Did I do the right thing by not going out of my way to help a girl who doesnt really seem interested in being a real friend of mine?

Shes not your friend any more.... really is she?

SHE called you coz ther were no other guys around to help her! probably no girls either... sorry but whats wrong with her, she has no local freinds to help her? girls always have friends!? something is up with her...

 

[AmIAFC]

Same thing happened to me last summer with a chic from Ohio (who just moved to DC) and needed me to help her drive the uHaul truck to Columbus to bring the last few remaining items to DC.

When I was in Ohio, she never bothered to hang out, knowing full well I didn't have any other friends out there. She just flaked out on every attempt to mingle and so I had to figure out the city myself.

So she calls me out the blue to ask me to do this, which is about a 6 hour drive one-way. I told her I wouldn't do it, no excuses or explanation.

 

[teacha]

What the hell is wrong with you guys? She just asked a favor, that is all!

Now, if you are interested in her, just say it's gonna cost her a cup of coffee. Or something else that has her do you a favor in return (and will get you a date).

This way you show she's not getting anything for free without being a jerk.
And you also get a date.

P.S. ONLY DO IT if she has been nice to you in the past. If she is an arrogant b1tch, feel free to play your mindgames or whatever.

so you are telling me you would drive +2hrs just to help move stuff out of her apt just for a DATE (which by the way she will probably flake on you)?!

OP you did the right thing.

 

[NSUballer]

What the hell is wrong with you guys? She just asked a favor, that is all!

Now, if you are interested in her, just say it's gonna cost her a cup of coffee. Or something else that has her do you a favor in return (and will get you a date).

This way you show she's not getting anything for free without being a jerk.
And you also get a date.

P.S. ONLY DO IT if she has been nice to you in the past. If she is an arrogant b1tch, feel free to play your mindgames or whatever.

You need to re-read the OP. I wasnt going to get anything outta this nor did I expect anything. It was the fact that she didnt have the time or couldnt make the time in the last 9 months to hang out or do anything that any normal friends would do. Never called, rarely returned a text and when I would see her at school it was just a quick hey.

And then out of the blue she calls last week asking me to help her move. If I would have done it things would not have been any different but she would have gotten me to do her a favor without actually having to do anything herself.

And like I said before I dont mind helping a friend in need, its just that I dont want to be treated like someones asset they can call on ONLY when THEY need something.

 

[War Against Betaism]

You saved yourself 4 hours worth of gas just to help a "distant friend", not even a friend, move stuff. I think you did the right thing. Even if she was a close friend, unless you're pissing money, a 2 hour drive is a longs way off; you better be getting something good out of it.

 

[Kailex]

Tell her that she can call Huffman and he'd be more than glad to do it in exchange for a cup of coffee.

NSUBaller, trust me, she called a bunch of other guys before you and they all turned her down. If she hadn't called you in 9 months, she probably went through her phone first for her AFC guys, the orbiters, then the guys she didn't call in 3 months, and then 6 months and then you... and then she'll start calling up friends from high school and so on and so forth.

4 hours of driving and then the rest of the day helping out to move is a last ditched attempt by an AFC with hopes of becoming a white knight in her eyes.

You made the right move.

She could have lived right next door to me and I still wouldn't have done it.

 

[NSUballer]

Like the saying goes, you reap what you sow, and what goes around comes back around...

Ya telling me its different but what the hell is different, if ya cheated on him you'll do it to me...

Great song!

 

[Huffman]

Oh, I was thinking that she was a good friend of yours. I probably misunderstood your situation.

If it's a good friend I would help her move, but your case of course is different!